A Mother's Duty (47 page)

Mick did not in all honesty but could not bring himself to say so. Even now when Jeannie was thinner and paler she was still lovely. ‘The big fella probably believed it when he said it,’ he murmured.

She nodded. ‘What was your father like?’

He wondered at the change of subject but answered her. ‘He was ill all the time. Ma and Gran were in charge of running things as far back as I can remember. There was my uncle but he didn’t really prepare us for what it would be like to have a stepfather.’

‘You make Pops sound a monster.’

He said bluntly, ‘He had me by the throat once and I was terrified. Although Cessy was never scared of him.’

‘Do you think Teddy’s scared of him?’

Mick’s eyes met hers. ‘Now or when we were younger?’

‘Now. Do you think that’s why he left home?’

Mick did not want to talk about his brother. ‘No. Now can we change the subject? Would you like to go to the pictures tonight?’

Jeannie ignored the question. ‘Perhaps Pops is a monster? Perhaps he wears a mask and all the time he isn’t nice at all.’

Mick stared at her incredulously. ‘Come off it! The big fella’s OK. He’s been good to us. Our Teddy is no plaster saint.’

‘I don’t want him to be a plaster saint.’ She smiled at him. ‘Is Cessy Celia?’

He looked surprised. ‘Who else could she be? You do know she’s the big fella’s god-daughter?’

‘I had heard. Why don’t you ask her to go the pictures?’

That did it for Mick. What girl would suggest to a bloke that he went out with another girl if she felt anything at all for him? Without a word he left the room and went downstairs, thinking that maybe he would take her up on her suggestion.

There was no sign of Celia but as he reached the lobby he heard a car draw up. He went outside and saw that it was the O’Neills – at least the female members of the family and they had come bearing gifts. He felt a lifting of his spirits as the three of them smiled at him.

‘Hello, Michael,’ said Becky. ‘How’s Jeannie?’

‘You’re best asking Ma,’ he said cheerfully. ‘Our Teddy’s joined the air force and the pair of them are down in the dumps.’

‘Wow! Is he going to be a pilot?’ said Sarah who was now twelve, as tall as her mother and growing more like her every day. ‘They reckon if there’s another war it’ll be fought in the air. We’re going to need pilots.’

‘There’s not going to be another war. Forget about war!’ said her mother. ‘Just take that basket of fruit and give it to Jeannie. Siobhan, you can take the flowers whilst I go and see your Aunt Kitty.’

As they entered the lobby Kitty came out of the Smoking Room carrying a pile of ashtrays, already having heard their voices. ‘I’m glad you’ve arrived now, Becky. It gives me an excuse to make a cuppa.’

Rebekah looked at her with concern. ‘Mick said Teddy’s joined the air force.’

‘That’s right.’ She smiled brightly. ‘He left a note and upped and left. We don’t even know where his training camp is.’ She turned and went ahead of Rebekah into the kitchen.

‘You must be worried.’

‘I can’t bear thinking about it.’ Kitty cleared her throat. ‘If there’s another war I’ll probably go to pieces.’

‘If-if-if! There’s not going to be another war,’ said Becky firmly, taking her arm. ‘Peace in our time! You heard Chamberlain.’

‘I heard him! But I don’t trust that Hitler. I don’t like his haircut and I don’t like him marching into other people’s countries,’ she said briskly. ‘The government acted like a scared cat over Czechoslovakia, although I can understand why. I don’t want war! I hate war!’ Kitty’s fingers trembled as she placed the ashtrays in the sink and ran water on them. ‘All these years rearing them only to—’

‘It hasn’t happened,’ interrupted Becky, turning off the tap and sitting her friend down. ‘Hitler got what he wanted so stop thinking about it and tell me how’s Jeannie taken it?’

Kitty sighed. ‘She really loves him. We’ve got closer because of it. We’re not exactly friends and we’re not exactly like mother and daughter. It’s different.’

‘Is she the one to take over your hotel, though?’ murmured Becky.

‘I don’t know about that,’ said Kitty soberly. ‘I don’t think her heart’s in it. And once her leg’s better and we hear from Teddy I’m not sure if she’ll stay. He doesn’t like the hotel life and if he did, could he and John get along with each other? At the moment him and me, and him and Jeannie are barely speaking. It’s his fault Teddy’s gone off. He came the heavy father, overprotective and blaming Teddy for everything to do with the accident when it was the pig’s fault.’

Becky smiled. ‘Poor pig! John acted just like any father would in the circumstances. I’m sure Daniel would have been the same. If Teddy had only been patient, John would have calmed down eventually.’

Kitty was not so sure and decided to change the subject. ‘How is Daniel?’

Becky was silent a moment then she said slowly, ‘He’s talking about going to live in the Republic. I know I said not to think about there being another war but he believes that if war comes, then Liverpool will be a prime target because of its position and it being a port. He wants the children out of it.’

Kitty groaned. ‘I don’t blame him but I wish you weren’t going. Let’s hope and pray there isn’t a war.’

‘I want that as much as you do,’ said Becky, and she seized her friend’s hand and held it tightly. ‘But if war comes, Kit, think of letting the younger boys come to us. I know you wouldn’t leave England with Teddy in the air force, but let them be safe. There’ll be air raids and maybe gas attacks.’

Her words caused a shiver to race down Kitty’s spine. ‘You don’t have to tell me,’ she said in a low voice. ‘It doesn’t bear thinking about.’

‘But you’ve got to think about it,’ insisted Becky. ‘Think about Mick, too. We’re all fond of Mick. Ask him if he’ll come as well.’

Kitty stared at her. ‘You’d have to ask Mick. I’d like him safe but he’ll be twenty-one come spring. The decision will be his then, if the army hasn’t got him already.’

Becky sighed. ‘I just pray it doesn’t come to a war and I won’t have to leave. I love Liverpool and Sarah’ll hate living on the farm.’

‘But if it comes to it,’ murmured Kitty, ‘you’ll all have to go.’ She squared her shoulders and said more brightly, ‘Let’s forget it. All I want at the moment is to hear from Teddy and then perhaps I might just be prepared to forgive that husband of mine.’ She was not yet willing to admit that maybe she might also have got some things wrong and needed forgiving herself.

It was the day after Boxing Day that they heard from Teddy, but even then it was only a card sending his best wishes for Christmas and the New Year.

‘I can’t believe it,’ said Mick, squinting at the postmark but unable to make it out. He placed the card on the mantelpiece. ‘I thought he would have at least told us where he was and how he’s doing.’ He glanced at his mother and Jeannie, remembering how annoyed he had been every time he felt they were treating the big fella like something the cat brought in. He did not know how his stepfather had kept his patience because Mick had wanted to shake them until their eyes rattled in their heads like one of Siobhan’s dolls. He was of the opinion that some of the women’s anger should have been directed at his brother for his selfishness in not relieving their anxiety over the last few weeks, but his feelings were tinged with guilt because he still felt in some way to blame for Teddy leaving.

‘He’s scared of saying too much,’ said John, not looking up from the newspaper.

‘What d’you mean?’ Kitty caught his glance and for the first time in weeks she did not turn from it. ‘If you can give me a good reason for his sending us one measly card I’d like to hear it.’

‘He’ll be homesick. Most lads get that way at first,’ said her husband in mild tones. ‘He’ll be missing his home comforts but he’s not going to whine about it and upset you. He’ll be a man when he comes home.’

‘You seem to know all about it,’ said Jeannie in a small tight voice. ‘Perhaps you can explain why he hasn’t written to me?’ Her hands trembled on the table.

John glanced across at her and said quietly, ‘I don’t have all the answers. You’ll have to work that one out for yourself.’

‘Are you saying he doesn’t want me?’

‘No. I don’t know what’s going on in his mind but if he’s the person you think he is then have some faith in the lad. He must have his reasons and I’m probably one of them. Maybe he thinks I’d rip his letters up before you get a chance to read them.’

‘And would you?’ she cried, starting to her feet and staring at him with an anguished expression in her eyes.

‘What do you think?’ he said quietly.

They continued to look at each other for several long moments before she turned and left the basement.

Nobody said a word but Kitty’s heart felt heavy. Not only was she vexed with Teddy for not letting them know where he was, just placing him somewhere would have eased her mind, but also because she was imagining him unhappy and lonely and as living a spartan life.

Still, Teddy’s card was the cause of a relaxing in the strained atmosphere between John and Kitty because she had been touched by her husband’s apparent understanding of how Teddy might be feeling and also by his telling Jeannie to have some faith in him. No apologies were made but when she spoke to him her tone was much warmer and, instead of ignoring him when they were alone, normal conversation was resumed. She would also touch him affectionately in passing.

It was different with Jeannie who, though perfectly polite to John, showed him no warmth of feeling. Kitty tried to talk to her, to reason with her and to get her to understand how parents felt about their children and how they worried and wanted them safe. Jeannie laughed in her face, ‘Safe,’ she said. ‘There’s going to be a war!’

‘No,’ said Kitty, feeling chilled to the bone. ‘It’d be madness.’

‘The world is mad,’ said Jeannie in a hard voice. ‘If families can’t live together in peace, then why expect countries to do it.’

‘We’re only human! Everybody falls out at times,’ protested Kitty, feeling that Jeannie’s remark was slanted at her family. ‘Most families get together again.’

‘This one hasn’t,’ said Jeannie and walked out.

Two days later Kitty went to wake her and found her bed made and all her clothes gone. She hated having to tell John and when she did, did not like it at all when his only response was, ‘Well, that’s that! She’s another person I’ve let down.’ Before she could say anything to reassure him he went downstairs and somehow the moment was lost for her to say anything that she considered might be of the remotest help.

In March, Germany annexed the rest of Czechoslovakia and Kitty could no longer pretend that war was not imminent, but France and Britain dithered over what action to take so that in the end nobody seemed to know what was going to happen. The following month Italy invaded Albania and it became obvious to most thinking people in the light of the alliance between Germany and Italy that the situation in Europe was grave.

In May, the O’Neills came to say goodbye. ‘Remember you can send Jack and Ben to us,’ said Becky, pressing John’s hand and gazing up at him with sad green eyes. ‘We’ll take good care of them.’

‘We’ll think about it,’ said John quietly, keeping hold of her hand. ‘Thanks for all you’ve done for me. I’ve appreciated it.’

Kitty and Daniel were handfast too. ‘I’ll never forget the way you came to my rescue over Charley,’ she said in a shaky voice. ‘I don’t know what I’d have done without you both.’

‘Mary, mother of God!’ he exclaimed, looking exasperated. ‘We will see each other again! This isn’t goodbye forever. We’ll still have ships docking here.’

‘It feels like we’re going forever,’ said Sarah mournfully. ‘I don’t want to go. I hate the countryside.’ She hugged Kitty and the boys in turn and added to Mick, ‘If you go and fight you will be careful, won’t you?’

He nodded and ruffled her newly cut and waved hair, feeling a bit choked himself. He told himself that of course he would see them all again. Hadn’t that gypsy told him he’d return safe? ‘I’ll be careful,’ he said, adding in a teasing voice, ‘And you be good.’

‘I’ll try,’ she said, and hung out of the window as the car drove away, waving madly and blowing kisses.

In June, the newly launched submarine
Thetis
sank in Liverpool Bay and the city was plunged into mourning with the loss of so many men. Kitty wondered if it was a taste of things to come, when the day finally came and war broke out. Teddy was never far from her thoughts and she longed for him to get in touch. She felt certain it was the same with John but neither of them would mention Jeannie or Teddy to the other.

John decided to turn the back basement room into a shelter and somehow that made her feel better about things. Lately she had feared he might just take off into the blue. The ceiling was reinforced with sheets of tin and extra wooden beams and an extra layer of brick all round strengthened the walls. There were already two perfect escape exits, one to the yard through the door into the back area and another leading three ways, upstairs into the lobby or along into the front basement room or into the coal hole opening in the pavement.

With Mick’s help John made four sets of bunk beds. Whilst that was being done, Kitty began to lay in a stock of household goods, including linen, crockery and cutlery, as well as clothes all bought at the summer sales. She also stocked the basement with tins of fruit, vegetables and meat and dried goods.

The moment she had been dreading arrived and Mick received his call-up papers and chose to serve in the Royal Navy. It was the Spanish fortune teller with her talk of crossing the water all those years ago which influenced him. Anyway, for better or for worse, he decided to be a sailor. When it came to saying his goodbyes to the family, he realised why Teddy had left like a thief in the night.

‘Keep your head down,’ said John, shaking hands with him.

His mother did not speak at all but hugged him tightly, her eyes shining with tears. He was near to tears as well and did not know how he managed to control himself. She had always been there for him, part of his everyday life since the day he was born. Ben was silent like his mother. Hannah said that knowing Mick he’d be back in one piece just like a bad penny, but by now he knew her ways and guessed she was going to miss him. He was unsure how to say his goodbyes to Celia. Maybe if they had been alone he might have kissed her properly, as it was they shook hands and kissed cheeks. As for Jack, who was now five, he waved cheerfully and rode down the Mount part of the way with him on the tricycle and told him to blow the Germans out of the water. Then he was on the train and had left them behind.