A Necessary Sin (10 page)

He grasps my hips and slides me closer to the edge of the desk. He presses his body into mine and I feel how hard he already is. “Ask and you shall receive.”

I glide my hands up his arms as his mouth meets mine. He holds the backs of my knees and bends them, bringing my legs to wrap around his waist. He presses his groin against me, hard.

His mouth abandons mine to move down my neck as he palms one of my breasts in a circular motion. My nipples grow hard.

I really want to be out of this dress. It’s in the way so I grab the bottom and drag it over my head, throwing it onto Sin’s office chair. He echoes my motion by removing his shirt. I slide my panties down as he pushes his trousers to the floor. I unfasten my bra while he gets out of his pants. It’s perfect timing on both of our parts.

He pats the desk. “I want you right here.”

I scoot back onto my assigned seating, legs dangling. He sits in his chair and rolls toward me. “This is my office and I’m a busy man, Miss MacAllister. I have a lot of work to do.” He puts his hand between my breasts and drags it down my chest and stomach until his fingers threaten to touch me, but don’t.

Does he want me to ask him to touch me? Because I will.

“Lie back, bonny one.”

I’m lowering my upper body onto the desk when he grasps my feet and pushes my legs back and apart. I tremble with an impatient desire to be touched. I anticipate his fingers entering me at any second. But they don’t. I’m considering begging when he moves my legs so they’re draped over his shoulders, his head between my legs. My mind hardly has time to register what he’s about to do when I feel the flutter of his tongue. I jolt, just as I did the first time he touched me there.

I could have never guessed it would feel like this. Just as I grow accustomed to one motion and rhythm, he stops and changes to a completely different speed and direction. It’s a guessing game as to what he’ll do next and how it will feel. I only know he’s going to bring me to orgasm very soon.

Sin inserts his fingers and slides them in and out while he uses his mouth to form a suction over my clit. I instinctively lift my hips from the desk in a rhythmic, rocking motion. My back arches and I tense when the quivering begins in my pelvis. He sucks harder and it’s almost more than I can stand. “Ohh … uhh.”

My body shudders around his fingers, squeezing them. My womb flutters rhythmically for several seconds before it’s finished and a pulsating warmth spreads through my body. I tingle in my face, hands, and feet.

Sin comes up to hover above me so he can see my face. “I hope that was good for you.”

“The best ever.” I repeat the words he said to me the night he took my virginity.

“Good. I want it to always be the best.” He grins and grabs my hands to help me to a sitting position. “Can I kiss you?” I nod—not understanding why he thinks he’d need to ask. But then I understand his meaning when he brings his mouth to mine. Hmm … I’m not sure I’m crazy about that, but I suppose it’s tolerable considering the orgasm he gave me.

The song ends and another begins. This one I recognize. “You like Pearl Jam?”

“Aye.”

“Me too.” The song emanates an entirely different feeling.

“Sirens” plays as Sin’s hands glide up my thighs and bring them around his waist again. He’s moving back and forth, his erection rubbing against me. “The last thing you told me was no more condoms.”

“Mmm … hmm.”

“Is that still what you want?”

I grab his face and bring it to mine so we’re eye to eye. “That’s exactly how I want you.”

“I’ll never deny you of the things you want.” He situates himself at my entrance. “I’ve claimed you. That means it’s my job to give you everything you want.” He pulls my hips against him as he enters me. I put my arms up over his shoulders and press my body to his while moving with him.

Skin on skin. I’m not experienced but even I recognize the difference. It’s a more pleasurable feeling but it’s so much more than that. I feel a kind of connection I didn’t experience the other times. I gave a part of myself to Sinclair Breckenridge before. Now, he’s taking all of me.

He moves his fingers to where we become one and massages the sensitive spot above our connection. I press my forehead to his, holding on for dear life.

“Look at me, Bonny Bleu.” He slows his pace and our eyes are locked. “Into me … you see. Say it with me.”

“Into me … you see,” we repeat together. I have no idea what it means but I like the way it makes me feel to say it with him.

“I’m going to come.” His entire body tenses when he thrusts one last time. He’s deep inside me when I feel his body shudder. “Ohh … ”

When he’s finished, he presses his forehead to mine. We’re both grinning. “I hope that was good for you.”

“The best ever,” he says, laughing. He pulls out and sits in his chair, patting his leg. “Sit in my lap.”

I sit and put my arm over his shoulder. His hand is on my back, rubbing small circles into the muscle. “What was that?”

“A magnificent orgasm.”

“I mean the into me … you see thing.”

He leans his head back against the chair and caresses my cheek as he looks at me. “Intimacy means into me … you see.”

Oh, I see the association now.

“It’s the private and intimate part of the claiming. You say it during moments you feel closest to your partner.”

“Only during sex?”

“Doesn’t have to be. You can say it whenever you’re feeling especially connected.”

Saying those words together was profound. It felt comparable to allowing him into my heart. He breeched the walls of the fortress surrounding it, the one I built to keep everyone in my life at a safe distance.

But I don’t feel distance between us. It’s as though it never existed.

That isn’t part of the plan.

I
barge
into the conference room and find Dad and Abram already waiting for me. I don’t greet either because I’m not in the mood for pleasantries. I’m mad as hell. “Which one of you did it?”

I see the puzzled expression on my father’s face and know immediately who the culprit is.

“It was me,” Abram admits.

“What did you do?” Dad asks.

I’m not at all surprised to discover last night was Abram’s doing. I’m glad to learn my father wasn’t party to this. I’m not sure how I might have handled a stab in the back like that from him.

“Abram sent me out on Fellowship business last night. While I was away, he ordered Malcolm to come into my home and go after something that belongs to me.”

“Tell me my son’s mistaken.”

Abram ignores my father, as he often does. “Since when does the American belong to you?”

He is asking if I’ve claimed her but I purposely do not respond. “What you did can be considered a betrayal.”

“You should select your words very carefully, Sinclair.” He’s pointing his finger at me. “Betrayal is a strong accusation.”

“What would you have me call it?”

“Investigation. But since you’re the one bringing up disloyalty, what about your involvement with her? She’s an outsider. You don’t consider that a form of treachery to your brotherhood?”

I don’t acknowledge his allegation against me. “You sent Malcolm after Bleu. How can you call that investigation?”

Abram gets up from his chair. I know his tactics well. This is a maneuver intended to intimidate. It places him above me so he may talk down—but it won’t work. I will not concede. “A girl from who knows where inserts herself into our world. She sways her arse and you go completely stupid. Have you not considered that she’s been planted among us by our enemy?”

“Of course I have. I’m not a fool. I did my own private investigation the moment I knew she’d been hired by Leith. We ran her prints and found nothing. I did a sweep of her place and a web search. Everything pans out. She’s clean. I’ve looked from every angle.”

“What about the matter of her looking like Amanda Lawrence? That’s no coincidence.”

“Are you never going to be able to move beyond Bleu’s resemblance to her? Amanda Lawrence is DEAD! Her daughter is DEAD! You have to get over this fixation you have with them!” It’s madness.

“I’m telling you this is no coincidence. Someone handpicked her and she’s here to destroy us.”

“Bleu is one person, not an army or coalition. She doesn’t have the power to destroy us. If you’d stop for one damn second and think rationally about this, you’d realize you’re wrong about her.”

“I’m not mistaken.”

“Then we must agree to disagree. Unless concrete evidence proves I’m wrong, I won’t allow you to send anyone else to execute her.” And what was he thinking doing that in my home?

“I didn’t send Malcolm to kill her. His assignment was to scare the lass into admitting who she is and why she’s here.” I’m not sure I believe him.

“You should’ve been clearer with your instructions because that isn’t what happened. He attacked her while she was sleeping.” I can’t tell him Bleu killed Malcolm. It will only arouse more suspicion. “I came home and found them struggling. It was dark so I had no idea it was a brother.”

“What did you do?”

“He’s dead.”

“And so it begins,” Abram sneers. “Don’t you see? We’ve lost a good brother because of her.”

“We lost Malcolm because you sent him into my home behind my back. This one is on you.”

“Mark my words. That girl’s lying in wait. She’s the devil in his most beautiful form and she’s here to sabotage us.”

“I’m warning you, Abram.” Now it’s my finger pointing at him. “Don’t send anyone else after her.”

“Or what, Sinclair? You’ll kill me? You’ll choose a stranger over your own family?”

“Enough!” my father growls. “No one in this family is killing another member.”

“I saw the way you looked at her, Thane. You have a soft spot for that lass because she reminds you of Amanda.”

Abram’s obsessed with Bleu’s likeness to Amanda Lawrence. I’m afraid he won’t be over it soon.

“Bleu reminds me of a happy time in my life but it doesn’t blind me to the risk she poses. And my son isn’t a fool. He’ll take the proper action if needed.”

Abram must understand he doesn’t get to deliver the verdict on Bleu. “You come to me if you have any further concerns about her and I’ll be the one to take care of them. Not you.”

“Do tell, Sinclair … what will you do if you find she’s not who she claims to be?”

There’s only one way to deal with a betrayal such as that. “Then it’ll be my place to kill her.”

He looks pleased. “When the time comes—and it will—The Fellowship and I will hold you to that.”

“If she’s working for the enemy, I won’t hesitate.”

“It’s good to know she hasn’t completely impaired your judgment.”

I’m not telling Bleu that Abram sent a brother after her. It’s better she believes Malcolm was an intruder coming for me. There’s also no need for her to know my uncle suspects she’s an informant.

I want to keep things exactly as they are. I’ve secretly claimed Bleu so she’s my responsibility. If her presence becomes a problem, I’ll be the one to deal with it.

I
t’s
peculiar how quickly one can become accustomed to the presence of another in their home. I enjoy having Bleu here—but she won’t stay forever. I’m slightly regretful about ending her employment at the bar. She’s free to spend her days tending to her aunt’s final arrangements while I’m working. That means she’ll return home sooner than I’d like. I’m not pleased about that prospect. I’ve become attached to her in a short time. I didn’t think it was possible.

I’m sitting in the living room sipping a whisky and listening to Violin Sonata no. 9 when Bleu arrives home. She comes through the door carrying two armfuls of bags and I recall her telling me she’d be going by the market. I’d forgotten about her cooking dinner for me tonight—something southern.

I move to get up. “I’ll get those for you.”

“No, I’m good. Nice song choice.”

She stops by for a quick kiss on her way to the kitchen. “Hi.”

“Hi.” She giggles and looks at the drink in my hand. “Rough day?”

“Aye, my leg was giving me a little trouble but it’s much better now.”

“Would it help if I rubbed it for you?”

“I’m good but I might take you up on that offer another time.”

I follow her into the kitchen. I’ve missed my Bonny Bleu today. “Were you able to find everything you need?”

“It was a struggle.” She sighs. “I’m used to huge stores where they sell everything plus a kitchen sink. There’s only small markets in this area, which I guess is okay since I can’t carry a shit ton of groceries home anyway.”

“Sterling can drive you to a bigger supermarket.”

“I bought enough for a few days. Maybe he can take me toward the end of the week if we run low.”

She’s unloading the bags so I help. “I was thinking about something today. Would you consider staying in Edinburgh once you’ve settled your aunt’s estate?”

“Hmm … let me think about this one. I don’t work. I get to do what I want all day and then have great sex every night. Living the life of a claimed woman is tough stuff.” She laughs. She closes the cabinet and looks at me. “Oh. You’re not kidding.”

“I’m very serious.”

She leans against the countertop and crosses her arms. “I don’t know. It’s not something I’ve considered.”

“What if I told you I want you to stay?” I ask.

“I’d be taken by surprise.”

“But you wouldn’t say no?”

“It’s something I’d have to think about. I have a family to consider. And a business with a lot of financial responsibility tied up in it.”

I go to her and hold her face in my hands. “Think about it. For me.” I kiss the top of her head. “I’ll take care of you. That includes any debt you’ve incurred in your business.” She opens her mouth to speak. I suspect she’s going to argue so I place my finger over her lips. “Nothing would change. You’d still do as you please each day. And I’d do as I please each night.” She grins at the last part. “But babies and brides need to be photographed in Edinburgh as well. Bleu Mac’s Photography would fit in quite well if you wanted to work.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Perfect. Are you getting closer to finalizing the estate?” I could’ve assisted her and had the proper paperwork done a week ago, but I didn’t want to speed the process.

“Yes. Maybe another week.”

“Then you don’t have long to sort out what you want to do.”

“No, seven days isn’t long when you’re considering a decision like this. But even if I decide to stay, I can only visit a total of six months on a passport and visa.”

“I want as many days as possible with you.” I sweep a stray hair from her face. “I can think of nothing worse than having an ocean between us,” I say.

“The last few weeks have been the best of my life.” She presses her palm to my face. “Is this that thing people call happiness?”

“I think it could be.” But if it’s not, I believe this is the closest I’ll ever get.

I
leave
Bleu in bed every morning when I get up for work but today is different. She’s up and I’m surprised when she comes into the shower with me. “Why are you awake so early?”

“I have something to do today.” I don’t recall her mentioning plans. I guess something with the estate fell through. Good. I want to keep her here as long as possible. It’s a reminder her days with me could be winding down.

Unless there’s a problem with selling the flat, she’ll no longer have it to deal with after next Friday. That’s when she’ll have a decision to make—pack her remaining things to bring here or ship them to the US.

“Did something go wrong with the flat’s buyer?”

“No. Everything is fine with the sale,” she says. “I’m meeting your mother in an hour. We’re going shopping together.”

Surely, I didn’t understand her correctly. “You’re doing what with whom?”

“You heard me.”

“How did this come about?”

“I decided I should make an effort to bond with her since I’m going to be living with her son for an indefinite amount of time.”

“That’s a clever way to tell me you’ve decided to stay.”

“I thought so.”

“You hadn’t mentioned it since I asked, so I was expecting you to leave next week.”

“I get this ache in my chest every time I think about leaving. The closer next week comes, the worse the pain gets.”

“You don’t know how happy you’ve made me, Bonny Bleu.” I don’t have the words to tell her. But I can show her.