A Life Worth Living (15 page)

“Look how cute this is,” Gaby said, showing the sun to Hillel.

“Do you want it?” Hillel asked.

“Yes, please,” Gaby said, loving how she could just ask for something and Hillel would whip out his wallet and pay for it.

“
Camah zeh oleh
?” Hillel asked the owner.

“
Shemonim sh’kalim
.”

“Wow, eighty shekel for a piece of glass?”

“I really want it,” Gaby implored. Maybe Hillel wasn’t as easy as she thought he was.

“
B'shvilaych, shishim sh’kalim
,” the woman offered.

“Do you really want it?” Hillel looked uncertain.

“Yes, I really want it. Please, please, please?”

Hillel pulled out three bills from his wallet and gave it to the lady. She smiled her thanks and took the yellow glass sun from Gaby to wrap in pretty pink paper.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Gaby threw her arms around Hillel and gave him a tight hug. If she didn’t count Benny’s unintentionally-left-behind sweatshirt, this was the first present any boy had given her.

“You see here, you make into necklace,” the owner said in heavily accented English to Gaby.

Gaby looked down at the opening in the ornament where a chain could be threaded. “I will. Thank you.”

The lady passed her the package and Gaby smiled her thanks. Threading her fingers through Hillel’s, she said to him, “You bought me the sun!”

“I know,” Hillel said, with a grin, “How will you ever pay me back?”

Gaby stuck her tongue at him. “We’ll see.”

The group went from stall to stall, checking out the craft stuff for sale, eating the samples of cheese and cookies being offered, and enjoying the art on display until Hillel said regretfully, “I have to get going.”

“Why?” Gaby said. “It’s still early.” Then, seeing the expressi
on on Hillel’s face and remembering her earlier promise, she quickly added, “It’s okay. You go ahead. We’ll find a ride back. Thanks so much for taking us. I really appreciate it.”

“Nah. I’m gonna drive you back. It’s not safe to
tremp
.”

“Why isn’t it safe? Everyone here is Jewish.”

“That doesn’t mean anything. Come on, I want to take you back to the kibbutz, but I have to leave now.”

It was a little lame that Hillel always played by the rules. He couldn’t pull one all-nighter? But she didn’t want to argue, it was nice enough of him to go out of his way to take them to Tzfat. She’d listen to him this time. “Alright.” She turned to Shira and Devorah Leah and beckoned them to come, indicating it was time to leave.

“No way! It’s so early,” Shira complained.

Devorah Leah was busy talking up a punkish-looking boy standing by a wax candle stand and didn’t look too pleased to leave either.

“He has to go back to his base,” Gaby said, feeling a little bad about ending the fun so early.

Shira made a face, but took one more sample of cheese from a vendor and followed them back to the car. Devorah Leah handed her number to the wax candle punk and ran to catch up with the group.

In the car, Devorah Leah and Shira were quiet. They were either sleeping or just listening to the CD, Gaby couldn’t tell. She stroked Hillel’s hand as he rested it on the stick shift, watching the road go by. When he pulled up to the kibbutz, the two girls got out of the car and left with sleepy goodbyes.

Gaby lingered for a minute. “Thanks so much for coming to see me. I had a lot of fun.”

“Me, too.” Hillel put his arm around Gaby’s neck. Gaby laid her head against his shoulder. The feel of his body was so comforting, she felt like she could stay in the nook of his arm forever.

“I wish you could stay another night.”

“Sorry, honey, there’s no concept of Sunday rest in Israel.”

“I know! I still haven’t gotten used to a one-day weekend.”

“Yeah,” said Hillel. Then a minute later, “Hey, my base is having a
mesibah
on Chanukah. You should come.”

Gaby sat up. “Really? You want me to come?”

“Sure, you could meet my
mefaked
and all my army buddies.”

“Okay, sounds like a plan.” She kissed him on his forehead and then said, “You should go. I don’t want you to drive when you’re so tired.”

Hillel nodded his agreement, and Gaby got out of the car. She waved as the car left the kibbutz, and when she couldn’t see it anymore, she went back to her apartment, holding tightly to her little yellow sun.

Gaby was on her hands and knees, cleaning up yet another apple juice mess on the floor, when a thought occurred to her. She couldn’t do this anymore. She sat up, and looked down at herself. Her hands were grimy, her hair was stuck in a messy pony, and she hadn’t put on makeup in
days. What had her life come to? Thankfully, there was only an hour left to
gan
. Maybe the girls would have an idea of something fun to do.

Gaby groaned, remembering. It would not be wise to count on Shira wanting to do anything fun. Shira had broken up with Chen yet again, and lately all she wanted to do was watch TV. There had to be some way she could convince Shira to snap out of it because Gaby needed to get out of this tiny little world she had been inhabiting.

It was Tuesday, only three days since Hillel’s visit, and already she felt like she was living in a parallel universe where the only things that mattered were changing diapers, reading story books to kids who couldn’t sit still, and singing the same five songs over and over again. Then she’d go back to her apartment and watch Israeli TV until it was time to go to sleep and start the cycle again.

As incredible as it was to imagine, she still had only sporadic access to the internet, when she was able to screw up the courage to ask Chana if she could use
her home computer. Once she did manage to get online, it didn’t seem worth the effort. The reply e-mails from Tovah and her other friends were brief and jotty, filled with talk about college and professors, stressful finals, and cute boys at the campus Hillel. On Facebook, there were all these pictures and status updates of everyone’s fun in the city, ice skating in Prospect Park, eating ice cream on Avenue J, Saturday night house parties… It was just a bigger reminder of everything she was missing out on, and it seemed easier to stay away. Israeli sitcoms and early bedtimes were all she had to count on to fill her empty hours.

It was time for a change.

After work, she walked back to the girls’ house. As usual, Shira and Devorah Leah had gone back to sleep after their shift at the barn. She sat on Shira’s bed and kicked Devorah Leah’s mattress.

“Wha?” Shira asked groggily.

“I gotta do something. I’m gonna go crazy.”

“What’s your problem?” Devorah Leah said, lifting up her head slowly.

“My problem is that I feel like I’m an old lady. I need to have some adult interaction, do something fun for a change.”

Devorah Leah laughed at Gaby, and pulled her blanket over her head.

“Come on, please! Aren’t you bored of milking cows every day?”

Shira shrugged. “This is what we signed up for. We knew that this was the plan. It was gonna be a very laid-back year. Anyway, I like animals.”

“Well, I came here because I just wanted my mom out of my hair. I didn’t know I’d be babysitting the whole day, every day, for the rest of my life.”

“It’s not the rest of your life. It’s just for the rest of this year.”

“Very comforting.” Gaby pulled the pillow out from under Shira’s head. “Come on, you always know of something good to do.”

Shira grabbed her pillow back from Gaby and leaned against the wall, shutting her eyes. Then, her eyes still shut, she said, “Beit She’an has some bars and stuff we could go check out.”

“Awesome! DL, are you in?”

Devorah Leah shook her head. “That guy I met in Tzfat is coming over tonight.”

“Ohh, lucky,” said Shira.

“On that thought, please leave tonight. I don’t need you raining on my parade.”

Shira narrowed her eyes. “You can’t say that like that.”

“Like what?”

“Raining on my parade. That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Well, how would you say it, then?”

“How would I know? I left South Africa when I was six.”

They both turned to Gaby. She shook her head. “Are you kidding me? Are we having a conversation about this? Look how boring our lives are. This is an emergency situation.”

“Calm down, we just went to Tzfat like two days ago.”

“Tzfat was three days ago, and it feels like forever. So we’re on for Beit She’an or what?”

“Yeah,” said Shira. “But you have to find us a ride.”

“No problem, will do.” Gaby jumped off the bed. As she reached the door, she turned back. Shira had fallen back on her bed, and she looked like she was ready to go back to sleep.

“Get up before I pour water on you!”

“Okay, okay.” Shira sat up and rubbed her eyes.

“I’ll be back soon,” Gaby said. She left the door open, hoping that the fresh air would revive Shira a bit, and went to the office to see if anyone was leaving in the direction of Beit She’an, a medium-sized city not far from the kibbutz. As luck would have it, Oren, one of the kibbutz old-timers, was going in an hour and was willing to take them.

Gaby ran back to the apartment to get dressed, hoping Shira had gotten out of bed. Thankfully, she was in the shower, and Gaby went through her clothes to find something to wear.

Devorah Leah sat up on her bed, wrapped in her blanket, and watched Gaby waver between two skirts. “How come you never wear jeans?”

“All the clothes I have are from this girl that I went to school with, and she didn’t have jeans, so I don’t have, either,” Gaby explained.

“Want to borrow?” Devorah Leah asked.

“Yeah, that could be cool.” Gaby pulled off the long black skirt, a relic from her seminary days, that she had been wearing every day to
gan
. The skirt was so dirty; it was beginning to turn gray. She stepped into jeans Devorah Leah handed her.

“Nice,” Devorah Leah said.

Gaby looked at her reflection in the mirror, feeling frisky. “Hey, I like it. What tops do you have?”

“Hmm…how’s this?” Devorah Leah handed her a black fitted jacket with a colorful Japanese flower printed on the back. Gaby put it on. The jacket was cropped, revealing her belly.

Devorah Leah whistled. “Sexy lady!”

Gaby blushed. “I can’t wear this. It’s way too much. I’m gonna wear a tank top underneath.”

“Don’t do that! You have a hot bod. Why cover it up?”

Gaby shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I didn’t escape my school completely.” She took off the jeans and jacket, and got into the shower Shira had vacated. Afterwards, she spent a few minutes moisturizing her skin and blowing out her hair. When she left the bathroom, wrapped in just her towel, Devorah Leah and Shira were already dressed, drinking coffee.

“Hey, do either of you have any nail polish?”

“No, why?” Devorah Leah asked.

“I don’t know, I’m just in the mood.” She got dressed, admiring her body in the reflection in the fitted jeans and funky jacket. She spritzed herself with some perfume from Devorah Leah’s collection and ran her hands through her hair. “Okay, I think I’m ready.”

“Wow, all this just for me?” Shira joked.

“Yeah, I want you to be really into me.”

“You know I always am.” Shira linked her arm in Gaby’s. “We have to hurry up. We’re about to miss our ride because you, my princess, took so long to get ready.”

They ran to the front of the kibbutz where Oren sat smoking a cigarette in his dusty red pickup truck. The girls scrambled into the passenger side. “We’re here, we’re here. Sorry we’re late,” Gaby said.

“
Hakol b’seder
,” Oren said and started driving.

Gaby’s phone rang. It was Hillel. “Hey, baby, what’s up?”

“Good stuff. We’re going to Beit She’an to hang out. Shira knows some happening bars there.”

“You’re going without me?” he said plaintively.

“I know, I wish you were coming with us. But I needed to get out of the kibbutz, I was going stir-crazy. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

“Good, do that.”

Leave it to Hillel not to be jealous. “You’re not mad that I’m going, right?”

“What? No, go. Have fun.”

“Thanks, babe. You’re the best.”

“Just no kissing other boys.”

“No kissing? Not even one?”

“No, not even one. You’re only allowed to kiss me.”

Gaby laughed, pleased that Hillel was a little possessive when it counted. “Don’t worry, I’ll save all my kisses for you.”

“Uch, shut up, you two.” Shira grabbed the phone from Gaby. “Hi, Hillel, bye, Hillel.” She hung up the phone and handed it back to Gaby. “Here you go.”

“Um, thanks for that.”

“Come on, do I need to hear this mushy-wushy stuff?”

“God, I’m sorry. Tonight we’ll just focus on you.”

Shira made a face and Gaby said, exasperation making her voice rough, “Can we just have fun tonight?”

“Yes, fun. Let’s do fun. Oren,
mutar li
?” Shira pointed to the radio.

“
B’vakashah
,” Oren said.

Shira turned on the radio to full blast, and Gaby and Shira rocked out to folksy Israeli music until they reached Beit She’an. Oren dropped them off on the edge of a pedestrian thoroughfare and drove off.

The square was well-lit and full of people. Beit She’an was only slightly chilly even at this time of the year and people were dressed appropriately for the Mediterranean-type weather, wearing long-sleeved t-shirts and scarves slung around their necks. Restaurants and cafes lined the boulevard, serving Israeli and Middle Eastern food to groups of people sitting at tables on the sidewalk, enjoying their meals al-fresco. Shira pulled Gaby along until they got to an open bar.

“You like karaoke?” Shira asked.

“No, not especially, but tonight I’m up for anything.”

“I like that attitude,” Shira said approvingly. “Let’s go get some drinks.”

Gaby plopped down on a wicker-backed chair next to a checkerboard table and watched the karaoke stand where two people attempted to sing a song while doubled over in laughter.

A minute later, Shira walked back with a panicked expression on her face.

“What’s wrong?” Gaby asked.

“Chen’s here.”

“Oh no.” Chen was like this annoying bug that just wouldn’t go away, and Shira was not one to avoid scratching an itchy bite.

“What should I do?”

“Let’s go find another bar,” Gaby said desperately, trying to grab Shira’s hand and pull her away from this impending disaster.

“He invited me to sit with him.”

“Who cares? Let’s go somewhere else.”

Shira paused, and Gaby saw the battle was already lost. “Fine,” she said, resigned to the inevitable confrontation. “But at least make him come here. Don’t throw yourself all over him.”

“I won’t,” Shira said. She sat down on a chair next to Gaby, visibly shaken, her knees bouncing uncontrollably.

“Hello, you’re trembling. Calm down. Did you order drinks for us?”

Shira looked blank. Gaby sighed and rolled her eyes. Why did Shira care so much about him? What did he ever do for Shira that made him worthy of this type of everlasting devotion? “Fine, I’ll get them.”

She got up to go the bar and saw Chen walking toward them. That was a somewhat appeasing sign. At least he was willing to put in a drop of effort for Shira. Then her smile dropped. Right behind him, with a knowing grin on his face, was
Saar.