Absolution (36 page)

“It’s the metal rods,” she mumbled into the pillow. “Hurts sometimes.”

“Can you see them?”

“See what?”

“The metal rods.”

“No. Just the scar.”

Jack’s gaze flitted to her back for a brief instant. “Can I take a look?” 

The aftermath of the pain and the effect of the medication wore down her defenses. She reasoned that it was only a scar, and she was hardly in a position to argue. “Knock yourself out.”

He squeezed her hand again before letting it go, moving carefully around the edge of the bed until she couldn’t see him anymore. Slowly, she moved her hand to the hem of the t-shirt she slept in and pushed it up. Anxiety worked its way through the haze of medication like a cold knife. She waited for him to say something – that the scar was huge, that it was ugly, that it looked painful.

But he didn’t.

Instead, he gently pushed the t-shirt higher and the cool morning air hit her bare skin. His fingertips touched her back, so gently it almost tickled. The area around her scar was hyper-sensitive and she knew immediately when he was near it. She sucked in a breath.

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “I didn’t mean to hurt –“

“It doesn’t – hurt, I mean,” she swallowed. “The pain, it’s not coming from my scar.”

She held her breath as his fingertips floated over her skin with incredible tenderness, electrifying the nerve-endings.

Why doesn’t he say something?

Then he was lowering her t-shirt again. The seconds stretched out, her heart pounding against her tender spine so violently, she wondered if he could see it.

He crawled around the edge of the bed, settling into the same spot as before, reaching out to enclose her hand in his again.

“That’s pretty impressive.” He squeezed her hand, offering a weak smile. “But I thought it’d be bigger, for some reason.”

That’s it?

She looked deep into his eyes. If he was hiding something from her, she couldn’t see it, unlike his reaction when he had seen her sitting half-naked on her bedroom floor. Then, it had been obvious. Now… nothing. Wasn’t he bothered by the scar? Or was he just getting better at hiding it? Suddenly, she had a burning desire to know.

“What do you see?” she asked. “When you look at me now?”

“What do you mean?”

Her pulse raced. She couldn’t take it back now. “I want to know how you see me.”

He was obviously shocked. She couldn’t blame him. She was shocked too, but she had to know. She took a deep breath and tried again. “Do you feel sorry for me? Do you feel guilty, when you look at me? Does it turn you off, seeing this – seeing me, like this?” The words tumbled over one another. “The scar, the meds and the metal rods. The nightmares and the giant hole in my memory. The fact that we can’t hold hands when we walk down the street together anymore – that I can’t do a lot of the things we used to do together. The way I look, the way other people look at me –“

Her breath caught in her throat, her lungs unable to keep up with her mouth.

“Should any of that matter?” he said, interrupting her as she was about to launch into another list.

But does it?

He held her hand tight and she found herself hanging on just as tightly.

“I don’t know what it is you’re asking me, exactly, but I think you’re one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met. I fell in love with you the moment I saw you, did I ever tell you that? Now, when I look back on it, I think you kind of scared me. You were so confident, so much more adventurous than I was – you weren’t afraid of anything. You took risks and you threw yourself into things, heart and soul. We were opposites – when I was scared, you were brave. When I was reluctant, you were already committing. You took me places and showed me things that I never would’ve seen if it weren’t for you.”

Tears filled his eyes, and his expression took on an exquisite tenderness that made her heart ache for him.

“And then I let you down in the worst possible way,” he whispered. “But you gave me a chance to make it up to you, even when I didn’t deserve one. So you want to know how I see you? Beautiful, courageous, determined, generous, loyal and so much more, I don’t think there are even words that cover it.”

She felt so light-headed, she couldn’t tell if it was from the medication or from the sheer love she saw in his face.

“So, you don’t mind… about all of this?” she whispered, choking back tears.

“I mind that it hurts you, and I mind that you thought it would make any difference to the way I feel about you. I also mind that you still feel like you have to hide things from me. But I hope you’ll come to trust me again, because all I want is to be here, with you. Nothing else really matters.”

There was no mistaking the sincerity – in his heart, in his eyes, in his words.

She stared at him across the bed. “It’s like we’re starting all over again isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I guess it is.” He squeezed her hand, resting his chin on the bed.

She wanted to climb into his arms and have him wrap his body around hers.

“You don’t have to worry about this thing with Jimmy. I’ll work it out – it’ll be over soon, I promise.”

She nodded into the pillow. The pain had driven out all thoughts of Jimmy and the whole sordid mess, but now that the pain was receding, the worry seeped back in again. Once all this was over, she would ask him more about what had happened to bring things to a head like this, but first they had to get through the next two days.

“How’s your back?” he asked, interrupting her thought process.

“Much better.”

“Good.”

He smiled, one of those rare, sweet smiles that lit up his eyes from within and made her forget where she was and what she was doing. They would get through today, and tomorrow night the money would be in Jimmy’s hands and all this would be over.

Jack stared at Ally’s empty bed. Beneath it, a pile of cash was crammed into a canvas sports bag, hidden from prying eyes. He felt like he was in a dream world.

Callum had been in touch with Mrs. Watson, his Dad’s neighbour, and she had reported that nothing had seemed out of place in the neighborhood, which should have set his mind at ease. Instead though, it had the opposite effect. He was paranoid that they were there in the shadows, watching their every move. He refused to leave Ally’s side.

He felt like a stranger who was doing more harm than good. The catalogue of things he felt he should know about her was mounting. Nightmares, pain medication, exercise, massage – and he was the reason for all of it. He needed to calm down, but the very last thing he felt right now was calm, especially with the rendezvous rapidly approaching.

“Look, you need to relax,” Callum said from behind him. “Keep it together – it’s nearly over.”

The sentiment was so similar to what Ben had told him the day his father died, he cringed.

“You messed up – big deal. It’s just temporary, we can deal with temporary.”

“We?”

“It’s like Ally said – you’re not on your own anymore, you don’t have to deal with any of this shit alone.”

Jack threw him a quick look over his shoulder. “Thanks.”

“Come on, let’s go over the plan again.”

“I’ll take the money over to the house. You stay with Ally. I’ll call you when they’re gone.”

“See? Sounds simple doesn’t it?” Callum insisted. “The only thing I’m not over the moon about is the fact that you’re going over there alone.”

“I don’t have any choice – I’m hardly in any position to make demands.”

“I know, but you’ve got no back-up. What happens if it all goes south somehow?”

“It won’t.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I know Ben,” Jack insisted, with slightly more confidence than he felt. “He’s a businessman – that’s what this is about, Jimmy said as much. I stepped all over his street cred when I took off, so he wants his money so he can tell everyone I didn’t get away with it. It’s business, that’s all.”

“You sound pretty sure.”

“I am.”

“Then relax. If it’s as straightforward as you say it is, it’ll be fine. Come on, we’ve still got a few hours before you need to head over. Let’s get something to eat.”

Pulling up outside his house, Jack felt the tension coiled inside of him, searching for an outlet. He wanted this over, and quickly. He glanced at his watch. He was ten minutes early. As he made his way up the front path, his gaze swept the front of the house and up the street on both sides. Nothing was out of the ordinary but it didn’t help to dispel the knot of apprehension that sat in his stomach.

He unlocked the door and walked into the hall, closing it behind him. Switching on the hall light, he walked into the living room with the bag of money and stopped dead.

Jimmy and his gorilla were standing in the eerie half-light, watching him. Jimmy glanced down at the bag he was holding, and Jack immediately put it down on the floor, stepping away from it. He fidgeted with the keys in his hand, prepared to use them as a weapon if the need arose, but Jimmy just smirked at them pointedly.

“How did you get in here?” Jack demanded, with more bravado than he felt.

“Irrelevant,” Jimmy said, indicating the bag at Jack’s feet.

“It’s all there.” Jack shoved the bag towards them with his foot, his heart racing. The gorilla picked it up and unzipped it, showing the contents to Jimmy.

“You don’t need to count it,” Jack said, eager to get them out of the house.

“I won’t. If it’s not all there, we’ll be back. I’m sure you knew that.”

They eyeballed each other in silence.

“So that’s it then? We’re done here?” Jack prodded.

Jimmy smiled, and Jack’s blood ran cold. “Not quite.”

“
You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope… I have loved none but you.
”

- Jane Austen

Callum checked his watch again, tapping his foot nervously. He should have heard from Jack by now. He got up and peered through a crack in the curtains, scanning the street in front of Ally’s house.

“Call him,” she said from her place at the kitchen table. “If you don’t, I will. It’s been forty minutes – how long does it take to hand over a bag of cash?”

Not bothering to argue, he dug his phone out of his pocket and dialed Jack’s number. As he listened to it ringing, he shrugged helplessly across the room at Ally.

“Something’s wrong, I can feel it,” she said.

Callum disconnected the call, then dialed again.

“Who are you calling?”

“Maggie and Jane. While I check up on him, you three are gonna have a quiet drink at Barney’s.”

She stared at him blankly.

“You’ll be safer in a room full of people,” he explained. “Trust me.”

Callum pulled up slowly behind Jack’s car, parked outside Tom’s house. He pushed the car door shut behind him carefully, conscious of not disturbing the peace in the quiet street.

So, Jack’s car was here. He wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing yet. Keeping his wits about him, he made his way up the front path. In the darkness, the light from within the house illuminated the fact that the front door was ajar. Odd. He crept up the stairs onto the porch, but nothing else seemed out of place. Still, he couldn’t help the anxiety that sat in his throat. He gently pushed the door open and a cold chill stung the back of his neck.

The hall table had been overturned and lay on its side, contents spewing out of the single drawer.

“Jack?” he called tentatively, panic overwhelming his need for stealth.

No reply. Broken glass crunched beneath his feet as he made his way through the hall and into the living room. “Are you here?”

He stepped over a dining room chair inside the living room doorway. More upturned furniture greeted him. Then he noticed a boot, partially obscured behind an overturned armchair.

His heart stopped as the image sensors in his brain put two and two together.

He covered the short distance in a millisecond, dropping to his knees beside him as his heart threatened to leap out of his chest.

Jack lay face down on the floor, out cold.

Callum checked his watch again. God, how he hated hospitals. The smell of the place was enough to make him feel sick – a peculiar mix of Lysol and misery, wrapped up in one jagged little bundle that scraped away at his insides. He glanced up as the outer doors opened and Maggie, Jane and Ally made their way into the waiting room, blinking in the harsh light. Maggie rushed straight over to him, grabbing him by the arm.

“What the hell went wrong? How is he?” she demanded.

“Keep your voice down,” he warned, eyeballing the deputy who was talking to someone at the reception counter. He had managed to answer all of his questions without once telling him the truth. He didn’t want to foul it up now. Once again, he crossed his fingers that Jack’s insistence on keeping the cops out of it was the right thing to do.

“I knew it wouldn’t be as simple as he said,” Ally said, staring up at him with tears in her eyes. “Why couldn’t he just tell us the truth?”

“I don’t know, but he’s going to be fine, according to the doc.”

He reached down to squeeze her shoulder, conjuring up a smile from somewhere. He could tell from Ally’s face that she could see right through it.

“What did the doctor say?”

“In a nutshell – a bruised kidney, a couple of cracked ribs and a concussion on that thick skull of his.”

“Oh my God,” Ally’s chin trembled, as Maggie reached for her hand.

“Come on, let’s all get comfortable,” she said.

“Good idea. The doc said someone would come and get us when it was okay to go see him.”

They settled down into the bank of plastic chairs to wait.

“The concussion seemed to be the thing they were the most worried about,” Callum said after a few minutes. He wanted to tell Ally that everything would be fine, but with the doctors’ words ringing in his ears, he thought she would be better off knowing the truth. “He said there’s some swelling to his brain. He might be out for 24 hours or so. They’re pumping meds into him to keep him under – something about giving him a chance to heal.”

Ally nodded silently, her gaze wandering to the door that led into the emergency room. Callum read her mind. If they could just see for themselves that he was okay, it would make this whole nightmare seem that much less terrifying.

“So that guy – Jimmy – any sign of him?” Maggie asked tentatively.

Callum shook his head. “None. If I were to take a guess, I’d say they grabbed the bag, did a number on Jack and trashed the place before they left.”

They watched people come and go, mostly in silence. Callum kept a close eye on Ally, but her gaze was leveled on the door. There didn’t seem to be much point in talking. Finally, when he thought he couldn’t wait much longer, a nurse finally appeared, leading them down the hall, through the doors and into the emergency room.

Ally was determined to stay calm and remain positive. But as the curtain surrounding his bed was pulled aside, revealing the full extent of what Jack had been through, she was tempted to do the complete opposite.

Jack lay propped up on the bed, his previous bruises blending into insignificance faced with the cuts and bruises that now marked his face. Ally shuddered as she slowly moved around the bed towards him. A padded bandage wound around the side of his head. What had done that? A boot? A fist? A weapon of some sort? She choked back tears as a hand squeezed her shoulder.

“Hey, come on. He’s gonna be okay,” Callum whispered.

Jack was pale, a cannula clipped to his nose and disappearing behind his ears. He looked like a rag doll that had been kicked around endlessly before finally being thrown on the scrap heap, unloved and unwanted.

Except he is wanted, and loved.

The realisation presented itself with such force, fighting its way up from the centre of her soul, that she felt light-headed. She took a moment to fight the sensation of falling. She wheeled forward, reaching for Jack’s hand and holding on tight. She willed him to squeeze back, to show some sign that he was with her in more than just body.

Outside the curtain, the emergency room buzzed with urgency as medical staff called out instructions and demanded answers as they went about the business of saving lives.

Inside the curtain however, all was quiet.

Callum glanced in the rear-view mirror as they drove away from the hospital. The cluster of buildings, dominated by a single, concrete, multi-storied structure that seemed to dwarf the surrounding area, loomed in the distance. A shiver crawled up his spine as he tore his gaze away from the building and tried to concentrate on the road ahead.

The landscape flew by as he barreled into the night. Ally sat silently in the passenger seat, her mind clearly somewhere else. He half expected her to tell him to slow down. She didn’t. In fact, she had barely said a word since they left the emergency room.

He glanced at his watch. Almost two o’clock in the morning and the adrenaline rush had begun to wear off. Fatigue slowly wrapped its warm arms around him and he struggled against the urge to give in. He didn’t see any sign of the car he had seen a few days prior, and convinced himself that after what happened to Jack, Jimmy and his henchman had probably high-tailed it out of town. Still, he was reluctant to leave Ally alone, knowing that they knew where she lived, and with the image of what they had done to Jack still so fresh in his mind.

Pulling into her driveway twenty minutes later, he killed the engine. The security light came on, bathing them in cool, white light, and he glanced over at her.

“Do you mind if I crash on your couch tonight? I’m wrecked.”

She shook her head but other than that, made no move to get out of the car.

“How are you doing?” he asked. “You’ve been pretty quiet.”

“I’m fine. Just tired.”

He followed her up the front path to the house. As she unlocked the door and let them in, he put his finger to his lips and urged her silently to stay put. She didn’t argue. He carefully checked each room in turn, just in case. Satisfied finally, he came back to the hallway to find her closing the front door and locking it.

“Sorry. I just wanted to be sure. After what happened tonight, well… y’know.”