Abram's Daughters 02 The Betrayal (2 page)

111 her bedroom for a bit of privacy. When she considered how iivvful hot the upstairs had been these days, she thought she might take herself off to the coolness of the woods, stationery inii| pen in hand. If not today, then tomorrow for sure.

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No one knew it, but here lately she'd been writing to Jonas in the forest. Before her beau had left town, she would never have thought of venturing into the deepest part, only going as far as Aunt Lizzie's house. But she liked being alone with the trees, her pen on the paper, the soft breezes whispering her name . . . and Jonas's.

Growing up, she'd heard the tales of folk becoming disoriented in the leafy maze of undergrowth and the dark burrow of trees. Still, she was determined to go, delighting in being surrounded by all of nature. There a place of solitude awaited her away from her sisters' prying eyes, as well as a place to dream of Jonas. She had sometimes wondered where Sadie and her worldly beau had run off to many times last year before Sadie sadly found herself with child. But when Leah searched the woods, she encountered only tangled brushwood and nearly impassable areas where black tree roots and thick shrubbery caused her bare feet to stumble.

Both she and Sadie had not forgotten what it felt like as little girls to scamper up to Aunt Lizzie's for a playful picnic in her secluded backyard. Thanks to her, they were shown dazzling violets amid sward and stone, demanding attention by the mere look on their floral faces . . . and were given a friendly peep into a robin's comfy nest "but not too close," Aunt Lizzie would whisper. All this and more during such daytime adventures.

But never had Lizzie recommended the girls explore the expanse of woods on their own. In fact, she'd turned ashen on at least one occasion when seven-year-old Leah wondered aloud concerning the things so oft repeated. "Ach, you mustn't think of wandering in there alone," Lizzie had replied

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plitklyi Sadie, at the innocent age of nine, had trembled a I'M, l,rnh recalled, her older sister's blue eyes turning a peculiar yniybh green. And later Leah had vowed to Sadie she was

intent never to find out "what awful frightening things are iilillliM in them there wicked woods!"

Now Leah sometimes wondered if maybe Sadie truly had I "Sieved the scary tales and taken them to heart, she might mil have ended up the ruined young woman she was. At the it inter age of nineteen.

At the evening meal Dat sat at the head of the long

I 111'hen table, with doting Mamma to his left. Fourteen-yearilil Hannah noticed his brown hair was beginning to gray, luii^s cropped straight across his forehead and rounded in a I'owl shape around the ears and neck. He wore black work p.mfs, a short-sleeved green shirt, and black suspenders, i hough his summer straw hat likely hung on a wooden peg in

I1 ie screened-in porch.

Before eating they all bowed heads simultaneously as the nii'morized prayer was silently given by each Ebersol family member, except baby Lydiann, who was nestled in Mamma's I'knisingly ample arms.

() Lord God heavenly Father, bless us and these thy gifts, ii'/iich we shall accept from thy tender goodness and grace. Give us l

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Following the supper blessing, they silently prayed the Lord's Prayer.

Meanwhile, Hannah tried to imagine how the arranged seating pattern might look once Leah was married. She worried her twin also might not remain under Dat's roof much longer, not if she stayed true to her hope of higher education. How Mary Ruth would pull off such a thing, Hannah didn't know, especially now with Elias Stoltzfus making eyes at her.

She gazed at her sisters just now, from youngest to eldest. The table would look mighty bare with only five of them present, counting Dat, Mamma and baby, Sadie, and herself. It wouldn't be long till Lydiann could sit in a high chair scooted up close. That would help round things out a bit . .. that and if Mamma were to have another baby or two. Anything was possible, she assumed, since Mamma was approaching fortythree. Not too terribly old for childbearing, because on the Brenneman side of the family, there were plenty of women in the family way clear into their late forties some even into the early fifties. So who was to say just how many more Ebersol children the Lord God might see fit to send along? Honestly, she wouldn't mind if there were a few more little sisters or brothers, and Mary Ruth would be delighted, too; her twin was ever so fond of wee ones and all.

This made Hannah wonder how many children young and handsome Ezra Stoltzfus might want to have with his wife someday. She could only hope that, at nearly sixteen, he might find her as fetching as she thought he was. Here lately she was mighty sure he had taken more of a shine to her, which was right fine. Of course, now, he'd have to be the one to pursue her once she turned courting age. She wouldn't be

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fill tiny her way into a boy's heart like some girls. Besides, she W n'l interested in attracting a beau that way. She wanted a

11 unhand who appreciated her femininity, a man who would i if her for herself, for who she was, not for attractiveness

Hours after supper, alone in their bedroom, Leah offered hriiNli Sadie's waist-length hair. "I could make loose braids you want," she said.

Siulie nodded halfheartedly, seemingly preoccupied. Leah jlgd not to stare as Sadie settled down on a chair near the fcored dresser. Yet her sister looked strangely different. Hfe'd flaxen locks tumbled down over her slender back and llldors, and the glow from the single oil lamp atop the m'nnit cast an ivory hue on her normally pale cheeks, making "iti appear even more ashen. A shadow of herself.

Slnnding behind Sadie, she brushed out the tangles from long workday, tnen finger combed through the silken hair, iidling tenderly all the while in the mirror. Sadie's fragile 'Mint and chin were silhouetted in the lamp's light, her >wtinisr eyes giving her countenance an expression of pure iH",

Truly, Leah wanted to spend time with Sadie tonight, "High it meant postponing the rest of her letter to Jonas, morrow she would finish writing her long letter to him i in I up to the woods to share her heart on paper.

She and Sadie had dressed for bed rather quickly,

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accompanied by their usual comments, speaking in quiet tones of the ordinary events of the day, of having especially enjoyed Mamma's supper of barbecued chicken, scalloped potatoes with cheese sauce, fried cucumbers, lima beans, and lemon bars with homemade ice cream for dessert.

But now this look of open despair on Sadie's face caused Leah to say softly, "I think about him, too."

"Who?" Sadie whispered, turning to look up at her.

"Your baby . . . my own little nephew gone to heaven." Leah's throat tightened at the memory.

"You do, sister?"

"Oh, ever so much."

Neither of them spoke for a time, then Leah said, "What must it be like for you, Sadie? Ach, I can't imagine your grief."

Sadie was lost in her own world again. She moaned softly, leaning her head back for a moment. "I would've let him sleep right here, ya know, in a little cradle in this very room," she whispered. "I would have wanted to raise him like a little brother to all of us you, Hannah, and Mary Ruth. Lydiann, too."

If Sadie's baby had lived, the disgrace on the Ebersol name would have been immense. But Sadie didn't need to be

reminded of that at the moment.

Gently finishing up with her sister's hair, Leah began brushing her own, letting it hang long and loose, down past her waist. But quickly Sadie reached for the brush and said, "Here, it's your turn, Leah. Let me . . ."

Later, after Sadie had put out the lamp, they continued to talk softly in bed, though now about Mamma's plans to visit

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iIn* Must cousins soon. "I used to think it would be fun to I'-ive twins," Sadie said. "What about you?"

"If I could simply play with them all day, maybe so. But to ok und clean and garden, and everythin' else a mother must

I . "

i( 'li, Leah, you're too practical, compared to me." I .ruli had to smile at that. "I guess we are different thatwuy."

After a lull in their conversation, Sadie brought up the

I1 idc remark she'd made earlier in the day. "Honestly, I didn't i>i'Pnii to taunt you about writin' to Jonas," she said. "It was

nn\n of me."

" 'Us not such a bad thing to write about the weather,lil.-

.iilie lay still next to her. "I'm thinking a girl oughta iih whatever she pleases to a beau."

Whatever she pleases . . .

Inwardly Leah sighed. Wasn't that Sadie's biggest probI' n\! Doing whatever she pleased had nearly destroyed her \> 'UII14 life.

in the past Lecfh and Sadie had been like two pole beans "ii si vine, growing up under the same roof together.

What's happened to us? she wondered. Tender moments like i. >iil|,;lif's were few and far between.

Sudie rested her head on the feather pillow just so, being

11 el til not to muss her pretty braids. Tomorrow her hair bun

mill be a fairly wavy one, something Mamma wouldn't take

i"'i kindly to. Neither would Dat if he happened to notice.

Hui Leah's fingers and the gentle brush on her hair had

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soothed her greatly. Sometimes it felt like old times, as if nothing had changed. A fond return to their friendlier days of sisterhood when they had shared every detail of each other's lives.

Her chin trembled and tears sprang to her eyes. Leah had always been a true and compassionate sister, but even more dear this summer. Forfeiting her own desire to spend time with Jonas, Leah had stayed home to comfort her.

Turning over, she fought hard to compose herself, lest she be heard sniffling again tonight. She did not pray her silent rote prayers. The desire to do so had long since left. She honestly believed the Lord God had seen fit to take away her tiny son instead of allowing her to love a baby conceived in sin, and the thought made her heart cold with aching.

Yet nearly every night in a dream she was with her own wee babe, who was ever so alive. And she and Derry were still desperately in love, sometimes even married, and always completely taken with their new little one, holding him .. . cooing baby talk at him.

Alas, upon waking each morning, Sadie was hit yet again with the ugly, hard truth. She had been punished for the sin of youthful lust. More than a hundred times she had recalled that hideous night, how Dr. Henry Schwartz had kindly said he would "take care" of the baby's remains. Now she regretted there was not even a small burial plot under the shade of ancient trees. Not a simple, respectable grave marker had been given her child, no grassy spot to visit in the People's cemetery, where she could grieve openly beneath a wide blue sky . . . where she could lie down under a tree and let her body rest hard against the earth. Her precious son had come into

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m world much too early, with "no breath in him," as the IIIiir had sadly pronounced.

I Sometimes during the daylight hours it almost seemed as lu' birth itself had never occurred, though she lived with a Swing emptiness that threatened to choke her. Not having , fcliK'C to mark the date and the event made the memory of in I dark April night ofttimes shift in her mind, even distort nil, Sadie was back and forth about the whole thing some By* nIk' treasured the memory of her first love; at other times If dcHpised Derry for what he'd done to her.

I I )ften she would stop what she was doing, painfully aware Km ncwborn's whimper. Was her imagination playing tricks? me would look around to see where her baby might be. Iniild Lydiann's frequent crying trigger this? She didn't know, m the alarming sense that her baby still lived persisted no Utter where she went these days to Preaching service, to Idnh and Dorcas Peachey's house, or to any number of Eber-

II m id Mast cousins' homes. The lingering feeling haunted Iri through every daylight hour, as acute as it was bewilder-

I In spite of her depression, Sadie tried to look to the future, BfiliiK someday she might have another baby to love, one Ihi inc lather loved her enough to marry her in the first place. Pin- with no connection to the Gobbler's Knob grapevine li>! who had no inkling of her wild days. Yet to meet a nice, ll/iiMr Amishman like that she would have to leave home, I i.i in Inning everything dear to her. It would mean enduring In Jiun.

I he only other choice she had was a kneeling repentance

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before the church brethren, but how could that ever solve her problems? It would never bring her baby back, nor Derry neither one. Repenting could guarantee her only one thing: a lonely and miserable life.

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t'wli hadn't realized before just how vulnerable she felt

Iklii^ through the tunnel of trees that comprised much of

hillock. Even in the full sun of late morning, the light

M'liiiK through the webbing of leaves and branches seemed

III1 uwiiy the farther she headed into the woods.

I I--r best: stationery folded neatly and pen in hand, she

! I- < I onward, hoping to rediscover the same grassy spot

.he'd spent a sun-dappled hour a few days ago. Beneath

t I'-.ilhery shadefcpf a rare and beautiful thornless honey iim iroe, she had written one of her love letters to Jonas. l ' i once did she think she'd have such difficulty finding

i .ict location a second time, so lovely it had been. Yet It hundreds of trees towering overhead, confusing her, howlltl she?

BAl the moment she thought the sun had set prematurely m distant green hills, she came upon a most interesting W, She stopped in her tracks and wriggled her toes in the ly path. "Well, what is this?" she whispered. There, in a small clearing, a tiny shanty stood, though just

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