A Regency Christmas Pact Collection (39 page)

“There are many diversions in Town,” Miriam said. “One might spend weeks visiting one after another and never set foot in a ballroom.”

Northcotte shook his head, glancing at the table where his sister was playing cards. “I remember Joanna attending a ball every night of the week during her last Season.”

“I hope we are invited to as many balls.” Lady Patience flicked her finger repeatedly over the corner of a card as she studied the ones she held.

Slapping down a card, Northcotte bit out, “I believe too much expectation is put on the gentlemen who attend those balls. Why must it be assumed he wishes to marry when he accepts an invitation?”

Whatever brought that on? “Perhaps it’s due to the understanding that most of the young ladies are there for that purpose. So any man present must know he will be considered a potential prospect for a husband.” Miriam met his gaze, remembering the night they met. His friend had expected to find him playing cards that night. “Even hiding in the card room doesn’t remove one from the notice of the mamas gathered with a purpose.”

His lips thinned and stretched into what she’d call a smirk. “And there you have the reason I avoid most of the assemblies during the Season.”

“Why don’t you want to marry?” Lady Patience studied him as she spoke. “You must be at least as old as David, and he’s married.”

“I am not a good candidate for marriage, so I won’t disappoint some young lady by pretending otherwise.”

“Whyever not?” asked Lady Madeleine.

“That’s none of our business, girls,” Miriam said. “Do not ask such things of a gentleman. I’m certain your mother has told you this.”

“Yes, but how will we know anything about a man if we can’t ask questions?”

“Look for kindness in his actions, attentiveness when you are with others.” Miriam tilted her head and gazed off in the corner as she thought about the type of man she could fall in love with. A real man, not Lord Mystery. “If he is worthy of you, he’ll work hard to gain your notice. Isn’t that right Lord Northcotte?”

Northcotte jumped and cleared his throat. “I wouldn’t know. I’ve never looked for a wife.”

“No, I imagine not.” She took his measure as a strong, forthright man. “You strike me as one who’d achieve what he went after.”

His mouth turned down. “You make it sound like a contest. One prefers to think one would only pursue a woman he felt capable of loving, not the most sought after Diamond.”

She smiled, knowing how thin that argument was, even if it was her dream. How many people really found love before they married? “You know very well many marriages are nothing more than business arrangements. She needs a protector and he needs an heir, so they meet on equal terms.”

Lady Patience pouted. “I will only marry for love.”

“As will I,” her sister said.

“I am in agreement with you both.” Miriam played the final trick for the game. “And I believe we win, Lord Northcotte. Shall we play again?”

Northcotte made the mistake of taking his correspondence into the drawing room, where the others had gathered on a damp afternoon, with plans of reading and responding to it. Instead, he repeatedly found himself reading the signature with no recollection of what had come before.

He couldn’t blame the infants for the distraction, at least not directly. Their coos and laughter were quiet enough. The expression on his sister’s face when she spoke to Annie held him captive. Such joy, so much love emanated from her features.

David stood nearby tossing William into the air and catching him. The boy had such trust, laughing as he flew and crying, “More!” when his father caught him.

Stephen and Jane played nearby with Harry, helping him make a tower of blocks, only to start again when he would knock it down. They existed in a world of their own for a time, even Harry having eyes for none but his parents.

Northcotte would never experience this. He’d never know the love of a father for his son or daughter. He couldn’t let his resolve weaken and consider marriage, not with the history he and his father had. Not as long as he could so easily visualize Arrington’s ghastly pale face with its unnaturally peaceful appearance.

Stealing a glance at Lady Miriam, curled in a window seat engrossed in a book, he had a fleeting vision of what might have been—the two of them blessed with a nursery filled with blond-haired, blue-eyed bundles of energy. Peace washed over him, but he quickly tamped it down.

The peace of marriage was short-lived. And it was not for him.

Gathering his letters, he rose so quickly the chair almost tipped. “If you’ll excuse me,” he said to the room, and left before anyone could question him.

He must remain strong, or too many people could be hurt.

The next morning, the men rose early to go shooting, leaving the ladies to their leisure in front of a warm fire since the twins had returned home. The three ladies worked on bonnets for Jane and Stephen’s baby as they chatted.

“Promise me you won’t be angry if I ask something of you,” Miriam began.

Joanna looked up from her stitching. “Of course we won’t, silly. What could you say to upset us?”

“Please stop pushing Lord Northcotte to favor me with his attentions.” There, she said it. A weight lifted off her shoulders and she let out a deep breath.

“But we haven’t been,” Jane cried. “Not really.”

Miriam lowered her brow. “Do not pretend with me. It’s all too apparent. But what you don’t understand is I have history with the man.”

Joanna gasped. Jane sat forward, asking, “What is this? You never spoke of him.”

“Not by name, no. But my mother gave a name to him.”

Jane’s grin grew. “Northcotte is Lord Mystery?”

“Who is this Lord Mystery? You mentioned him before but didn’t say.” Joanna asked.

“He’s a man I was quite in love with at one time, or so I thought.” Miriam turned to Joanna and explained. “In my first Season, my very first ball, in fact, I was given the cut direct by the son of one of Mama’s friends. I was beyond mortified, certain everyone would hear of it. I knew my Season was over in that moment.”

She shook her head in the drama of the memory. Now it seemed silly, but at the time her life had been finished. “Then a gentleman appeared before me clothed in a navy superfine wool coat and fawn breeches, tall and sun-burnished, with the kindest blue eyes. And with the simple offer of a dance, he saved my chance for a successful Season.”

Jane’s laughter cut into her reverie. “Oh my, this gentleman was all she wrote about that year. She would never name him, saying he would become known when he spoke to her father.”

“Why did I never hear of this?” Joanna asked. “My brother never hinted he had intentions of marrying before father died. When did you meet him?”

“Six years ago. And I came to realize, eventually, he had no intentions towards me. I never saw him again after that night, until I sat beside him at supper here. But I was in love with that one heroic act, and every man I met that year I compared to him. None measured up.”

“How sweet,” Jane sighed.

Joanna burst out laughing. “This cannot be my brother you speak of. That is some hero in a novel. I cannot reconcile that portrayal with the man I know.”

“But he’s been kind to me here.” Other than accusing her of entrapment. “I admit I still know little of him, but I do not believe he’d be capable of doing anything cruel.”

“Oh no, never cruel. But never gallant, that I ever saw.” Joanna shook her head.

“Of course you wouldn’t see him as gallant, you are too close a relation.” Jane set her work aside and pressed a hand to her lower back. “Northcotte is a very kind man, Miriam, you are correct. Proud, and protective, too.”

“He hasn’t said anything to indicate he remembers me, so please don’t mention our connection.” Miriam hesitated a moment before continuing. Should she tell them the rest, the part no one else knew?

They would laugh at her, certainly. Yet telling them would relieve the burden of the secret. Perhaps she would finally be able to laugh at herself over this. “There is more. But you must swear it goes no further than this room.”

Her two friends leaned closer, their eyes widening, but said nothing.

“Two years ago when Grandfather Danby demanded I come meet the man he intended me to marry, I wrote a letter to Lord Mystery, or Mr. Hurst as I knew him still. I blush to think of it. I was so brazen and so childish all at once. I begged him to rescue me as he had before, since I had convinced myself he planned to ask for my hand one day.”

She looked from one friend to the other. “Yes, I’m fully aware four years had passed without a word, but in that moment I was desperate.”

“Please tell me you are making sport with us.” Joanna glanced at Jane, and both turned to Miriam.

“I wish I could say so. I don’t know what came over me to have lost all sensibility in that way. Four years without an appearance should have made it very clear he had no interest in me.”

Joanna covered her mouth with her fingertips. “You wrote to a man you’d only met once? I never heard such a letter mentioned, and I’m certain Mama would have taken notice of a letter from a young lady. May I safely assume you didn’t post it?”

“I didn’t, no. I had the letter folded, sealed, and addressed but hesitated to post it. I honestly believe I needed the solace of knowing I had taken some action, so I fully intended to toss it in the fireplace. Then I was told to go to my aunt in her sitting room. I left the letter on a table in my bedchamber, and when I returned the letter was gone. I fear her maid took it to be posted. I was so embarrassed and afraid Mama would find out, so I said nothing. Mr. Hurst—Northcotte, rather—certainly wouldn’t have written to let me know he’d received such a missive, so I will never know if he did.”

After a moment’s thought, Miriam narrowed her gaze at Joanna. “And don’t you dare ask him.”

Jane’s shoulders shook with restrained laughter, and Joanna’s face had turned red. A giggle burst from her lips and she drew in a breath. “Forgive me. Please, forgive me. Your tale is too scandalous to be true! I never knew you to be so…so inappropriate.”

“I wish it weren’t true.” Miriam set down her sewing. “Can you see why I have no wish to be thrown together with your brother? I’m afraid anything I say will cause him to recall that letter and recognize me for the brazen girl who wrote it. I am so grateful he wasn’t at any other assemblies I attended that first Season, or I might have truly been chasing Lord Mystery, as my mother often teased.”

Jane wiped her eyes with her handkerchief, her laughter overwhelming her for a moment. “In a way, it’s rather sad. If you truly ignored the attentions of other men because you were waiting for Lord Mystery to reappear, there is no way of knowing if one of them might have been a suitable husband for you.”

Grimacing, Miriam shook her head. “But I have no wish for a suitable husband. My grandfather likely has pages of suitable men listed for his granddaughters. I want passion, romance. I want what you both have. I want love.”

Northcotte shouldered his rifle and fired into the air. The pheasant dropped to the ground in a flurry of feathers.

“Nice shot,” David said.

“But next time, warn me when you plan to fire next to my blind side.” Stephen tugged at his ear, where the flesh was still lumpy and red after so many years.

“Forgive me.” Northcotte stepped around to look into Stephen’s good eye. “I forget you have limitations.”

Stephen’s lips pulled back on one side in a grin. “I forget, too, then I glance in the looking glass and receive quite a shock.”

Northcotte couldn’t imagine losing an eye and the hearing in one ear. He didn’t consider himself to be narcissistic, but he wondered how long it took a man to adjust to seeing a new face when he shaved. He’d never realized how blessed his life had been, no matter what struggles he’d faced after his father killed himself over his financial losses. He shook off that line of thought. “Where’s that retriever of yours? I shouldn’t have to go after my own birds.”

“It would appear you have birds chasing you,” Stephen said.

Northcotte stopped and looked back at the other men. “What do you mean?”

David coughed into his fist. “I believe he’s referring to his wife’s guest.”

“Do you mean to say she instigated the sleigh ride? I thought it was Jane’s scheming ways. Lady Miriam specifically said she did not come here seeking marriage.”

“She said that, did she?” David’s laughter rang out in the light mist. “It is certain she’s working with Jane, then. No woman would bring up such a topic on her own.”

“She might if it were all a ruse to make her appear innocent.” Northcotte stomped his feet to knock off the built-up mud. “My feet are growing damp. Have we played at being country gentlemen long enough to return?”

David smacked him on the back. “You wouldn’t be eager to return to a certain young lady, would you?”

“If my sister wasn’t so fond of you, I’d have your hide for suggesting such a thing.” He hefted the bag of bird carcasses over his shoulder and followed their footprints in the muck, not caring if the others followed him or not.

“It’s time we return to the house. We have an invitation to dine with Sir Walter and Lady Cooper,” Stephen announced.

“You aren’t taking Jane out calling this close to her time, are you?” David asked.

“No, she and I will remain at home. The four of you will be going.”

Northcotte closed his eyes. How delightful. He would be required to spend an entire evening acting the proper escort. “I do hope this isn’t another of Jane’s machinations to put Lady Miriam and me together.”