A Settler's Wife's Dreams (Erotic Romance, Romantic Erotica, Erotic Historical Romance) (5 page)

“Oh yes,” Ted panted. “That was good, wasn't it? Did you like it? Was it good for you? Tell me it was good for you, as well. Tell me I didn't disappoint.”

Ted took Lisa's head in his hands and pulled it to his chest. Lisa listened to his heart beat go from frantic to the slow and steady rhythm of someone completely at rest and relaxed.

“You made me feel so good,” she said. “Better than I've ever felt before. I didn't even know that sex could be like that. You've given me something today much deeper than just an orgasm. You've done much more than fulfill the duties my husband refused to. You've been a good friend to me and shown me how things are supposed to be between a man and a woman.”

Ted smiled down at her. “I'm glad that you think so!”

For a moment Lisa smiled, but then she blanched and held Ted at arms length.

“But how can I go back to my husband now, knowing how it's supposed to be. How can you expect me to never ever feel again like you've just made me feel? Oh, wretched am I, that I must endure his cruel fumbling,” Lisa said.

Ted look puzzled for a moment, like he was trying to think of something to say but words were failing him.

“Well, whenever you come into town we could do it again,” Ted said.

For a moment Lisa considered it.

“I don't know,” Lisa said. “We promised each other that this time would be the last time and I'm not sure I'm ready to go back on that promise. People aren't supposed to cheat on their husbands, nor are they supposed to cheat with those who are married. We both knew this but decided to go ahead anyway because you were hot in the moment and I was deep with the need.”

My husband will never be able to make love to me like you just did.” She added, “I will spend the rest of my days thinking back on this moment. Every time my husband tries to make love to me, I’ll know he is doing it wrong because you showed me how it felt when it is done right!”

“Don't say such things!” Ted said. “Surely we can meet when you come into town, and although it might not be as much as you want, won't it be much better than never feeling that way again? I want to see you again after this!”

“I know I said that I wouldn't try to come between you and your husband, and that isn't what I'm trying to do,” he said, “I'm just saying that I want to make you feel good again is all. I don't know what about that is so wrong, or why you think that is so wrong. I do not think it wrong at all.”

Lisa put her head in her hands.

“Maybe you're right,” she said. “Maybe it isn't such a sin that we do this again. Maybe God sent me down Main Street today because I was supposed to meet you and I wasn't supposed to have married my husband years ago. Or maybe this is all wrong. I don't know.”

Ted looked at her sadly for a second, but then his face brightened with an idea.

“Well, maybe we don't have to decide today!” Ted said. “Maybe we can both think about it and in the future you can decide. Because I already know I will do whatever you want. Once you make a decision you can tell me. How does that sound? I don't want to pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do or into making any commitments to me that run contrary to your own desires.”

Lisa looked up at him, her face streaked with tears then hugged him.

“You're right, you're right,” she sobbed. “I shouldn't be so quick to make a decision. There is nothing but time in this world and no need for me to rush.” Ted stroked her hair and smiled down at her.

However she knew that whatever decision she made, she knew she would remember his gentle touch long after she left for the homestead.

Lisa sat in the saddle of her horse, Jeb, headed out of town. She thought back fondly on what had happened that day as the sun dipped low in the horizon. She had made a new friend who had turned out to be much more than a friend. Although she knew that the relationship between her and Ted would never blossom as much as it deserved he was still very special to her.

Before she’d saddled up to ride out he had asked her to think about what he’d said about them doing it again every time she road into town. She’d tried to explain that she didn't come into town often. In fact the most she came in to tows was probably twice a year, but he wouldn't have it. Pressing a finger to her lips to silence her, Ted had explained that he didn't need an answer right then. She could think about it for as long as it took.

Lisa had mounted up without saying anything further, and now she was headed back out on the dusty trail. The events of the day had pushed the thought of the Indian out of her mind, but as the shadows grew long as the sun set it call came back to her—the fear, the thoughts she'd had when she'd thought she was going to die.

There wasn't much she could do now but head back home. She wasn't worried about what Frank would say at all, though. She could easily make up some kind of story where it had taken her long than expected to get the shoe on. Lisa doubted that Frank would even say anything to her coming home after dark. When she really thought about it coming home after dark from town wasn't anything out of the ordinary.

Even though she didn't expect to make the same mistake twice, she had to be careful of how she acted around Frank. And there she went again, thinking that what had happened had been a mistake. Lisa was having a hard time recalling the exact line of thought that had made the affair okay in her mind, but she knew at the time something really good had occurred to her. Whatever it had been, she didn't feel horrible about what had happened, and that told her a lot.

Things with Frank weren't going well. That much was clear to her now.

Stress from trying to keep the homestead going had taken its toll on their relationship. It hadn't helped when she hadn't been able to get pregnant. Something she didn't like to think about and neither of them brought up was how she hadn't wanted to get pregnant before they tried and then she'd changed her mind.

Lisa wondered at times if Frank blamed her. She wondered if he thought that she’d asked God to make her pregnant. Maybe that was why he didn't take his duties as a husband seriously the vast majority of the time.

Gah
, Lisa thought,
how many times am I going to go through this in my head?

That was another thing; where Lisa agonized over things she really felt like Frank just let it all slide by him somehow, like his life wasn't something he even cared to comment on. Lisa wasn't like that though, she like to chew something up, to really think it over. Motives mattered to Lisa, as did intent. Sometimes things were more complex than they seemed, but not to Frank. Frank saw the world in black and white, right and wrong. There was never any room for anything else but the opposites.

At some point Lisa realized she needed to be more afraid of being ambushed than worried about everything so she decided to focus on the road around here. The way back to home from the city always seemed liked the longer trip than the one coming into the city. For one it was mostly uphill.

For another there wasn't a city waiting for her at the end of the trip, just the homestead. However, when she'd stayed in the city for more than just a few days she'd become extremely homesick for the homestead. Even now it was hard to remember that when she'd just left Ted in the city and was headed back to Frank.

The sky changed to dusk, then to night, and the moon shown bright against the leaves of the trees. Lisa road her horse at a pace that usually would have been impossible without the moon there to give her confidence that she wasn't going to run over a log or run into something or someone.

It was hard, though, to keep from going to fast. If her confidence mounted too rapidly, with a gradient too great, she would find herself needing to rein the horse in. Lisa knew that she would be terrified beyond belief if the horse got its leg stuck in a hole and broke it.

Not only would she be terrified of the walk home, of maybe being set upon by an unseen foe waiting along the way, but of having to face Frank when she got back home. At that point not only would she have cheated on him but she would also have crippled one of their horses by not being careful enough in the dark. Frank would be furious, especially when Lisa told him that he would need to go back and finish off the horse. He would be absolutely livid that she had been too weak to do it herself.

Thinking about shooting something made Lisa reach forward and lean down to feel the rifle scabbard and make sure that it hadn't been swindled away from here when the horse had been out of her sight. She realized now how foolish that had been. She really should have carried the rifle with her to make sure that no one had taken it. The rifle was probably worth more than the horse. It certainly had just as much utility and more fight left in it.

Lisa knew she'd made a huge mistake and come up lucky that only honest people had seen it that day, or maybe that no one had seen it at all. It made her wonder if she would be so lucky in the rest of the aspects of her journey. She wondered if she would be able to keep everything straight in her head and how it came from her mouth when Frank asked her about the day. Or maybe he wouldn't. There were times he was distant as well, especially when he'd been working in the fields a lot - and that was something he'd been doing a lot of recently.

A branch cracked about twenty yards off the path, making Lisa turn sharply and peer into the darkness. She had to use all her will not to snap the reins and bring the horse to a gallop. Lisa told herself to keep it together, over and over, as her eyes tried to search through the foliage to see if anyone was out there, or if it had just been an animal stepping on something or a branch falling.

Before she had finished searching she knew that she wasn't going to find an answer out there in the darkness. Only one in one hundred times did she ever see what had made the noise, and she didn't think that this was going to be one of those times considering everything else that had happened so far that day.

“Who’s out there,” Lisa shouted. “Is anyone out there?”

There was no answer. Lisa turned in her saddle and continued riding. The night got darker as she went and her thoughts swept back and forth. She wondered what the future would hold.

Lisa stumbled into the cabin, her eyes squinting as she tried to see in the dark. Almost immediately Frank sat up in bed and a lantern came on.

“How was town?” Frank said groggily as he got out of bed and sat down at the table.

“It was all right,” Lisa said. “It has changed a lot since the last time I was there. So many people now! And there are stores full of furniture and clothes!”

Frank's face hardened for a second.

“Lisa!” Frank exclaimed. “You didn't do anything you shouldn't have, did you?”

“What do you mean?” Lisa asked.

She couldn't believe that he knew. How did he know? It shouldn't have been possible. But there it was. He could tell by the look on her face, couldn’t she? She’d betrayed herself with just the look on her face. There was no need to coach herself to not bring it up on accident in conversation, or to act to distant when they spoke, or anything like that. There wasn't any need for anything like that at all because somehow Frank knew. God must have told Frank. That was the only thing that made sense. She had sinned and God had made sure to rat her out. How else—

“You didn't open a line of credit and start picking things out to be delivered or anything like that?” He interrupted her thoughts with a chuckle. “I know how you women get.”

Lisa sat in her seat stunned. So she hadn't been found out. Her heart returned to normal as she tried not to throw up.

“Um, no, no Frank. Why would I do something like that?” She asked, her voice sounding nervous even to her.

Frank just smiled and laughed, explaining his sense of humor like it wasn't obvious enough already what he had meant.

KNOCK KNOCK

“There's someone at the door,” Lisa said frantically as her eyes snapped towards Frank. “Get the gun, quick.”

Frank stumbled for his rifle. Lisa had left hers on her horse. The knock echoed on the door again, this time shaking the wall. Whoever was out there was strong, and was insistent on them letting him in.

“Oh, Jesus,” Lisa said. “Help us! Help me! Save us from the Indian!”

“How do you know it's an Indian?” Frank asked.

Lisa realized she'd never got the time to mention the way she'd been chased into town. Or did she really believe that she'd been chased into town, or had she imagined that? No, that had been real. As surreal as it had seemed it had been as real as she and Frank were real now. Before she could say anything to Frank the door burst open and in an Indian strode, rifle leveled at his hip.

“She comes with me!”

Frank fired and worked the lever of his rifle quickly, firing again and again. The Indian fired as well. Lisa hit the ground and crawled under the table as bullets whizzed through the air around her. She saw the Indian's body jerk for a second before he slowly slid to the ground and let out his last breath.

“Make sure he's dead!” Frank yelled as he kept the rifle trained on the body.

Lisa crawled forward and checked the Indians chest for a heartbeat with her ear. She heard nothing. The Indian drew no breath and lay very still. Lisa felt the face with her hands since there was hardly any light from Frank's almost gone out lamp. She didn't feel any wrinkles or crows feet—before her lay the body of a young man.

“Oh, shit,” Frank said. Lisa looked back toward him and saw him slumped on the bed, trying with all his might to keep the rifle trained on the fallen body of the Indian.

“Are you hurt?” Lisa cried, leaving the Indian’s body to rush over to Frank.

“Yeah,” Frank said. “He got me in the chest, right through the middle. He must have missed my heart and back bone though since I'm still alive. I'm weak though, I can barely hold the rifle. Here, quick, take it from me in case he gets up.”

“It's all right, Frank,” Lisa said. “He's dead.”

Frank's head slumped down to meet his chest and the rifle clattered to the floor. Lisa sat on the bed with Frank's head cradled in her lap, wondering if there was anything she could do. She felt for the wound but all she found was a gaping, ragged hole in his back. Once she found that Lisa gave up hope. There was nothing she could do. She wasn't a nurse, and she didn't have any materials here to plug the hole in Frank's body. She’d learnt in school that puncture wounds to a human thorax made it so the diaphragm lost suction and then couldn't expand the lungs to draw breath.

“Oh, Frank,” Lisa said as she cried, rocking back and forth with his head in her lap. “Oh Frank, oh Frank, oh Frank. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.”

She cried until her eyes were dry. She cried until her stomach hurt from the retching and heart wrenching sobs. Now, more than anything else, she wanted Frank back like he had been before she'd left. All she wanted to do was sit down at the table and have Frank be whole again. She wanted to listen to him tell her about how hard it was to plow, and how much they needed rain, and how little the crops were growing. All of their hard times seemed like nothing now that Frank was gone. She couldn't imagine life without Frank.

Slowly Lisa got up off the bed and sat down at the table. For a long time she just sat there and thought about what had happened that day - the good and the bad. All the adventure and heartache that had come with a trip to the city for a horse shoe and a few nails to put it on. Who would have thought any of that was even possible?

It just seemed like a dream that she needed to wake up from, some kind of fantasy that went horribly wrong and she needed to escape. She put her head down in her arms in hope that when she raised her head back up there wouldn't be anything like there was now. When she lifted her head again she wanted it to all be back to normal.