A Seal Upon Your Heart (12 page)

“You’re not going to say?”

“I took a vow.  No one is allowed to speak a word about their ways outside of the convent.” He gave her a shocked look before noticing her mischievous grin.

“Are you just pulling my leg?” He was surprised by her sense of humor, and pleased by the unexpectedness of it.

Jane covered her mouth and tried not to laugh out loud. “I hope you don’t mind, Tim, but the look on your face was priceless!” She gave in to her laughter and he finally joined her. “They’re just like everyone else, really they are.” She spent the next few minutes talking about the nuns and her favorites like Sister Callista.  Then the steak came and she took a few moments to just stare at the beauty of it.

“Okay, so why haven’t you ever eaten steak before?”

“Well, the thing that really isn’t a myth is the vow of poverty. You must give up all of your money to become a nun and so any extra spending cash is very tight. We have funding for certain things, vouchers for lunch for the girls, and clothes. But we survive on donations.” Tim became thoughtful. Had he even given to any of the charities this year? Corrine always took care of those things.

They became quiet as they ate. Jane found the meat to be delicious. She eyed Tim’s huge steak and thought it would be a miracle if he ate that entire thing.

It
was a
miracle because he ate every scrap. And she did as well. There was no room for desert and it was getting late. Jane asked the time and when he told her it was nearly 7:30 she became anxious. He quickly paid the check and they dashed through the heavy rain for the car.

“What happens if you miss curfew?”

“Well, you aren’t allowed in. You have to wait until the doors open again in the morning.”

“Well that’s stupid. What if there’s an emergency, an accident, a flat tire?”

“It’s considered discipline. By leaving you take on the consequences that you might not be able to get back in.” That had been drilled into each nun from the time that she could remember. Nuns had been locked out before and they always had a good reason for missing curfew. But there were no exceptions made.

Tim drove a little faster. He wasn’t quite sure where the school was and Jane wasn’t very good with the directions but he managed to get her home safely and soundly with seven minutes to spare.

“Thank you Tim. See you tomorrow!”  She yelled over her shoulder as she slammed the car door shut and hurried through the rain to the large foreboding building. He watched her until she was safely inside. He could see even through the bad weather that her hair was soaking wet and rain droplets clung to her dark skin. He had a strange urge to rub her dry with one of his huge terry cloth towels and strip her wet clothing off her trembling body.

He chuckled uneasily to himself. He hadn’t had a Catholic school girl fantasy in years and he didn’t want to start them now. He drove home and instead of opening a beer he changed into athletic clothes and hit the treadmill. His knee creaked and his lungs burned and he was dripping in sweat within a mere ten minutes but he hung in there. Tomorrow it would hurt again, and the day after and maybe even the day after that. But soon it would get better. Isn’t that what everybody always said?

CHAPTER 11

Sister Louise gave Jane a stern look as she met the soaking wet girl in the entrance. “We need to have a talk Jane. Please come to my office.”

Jane pursed her lips nervously and followed the sister to the office. She didn’t sit, she never did unless she was invited to. “Yes, Sister? Did I do something wrong?”

“Jane, you’ve really been cutting curfew close lately-”

“I’m sorry Sister. Mr. Singleton and I-”

Sister Louise held up her hand and closed her eyes. “The reasons aren’t important. The frequency of it is.” Jane bit her lip. “The rules are in place for a reason-”

“But I’ve never missed curfew, ever-”

“Jane, let me finish! Please.” Sister cleared her throat as Jane tensed. “The rules I’m referring to are the rules against bringing the outside influences into the school.” She reached into her drawer and withdrew Jane’s books and the Blood Diamond CD, which was merely African music.

Jane gasped and reached for the items, snatching them and holding them protectively against her chest. “You had no right! These are mine!”

“But they are in GOD’S house. So it is you that have no right! You don’t bring the world into god’s house, Jane. You know that.”

Her face twisted into one of frustration. “They are just books! And they are books of poetry! In my hands are,” She pulled them up one by one to show the sister, “The Complete Works of Emily Dickinson, The Complete Collective Poems of Maya Angelou, Robert Frost-”

Sister Louise was shaking her head. “But it’s not allowed, child. I’m not trying to tell you that anything in your hand is bad. I’m trying to tell you that you broke the rules because you rationalized to yourself that because it wasn’t ‘bad’ it was okay. It is NOT okay, Jane! There are rules in place for a reason.”

Jane clutched her books and swallowed back frustrated tears. “Then they are bad rules.”

“Child…that is just a sign that it is time for you to leave.” Jane looked at her quickly and the first tear dropped from her eyes. “If every girl brought their idea of ‘right’ into the school then the lines would blur. When you come and you go you make the girls…”

Jane held her breath.

“You make them restless.”

“I…I don’t want to go.” She finally said and hot tears splashed from her eyes as she hugged her books.

“You have to. This is not a healthy place for you anymore.”

Jane’s stomach began to hurt and she became lightheaded. “Where am I supposed to go?”

“Sister Nicolette said that you can stay with her until you find an apartment. There are also half-way houses-”

Jane’s vision blurred as the first sobs came.

“She’s waiting to take you home with her now.”

“Now?”

“Yes, Jane it’s for the best.” Sister Louise withdrew a large manila folder and slid it across the desk. “These are your documents.” Jane reached for them and clutched them as well. “Jane, I’m so sorry-”

“My name is not JANE!”

Sister Louise stood up and reached out a hand to her. “Child-”

“Do you even know my name?!”

Sister Louise allowed her hand to lower and her brow gathered. “Martier Nufaika Besigye. I’ve never forgotten your name, or the name of any child here.”

“Then why did you give me a name that had no history?!”

Sister Louise’s eyes glistened. “I have 47 young girls to care for. 47. They have no family, or their family left them behind. They are abused, starving, mentally disturbed. All I know to do is…to put those girls in the hands of God.”

Martier wiped her eyes. She would never go by the other name again. She gave Sister Louise one last look. “
You
were our God.” Then she left.

~***~

Tim felt good again this morning. He whistled as he walked down the corridor, despite the fact that his hamstrings were wire tight and there was a bit of a twinge in his knee.

“Good morning Jane.” She looked up quickly and gave him a strange look.

“Could you please not call me Jane anymore?”

“What?” There was something different about her. Then he realized that it was her eyes. It was as if someone had turned the light off in them. Also the smile that he had become accustomed to seeing was no longer present.

“Jane, come into my office, please.” He waited for her to rise then he led her into the office and shut the door. “ Sit down.” She did as he asked. He hung up his coat, not taking his eyes from her. Was she wearing the same clothes from yesterday? The bottom of her skirt was a bit dark from yesterday’s rain where her rain coat hadn’t quite reached. What the hell…?

“What’s happened?”

She thought about not saying anything but that was impossible. The words came without thought. “When I first came to the school Sister Louise told me that my name was Jane and so…that became my name. She said that Martier sounded like a boy’s name and that…that Besigye was the name of a murderer.”

“Jesus.” Tim sat on the end of his desk in front of her. “She gave you a new name? And your real name is Martier? Besigye…”

Martier nodded quickly.

“Okay…and why are you dressed in yesterday’s clothes? Did something happen?”

Martier rubbed her forehead. She looked tired. “Sister Louise kicked me out.”

“Oh my god. She kicked you out?! You weren’t late! I mean…” He reached for the phone. “What’s her number? I’m going to call that school and get this straightened out…or by god, they will never see another dime of my money!”

Tim already had the phone in his hands but Martier shook her head. “It’s not because of that and I don’t want to go back. I’m staying with Sister Nicolette in her apartment.”

“Why in the world did she kick you out?”

“Because she found the books that I had hidden, and the CD from the movie.”

Tim came to his feet while shaking his head. “Lunacy…Pure LUNACY! You couldn’t even get your clothes?” He asked angrily.

“I was so mad that I ran out with what I had.” She looked around embarrassed. “Sister Nicolette is going to bring my clothes and the rest of my things tonight.”

“Sheesh…Jane-MARTIER, if you need time to get things straightened out-”

“I don’t need to straighten anything out. Sister Louise said that St. Bartholoma wasn’t healthy for me anymore and she was right. I have to sneak and read a book of poetry? Tim, even with headphones I have to listen to the CD with the volume turned down low so that no one will hear the African drums. I can’t wear my jewelry! I’m not allowed to speak my mother tongue…and they don’t want me to remember because as long as I don’t I’m less trouble!” She came to her feet with fire in her eyes.

“They can go to hell!” She hurried into Tim’s bathroom and slammed the door. When she slowly opened it a few minutes later she had splashed her face and she wore a look of shame.

Tim was holding the blue mug filled with coffee. He thrust it to her, his face was red. “Drink this.”

“Okay.” She took a sip. “I’m sorry for…the way I acted.”

He looked uncomfortable. “Why are you apologizing? It wasn’t your fault.” He sighed. “Are you ready to start the day?”

She nodded enthusiastically. “Well you still don’t have your computer. You’ll work in my office again. I want you to contact human resources and let them know to update your name on all documents.”

“I already did that.”

“Good…Martier. And incidentally…that’s a pretty name.” His face warmed as she whispered her thanks.

The morning moved swiftly. Tim wasn’t so busy and was able to teach her to do things the way he liked them done. It wasn’t as uncomfortable as he would have thought; having her in his inner sanctum. His music played softly, and the sound of her steady typing lent a calming backdrop. He had a meeting with the partners and as he left the office and headed to the conference room, he thought about all of the things that had just so recently happened. He thought about her professionalism, her shyness, her recent rage and the way that she had laughed just last night. Lastly he considered the light in her eyes that had dimmed.