A Plain and Simple Christmas (5 page)

A
nna Mae clutched the letter and sank into the kitchen chair. Tears filled her eyes as she studied the words written in Kathryn’s beautiful cursive writing.

Dear Anna Mae,

I hope this letter finds you and Kellan well. Please know you’re in my daily prayers.

As I’m writing to you, my heart is filled with excitement. After we talked last week I prayed and asked God to show me a sign that I was doing His will by helping you plan a trip here for Christmas. The next day I received the message from God that I’d been hoping for when your mamm came to visit me at the bakery.

Anna Mae, your mamm shared with me that you’ve been on her mind and in her heart for some time now. She said she thinks of you constantly, wondering if you’re gut and froh with your life in Baltimore. She shared with me that she would love to see you, and I know that’s what God would want.

Today I attended church at your sister Vera’s home, and I spoke to her about your possible visit. Vera was
excited and told me that having you visit would be a wunderbaar way to help bring the family back together. She said that while the visit may be strained at first, having you here would begin to mend fences.

I’ve arranged for you and Kellan to stay at the Paradise Inn Bed and Breakfast from December 22–24, checking out on Christmas morning. You are welcome to have dinner with us that first night, and from there we will make arrangements to see the rest of the family. Please let me know if that will be convenient for you.

I’m keeping your visit a secret. Only my mamm Amanda, and Vera know that you’re planning to come, and we’ll keep it to ourselves until you get here. As I said above, I know that your initial arrival may be awkward, but I’ll be by your side to help work through that. Once your parents see you and find out that you’re expecting a baby, they will be willing to work things out in order to have you, Kellan, and the baby in their life.

I can’t wait to hug you and talk to you in person.

In His Name, Kathryn

She reread the letter and sniffed, tears flowing from her eyes.

“Annie?” Kellan crossed the kitchen and crouched beside her chair. “Honey, what’s wrong?” He wiped tears from her hot cheeks with the tip of his finger.

“Mamm
misses me,” she whispered, holding out the letter to him. “She misses me like I miss her. And my sister Vera wants to see me too. I miss my sisters so much.”

While he read the letter, Anna Mae rubbed her abdomen and lost herself in memories of her family—the delicious smell of freshly baked bread in her mother’s kitchen, the roar of her brother and cousins roughhousing in the yard, the
clip-clop
of horses coming up the lane with buggies packed with visitors. She wanted her child to experience all of that—all she loved and missed about being Amish.

Kellan met her gaze and kissed her cheek. “I’m so happy for you. I hope this visit gives you the peace and love you need from your family. If God sent Kathryn a sign, He is also sending us a sign that we need to go.”

“Thank you! I’m so glad you agree!” She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he shifted his weight and chuckled.

“You’re going to sweep me off my feet again, Annie.” He took her hands in his and smiled. “You nearly knocked me over.”

“I’m going to write her back tonight and tell her that we’ll be there on the twenty-second.” She hoisted herself from the chair and crossed the kitchen. “I only have a couple weeks until we go. I have so much to do.” She fished a notepad and pen from a drawer and began a list. “We’ll have to bring gifts for all of the children. I’m not quite sure what, though.” She jotted down ideas for gifts, including candies and small toys.

“Gifts for all of the kids?” Kellan stood behind her. “How can we buy for all your relatives, Annie? Aren’t there hundreds of kids now?”

Glancing up, she laughed. “I don’t expect hundreds, but, yes, there are many children in the Beiler family. And I’ll bring them little gifts, like candy and small toys. Don’t worry; I won’t break our budget. I’ll visit the Dollar Mart in
town after my quilting circle meeting.” She jotted a few more things down on the list and then looked up. “Maybe we can run to the store tonight after supper. I think they’re open late, and I’ll need your help with the bags.”

A smile spread across his lips. “I have an idea. How about we go to our favorite steak place and then go shopping?”

“Steak and shrimp?” She glanced down at her abdomen. “How does that sound, Butterbean?”

“Butterbean?” Kellan raised an eyebrow.

“I thought it was a cuter name than Lug Nut. I think Lug Nut sounds like a boy, and Butterbean could be a boy or a girl.” She rubbed her belly. “Let me get my purse and we can head out.” She kissed his cheek on her way to the hall.

Her heart skipped a beat as she thought of seeing her family again. She couldn’t wait to hug her mother, Kathryn, and her sisters. And she hoped her father would be happy to see her too.

Thursday evening, Kathryn slipped the letter into her apron pocket and pulled plates from the cabinet in preparation for supper. A smile turned up the corners of her lips as she placed a bag of rolls onto the table. In less than two weeks, she would see her sister-in-law for the first time in three years, and her visit would bring the Beiler family together once again. The plan would come together solely due to Kathryn’s efforts. If she were a proud person, Kathryn would gloat.

The letter outlined Anna Mae’s plans. She and Kellan would check in at the Paradise B&B the afternoon of Wednesday, December 22, and have dinner with Kathryn
and her family that night. Depending on how they were received, they would stay till Christmas, visiting and reconnecting with family and friends.

Kathryn’s smile deepened. Mary Rose, Vera, and some of the other relatives would be ecstatic when they saw Anna Mae, and they would have Kathryn to thank for it.

But how would David feel about her going against his wishes? Would he feel betrayed? Her smile transformed to a frown, for she knew the answer to those questions. David hadn’t mentioned Anna Mae since their last strained conversation. He would certainly be angry when Anna Mae arrived at their home, but she believed in her heart that he would forgive her soon after seeing his sister.

The back door squeaked open, revealing David entering the kitchen. He crossed the room to the sink and washed his hands. “The
kinner
are on their way in from the barn.”

“I bet they’re hungry,” she said, placing a block of cheese on the table. She then grabbed a pot of soup from the stove. “I made some chicken noodle soup. It’s cold out there,
ya?”

“Ya,”
he said, drying his hands. “It’s hard to believe
Grischtdaag
is only a few weeks away. The boys were just discussing what gifts they hope to find on the table Christmas morning. It feels like only yesterday it was summer. Where did the year go?”

“I don’t know.” Kathryn grabbed a stack of bowls. “It seems like the years pass by quicker, the older we get.” She yanked open the drawer and reached for a handful of spoons and then placed the bowls and utensils on the table.

He snickered.
“Ya.
Some days I feel eighty instead of almost forty.” Stopping her on her way back to the table, he
pulled her into his arms and brushed his lips across hers, sending her stomach into a wild swirl. “But then you make me feel young again.”

Kathryn wrapped her arms around his neck and inhaled his scent, earth mixed with soap.
“Ich liebe dich,
David.”
And please forgive me for planning your sister’s visit behind your back.

He took her face in his hands and his eyes were full of love. “Katie, I thank God for you and our
kinner
every day. This year I’m most thankful for you and our life together.”

She swallowed as the guilt of her secrecy rained down on her, then forced a smile.
“Danki.
I thank God for you daily too.”
And I hope you’ll still trust me after Anna Mae’s visit.

His eyes studied hers. “You all right?”

“Ya.”
She turned toward the counter. “I was just thinking about everything I need to do before
Grischtdaag.
I must get to the market. I’ll need to see if Nina Janitz can take me shopping.” She rooted around in a drawer in search of a notepad and a pencil. “I have to make a list.”

“Katie.” David took her hands in his. “Look at me.”

She met his gaze, her heart pounding with a mixture of guilt and anxiety.
“Ya?”

He traced her face, from forehead to chin, with his fingertip.
“Was iss letz, mei liewe?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” she said, her voice quavering.

His brown eyes continued to probe hers, and her mouth dried. How was it that he could read her so well? She searched for something to say to change the subject.

“I wonder what’s taking the
kinner
so long,” she said. “Should you go check on them? Amanda and Lizzie are upstairs
working on a sewing project. I’ll go call them again.” She started for the stairs, and he took her arm and pulled her back.

“Wait,” he said, looking concerned. “If something is bothering you, you can tell me. There should be no secrets between a man and his
fraa.”

She sighed. She had to tell him the truth, and now was the appropriate time. “David, I just wish you would reconsider your thoughts on Anna Mae’s visit.”

His concerned look transformed to a grimace. “I told you that this subject was closed. We’ll go visit her in the spring. Now, please drop it.”

She scowled. “Why can’t we discuss it? Why must you tell me when the subject is closed without my input?”

He raised his hand to his temple, pinching his forehead. “I’m tired of having this argument, Kathryn.”

She jammed her hands on her hips. “I am too. I want you to listen to me. I think it’s a
gut
idea. Christmas is the best time for a family reunion. Why can’t you even consider it?”

He gritted his teeth. “Because I know how painful it will be for my parents, and I don’t want to ruin Christmas for them. It would be more appropriate if we waited until spring to visit Anna Mae and Kellan. Once we visit with them, then we can pave the way for my parents to see them. I know what’s best for my family, Kathryn.”

“You do?”

“Mamm? Daed?”
a little voice asked. “Why are you fighting?”

Kathryn turned to find Lizzie standing in the doorway, her brown eyes wide with fear. Amanda moved up behind
her and placed her hand on Lizzie’s shoulder, and Kathryn’s heart sank. She’d managed to scare her daughter by arguing with David.

“Everything’s fine,” Kathryn said. “Dinner is ready.”

The back door opened and slammed with a bang, and David Jr., Manny, and Ruthie marched into the kitchen, chattering away about Christmas and what toys they hoped to receive while hanging their wraps and coats on the pegs.

“Wash up, please,” Kathryn said, feeling David’s eyes boring into her. Ignoring his stare, she brought a pitcher of water to the table. “Did you and Lizzie finish that dress you were working on?” she asked Amanda.

“We’re almost done,” Amanda said, placing cups at each table setting while Lizzie distributed the plates and bowls. “Lizzie is doing a
wunderbaar
job. She’ll be making her own dresses soon.”

David glared up at Kathryn while she poured water into his cup and she averted her eyes by concentrating on not spilling. Once the table was set, Kathryn sat between Amanda and Lizzie while the rest of the children took their spot at the table. David gave her one last hard look before bowing his head in silent prayer. A chill of worry coursed through her.

Kathryn bowed her head. She thanked God for the wonderful blessings of her family and home and then she asked Him to guide Anna Mae’s visit. She prayed the Lord would open her father-in-law’s heart so he would welcome Anna Mae and Kellan home to Lancaster County.

But most of all, she prayed that David would forgive her and understand why she defied his wishes and helped plan Anna Mae’s trip.

T
he days before Christmas flew by in a blur of shopping, baking, and chores, so Kathryn rarely had a spare moment to think about Anna Mae’s visit. The week of Christmas finally arrived, and Kathryn rushed around the kitchen Monday evening preparing supper. While a ham loaf baked in the oven, she placed a pot of mixed vegetables on the stove and then turned to Amanda, who was busy peeling potatoes. “Are the boys outside doing their chores?”

“Ya.
Lizzie and Ruthie are upstairs cleaning our room,” Amanda said, her pretty face scowling.
“Mamm,
I wanted to speak with you about something in private.”

Kathryn raised her eyebrows with curiosity while wiping her hands on a towel. “What’s on your mind?”

Amanda glanced across the kitchen. “I don’t want anyone to hear us.”

“You just said that the boys were outside and your sisters are upstairs, so I’m certain we’re alone.” Kathryn leaned against the counter.
“Was iss letz?”

Amanda glanced back toward the door. “Let’s go into the
schtupp.”

Kathryn followed her into the family room and stood near the doorway. “What’s bothering you?”

Amanda lowered her slight body onto the sofa.

“I’m worried about what’s going to happen this week.” Amanda wrung her hands.
“Daed
might get really angry that
Aenti
Anna Mae is coming.”

Kathryn smiled. “Everything will be fine once he sees his sister. Trust me.” A door closed, and Kathryn assumed the boys had come in from the barn.

“But he should know the truth.” Amanda’s eyes were full of determination.

“Ya,
you’re right.” Kathryn nodded. “He’ll know the truth soon enough. It’s going to be a surprise.”

“I think you’re wrong not to tell him. I feel like I’m holding in a horrible lie by not telling
Daed,
and lying is a sin.” Amanda shook her head. “I think
Daed
has a right to know that
Aenti
Anna Mae is coming—” She stopped speaking and her eyes grew wide while her cheeks flushed a deep rose.

“What did you say, Amanda Joy?” David’s gruff voice rumbled from behind Kathryn, causing her to jump.

Kathryn spun around and her mouth dried. David was glowering at her from the doorway.

“What did Amanda say about
mei schweschder?”
he asked, his brown eyes slicing through her with indignation.

Kathryn inwardly shuddered. Feigning indifference, she kept her expression serene. “She was discussing when our company would arrive,” she said, standing up straighter and mustering all of the courage she could find inside herself. “Amanda was telling me that she thinks you have a right to know that Anna Mae and Kellan are going to join us for
Christmas this year.” The truth was now out in the open. She felt a mixture of relief and anxiety at the opportunity to finally say the words out loud.

David’s expression hardened. “Kathryn, how many times do we have to discuss this?” His voice was low and full of frustration and fury. “I’ve already told you that I am against this visit. I can’t think of how I could make it more clear to you.”

“You’ve made yourself perfectly clear. However, the plans have been made.” She looked at Amanda, who was studying her hands in her lap. “Amanda, our company will arrive sometime Wednesday afternoon.”

Amanda met her gaze with a worried expression, and Kathryn smiled, hoping to calm her. Ruthie and Lizzie entered the family room with wide smiles on their faces.

“Company?” Ruthie asked.

“Who’s coming?” Lizzie chimed in.

“Your
Aenti
Anna Mae and
Onkel
Kellan from Baltimore are coming to spend Christmas with us,” Kathryn said, ignoring the feel of David’s angry stare boring into her.
“Aenti
Anna Mae is your
dat’s
youngest
schweschder.”

“The one who was shunned?” Ruthie asked.

“Ya.”
Kathryn nodded. “That’s right.”

“Are they staying here?” Lizzie asked while sinking down onto the sofa next to Amanda.

“They can sleep in my bed with me,” Ruthie said, walking over to Kathryn.

Kathryn smiled. “That’s very thoughtful, Ruthie, but they’re staying at a bed and breakfast in Paradise.”

“But we’ll see them,
ya?”
Ruthie asked.

“Ya,
we will see them,” Kathryn said. She pushed a lock of hair back from where it had fallen from beneath her prayer
kapp
while avoiding David’s eyes. “They’ll be visiting for a few days.”

“Kathryn,” David said, his calmness forced. “Kathryn, please look at me.”

“Ya.”
She turned to him, finding disappointment and hurt reflecting in his eyes. Guilt and determination battled inside her. While she knew keeping the information from him was wrong, she was certain she was doing God’s will. God was using her to heal the family, and David needed to understand that.

His frown deepened. “We will discuss this later at length.”

Kathryn nodded while forcing a smile. “I’m certain we will.”

“Call me when supper is ready,” David said, stomping through the family room toward the stairs.

Kathryn glanced at Lizzie. “Would you and Ruthie please set the table?” While her two younger daughters headed for the kitchen, she turned to Amanda. “Now he knows.”

Amanda nodded, her cheeks still glowing red. “He was very angry. I made it worse, didn’t I?”

Kathryn shook her head. “No, you didn’t make it worse, but this wasn’t the way I wanted him to find out.”

Amanda’s lower lip quivered, and her eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry,
Mamm.”

Kathryn touched Amanda’s arm. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You were right to talk to me about it if it bothered you.”

“I didn’t know he was standing there until it was too late,”
Amanda said with a sniff. “He must’ve come in quietly and heard us talking.”

“I’m certain he did.” Kathryn gestured toward the door. “Come help me make the dumplings. The ham loaf smells like it’s almost done.”

Amanda stood and walked with her toward the kitchen. Kathryn was certain that David would be quiet during supper and leave the discussion of Anna Mae’s visit for bedtime. Dread filled Kathryn at the thought of facing him. She hoped David would understand why she’d gone against his wishes.

Kathryn ran a brush through her waist-length hair and studied her reflection. Clad in her nightgown, she glanced toward the door for the fourth time. The clock on the wall told her it was nearly nine, David’s daily bedtime.

He’d barely spoken to her during supper and had only given terse answers to her lame attempts at fostering a conversation. Instead of conversing with her, he’d spoken to the children about their day. After supper, David had disappeared outside with Junior, which they often did in the evenings. However, she’d heard Junior come back into the house and disappear into his room awhile ago, but she’d not seen David.

Stepping over to the window, she moved the dark green shade and peeked outside. The barn and backfield were dark with no sign of a lantern.

The bedroom door squeaked open and banged shut, and Kathryn jumped with a start.

“Sorry,” David mumbled, scowling. “I didn’t mean to
slam it.” He stepped over to his bureau and pulled off his suspenders.

Her heart pounded as she sat on the edge of the bed. “Where were you?”

“In the barn,” he muttered, shucking off his shirt.

She pushed an errant lock of golden blonde hair behind her shoulder. “What were you doing in the barn?”

“Thinking.” He changed into his pajama pants. “Actually, trying to figure something out.”

The tension between them was suffocating her. She had to apologize to him and make things right. She took a deep breath. “David, I—”

“Would you like to know what I was trying to figure out?”

“David, please—”

He stood before her and held a hand up to keep her from talking. “Let me finish.”

Knowing she wasn’t going to earn a chance to speak her mind, Kathryn crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Go on.”

“I was trying to figure out why you would go behind my back and do something I’d asked you not to do, especially after we’d discussed it several times.” Still glowering, he pulled up a chair and sat before her. “I’d asked you not to invite Anna Mae. I told you, no I
promised
you, that we would visit her this spring. I also said that once we visited her and Kellan, we would make plans for her to come back to the community to visit the family. From what I remember, you said that would be a
gut
plan.”

Kathryn opened her mouth to defend herself, and he again held up his hand to stop her.

“Please let me finish.” He sat up straight. “What I’ve been trying to figure out is why you went against my wishes. What makes it even worse is that you not only broke a promise and went behind my back, but you involved our
kinner
in your lies.” He shook his head, disappointment clouding his handsome face. “What hurts the most is that you lied. In our fifteen years of marriage, I never once lied to you or went behind your back. You’ve always been the one person I’ve trusted most, the one I knew I could count on.”

Shaking his head, he paused. “Now, I’m trying to figure out who you are. The
maedel
I married would have never lied to me, not like this. You knew how serious I was about this and how much I was against inviting Anna Mae home during the holidays. This is going to cause a huge blowup with my
daed,
and I’m not prepared to deal with that.”

The knot forming in her throat choked off her words for a moment. She cleared her throat before she tried to speak again. “David, I’ve never lied to you before,” she began, her voice trembling with guilt. “You’re the most important person in my life, aside from our
kinner.
You know that and you know me.” She pointed to her chest. “You know my heart.”

“But we talked about it over and over again. I told you more than once that it was not a
gut
plan. We decided that we would wait until spring. Why did you go back on your word?”

“I never agreed to spring.” She reached for him, and he stood, backing away from her touch. “David, will you let me explain?”

Folding his arms, he leaned back against the wall and scowled. “I’m listening.”

She stood in front of him. “I know in my heart that what I’m doing is right. It’s God’s will that Anna Mae and Kellan are coming here.” She took his hand in hers. “God spoke to me.”

He raised an eyebrow with curiosity. “What do you mean?”

“I prayed about it and asked Him to give me a sign.” Hot tears spilled from her eyes. “The very next day, your
mamm
came to the bakery and told me she’s been thinking of Anna Mae and Kellan and wondering how they’re doing. She was near tears and said she longed to see Anna Mae again. She said she had to know if Anna Mae was happy with her life with Kellan.” She squeezed his hand. “That was the sign from God I needed. That was how I knew what I was doing was right.”

He considered her words and his frown deepened. “A sign from God?” He snorted with disbelief. “I don’t know about that, Kathryn. God has a plan, and it’s His plan. He doesn’t need to send us signs.”

“Ya,
He does! You have to believe me. I never meant to hurt you and I don’t want to ever lose your trust in me.” More tears splattered her cheeks. “Can’t you see that? Can’t you see I did this for you and our family? This is what God wants me to do.”

“I don’t believe God has to send us signs for us to do His work. His rules for how we should live our lives are contained in the Bible. Whether you believe He sent a sign or not doesn’t matter. You deliberately went against my wishes, and I’m angry and hurt.” His expression remained hard as stone. “Why did you keep your secret from me?”

“I followed my heart because I didn’t want you to talk me out of it. I wanted to do it, no matter what you said.” She cleared her throat. “I wanted to do it for Mary Rose. I can’t imagine how I would feel if one of our
kinner
had moved away and left the community. I would worry about her too. Your
mamm
has a right to meet her future grandchild.”

He shook his head. “That’s not for you to decide. Now Christmas is going to be a disaster.”

“That’s not true.” Kathryn wiped her tears. “Vera agrees that this visit is a good idea too. She thinks it’ll be good for your parents.”

His eyes widened. “You told Vera?” He frowned. “Who else have you told?”

“My mother knows too,” she whispered.

He threw his hands up. “Why don’t you just paint a sign on the side of the barn so that the whole district knows!”

“David,” she hissed. “You’re going to wake the
kinner!”

“Why not tell them too?” he continued, his voice booming off the walls. “The rest of the district already knows.” He started toward the door. “I’ll go tell my father now.”

“David!” Kathryn rushed after him and pulled him back. “Now you’re acting
narrisch!”

“I’m
narrisch?”
He snorted with sarcasm. “I’m not seeing signs from God involving everyone but my spouse in secret plans.” He shook his head. “I especially don’t like that you involved Amanda. I don’t want you to teach our
dochdern
to defy their future husbands.”

Kathryn shook her head. He didn’t comprehend her motive, and she couldn’t think of anything else to say to try to
get through to him. “You don’t understand why I did this at all, do you?”

“No, I don’t.” He folded his arms across his wide chest. “What will this visit entail? I know she’s arriving Wednesday and staying in Paradise. What else have you planned without my knowledge?”

“We’re hosting them for supper Wednesday. Thursday night we’ll also invite your parents.”

He raised an eyebrow. “I’m sure your mother supports all of this.”

“She also believes it’s God’s will for our family to heal.” She reached for his arm, but he stepped away from her touch. “I truly believe that, David. That’s why I did it. My best intentions were for our family. I didn’t want to cause you to be upset with me.”