A Lifetime to Find Love (14 page)

“Consider it a promise and I always keep my promises.”  He leaned down and gently placed a kiss on her lips. 

They were both laughing, enjoying this night that belonged only to them.  Nothing else seemed to matter at that point and they were oblivious to the other patrons in the restaurant.  That’s how it always was when they were together.  Life went from a world of great magnitude to a pinpoint when they were in the company of each other.  They must have stood there for over an hour just talking about everything from the weather to Tessa’s photo shoots, to Cade’s practice.  It was incredibly nice for both of them to enjoy the time they had.

“I should get you home, Tess.  It’s late.”  Cade glanced at his watch.  He hadn’t realized the time had gotten away from them.

“I don’t want to go home yet.  It’s so nice up here.”

“I guess a little longer won’t hurt.”

He pulled her into his embrace for the simple fact that he could.  He needed to feel the body that he had beneath him, atop him, and beside him just the night before.  He took pleasure in holding her gently in his arms while the silence of the night swallowed them up.  Of course, he should have known the silence wouldn’t last long with Tessa.  She never was one for just enjoying the silence.

“So, seriously, Cade, how many women have you brought up here?”

Shaking his head, he answered, “Sometimes I don’t think you listen too well, Tess.  I told you, one.”

“Okay, I can believe that since it’s quite a drive, but how many women have you cooked breakfast for?”

“One.”  Cade felt the conversation going in a direction he wasn’t sure he wanted it to go.  And he certainly didn’t know what Tessa was getting at. 

“Do you want to know how many women I’ve woken up to the next morning, Tessa?  How many women I’ve taken to dinner on the beach?  How many women who have completely consumed my thoughts that I find myself smiling throughout the day just by thinking about them?  How many women I’ve completely given my heart to without intending to?  One, Tess.  The answer is one.  And as I said before, she’s standing in front of me.”

Cade felt his heart squeeze in his chest.  He hadn’t planned on telling Tessa that he was completely consumed by her, but everything was so perfect today.  Between the drive up, the dinner, the conversation they had shared earlier and now, he wanted her and the world to know how he felt.

“Thank you, Cade.  You are an amazing man.  Sometimes I feel like I need to pinch myself to wake up from this dream that I’m having.  You are an incredible man with a heart of gold.  You are caring, romantic, and extremely sexy.  And why you have chosen me of all people to be with is beyond my comprehension.”  Tessa tried to find the right words, not sure she could make him understand what she felt deep within her heart.  “You have watched me grow up practically before your eyes, so it baffles me even more that you would want to be with me.  You’ve always been like a big brother to me--”

“I don’t want to be a big brother, Tess.”  Normally, he wouldn’t be so rude as to interrupt someone, but he needed to make it very clear to her that he was looking for something deeper.  “I want to be the other half of you.  I want to be the man that you dream about when you close your eyes.  I want to be the man that you want to find comfort in, security.  I want to be the one, that no matter the kind of day you’ve had, I’m the one you want to share it with.”

“Why?” Tessa asked quickly.

“Why, what?” 

“Why me?  Of all the women you’ve been with or could have, out of all the women who want you, why me, Cade?”

Leaning his forehead to hers, he pulled her deeper into his arms.  “Because you are the only woman that makes my heart skip a beat when I think of you.  The only one that causes my breath to catch in my throat when I look at you.  The only one that makes my body feel like it’s on fire with just a glance from those big brown eyes.  No other woman does that for me, Tess.”  

“I feel the same way, Cade.  You’ve always been a part of my life for as long as I can remember, but I want you in it not just as my friend, but as my lover also.  And you are the one I dream of when I close my eyes, the one I want to share everything with.”

Chapter 15

Tessa leaned into the comfort of his body.  She had not expected the words he had given her and she certainly not the conviction with which he spoke them.  She hadn’t even thought for a second that she would  share with him what she had been feeling.  Not one person she had ever been in a relationship with had felt so much for her.  Other than Rowan, she had never truly felt love from another person before.  She’d known her parents loved her, but she was so young when her mother died and her father had shut himself off to not only her and Rowan, but also to the rest of the world.  When her mother died, his ability to love died with her. She couldn’t even remember him hugging her or telling her he loved her.  But to stand here in front of Cade and listen to him express his feelings for her was overwhelming.  There was so much she wanted to say to him, so much more than what she had already given to him, but she was not good with words.  She’d be better off pouring all of her emotions into a picture and giving that to him.  She was afraid she hadn’t truly conveyed to him what she was feeling.  Instead of using any more words, she placed her hands on either side of his face and pulled his mouth to hers.  With every emotion she felt, with everything that was in her heart, she kissed him there in the night as the stars sprinkled them gently with a dusting of light.  She kept her eyes focused on him, wanting him to see to the very depth of her soul.  Cade was turning her heart over and she wanted him to know that, to feel it.  She slowly broke off the kiss, leaning her head into his chest.  He pulled her tighter into his embrace and she felt the world around them melt away.  She never wanted him to let go of her.  Her words may have been lacking, but her kiss pulled her emotions from the deepest part of her and poured it into his soul.  Tessa turned her head up to his, looking in his mesmerizing deep blue eyes.

“Can we take a walk along the beach?” 

She didn’t want this to end.   No matter how late it was, this was their time and she wanted it to last as long as possible.  She delighted in the fact that he had thought enough of her to bring her here to this special place above any other woman and she would take full advantage of it.

“Of course we can.  Are you sure though, it’s a bit chilly.”

“Are you kidding?  I have you to keep me warm.”  She gave him a little wink.

Cade placed their wine glasses on a table just inside the door.  Taking Tessa’s hand he intertwined their fingers and led her around the balcony steps that led down to the beach.  He swept her up into his arms carrying her until his feet hit the sand.  He slowly lowered her, wanting so desperately to seal his mouth to hers.  He wanted her to know what he felt went bone deep and he would do whatever he needed to prove that to her. 

Tessa placed her hands on his chest to catch her balance.   The heat from beneath his cotton shirt raced from her palms shooting through  her body to her very core.  Then that same searing  heat made its way from Cade’s lips  when he covered her  mouth with his .  Just as she began to reciprocate, he quickly ended it. 

“Come with me,” he said as he gently tugged at her to follow.  “I want to show you something.”

Tessa followed eagerly.  She was beginning to understand that there were things in Cade’s life that he held very dear, that he didn’t share with just anyone.  He was a private person when it came to certain things in his life especially his emotions.  She would never take that for granted, at least she hoped that she wouldn’t. They walked along the shoreline a short way then Cade suddenly pulled her into an alcove.  It was hidden away so much that if you didn’t know it was there, you would miss it.  Boulders had been worn by the water and the elements, making a perfect seat out of sand and stone. 

Cade sat down and pulled Tessa on to his lap.  This was his favorite place to come when he just needed to get away from the hassles and stresses of work and the world.  He didn’t mind the drive up the coast because the beauty that lay before him was his reward.  He would sit for hours on end inhaling the scent of the ocean as the bombardment of the waves against rocks invaded his ears.  In a world filled with chaos and illness, this was his place of serenity from the outside influences that he dealt with on a daily basis.  This place was his place of Zen.  Few knew of this particular alcove since the beach was all but deserted most of the time.  He spent many nights sitting in this alcove when he found his life empty and wanting.  It was the one place he could clear his mind of the clutter that life threw his way.  He wanted to share this and so many other things with Tessa.  They sat in silence for the longest time just listening to the lullaby of the waves as they sang of love and happiness.  It was so peaceful and perfect.  Cade placed his hands on Tessa’s shoulders gently massaging them.  His touch was gentle against the warmth of her olive skin, his heart beating faster just from the simple gesture.

“Relax, Tess. You feel so tense.” 

She immediately sank back against him allowing all the tension to ease from her body.  She hadn’t realized she’d been all that tense until he placed his hands on her.   Relaxed against him, she continued to enjoy the peacefulness of the night that engulfed them.

“Cade, I need to be honest with you about something.”

“Well, that’s one thing I know I don’t ever have to worry about with you.  It’s one of the many things I appreciate about you.  You’ve always been open and honest.”

“Well, I haven’t been totally honest with you.”

“How’s that?” he asked, fear lacing his voice as he waited for her answer.

Tessa started to pull away from him, unsure of the words she would use to express what she was feeling. Cade held on to her.

“Don’t, Tess. Don’t pull away from me.  Please don’t ever be afraid to talk to me.”

There was no other way to get around this. She needed to just say what she had to say and be done with it.  She didn’t like people beating around the bush with her and she sure as hell wouldn’t do it him.  Turning in his arms so that he could see what she was trying to say, just in case her words screwed things up, she traced the top button of his shirt with her index finger.

“This relationship scares the hell out of me, Cade.  I’ve never thought it possible for me to have such strong feelings for someone or for someone to feel for a second what you showed me back at the restaurant.  And in such a short time.” 

“Tessa, it’s not like we’ve just met.  We’ve known each other a long time.”

“Not like this, not intimate like last night.  And certainly not…”

She ducked her head, embarrassed that she had actually let someone, let Cade see a side of her that exposed who she really was in the deepest crevices of her being.  He penetrated deep within her soul, to a place no one had ever been..  She liked the world to think of her as having everything together, but with Cade she didn’t want to keep up the facade.  As she kept her gaze on the sand coating her brown lace up boots he placed a finger on her chin and lifted it so that she would look into his eyes.

“Do you think that I’m not scared out of my wits?  I’ve never felt this way either, Tess.  But as scared as I am about my feelings, I’m more scared of you not being in my life.”

Tessa leaned into him, taking possession of his mouth.  Tracing the seam of his lips until he opened up to her, she enjoyed his taste against her tongue.  Tingling crept from her toes, inching its way up throughout her body as the kiss deepened becoming more passionate.  Her finger left the safety of the button she’d just been tracing.  Slipping her hands inside his shirt at the juncture just below his collarbone, she continued upward wrapping her arms around his neck.  She didn’t care that they were out in the open.  She wanted to tell him with her body what her words fell short of doing.  Her craving for him was quenched when Cade broke off the kiss, gently brought her arms from around his neck, and pulled her back on to his lap.  She could feel his arousal pressed against her bottom, that same erection that had made her experience so many orgasms the night before, but he made no move to continue their interlude.