A Soul Mate's Promise (6 page)

Antonio knitted his eyebrows together with a look of concern. “I have never seen you have a serious relationship–you feel-a-that strongly about her in this short time?”

“I never had time to really settle down. You
know
that, Pop! I’ ve been out
saving the world
as you say. Dessert Storm, then Iraq, then everywhere that no one knows about. How could I possibly get close to anyone? I’m Secret Service. Sometimes I couldn’t trust the very people I was working with for Christ sake! Look, I’m done. They gave me a nice pension for life and job well done for the country. They
told
me I was done.”

“Do you want to be done? Son, you have made that your life’s career, its in-a-your blood. “It would be nice if I can believe you.” Antonio’s face softened. “You are forty-one years old and I would love-a-to see you settle down, and-a- Gracie, she would make you happy, but you gonna have-a-to want it. Are you done? Are you out for good?”

Sal reached out to his dad’s wheelchair and started pushing him into the house. “Come on lets get to bed,” he said. “And yeah Pop, they told me I was done…”

“Ahh, that’s-a-not what I asked you, Sal. I don’t care what they say, I want to know what
you
say. Would you still be there if-a-they didn’t tell you to leave? Is it a break or are you out?”

“Pop, I’m tired, I don’t want to talk about it. Can’t I just take one day at a time–clear my head and re-group?”

“Yeah, sure son,” Antonio said, “but you involved someone special into your world now, do the right thing.”

*       *       *

“No! No! When will you be home? Don’t leave me!!”

I was out of breath, my heart pounding. I was running, but heavy skirts surrounded my legs.

I reached for who appeared to be Sal. He was on a horse, wearing a blue coat and white breeches with black boots. He was yelling something to me. I couldn’t hear–there was havoc in the street. People were yelling, men were marching.

“Don’t go!” I yelled to him.

He circled back to me, the horse stomping all around. I grabbed the reins and he reached down to touch my face.

“I must go my love, it is my duty. I will fight for what’s right, I shall return to you, I promise!” 

I watched as he road off with other men on horseback. I knew he wouldn’t return. I felt it. I must stop him!

“NO!” I yelled, “I WILL NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN—NO PLEASE!” But he could not hear me anymore. I tripped over something, fell. I’m out of breath ….

I sit up in bed panting, gasping for air, my chest heaving.

Where am I
?.. Trying to focus I reach over and turn on the light. Toby grunted.

I’m wiping sweat off my forehead and unraveling the sheets that are twisted around my legs. By the time I’m untangled, my breathing and heart rate has slowed down.

“Whew! What a weird nightmare!” This dream seemed like more then just a dream. It still played in my mind with the paralyzing fear and choking sorrow.

I go into the bathroom to splash water on my face but before I can dry off my face, the images are back and I can smell the air, smell the horses.

Such sadness…I am overtaken by sadness and begin to shake. “Oookayyy…Gracie, I say aloud, “get it together.” I sit on the cold tile floor of my bathroom for a bit.

Toby comes in and whines as he looks at me with those big, whiskey eyes. “I’ll be okay,” I tell him with a weak laugh. He doesn’t believe me, I can tell.

I look over at the counter at my prescription Xanax. Still a bit shaky, I get to my feet, dump a pill in my trembling palm and pour a glass of water.

I go out of my bedroom door and out on the balcony, for some air. The moon is full and bright, shining on the ocean. The sea air felt cool on my skin. I take some deep cleansing breaths, still feeling strange from the dream – or whatever it was.

The pill is working as I knew it would. I get back in bed. As I lay there waiting for sleep, I still can’t get the images out of my mind. As I try to breathe through it, I recognize what I’m feeling.
It’s grief
.
Massive, inconsolable, grief.

CHAPTER 6

When I wake in the morning I’m jolted out of sleep with memories of the dream – and Sal’s kiss.

I toss back the covers and do my usual morning routine, dressing in some yoga pants, a Tee shirt and sneakers. By the time I get down the stairs, Toby’s already circling at the door.

“Alright buddy, just a minute,” I shush him as I approach. We leave the lanai and start over the little wooden overpass to the beach only to run into Sal, standing right in the middle with a hand on either side of the wooden railings blocking the way.

“Good morning, Princess.” The smooth tone of his voice makes my stomach swirl.

“Good morning, Sal,” I reply, struggling to meet his gaze.

We stand for a moment looking at each other in the pre dawn light - then he gives me that little-boy grin and snakes one of his arms around my waist and with just a little force pulls me into him.

He gently reaches up and pushes a windblown curl out of the way as he holds my face in his hands and bends his head to give me another kiss.  I totally surrender and it takes my breath away.

He pulls away and looks into my eyes. “Ready for a walk?”

I’m lightheaded and clutch for the railing.

“Whoa, Gracie, you okay?”  He puts his hands on my arms to steady me.

I shake my head to get the ringing to stop. “Yeah, I’m fine,” I whisper. “I don’t know. I got a little dizzy there.”

Walking quietly, he takes my hand. “Gracie, I hope I’m not moving too fast, but I have strong feelings for you and they kind of hit me out of the blue. I have to tell you, it’s kind of strange but I feel like I’ve known you forever. I can’t explain it.”

I look at him and smile. “I know, I feel it, too. I have a pull towards you, have since I first saw you, I think. The thing is, I’m going through a divorce, and I don’t know where I’m going to end up or where I should go. I feel like I’m in limbo and I don’t want to drag you into the mess that is currently my life.”

He stops walking, and looks at our hands, then raises mine up to his lips and kisses my knuckles. His exhale is warm on my skin.

“Gracie, let’s just take one day at a time right now. I’ll be here for you. I want you to consider me your friend and I will be patient. I have a lot of time on my hands now and I’ve got my own issues, but I have to tell you, being around you calms me. I feel centered and whole.”

I can’t believe my ears. “Really? Me? I center you?”

He chuckles. “Yes, you. Is that so hard to believe?”

“Well, yes.” I say with a shake of my head. “I guess I never had anyone say that to me before.”

“Well,” he says with that grin that melts my heart, “first time for everything, Princess.”

*       *       *

Walking back from the beach, fingers entwined, Sal says, “I hope you’re hungry Princess, Pop’s got breakfast going.”

“He does?” I laugh, enjoying my new-found peace. “I usually cook him something or we just have coffee together. What’s the occasion?”

Sal shrugs. “He felt like cooking and told me to tell you it’s something you love.”

“Oh I love everything! I say laughing as we approach the deck. Toby runs ahead of us barking and waging his tail to get into Antonio’s door. “Easy boy, Sal said. As he opened the door for him. He’s in there waiting on you.

Mio caro, good morning. I make-a-you favorite. 

“Good morning Tony! What did you cook? Is that? Oh My God you made peppers and eggs!”

“Yes! He says laughing, and some rosemary potatoes too!”

“Smells great Pop.”

With Toby underfoot, wagging and nosing around his friend Tony’s wheelchair, Sal and I help Antonio move the food from the kitchen to the table.

I roll my eyes to the ceiling as I scoop up eggs and peppers and pile them on a fresh roll. Then I take a bite. That walk over the dunes this morning landed me in heaven! “Mmm…. Tony, this is so good! I haven’t had this in a while,” I say around a mouthful of potatoes.

“It’s been way too long for me, too!” Sal chimes in. “With all the traveling I did for work it’s nice to have home cooked food. By the way, did I tell you how great your baked ziti was Gracie?”

“Thanks I’m glad you enjoyed it. I enjoyed making it.”

“Do you like to cook, Gracie?” he asked.

“Yes, I do,” I answer after I swallow more food., “But I don’t really do much of it, anymore. Cooking and baking was a good stress releaser at one time, but your father and I were both gaining a little weight and I cut back. Not good for me or Tony to get too chubby.”

“What-a-you talk?” interrupted Tony with a wave if his hand and a frown on his face. “We no get-a-fat! I enjoyed all of the food you make.”

“Thanks, Tony. You’re very sweet.” I finish the last bite of my egg sandwich and pick up my coffee mug. “I think for me, the saddest time is around the holiday season. There is no one to cook for. A house just isn’t a home if there is no one to cook for.” I sigh and look down at Toby who is laying at my feet.  I look up at Sal and Antonio who are looking at me with big, brown puppy-eyes.

Talk about dumping cold water on a great morning! I clear my throat and give them both a grin and a wink. “Can I have more peppers and eggs please?”

Sal beats his dad to the serving spoon and I hand him my dish.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound so pitiful. I was raised around a big Italian-American family. Big family and loud holidays is what I’m used to. Now my parents are gone, my brother travels all over the world with his Green Peace stuff, and any other relatives are spread out all over the country. I just miss the holiday family overload, I guess.”

Sal and Antonio nod their heads in understanding and Antonio chatters on about how his wife made all the holidays special. For the next hour we just share stories and eat, enjoying laughter and happy memories.

Sal remembered a story from one specific Christmas. He said that he and his brother Joey snooped and found their presents. Neither one of them were happy about what they were going to get, so some arguing resulted and eventually his mother found out what they’d done.

Just a little red-faced, he laughs and pokes Antonio in the arm. “She was so pissed in fact, that she made us open up our gifts on Christmas morning, then loaded us in the car with them and drove us to an orphanage. Mom made us give our presents to kids who were less fortunate.” Sal shakes his head and looks past my shoulder and through the doorway to the deck. “I will never forget that Christmas. That was one lesson I learned the hard way. Joey too. We were never ungrateful again!”

I’ve got tears in my eyes. “Wow! I love it! I think me and Marie would have gotten along great!”

Antonio nods.

“Yes, Marie would have loved you. It’s-a-too bad you never met. That would have been nice.”

I smile at my old friend. “That’s how I feel about my dad. The two of you would have been buddies for sure!”

After I helped clean up breakfast and Antonio went out on his deck with Toby, I let Sal know I’ve got to go home and check my cell phone for messages. He offers to walk over with me.

When we enter, Sal notices the twelve- foot tray ceilings and crown moldings that befit the mansion.

“Want a fifty-cent tour?” I ask. He accepts with a grin and I begin in the large foyer with the eye-popping staircase.

I show him the kitchen, the living room, the huge dining room with a table for twenty. Then the library and study, which I use for my computer.

“And this,” I point, “is the mud room.”

Sal knitted his eyebrows together. I bite back a laugh, but his expression is one of confusion.

“The mudroom? What’s a
mudroom
?”

A laugh bursts out me like a soda that’s been shaken in the heat. “I asked the same thing when I came here.  It’s a special room to take off your muddy boots or dirty clothes so you don’t drag dirt through the house-it’s right next to the laundry room.”

Sal’s eyebrows go up and he widens his eyes. “Ooh, fancy.”

“Okay, okay… upstairs,” I snarl.” I show him multiple bedrooms, a playroom and bathrooms that are never used. At the end of the long hallway we enter my bedroom. He walks in and looks around.

“Nice,” he says. “Did you decorate this room?”

“Yes, I got to do this room and the adjoining bathroom.”

He walks into the huge bathroom and turns on some lights.

“I like the colors you picked, Gracie. You have very nice taste. Plums and gold’s-I like it.”

“Thanks, Sal.”

He walks around gazing at the light fixtures. “I notice you have some lights out. I can fix those for you, if you want.”

“Really? That would be great. I don’t like ladders much and besides, it’s still too high for me to reach. I have extra bulbs in this closet.”

I show him the stuff in the closet and then show him the maintenance closet at the other end of the hall where I keep the six foot ladder.

While he’s busy, I grab my cell phone and notice I have two missed calls and a couple of text messages.

Celine called to tell me there is a Southern Woman’s Society meeting on Friday at ten in the morning to discuss the annual holiday dinner fundraiser for Children with Cancer. I find myself nodding. Although I loath that meeting with those uptight bitchy women, I do love helping to give those sick kids a great Christmas. I text Celine and tell her I will be there.

The next text is from my best friend up north, Margaret Macantire. In high school, her nickname was M&M but I’ve always just called her Mags. I’ve known her since we met in the seventh grade. My dad used to call her a Wild Irish Rose and she called him, Big Daddy. I smile at the memories of those two teasing each other.

She’s a true blue friend. Never held back to tell me the truth, about anything. She is the only one who told me not to marry Richard. She couldn’t explain why, she just insisted that something was wrong with the whole thing. I sigh in resignation. She was sure right.

Her text read:

Hey You!!! You have been on my mind haven’t heard from ya. Call me!

Maggie has always been there for me but she’s got two kids with her husband Mike, so she runs constantly. And, it doesn’t help we live so far away from each other now. But I’m feeling better today than I’ve felt in a long time, so I eagerly text her back.

Hey You!!! Miss you! I will call you later tonight, our usual hour. Be ready, lot’s to tell you!

I can hear Sal humming in the next room and I smile as I hit the icon for the voice mail. My smile disappears the second I hear his voice.
Richard
.

Grace you need to call me–NOW

I feel my shoulders sag and my stomach knot. I know that nasty tone voice and don’t look forward to calling him back.

The next voice message is a bit friendlier, but my can-do mood is gone.

Hi Gracie this is Leonard Burns. I was notified by Richard’s attorney that they received the papers I forwarded for Richard to produce bank statements and records of all his accounts since taking over the business. Now, they will try to fight this but I don’t want you to worry, it’s how the game is played, and if Richard tries to contact you I advise you to not divulge anything. I would strongly suggest that you don’t talk with him at all. Have him call me if he pushes on you. If you have any questions feel free to call anytime.

A cold, clammy sweat has come over me. The tightness is building in my chest and my breath comes in waves. I sit down on the bed and peek into the bathroom. I can see Sal’s feet on the ladder and he’s still humming.

“How’s it going?” I ask, picturing his crooked smile in my mind. The tightness let’s go a little.

“Umm, okay,” he says. “One of the bulbs broke in the socket so I’m going to need some tools to get it out.”

I take a deep breath and try to sound as normal as possible. “In that same closet should be some tools.”

“Yeah, I figured there would be,” he answered. “Not what I need, though. I already checked.”

“Well, be careful, okay? It would just stay burned out if it was up to me, so it can wait if it needs to.”

“No problem. I’ll be done in a few minutes,” he tells me. “Get your calls all handled?”

I shrug, even though he can’t see me. “Just about. Need to return one more, then I’m done.”

Then I did something very stupid and called Richard.

Richard answers by spitting out my name and I flinch. Even sadder, we both still have each other in our phone contacts. I sigh.

“Grace,
what
is going on? What the hell did you
do
?”

I take a deep breath, hold it, then let it out. “What do you mean?”