A Writer's Guide to Active Setting (24 page)
Read A Writer's Guide to Active Setting Online
Authors: Mary Buckham
That's an important point to remember as you dig deeper into all the ways Setting can make a difference in your writing. Sometimes you want a light stroke, as Spencer-Fleming does above: just enough to let the reader know where the character is in space and if the Setting is hampering or helping the character achieve their scene goal. Other times you'll want to use the Setting to show the reader moreâemotion, conflict, or backstory. When you use the Setting information to anchor a reader to where the events of the story are unfolding, always ask yourself how much the reader might need; don't overwhelm the reader with details you've shared already, or confuse them with too little.
NOTE
: Setting should always enhance your story, not detract from it. Be intentional when you use Setting. Be aware of why you are adding description and allocating more words.
Here's another opening from a different genre, a steampunk novel:
Down in the laundry room with the bloody-wet floors and the ceiling-high stacks of sheets, wraps and blankets, Vinita Lynch was elbows-deep in a vat full of dirty pillowcases because she'd promisedâshe'd sworn on her mother's lifeâthat she'd find a certain windup pocket watch belonging to Private Hugh Morton before the device was plunged into a tub of simmering soapy water and surely destroyed for good.
âCherie Priest,
Dreadnought
The reader doesn't know the exact time frame yet, but there are a few cluesâ
windup pocket watch, tubs for washing, wraps among the sheets, and blankets.
What this author establishes with this particular Setting is anchoring the reader into the personality of the POV character, a woman who is willing to take on the work necessary to find a particular item belonging to a soldier. The next paragraph establishes that the character is in the laundry room of a hospital and doing the favor for a wounded soldier, and the story is off and running. The reader doesn't need to know a lot about the Robertson Hospital, or which war was happening before being introduced to the protagonist. We do get, in one paragraph showing the interaction of Setting and character, a sense of the world of the story.
NOTE
: Weigh how much the reader needs to know at this moment to see if you might be writing too much or not enough.
Since the most common place a reader is tempted to set down a novel is at the end of a chapter or scene, it's only logical that the author creates a quick and subtle anchoring for the reader at the beginning of the next chapter or scene.
Let's look at the following example from a novel by Janet Evanovich. The passage is the opening to chapter five, and the reader already knows she is in New Jersey, but Evanovich finds a subtle and humorous way to anchor the reader quickly into the specific
where
and
when
through the POV of the protagonist:
Sitting in a coffeehouse leisurely sipping a latte wasn't on my morning schedule, so I opted for the McDonald's drive-through, where the breakfast menu listed French vanilla lattes and pancakes. They weren't Grandma-caliber pancakes, but they weren't bad, either, and they were easier to come by.
The sky was overcast, threatening rain. No surprise there. Rain is de rigueur for Jersey in April. Steady, gray drizzle that encourages statewide bad hair and couch potato mentality. In school they used to teach us April showers bring May flowers. April showers also bring twelve-car pileups on the Jersey Turnpike and swollen, snot-clogged sinuses.
âJanet Evanovich,
Seven Up
We're clear that it's morning, and April, and Evanovich throws in some location-specific wry internalizations from the POV character to boot, using Setting to reveal character. No slowing of the action to flatly state, “It was the next morning and rain threatened.”
Let's assume Evanovich had to build to this point:
FIRST DRAFT:
It was going to rain in New Jersey.
The reader now knows he is in New Jersey, but since this particular novel is part of her popular Stephanie Plum series, which is set in New Jersey, it's pretty safe to say the reader already knew what state they were in by this point.
SECOND DRAFT:
I was having breakfast on a typical spring morning in New Jersey.
Not only is this an example of just telling, it assumes that the reader knows what a typical morning in the spring is like in this state. We're not anchored into this scene via the Setting. Look back at the passage again and determine how Evanovich quickly lets the reader know what time of morning it is, as well as how her specific character describes the time of year in New Jersey.
NOTE:
Orienting the reader at the opening of a new scene or chapter can be short and to the point.
Three hours later, the evening shadows slanted across the park. Fifteen minutes of brutal freeway traffic and I arrived.
The important element is knowing how much information the reader needs to know at this point in your story, and that depends on how you ended your last scene or chapter.
Here are several chapter openings from Robert Crais. Notice how he quickly orients his readers and clues them in to the passage of time and change of location via Setting details, as he moves the readers deeper into his story:
Chapter 5
THIRTY-TWO HOURS earlier, on the morning it began, Ocean Avenue was lit with smoky gold light from the street lamps and apartment buildings that lined Santa Monica at the edge of the sea.
âRobert Crais,
The Watchman
Can you tell where you are, what time of day it is and get a hint of Setting that is specific to this place? Do you have an idea of the passage of time? Do you have enough images to anchor you quickly as to place?
Chapter 7
PIKE CRUISED east on Sunset Boulevard into the purpling sky, driving easy for the first time in twenty hours, invisible in the anonymous car. When they passed Echo Lake with its fountain, dim in the twilight, Pike turned north into the low hills of Echo Park. The houses would be nicer east of the park, but the twisting residential streets to the north were narrow and the homes were clapboard shotguns. Prewar street lamps were flickering on when they reached the address.
âRobert Crais,
The Watchman
Again, the reader quickly knows the passage of time in this new chapter by what the POV character sees of the light. The character is not only driving through streets that keep the reader oriented, but also showing the passage of time via commenting on the change of lighting. Crais keeps the reader in the skin of the POV character by using the Setting effectively.
NOTE:
Using change of light is a quick-and-easy reference point to show the passage of time.
Chapter 8
The windows grew light by five-thirty the following morning, filling the Echo Park house with the brown gloom of a freshwater pond.
âRobert Crais,
The Watchman
The previous chapter ends with the POV character in this house. A writer who doesn't know any better might jump to the character taking some sort of action the next morning or simply saying, “The next morning, Elvis Cole ⦔ Crais sucks the reader right back to the
when
and
where
in one line before jumping to the POV character's actions. We are anchored more deeply into the story and see the day unfolding through Elvis Cole's POV filter. That's using Setting to the nth degree.
Chapter 18
IN THE QUIET of the later night, a violet glow from Dodger Stadium capped the ridges as Pike eased up to the Echo Park house. The air was warmer than the evening before, but the same five men still clustered at the car beneath the streetlight, and families still sat on their porches, listening to Vin Scully call a game that many of them knew nothing about only a few years before.
âRobert Crais,
The Watchman
The reader is deep into the story now but the author still doesn't neglect to orient the reader to the passage of time, use sensory details, and give the reader a hint of foreshadowing by referencing sights that were noted in a previous chapter.
Chapter 19
THE NEXT MORNING, Pike was cleaning his pistol at the dining table when the girl came out of her room. Pike had been up for three hours. It was ten minutes after eight.
âRobert Crais,
The Watchman
What if Crais had gotten lazy by this chapter? After all, it's halfway through the book. He could have written:
ROUGH DRAFT:
The next morning, Pike was cleaning his pistol at the dining-room table when the girl came out of her room.
What if he moved on with the story after this? The reader would have been confused: What did the author mean by “the next morning?” Was it nine, ten, or 11:56? By starting with a relatively vague description of time and deepening it by the end of the paragraph, the author paints a picture of Setting via time of day. And the reader better knows who these characters are based on when they wake up and start moving about, as well as what they do first thing in the morning. We also receive a hint of unease here by focusing on how long Pike has been up without stating this fact outright. This is the subtext of the passage.
Here's another example, this one from a memoir, which transitions the reader from the end of the last scene when the writer went to bed. Here's how she started the next scene:
Early the next day, when the stars still stitched the velvet sky and the rooster had yet to smooth his feathers, we made ready to leave.
âDanielle A. Dahl,
Sirocco
This debut author could have written a quick and easy lineâ
Early the next day we made ready to leave
âsurmising that the reader would not put the book down between scenes, but she didn't. She dug deeper as a writer. By using two very specific, very clear indications that a new day had begun in war-torn Algeria, the reader is there, on scene, in that Setting.
NOTE:
As an author, don't assume that the reader should know the time of day, nor where the POV character is going. Give enough cues to anchor them, especially at chapter and scene changes.
When you first open a new chapter or scene, the reader needs to be quickly oriented into the story, as it's the easiest place to confuse them.
In the example below, all the reader knows is that the character has received a phone call telling him that a friend has been airlifted from an accident to an area hospital, and the character is on his way somewhere.
“I'm on my way.” Bill ended the call and pulled into Route 701's right lane, preparing to exit.
Any idea of where this character is? Do you know this is a hospital being referenced? What time of day? Season? Sense of urgency? This is the opening of the story and as long as the reader is trying to figure out the
where
and
when
of the story, he will remain slightly distant from the events of the story.
Let's see what we can do to anchor the reader more strongly into the Setting and the situation:
“I'm on my way.” Bill punched
end
on the phone and rocketed over into Route 701's right lane, ignoring the glare of the late afternoon March sun, as well as the four lanes of commuters streaming east out of Seattle toward Bellevue. What the hell happened to Steve to land him in an ICU unit?
With a few tweaks, the reader now has a better idea of where Bill is, the time of day, and a stronger sense of place, as well as of the emotion driving the scene.
Here is a bad example of a new story opening:
He stood by my car, his skin buffalo-hide tough. Faded overalls, flannel shirt, dirty boots. A Yankee's baseball cap obscured his face except for his unshaven chin.
No idea what time of day it is, where these characters are, or how long since these two characters last saw one another.
Here's a rewritten example, designed to introduce the reader to the
when
and
where
of this chapter using Setting detail:
He stood by my car, his skin buffalo-hide tough, the late-afternoon, New Mexico sun casting shadows across his face. Faded denim overalls, flannel shirt, dirty boots, his colors contrasted sharply with the subtle purples and dusty reds of the Sandia Mountains behind him. A John Deere baseball cap obscured his face except for his unshaven chin.
OR:
Morning light bathed him as he stood by my car, his skin buffalo-hide tough. Faded denim overalls, flannel shirt, and dirty boots clashed with the white clapboard cottage to his left. A Red Sox baseball cap obscured his face except for his unshaven chin. Obviously he hadn't received the dress code for Martha's Vineyard.
Now it's your turn. Look at your WIP's opening, the opening of a chapter, or pick any scene that might need a little more work to help a reader understand the passage of time from the previous location, or to anchor the reader into the specifics of where the characters are.
Look at the opening of each chapter of your WIP and read until you can point to specific hints that will alert the reader to the
where
and
when
of time passing since the last chapter. If these cues are not in the first few paragraphs, can you rewrite to make it easier and clearer for the reader to stay engaged?
If you feel you've done a solid job of anchoring the reader at the beginning of chapters and scenes, then give it to someone who hasn't read your work already. Using a few scene and chapter openings (no more than two or three paragraphs), ask her to highlight where she feels comfortable with the
when
and
where
of the Setting.