A Natural Act (Contradictions) (33 page)

“Be gone before you wake-up, lady,” he promises as he leaves the room and flicks the lights off. “Won’t even know I was here.”

But I will. Because the flat will smell like him once more and I’ll remember the soft touch of his lips against my skin. The tender way he carried me and the way my heart still beats his name in Morse
code.

True to his word, when I woke up the next morning he was gone. Every night since, he’s been here. Sometimes I hear him come in, sometimes I don’t. He’s always gone when I wake up but he leaves his imprint on the flat.

There’ll be a cup with a tea bag in it, a plate ready for my toast and a knife ready for the butter.

The bathroom will still be steamy with the scent of his deodorant, body wash, and aftershave hanging in the air.

It makes the apartment seem somehow
emptier than it was before. I sometimes wish he would hang around in the morning just so I could see his face but at the same time I’m not sure I would know what to say.

I appreciate that he’s hanging around because Nigel is calling every day. The texts ta
lk of punishments and making him lose face. I remember what those things mean and even though he’s not openly threatening me, I can read between the lines.

Today, the text message came through whilst I was at work and I couldn’t not read it because the full text came through on the screen. It said
“Last chance”.

Last chance to drop the charges, last chance to
avoid his wrath. Well I’m not budging. I spent years letting him bully and intimidate me. I don’t see what he could possibly do to me. He’s not exactly going to break into my flat and beat me. He’d definitely be going to prison then.

That’s what I tell myself but in reality I’m terrified. He’s perfectly capable of finding a way to hurt me. He’s proved that on countless occasions.

“Professional,” a familiar voice jibes as it finds me with my forehead resting against my beautiful oak desk.

“
I’m having a bad day,” I tell him, leaving my forehead on the cool surface.

I really don’t have the energy for a confrontation with a Carter and I’m fairly sure I’ll see Ian if I look up.

“I’m about to make it worse,” he tells me and he seems delighted by the idea.

I groan and reluctantly drag my head away from my desk, sitting back up in my seat.

“Get up,” he orders.

I raise an eyebrow at him because there was no please or thank you there. I want to tell him where to shove it but he is a bit intimidating and his eyes are sort of mesmerising. I’m stood up before I fully realise what’s happened and it’s too late to complain since I’ve already done as I was told.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re bossy?” I ask him with a healthy dose of sarcasm as I follow him through the office.

“
Nope,” he replies.

“
Maybe they don’t dare,” I grumble to myself.

“
Maybe not,” he replies, stopping to meet my eyes.

I’m
momentarily thrown off balance because I’m not sure if he’s irritated by my comments or not but he smirks and relaxes.

“
Aunt Megan,” he grins, catching sight of her coming out of the break room.

“
Ian,” she greets him with a delicate hug. “I didn’t see you come in. I was waiting for you.”

Ian smiles.
“Are we still okay to take Isabella for lunch?”

“
Of course,” Megan grins. “She works too hard as it is, she never takes a full hour.”

Nobody asked me if it was okay! The little voice in my head is stomping its feet and crossing its arms.

“Great,” Ian beams. “See you later.”

He puts his arm around my shoulder and whisks me out of the office.

“Ian,” I hiss. “This is practically kidnapping.”

“
We’re buying you lunch, how awful of us,” Ian drawls.

“
We? What we?” I panic slightly, halting my steps.

“
Why?” Ian smirks. “Somebody you’re avoiding?”

I narrow my eyes because he knows exactly who I’m avoiding.

“Karl,” he relents. “Just me and Karl.”

“
Karl and I,” I correct him sulkily.

“
Well, excuse me,” Ian feigns offense but he’s grinning so I decide I’ve gotten away with it.

I’m sat in the car and the two of them pretty much ignore me and chat amongst themselves until we arrive
at a Brazilian restaurant on the outskirts of town.

“
Order whatever you like,” Ian instructs.

I lament that what I want is one of the toxically strong co
cktails Tucker makes me when I’m in a bad mood because it’s a work day and I can hardly return to the office fuzzy-headed.

“
Why have I been lunch-napped?” I ask as I sip on my mocktail. I’m hoping for a placebo effect to be induced by the cocktail umbrella

“
We can’t check in with our sister in law?” Ian asks.

“
Craig and I broke up and we were never married,” I remind him.

“
Still family,” Ian shrugs.

“
Craig’s still head over fucking heels for you,” Karl chuckles.

I shake my head because I know that. I know he loves me, I’ve never doubted that. I just don’t understand why doesn’t want me.

“Yet he ended it,” I sigh, looking up at Karl because he does seem genuinely frustrated by the situation.

“
Sure he had his reasons,” Karl answers, glancing over at Ian.

“
Why aren’t you talking to him?” Ian cuts to the chase.

“
Why would I talk to him?” I counter. “He ended it.”

“
Maybe he was right,” Ian turns to Karl. “She doesn’t love him.”

“
Don’t you dare,” I hiss, barely controlling my volume levels. “Don’t you dare say that!”

“
You loved him, you wouldn’t be acting like this,” Karl shrugs like it’s obvious.

“
You mean keeping away because it’s too painful to be rejected by the man I love?” I snap.

“
Bullshit,” Karl shakes his head.

“
Double bullshit,” Ian agrees. “You must know that he loves you. He’s got that nonsense tattooed all over his side. Don’t tell me that has nothing to do with you.”

I look down at my plate because I’m not contesting his love for me. I feel like I’m being interrogated for murder.

“I do know. But he said it wasn’t working,” I grit.

“
So you just accept that?” Ian cocks his head. “You give up the man you supposedly love and walk away?”

“
That’s not what I’m doing!” I shout, ignoring the people in the restaurant who are now staring.

“
No. You’re hiding,” Ian tells me calmly before finishing off the last mouthful of his huge meal.

Mine’s barely been touched.

Am I? Am I really hiding from him?

I know the answer is yes; because it’s too painful to be around him without understanding why we can’t be together.

“Don’t you think you owe him friendship at the very least?”

I grit my teeth because I owe him a lot more than that. I miss the nice comforting surface of my desk. I’d quite like to bang my head against it.

Ian pushes away from the table and heads for the bathrooms. I’m left with Karl and I find it poignant that he’s here since he and Craig don’t always get on as well as they could.

“
Don’t give up on him, Isabella,” Karl levels me with a firm glare. “Don’t know what he’s thinking but I know he’s hurting. If I didn’t have Elise, I’d be lost. Completely and utterly lost. Can see that on Craig whenever I’m home. He needs you.”

“
I need him too,” I admit my lower lip quivering.

“
Then man up because Craig is being a fucking pussy,” Karl grins.

“
I thought you two didn’t get along,” I question him because this has been a one sided interrogation so far.

“
I haven’t always been the best big brother,” Karl admits. “But he’s my brother and I want him to be happy. Sometimes that means giving him a kick up the arse. Sometimes that means I have to get the love is his life to do it for me.”

“
Elise is a lucky lady,” I decide because he’s not as scary as I first thought after hearing him scream down the phone at Craig. I suspect his heart is in the right place.

“
Yes she is,” he rests his hands on the back of his head, puffing out his broad chest. The man is ginormous.

I just chuckle and shake my head because cockiness definitely runs in the family.

“You’re a lucky bastard too,” Ian tells him, silently appearing at the table.

Karl laughs and it booms about the restaurant.
“I have a beautiful, challenging, borderline mental wife and the most beautiful baby girl I’ve ever seen for a daughter. Lucky doesn’t cut it, bro.”

I can’t help but grin because I can tell he means it.

“What about Jelly when she was a baby?” Ian smirks.

“
Oh man, I love the girl but she was a monkey faced baby.”

“
Maybe a bit,” Ian relents. “But she was still adorable and she turned out alright.”

“
Carter genes,” Karl nods.

“
Do you guys know what the word humility means?”

“
No, enlighten us oh smart arse-d one,” Karl jibes.

“
Wow,” I laugh. “What are you, twelve?”

Ian laughs and shakes his head.
“That’s enough. Both of you. We still have things we need to talk about.”

I groan because I thought we’d gotten past the nastiness and I’d actually begun enjoying myself.

“How are you getting on, Isabella,” Ian asks me seriously. “You said you were having a bad day.”

“
I’m fine,” I answer because honestly I’m doing much better. Work is going well, I have a few great friends and a new confidence which I haven’t had since I was a teenager. “Just Nigel causing me headaches.”

“
Gathered as much,” Ian nods. “Can I see your phone?”

I just hand it over
because I’ve already established it’s not really worth arguing with Ian. He seems like a man who always gets what he wants. Besides, he’s trying to help me.

“
Interesting,” Ian hands the phone to Karl. “Feels like he’s losing his composure. Must feel the bars closing in on him.”

“
Caged animal,” Karl remarks with a small frown.

“
Surely that’s a good thing,” I theorise. “I’d like him behind bars.”

“
Except for the fact that there’s nothing more dangerous than a caged animal because they have nothing to lose when they attack.”

“
Once he’s actually in prison, he won’t be able to do anything,” I remind them.

“
True,” Ian nods. “But this investigation is going to take a while. They can’t yet prove his hand in the medical journal fraud.”

“
I know,” I nod but I doubt he’s going to do anything to make the situation worse and risk more time.

“
I have no doubt he’s going down for this but he’s smart. He’s aware of the hole he’s dug for himself now. He’s going to consider all options to get himself out.”

I nod because that makes sense. He would definitely throw somebody else off the bridge if it meant he didn’t have to jump himself.

“Do you remember how to use the app?” Ian asks me.

I scowl at him because I’m not an idiot.

“Jesus, are you this much hard work with, Craig,” Karl shakes his head in amusement.

Ian grins but ignores him.
“Want you to start using it more often. Let us know every time he texts or calls so we can gauge his emotional state. Just double tap the logo if you ever find yourself in trouble and it’ll send your GPS location to all of us with an SOS message.”

“
Seems a bit advanced for a family app,” I scrutinise him.

“
We figured it was a good idea after all the trouble Jelly gets herself into,” Ian counters with the hint of a smirk.

“
Well, I appreciate it. I know this is my problem and you don’t have to help but I’m very grateful,” I tell them earnestly.

“
Nothing to thank us for. You’re family, that’s what family is for,” Karl winks.

By the time I’m safely ensconced in my office once more. My mind is made up.

I have little to nothing to worry about with the Carter boys on my side. Nigel can try but he can’t hurt me because I’m not prepared to let him and neither are they.

Craig, however, is a great worry to me. His brothers are right, if I love him, how can I just accept that he ended our relationship?

I’m never going to move on from this. I’m never going to find a replacement. His shoes are too grand to fill.

I miss him every second of every
day and he’s miserable too. Even if he doesn’t want to accept my love and be involved with me romantically, we still have fun together and he’s still been very good to me.