A Writer's Guide to Active Setting (11 page)

Let's look at another example, one in a novel with a shorter word count than Burke's, from the POV of a character who knows the Setting, which will play only a small part in the external plot line.

In this next example from one of my novels, we're looking at sensory detail involving a tactile description implying taste, among other senses, that's set deep into the novel and used to quickly orient the reader to a new location. Here, taste is a tactile scent implied by the quality of the air, and what's in the air that can be tasted on the tongue.

The intention of this Setting description was to let the readers know the characters have arrived in India, but I did not want to spend a lot of page space describing things, buildings, or images. The intention was to anchor the reader in the fact that the characters were now in a totally alien (to them) environment and to set the emotional feel of that change. How many sensory details did I use? Can you pick out sound? Taste? (Dust.) Feel? (Blanket of dust and dry heat.) Smells? (Animals and dust again.) Two sentences and then back to the action of the story, but the reader is now in India instead of simply seeing India.

When you think of the sense of touch in a Setting, think of one's whole body and not just the fingers or the hand. Don't tell the reader that it's ninety degrees in the shade if you can show characters fanning themselves and blotting perspiration from their faces. If your character has grown up in dry heat, have their whole body gob-smacked with the change when they first travel to a location dripping with humidity. Standing on an ocean beach you could feel warm, moisture-laden breezes, or salt-tainted blasts of frigid, damp air—two very different beaches shown simply by touch and feel.

Instead of telling the reader your character is exhausted and crawling into bed, can you show his emotional state by what he feels? There's a world of difference between finally creeping under the security of a well-loved eiderdown comforter on a cold night as opposed to falling into a creaking bed and yanking a scratchy, flimsy, paper-thin blanket over his shoulders that then exposes his toes to the freezing air.

Don't worry about sensory details in your first draft as you're juggling choreography, characterization, and so much more, but definitely think sensory in your revision process.

Think in terms of which sensory details a POV character would notice in the particular Setting at that particular time.

Texture is so very often overlooked in Setting but can act as a metaphor or quickly orient a reader to the time of day, a change in location, or reveal more information about the POV character.

The bottom line is that sensory detail can enhance your Setting descriptions and thus the readers' experience of your story in so many ways.

Avoid using too little sensory detail so the reader is held at arm's length, waiting for clarification.

The next example has more words, but the words pull the reader deeper into the scene.

Below, the writer is bringing in sensory details but it's via a formulaic approach that also creates a pronoun-verb, sensory-detail sentence pattern that the reader quickly notices. Remember to change up your sensory details and how you reveal them to the reader.

Place yourself in either a familiar Setting or a new one, but someplace you feel comfortable closing your eyes. Now see if you can describe the following:

• Sound
  
• Touch/Texture
  
• Smells
  
• Taste
  

Be specific and don't stop with just one answer—go deeper. Example: a grocery store parking lot. First sound is cars driving past or parking. Going deeper: the rattle of grocery carts, birds crying overhead, the squeal of a child released from a car, or the squawk when they're put into a car against their wishes. Tires driving over gravel-sprinkled parking lots in a wintery climate sound different than tires swishing through puddles in a rainy lot.

Now use the same Setting and put one of your characters in that Setting. What would they see, hear, feel, smell, or taste based on their POV?

OR:
Have a friend or family member do this exercise with you. Both of you in the same location, taking notes and then comparing. The one with the most details wins!

Use any two to four sentences of Setting currently in your WIP—one without much sensory detail and preferably one at the opening of a scene, chapter, or change of location for the character.

See what sensory details you can create without adding a lot more words. [
NOTE:
This may require rewriting and replacing some visual details with other sensory details.] Put yourself in the POV character's state of mind and look around. What would he specifically smell, touch, hear, or taste? Write an example of each sense, then add to your current scene. Try for a minimum of two additional details, or more if you wish.

Do you like the rewrite? Did you discover it added more depth to the story or insights into your character?

INTENTION:
To show the power of using sensory details while keeping you aware that if you change the character, you'll change which senses she uses or how she relates to the sensory details of a specific Setting.

• Thread specific sounds through descriptive details that can pull and anchor the reader onto the page.
  
• As you change your Setting, look for opportunities where you can quickly orient and anchor the reader to where the characters are by focusing on sensory details of each specific Setting.
  
• Change up your sensory details so you are not always using the same senses.
  
• By using more sensory details in your Setting description, readers will feel themselves pulled deeper into a story on a three-dimensional level versus simply a visual level.
  
• Make sure that your detail is specific to the place and specific to the POV character's awareness.
  

In strong writing there is always an overlap of craft techniques, and therefore more integration of the whole. Nothing lives in isolation. This is necessary both for combining the elements into a seamless unit and for helping you assimilate by repetition.

We're looking at very different examples in this next section, so you don't need to have read the earlier excerpts to understand and embrace the concepts here, but these concepts build on one another. They are blocks used to create a strong structure. The more you learn about writing Active Setting, the more you will be able to add depth and texture to your writing as you explore opportunities to use the material.

Using Setting to show emotion is one of the most powerful tools of Active Setting, although it is underused by many writers.

Most readers consciously or subconsciously read for the emotion of your story. They look at the cover to clue them into whether a story is humorous, light, dark, or edgy. Within a story though, emotions can run the gamut from light (happy, relief, joy) to dark (anger, fear, terror) as you lead your characters, and thus the reader, on your story journey. There's enormous energy created on the page through the conscious choice of words to ratchet up the emotions you want the reader to experience, all while the characters move through the story.

Let's jump right in and explore how some amazing authors, writing in a variety of genres, use Setting to show emotion.

In the above example, Deaver, a suspense/thriller writer, uses weather to clue the reader into the tone of the story by foreshadowing. Things are not only bad, but are looking as if they are going to get worse. Weather in Setting, along with specific descriptive word choices, is one of the easiest ways to orient the reader to the mood of a scene.

What would have happened if Deaver had not been as meticulous in his word choices?

Any emotion? No. We see clouds, but that image does not enhance the emotion of the story in any way. Look to the descriptive words being used, as many writers depend only on their adjectives. Instead of relying solely on adjectives, consider powering up your verb choices to get more emotion into a Setting description.
Clouds hunkering over the horizon
is a stronger image than
big clouds on the horizon
or
fluffy clouds on the horizon
.

Let's see another example, envisioning a rough-draft version first. The POV character is driving to the home of a young boy who has run away.

Any emotion here? We get a concrete image of the building but that's about all. So let's see how Nancy Pickard not only shows the building, but creates emotional tension on the page.

Let's dig deeper into the above example to see how the author maximized Setting to make it work harder:

Before you assume that emotion in Setting needs sentence upon sentence, or whole paragraphs to reveal the emotion or subtext of a story, let's look at how
New York Times
best-selling author Marjorie M. Liu shows emotions through specific details in a short, concise sentence. It's important to remember that if you've already established a Setting—a specific location—there's no need to extensively redescribe detail when a character returns to that location. If you look back at the Liu example used in the last chapter on sensory details, you'll see that the first experience for the reader into this area of Seattle warranted more words, details, and page space. And all of it was created with showing. This means that here, as the protagonist travels through a familiar Setting, the author can sit back and do more telling than showing.

From the Liu example in the last chapter, the reader has a strong sense of this location, so the author chooses to use specific words to describe where the character was. Then she moves on with the story.