A Seal Upon Your Heart (31 page)

“Hi honey, you look exhausted.” He placed a soft kiss onto her lips causing her to smile.

“I am. I don’t want to look at another white dress for the rest of my life.” Well…that wasn’t quite true. She looked forward to shopping for her own wedding dress. Her arms locked around his waist and she leaned in to him.

“Aww.” He said while kissing the top of her head.

“So who invited us to dinner?” She asked with a mixture of apprehension and curiosity.

“That was Jakob. You’ve never met Elaina and they are like family.”  Martier smiled at him. She liked Jakob well enough. “We’re invited to dinner this Wednesday.” He continued. It was important to him that they do this before the conference. He wanted Jakob and Elaina to love Martier just the way that he was beginning to and it was important that Martier be completely comfortable around his best friends.

“Anything, if it will get me out of shopping for wedding dresses with Dhakiya.”

After dinner and after the dishes were cleaned and the leftovers put away in Tim’s refrigerator, the couple went to Martier’s place and they slipped in a movie and kissed and cuddled on the large couch. Tim was addicted to kissing Martier. He thought about it when he was in court, when he was behind the computer and anytime he had a private moment with her he indulged in it.

Once, when the kissing had gotten especially heated, he had placed his hand on her breast. Her body had arched upward against him and a soft moan had issued from her slightly parted lips. The sound of her moans had placed him in an unbearable predicament. He wanted to take her completely. Instead he’d pulled back and had given her a shaky smile.

Anymore he never allowed himself to become overwhelmed by his desire for her. It was too difficult to put on the breaks. As much as he wanted her, he knew that he couldn’t rush into anything that she might regret later. They watched a romantic comedy that he could care less about. All that Tim was concerned with was the pretty woman that he held in his arms and her delicately long neck, and how difficult it was to stop placing soft kisses there.

Sometimes she would turn from the movie and look at him with hooded eyes and a soft smile and he would have to tear his eyes from her and focus on anything but how desirable she was.

~***~

Tim was on his private line speaking to a client and thinking about quitting time. He had so much to do before the conference next week; he had to make sure his calendar was clear and that no emergencies popped up, he had to remember to take some suits to the dry cleaners, and even though Claudette had taken Martier shopping for a formal dress he wanted to make sure that she had everything that she needed for her first New York trip.

“Mr. Bell if you’re available next Tuesday,” Tim pulled out his calendar and scanned the dates. “How about at…” His words trailed off as he looked at the date. The seventh. Today was the seventh…

“Mr. Singleton?”

Tim quickly shook his head. “Um…how is three o’clock? Next Tuesday?”

“Sounds good. I’ll see you then.”

Tim responded with something or other and then absently hung up the phone while his brow gathered. One year ago today, Corrine had breathed her last breath.

He sat back in his chair and stared out into the empty space before him. Three hundred and sixty-five days…that wasn’t really so long. Only three hundred and sixty five days ago she’d been alive.

“How did I forget…?” He whispered to no one in particular.

~***~

Does he desire you?
Martier asked herself. The answer was yes. She saw it in his eyes, felt it in his kisses…and it was obvious when his body was close to hers. She smiled knowing that if her skin wasn’t so dark her cheeks would be bright red.

Then there is no wrong because she desired him every bit as much as he desired her. She contacted the hotel that they’d be staying and then she cancelled her room.

She would give herself to Tim this weekend. The New York trip would be a celebration of
them
. She knew that it was just his sense of propriety that kept him from claiming her. This weekend she wouldn’t allow him to retreat. She would show him that it was okay to love her completely.

Martier paused. What would the sisters say? She arched her brow and placed her hands on her hips. She didn’t care one iota what they would have to say. Martier had no reservations about giving Tim her virginity. As far as she was concerned, Tim was already hers, there wouldn’t be anyone that could make her feel the way he did.

She smiled and returned to her work.

~***~

Tim had stayed closed up in his office until it was quitting time. He hadn’t even sent her out for lunch. She knew that he was extra busy and she was too. Just because they were going away didn’t mean that the cases would. Tim finally came out of his office looking haggard.

“Ready?” He asked.

“Yes.” She gathered her things and walked alongside him wishing that they could walk hand in hand the way they did when they were outside of work. In the grocery store he held her hand in his big one and she always felt secure. Even when they dined in restaurants he would reach across the table and take her hand in his. She liked that about Tim; that he enjoyed contact with her. Maybe he was starved for it. She knew that she was. She couldn’t complain. She got her fill of Tim outside of work.

They got into his car quietly and she noticed that he seemed distracted. “Are you caught up with everything you need to do?” She asked as she buckled herself in.

“What? Oh…yeah. Everything is on schedule.”

They drove in silence for a while. “What should we do for dinner? I have a chicken thawing out in the fridge-”

“Oh…Martier, I have to make a stop this evening. You should have dinner without me.” He didn’t offer more and she assumed that he had to run some errands concerning the trip, maybe he ran out of black socks or something.

“Sure, honey.”

He gave her a brief look. “Martier…today…”

She looked at him curiously and it suddenly dawned on her that something was wrong. He wasn’t just distracted or tired. Something had gone wrong. Martier held her breath.

“Today is the anniversary of my wife-of Corrine’s death.” He stared at the road as he drove.

“Oh Tim…I’m so sorry.” She reached out and placed her hand over his. “I am so sorry. Did you need to be alone?”

He nodded. “I…want to go to the cemetery. I haven’t done that yet…”

She watched him. “I didn’t know.”

“No, I never talked about it.”

“If you want to talk about it…”

He shook his head but didn’t speak. She could see that he was fighting to control his emotions. It hurt her to see him like this.

“I understand.” She said softly. She gave his hand one last rub before allowing hers to drop back to her lap. He hadn’t removed his hand from the steering wheel to hold hers as he normally would have. But she knew that he was just hurting.

Tim dropped her off at her cottage, leaning in to kiss her gently before she got out the car. She placed her hand on his cheek.

“I love you, Tim.” She had never told him that before. But she thought he should know it today of all days.

He smiled. Tim closed his eyes and placed his forehead against hers. “Thank you for coming into my life.” He kissed her again.

Afterwards she got out of the car and watched him drive away. It wasn’t, ‘I love you, too Martier.’ Still, it had been special to her.

~***~

It had cost him a great deal of money to have her grave positioned beneath the large shade tree. He’d even had them place a bench there. And as Tim made his way to the area, he was both pleased at the beauty of it and guilt ridden that this was the first time that he’d been here to enjoy it. He sat down on the marble bench and he felt older than 47. He felt older than 57. Tim felt as if he’d squeezed an entire lifetime in his relatively short life.

He allowed his eyes to take in her gravestone. It read: Forever My Love.

Tim stood up quickly and stormed away. Nothing is forever. He got into his car. There was a bar that he’d driven past. The Mad Crab had lost its appeal. Maybe it’s because the people there now recognized him for what he was; a man that couldn’t get his shit together.

Tim pulled up in front of a bar that looked like it could be host to some serious rednecks. Maybe someone would fuck with him and then he could…Tim lowered his head to the steering wheel.

“Corrine,” he said softly. “She is such a wonderful woman. I’ve been hurting for so long, honey. God I miss you. I miss your smile and your pretty fingers…” He inhaled a deep breath. “Oh Corrine.” He sniffed and sighed again. “She wears the world on her sleeve. She’s so innocent and it’s like…there’s so much to protect her from. Sometimes I feel like…she’s a gift. A second chance.” He lifted his head from the steering wheel and stared out through his window. “I had no idea that I could feel this way all over again.”

Tim sat back against his seat, not feeling the tears in his eyes, not even when one or two spilled over and streamed down his cheek. “Her name is Martier Nufaika Besigye. She was born in Rwanda and she survived the genocide there. But she lost so much…”

Tim spent the next hour in his car, telling Corrine all about Martier. He explained that she didn’t wear any makeup and she was still beautiful and then he grinned and amended that to state how lucky he was to have had such polar opposite beauties in his life. “But so similar.” His smile slipped away and he quickly restarted the car. She was waiting for him and suddenly, all he wanted was to be home with her.

He drove for a while and then whispered, “You know, Corrine. I don’t know why I can’t shake the feeling that you already know all about Martier. Is it crazy for me to think that you might have even sent her in my direction?” After all, she had come from the convent that Corinne had selected and was a part of a cause that was near and dear to her heart. And if not for her influence Tim would not have had the slightest idea of how to react to Martier.

He smiled ruefully. He was being just plain crazy right now. But he still couldn’t shake that feeling.

~***~

Martier had just turned off the lights and had slipped into her bed even though it was still early. The sun had just barely set. Tim hadn’t returned and she couldn’t seem to get it out of her mind that Tim might be having second thoughts. What if he regretted—

There was a soft knock at the door. Martier leaped out of bed and hurried down the stairs. She slept in a gown that reached just below her knees and was made like an oversized shirt. She didn’t worry about it, Tim had seen her swimsuit and that was a whole lot more revealing. 

She checked the peephole only to see Tim standing anxiously on her doorstep, still wearing his suit, but at least he had removed his tie and jacket. Martier quickly threw open the door. She practically bounced on her tiptoes with the urge to wrap her arms around him and to hug him tight. But she didn’t. She waited for him to make the first move.

“Hi, honey.” He glanced down at her attire. “Did I wake you?”

She shook her head. “I was just relaxing.” She quickly remembered that they were just standing in the doorway and she stepped aside to allow him entrance. Tim reached out and captured her hands. He pulled her to him, though he didn’t hug her. He just held her hands and watched her intently.

“I love you, Martier.”

Her mouth opened and her breath came out in a muffled gush.

“You never said that before.” She whispered.

“I know. I’m sorry.” He finally pulled her into his arms. “I don’t want you to ever doubt it, okay?” She nodded and he kissed her gently. “I love you.”