A Thousand Kisses Deep (22 page)

She glanced at the door. He guessed she was telling him the truth about needing to get away from him. But the question was, why was the need so strong?

She surged forward, her intention to bolt past him to reach the stairs. She'd done something similar last night on the
Hector,
only today he was ready. When she was almost past him, he reached out, snagged her around her waist and lifted her off her feet.

"No!"

She swung at his head. He ducked, let her fists bounce off his shoulders as she tried to force him to release her. In a matter of seconds, he had her pinned against the stone wall.

"Let go, damn you," she shouted, slamming her fist into his chest.

He let her hit him, let her have her moment, and when she ran out of steam, he said, "We're going to do it again. And this time, I'm going to listen more carefully. But I'm willing to bet I'm going to hear pretty much the same thing I heard last night."

"No!"

"You're not going to tell me to stop, Evy. You're not because what's going on between us goes deeper than just sex."

"You're crazy!"

"Maybe. Maybe I have it all wrong. We're going to find out. Right here. Now."

"No. I don't need you! You're wrong."

"Prove it."

"I'm not weak. I can survive without feeling."

"Simon's little protégé," he taunted. She slapped him.

He slapped her back, not hard, but hard enough to let her know he was through taking her abuse. "It's too late, Evy. Like it or not, there's a whole lot of feeling and needing going on between us."

He shoved her skirt up, and pulled her panties down. Unzipped his jeans. He was fully aroused, and he braced her back against the wall.

"Tell me no."

When she said nothing he spread her legs wide and pushed into her hard and fast. She cried out from his sudden invasion, and it was then that he realized he should have given her more time, time to say no. Time to tell him what she was really feeling.

"Dammit!" He slid back and started to pull out of her.

"Wait…"

Suddenly she was clinging to him, pulling him forward and wrapping her long legs around his waist to prevent him from sliding out of her.

Kissing him, she whispered, "Don't leave me, Sly. Make love with me. You're right, it's too late. Much too late."

"I was going after the Chameleon before you came into the picture," he told her, as he flipped the fish fillets onto two plates, then brought them to the table in the galley where Eva sat waiting for him.

The sun had set an hour ago, they both had their clothes back on, and the tower in the old monastery had once again been left to the birds.

Before Sly sat, he poured Eva a glass of wine, then popped the top on a beer for himself. Sitting across from her, he said, "Bread, cheese and grilled fish. It could be worse."

"It smells delicious. I'm starving."

"You should have eaten something this morning."

"I wasn't hungry this morning."

Sly forked a piece of fish into his mouth, watching her as she cut into the fish with delicate manners. When she slid a piece of fish off her fork and into her mouth, she closed her eyes and chewed slowly. Moaning a little as she swallowed.

He grinned. "That good, huh?"

"Heavenly." She opened her eyes. "Simon is a vegetarian. There is no meat allowed in any of his homes. While I'm in
Greece
, he lets me order fish occasionally at a café, but only when he's feeling generous. As you know, that's not very often. Sometimes I dream about juicy hamburgers and fried chicken," she confessed.

Sly studied her from across the table. She had suffered on every level of her life, and he suddenly wanted to change that for her. He said, "When we get to
Paros
we'll find a place that serves hamburgers. How's that?"

She stopped chewing and set down her fork. "I would be careful if I were you. If you treat me too well, you might not be able to get rid of me when it's time."

She was looking at him again the way she had after they had made love in the tower. It was a puzzled kind of look, as if she wanted to ask him something, but wasn't sure how to go about it.

"Do you have a plan?" she asked.

He was munching on a piece of cheese. "A plan?"

"You know, what's your next move going to be? I know you're waiting for some word from your friend, but after you don't hear from him, then what?"

Sly scowled. "You don't know Bjorn. Don't sell him short. I've left two messages. One for
Merrick
and one for Bjorn, neither have responded. But there's still time. I'll try again later tonight."

"And if there's nothing?"

"Then I'll try again in the morning. If I haven't heard something by
noon
, we'll sail to
Paros
and buy you some clothes that fit."

"We could sail away tonight like vagabonds. Just you and me. We could disappear."

Her suggestion surprised him. "And you could do that? Disappear? Last night you told me you needed to understand why your mother died, and your father stopped loving you."

"I know what I said. But, maybe… You said it wouldn't set me free, so maybe—"

"Maybe I was wrong."

She leaned back and studied him while she sipped her wine. Finally, she said, "Sly McEwen wrong? Hmm … I was just starting to trust you, and now you say you're wrong."

"I said maybe. I think maybe you need to see this through."

"I think the truth is you need to see this through, and you need me to make that happen."

He reached for his beer, took a swallow, then finished his fish. Shoving his plate aside, he said, "If Merrick or Bjorn don't call, we're going after—"

"I'm not going to help you kill my father."

"Your loyalty amazes me. He doesn't deserve it."

"I know that."

"Tell me what you were hoping to find in your father's file."

She set down her wineglass, then touched her napkin to her lips. "After my mother died my father turned into a man I didn't recognize. He had no time for me. I wanted desperately to fix whatever it was that had driven him away from me, but he left me in
Atlanta
with Helen and Lida without looking back."

"The minions," Sly supplied, remembering how she had described them to Dr. Fielding.

She picked up on the word and frowned. "Do you have to keep doing that? Reciting every damn word on those damn tapes?"

"Sorry. You were saying?"

"I got to see him once a year, and I used to get so excited. So excited I couldn't eat or sleep for days. It was the same year after year. When I was nineteen, he came to take me to Simon's party. We had never gone out together, and I thought maybe he'd finally decided to take time for me. We walked into Boxwood and I saw all these people wearing costumes. I wasn't introduced to any of them. My father led me down a hall and out a back door to the pavilion. He told me to sit and wait for him to come back. A little while later he returned with Simon."

She stood and turned her back to him. Feeling she needed the distance to get out what she wanted to say, Sly remained quiet.

"I had never seen an albino before. Simon was dressed in a red suit and black cape. He looked like a vampire with his white skin and red eyes." She turned to face him. "My father asked Simon what he thought of his birthday present, and that's when I knew his love for me had died along with my mother the night of the fire. He told me I had things to learn, and that Simon was going to teach them to me. He said I was to learn patience, discipline and survival. After all, you are your father's daughter, he said. Then, he said, living isn't for the weak of body and mind. Those who master the game, master their own fate. Make your father proud. That was all, then he left. You can't know what it felt like when he walked away from me and never looked back."

Sly worked hard to control the overwhelming urge to reach for her. He had thought his stepfather had been the lowest scum on the earth, but the Chameleon had LeRoy beat hands down.

"I had no idea that Simon couldn't… That he'd been castrated. A few months after his party he became ill. An infection attacked his delicate immune system. He spent several days in the hospital, and when he came home, he was quarantined in his bedroom. One night, he asked for me and I went to his room and found him lying naked on a cotton sheet. I saw what had been done to him, and … and I was shocked, but mostly I was relieved. Since I had come to live at Boxwood I had worried day and night that part of my lessons would be Simon violating me. After that night, I settled into my new life. I played Simon's games, learned the lessons and vowed to survive all of them, so one day, when my father was ready to tell me why he had thrown me away, I would be alive to hear it. But then…"

"Then?"

"Then a year ago I started to have the dreams. Or maybe I should call them nightmares. I kept seeing my mother lying on the floor while the fire came closer, and I could hear the voices. I decided to see Dr. Fielding. Her office was close to the pharmacy and health store. I devised a plan to go there when I had to pick up Simon's vitamins and oddities. When I became comfortable with the doctor, I let her hypnotize me. It never really worked on me. Except that it gave me recurring headaches."

"What about the voices?"

She returned to her chair. "One of the voices is my father's, but I still don't recognize the other one."

"A man's voice, or a woman's voice?"

"It's a man's voice."

"So you hear him, but can't see him?"

"In the dream his head is turned. I can see that his hair is dark like my father's, with gray temples."

"Where is your mother when you hear the voices?"

"She's lying in the TV room dead."

"How do you know she's dead?"

"I can see her. She's on her side by the couch. She's not moving. The couch is on fire."

"So she was killed before the fire started." It wasn't a question. Sly's mind was sifting through the pieces, trying to fit them into the puzzle. "Where were you when your mother was killed?"

"I don't know." She closed her eyes. "I was upstairs. After supper my mother always spent an hour with me before bedtime. We were sitting together in the TV room downstairs and I remembered a picture I had drawn in school. I went to get it and when I started back downstairs I smelled the smoke. I stopped halfway down."

"Because of the smoke?"

"Yes … no. Because my father was screaming at the other man."

She started to rub her temples. "Headache?"

"The start of one."

"Don't try to force it."

"The smoke is coming up the stairs and I'm worried about Mother. She's just lying there and Father is crying and yelling at the man. The man's laughing. No, maybe my father's laughing. No, he wouldn't be laughing. I don't know. The smoke is burning my throat and I'm scared."

She shoved the plate of food aside and laid her head on the table.

Sly reached out and stroked her hair. "That's enough. Don't try to remember any more."

"It always stops there," she muttered. "My head starts to hurt and I smell the smoke, and then nothing."

"Forget it for now. We're done talking. You're going to make yourself sick if you don't think about something else for a while."

He left her at the table, urging her to eat some more while he cleaned up the galley. She joined him a short time later, and he was glad to see that her plate was empty when she brought it to the sink.

She helped him finish the last of the cleanup, then excused herself and went into the bathroom. While she was gone, he stepped into the utility room under the stairs to turn on his computer and check his message board. Seeing that neither Merrick nor Bjorn had responded, he sent a second coded message, then went into the sitting room to wait for Eva.