Absolute Lovers (Absolute #2) (12 page)

“Baby, you OK?”

Feeling equal parts mortified and frustrated, I forced
myself to look up at Julia, who was now sitting up, more alluring than ever, naked
with flushed cheeks and mussed-up hair.

What’s she doing with me? I’m a loser! I’m a failure.

“I can’t do this!” I lamented, gripping my hair so
tightly it was painful. “I tried, but I can’t, Julia, I just can’t! I’m sorry!”

“Stephen, baby, it’s all right—”

“No! It’s not. I wanted to give you everything. Look!
I got all this stuff,” I rambled, pulling the bag out and dumping the contents
on the bed next to her. “I bought all of this, and you’d probably be so sexy,
blindfolded and in handcuffs, but I don’t even know what half this stuff is
for! I can’t do it!”

I grabbed the small purple vibrator, waving it around
like a maniac.

“I
failed
! I failed you.”

“No,” Julia said, placing her hand on top of mine to bring
my waving to an end. “No, this is my fault.”

“What?”

“I pushed you, Stephen. I made you think I need all this stuff.
I don’t.” Standing up on her knees, she pulled me down to join her on the edge
of the bed.

“I don’t need all of this,” she whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“It…it wasn’t you,” I said, feeling calmer. “It was Matt and
Shawn. They said girls loved this sort of thing. And you, ah, expressed a
desire to be, you know, spanked.”

“Baby,” she said, so very softly. “All I was looking for was
a few slaps on my ass when you fucked me and maybe a little dirty talk. I
thought it would be fun. I didn’t expect you to buy anything like this.” She
held up the paddle.

 “I messed up, didn’t I?” I whispered. “I just wanted
you to be happy.”

“Stephen, I
am
happy. So incredibly happy. And for
the record, I love our sex.” She leaned over to kiss me and I let her, beyond
relieved that I hadn’t ruined everything.

“I
do
like it when you take control, you know that,”
she continued. “What you did just now—that was
such
a turn-on. But
if you didn’t like it, we’ll never do something like that again.”

“No, I…I liked it, too. Just not the part where I had to use
that
on you,” I told her, nodding my head toward the paddle in her hand.
I looked around at the rest of my purchases.

“And all of this, I don’t know. Would you enjoy using some
of it?”

“I probably would,” Julia admitted. “But I wouldn’t want to
do it without you. I’d only want us to use it together.”

I smiled a little, placing my hand on top of hers. She
smiled back at me and the mood lightened considerably.

“What’s the purpose of this one, anyway?” I asked, holding
the purple vibrator. “The guys wouldn’t tell me. Just that it wasn’t for, err,
your vagina.”

Julia smirked.

“It’s not. I don’t have a lot of experience in
that
area, believe it or not, but I’m pretty sure it’s a…how can I put this—a vibrator
for a butt.”

Blood rushed to my face.

“Oh.” I chuckled. “That would explain the lubrication they
made me buy.”

We looked at each other and both of us started laughing.

“We don’t need this,” Julia said, and gathered the items
together before putting them back in the bag. Then she tossed them underneath
my bed.

“There,” she said with a smile.

“Thank you.”

“Can I just ask one thing?”

I nodded cautiously.

“What made you go out and buy all those things? Did you
think I was unhappy with our sex life?”

“No. Not consciously, anyway,” I said. “I was nervous when
you asked me to spank you, and so I talked to Matt and Shawn, because, you
know, they have a lot more experience than I do. It just took on a life of its
own from there. I should’ve just said no when Shawn suggested going to that
place.”

Julia took my hand in hers.

“When you say ‘not consciously,’ is there a part of you
that’s worrying? You said you bought all of that for me.”

 “Maybe,” I whispered. “I thought maybe you’d like a
take-charge kind of guy for a change. You’ve taught me so much, and I just
don’t want you to get bored with me.”

“That will
never
happen,” Julia insisted. “Baby, I
know it was all about sex in the beginning, but it’s so much more now. And you
know that, too.”

I nodded.

“You’re all I need. So if you want to get rid of all of the
things in that bag, it’s perfectly fine with me, I swear.”

“Well, I did like the, um, handcuffs,” I admitted. “And
maybe the blindfold, too.” I looked at her. “Maybe…we can just leave the bag
where it is for now, and talk more about it later on?”

“I’d like that,” she said.

“I really
do
want to be more adventurous,” I assured
her. “And I did like being in control. I think it was just all too much at
once, and when I couldn’t do what I’d set out to do, I got angry. I’m sorry I
yelled.”

“That’s OK. Just promise me you’ll talk to me next time?”

“I promise.”

Falling back on the bed, I blew a raspberry.

“This isn’t how I thought the night would turn out.”

“It doesn’t have to be over yet,” Julia said, turning toward
me.

She started unbuttoning my shirt and soon I was as naked as she
was. Everything that followed was as easy as breathing now that I didn’t have
to pretend to be something I wasn’t. Julia accepted me for who I was—even
when I did stupid things like fall off the bed during sex and make a complete
fool of myself, which was pretty much my worst nightmare come true. Making love
with her, I could be myself, and that was more than enough for both of us.

I sighed contentedly as Julia
stirred next to me.

"Mmm, just give me fifteen more minutes,
sweetheart," I mumbled. "Then I'll make love to you again."

She chuckled and I cracked one eye open to look at her. She
was smiling lazily and her hair was in wild disarray.

"I need a break," she said, grinning. "Don't
you?"

I laughed and nodded. I was actually a little relieved that
she didn't want sex right at this very moment because, honestly, I was pretty
worn out.

Julia’s exams were finally over and, just as she promised,
she had pretty much kept me in bed for the last two days. We had made love,
eaten lots of takeout, slept in each other's arms, talked for hours, and
watched movies. All while completely naked. The whole experience was obviously a
first for me, but I was thrilled to learn that it was also new for her.

“C’mere,” I said, pulling her back into my arms. “You’re too
far away.”

“Mmm. This is so nice,” she sighed. “I never knew it could
be like this.”

“Like what?”

“Just…being, you know. Being here together and being happy.
No fighting or anything.”

“Why would we fight?” I asked, stroking her naked back.
“That one time was enough.”

“What time?”

“When I tried organizing your stuff,” I reminded her.

“Oh. You think of that as a fight?”

“Our first couple’s fight,” I said.

She laughed. “You almost sound proud.”

I nodded. "I've never had a girlfriend before and…I
don't know. Even the thought of having a lover's spat makes me happy," I
admitted.

"I'll go harder on you next time, then," she
teased. “I don’t think that qualifies as a fight. But then again my frame of
reference is probably different from yours."

I rolled over on my side to face her. "What do you
mean?"

"Well, seeing how the last fight I was in with a
boyfriend consisted of me screaming at him to get off some skanky French girl
while throwing stuff at both of them, it takes more than a little disagreement
or misunderstanding for me to think of it as a fight."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah," she mumbled, purposely avoiding my eyes.

"That's awful," I whispered. "I'm so sorry
that happened to you. That you had to see that."

I couldn't fathom what that must have been like. I tried to
imagine myself walking in on Julia and another man but pushed the thought away
immediately. It would never happen—Julia hated infidelity, and now I
understood why. I hated it as well, but in a much more abstract way since it
had never happened to me. At least the women I had dated in the past had decided
to stop seeing me once they realized that I was bad in bed.

No, that's not true.

Julia made me believe differently. I was a good lover; I
just needed the right partner. I’d been a late bloomer and all the sexual
experience that most men gained in their teens and twenties I was just
beginning to obtain now. It was as if it was always meant to be Julia who would
awaken my desires.

"I'm so sorry," I repeated. "I will
never
do that to you. You know that, right?"

She nodded and smiled.

"I know you wouldn't. You’re nothing like him—you’re
a good person.”

“So are you.”

“I’m not so sure,” she told me. “I feel sort of guilty. I
mean, I just lost Pop. I shouldn’t be this happy so soon, should I?”

“It’s what he’d want for you, isn’t it?” I asked carefully.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “I guess you’re right.” She looked up at
me. “I’m scared this will all go away. I’m scared I’ll screw this up somehow.”

“You couldn’t possibly,” I assured her.

“You don’t know that,” she whispered, pressing her lips
together.

“Don’t cry, sweetheart. Please.” I leaned in, giving her a
kiss. And then two more. “You know how I feel about you.”

She nodded.

“I know this is considered hubris,” I continued. “But
nothing bad is going to happen. We’re together now, really together, and that
means something to me. It means
everything
to me. And I know we can
handle anything, as long as we’re together.”

“I do, too. I’m sorry I’m spoiling it. I’m not used to
things being this good.”

“Well, get used to it,” I said, kissing her again.

She draped her arms around me, pressing herself close.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

I smiled, closing my eyes, holding her as she slowly relaxed
in my embrace and fell asleep. She’d been killing herself preparing for exams,
and it was no wonder she was still tired and also emotional. She had hardly
mentioned her grandfather’s passing since her first day here and I was glad she
was finally talking about him again.

I drifted a little, too alert to join her in slumber just
yet but too content to consider getting up. I had no idea what time it was and
both of us had silenced our phones. For the last couple of days, it had just
been us and I had loved every second of it. Of course, I knew that eventually
we would need to return to the world outside, but I was in no hurry.

Everything we did together seemed like magic. Even when we
disagreed on something it didn't take away the euphoria I felt. The only gray cloud
in our otherwise blue sky was the fact that we hadn't discussed what would
happen when our hiatus from the real world was over. We had only agreed that
Julia should stay with me while taking her finals, and now they were done. I
didn't want her to leave, but I was avoiding the conversation for fear that she
would tell me she was returning to her own apartment. Logically, I knew that it
was probably too soon for her to move in with me. We hadn't been together very
long and we still hadn't even taken our relationship public.

I held her tighter to me. The thought of only seeing her a
few nights a week made my heart ache. I wanted her here all the time. I was
being greedy and I didn't even care. I had waited my whole life to find her and
now that I had, I didn't want to let her go again. I had no idea what Julia was
thinking, because I was too cowardly to ask her. A completely irrational part
of me was hoping that if I didn't mention anything, she would just stay and
that would be it.

Irrational? Delusional is more like it.

I moved us slightly, rolling her over onto her back to look
at her as she slept.

“I love you, sweetheart,” I whispered, brushing her hair
back so that I could kiss her. “Do you know?”

Julia stirred, scrunching her nose before smiling in her
sleep.

“I hope you do,” I continued, outlining the contours of her
face with the tips of my fingers. “I hope you know how much you’ve changed my
life. I never thought I could be this happy.”

I knew I should let her sleep a bit more, but I couldn’t
help kissing her again. First her lips, then her neck, then lower still. Using
my lips and tongue, I teased her nipples into hard peaks and moved my hand
down, surprised to find her wet already. She didn’t need much of a break, after
all, and neither did I.

I looked up, but her eyes were still closed. Slowly, I
descended, parting her legs and putting my mouth on her, moaning softly as the
taste of her hit my tongue. A few months ago, I never would have imagined finding
myself in this position, let alone being good at it, but now it came easily to
me. I worshipped her with slow kisses and teasing little flicks of my tongue
until I felt her fingers in my hair pulling me even closer, and I stayed there
until she came, gasping and trembling, holding me captive between her strong
thighs.

The moment she released me, I pounced, claiming her with a
powerful thrust, taking charge the way she liked it. The way
I
liked it,
too, if I were being completely honest. I still had a ways to go before I’d be
able to use those toys underneath the bed, but considering how far I’d come
already, I felt confident I would get there some day. And even if I didn’t, it
wouldn’t change a thing between us. Julia wanted
me
and it was exactly
that knowledge that made me secure enough to try out different things.

“You like this?” I panted, pinning her wrists above her head
using one hand.

Julia moaned, nodding. I moved faster. Harder.

“And this?” I demanded, grabbing her hair to pull her head
back. “You like being fucked like this?”

“Oh, oh, God!”

Yes.

I didn’t stop until she came again, wailing out in ecstasy.
We collapsed on the bed, both of us sweating and heaving for air.

“Wow,” she finally said, laughing.

“Good?”

“I think you already know the answer to that.”

I smiled, lifting my head to give her a kiss.

* * *

The hours drifted away on a sea of
love and lust until reality came knocking, rather loudly, the following morning.

"We know she's in there!" Megan yelled through the
door. "Just let Jules out and no one gets hurt!"

"I guess the break's over," Julia said with a grin
as she started pulling on some clothes.

We had been sleeping peacefully just five minutes before her
friends descended upon us, determined to yank Julia out of my arms. I wanted to
be selfish and ask them to leave but I knew I couldn't do that. We had been
holed up for days, and it was only natural that her friends would be missing
her. I sighed and quickly put on a pair of pants before going out to answer the
door. I didn't want my neighbors to think that I was keeping Julia here against
her will and it could certainly be interpreted that way from what Megan was
yelling.

"I'm coming, I’m coming. Calm down," I grumbled,
opening the door.

The girls grinned as they brushed past me.

"Well, hello, abs," Sophia laughed, patting my
stomach.

I blushed when I realized that I hadn't bothered putting on
a shirt. After spending the last few days completely naked except when I
answered the door to get takeout, my clothes suddenly seemed restrictive and
uncomfortable.

Julia and I should definitely be naked more of the time.

"All right, where is she?" Megan demanded.

"She's getting dressed," I sighed despondently.
"She'll be out in a minute."

"Oh, relax already. You look like we're going to steal
her away from you forever."

I knew that I was acting petulantly, but I just couldn't
find the will to care. They were taking my Julia away, damn it!

Jesus, I sound like a kid who’s had his favorite toy
confiscated.

Well, in truth I really wasn't done "playing"
with her. I'll never get enough. God, I wish I had the courage to ask her to
move in with me.

But my mind was still functioning well enough for me to
realize just how risky something like that would be. There was no telling how
Julia would react to such an offer, and the last thing I wanted was to
inadvertently push her away. Things had never been better between us and maybe
she needed a little time with her friends, just as they needed her.

"Hey girls, where's the fire?" Julia asked as she
walked out of the bedroom, fully dressed.

"In your pants, apparently," Megan quipped.
"This place reeks of sex."

Julia laughed, wrapping her arms around my waist. I could
certainly understand why Megan would say something like that. Julia and I had
made love on every available surface and we hadn't exactly bothered to let any
fresh air in. In fact, the entire apartment bore witness to our lazy days—it
was an utter mess. I looked around at the dirty dishes on the table, takeout
boxes, and empty ice cream containers, which would normally send me into a
cleaning frenzy. Then I gazed at the beautiful girl by my side smiling up at me
and thought about the last four days we had spent together. There was no doubt
in my mind.

It was worth it. Completely worth it.

I returned the smile and Julia stood up on her toes,
reaching for me. Our lips met and soon we were sharing a passionate kiss.

"Oh, Christ!" Megan groaned. "Haven't you had
enough?"

Never.

I ignored our guests and kissed my girl until we were
breathless.

"I miss Shawn," Sophia pouted after we finally
broke apart. "Maybe we should just let them be and then we can go back to
the guys?"

Excellent idea! I knew I liked you for a reason, Sophia.
You just mosey on out of here and I'll take good care of Julia. We'll see you
in September. Buh-bye!

"No!" Megan growled. "When the hell did you
turn into one of those girls? The ones who can’t go one day without seeing
their boyfriends? We used to make fun of girls like that, remember?"

"Sorry," Sophia muttered.

"Yeah. Sorry, Meg," Julia mumbled, letting go of
me.

"That's better," Megan said with a smile.
"Besides, don't you need to go shopping for a certain important event on
Saturday, Jules?"

What event?

"God, you're right! How could I forget the garden
party? Yeah, shopping. Definitely."

Oh my God!

They were referring to my parents' Fourth of July party this
weekend, which would also be our "coming-out" party, so to speak.
Immediately, I felt nervous. It had completely slipped my mind as well.

"I just need to swing by my place first for a shower
and some clean clothes," Julia said as she started gathering her things.
My heart sank. She was really leaving now.

"Um, we'll wait outside," Sophia said. "It
was nice seeing you again, Stephen."

I gave her a watery smile and Megan a quick wave good-bye
before they walked out the door. A few minutes later, Julia had finished
packing. She glanced at me, shifting her weight.

"So…I guess I should get going."

"Yeah, I guess so," I replied. All of a sudden,
things felt incredibly awkward between us and I didn't like it one bit.

"Thank you so much for letting me stay here," she
said. "I hope I didn't make too much of a mess."