A Journey of the Heart Collection (12 page)

“Well don't this beat the Dutch.” The soldier had a friendly, smiling face. “You've gotta be Jacob. You look enough like your brother to be two peas out of the same pod.” The soldier stuck out a large calloused hand. “Isaac Liddle's my name, and Rand's my bunky.”

Jacob shook his hand vigorously. “Mighty glad to meet you. Got any idea where that rascal brother of mine is?”

“Probably at mess. Bugle sounded a few minutes ago. I was headed there myself. Just follow me.”

Shivering as much from nerves as from the cold, Sarah took Joel's hand and trailed behind Jacob and Amelia. She could hear shouts of laughter emanating from the officers' mess hall, and her stomach rumbled
as the wind brought a mouthwatering aroma of stew to her nose.

She allowed herself a moment to imagine Rand's delight when he saw her. His dark brown eyes would light with love and surprise, and he'd rush to fold her in his arms. She could almost feel his heart thudding under her cheek now. It was all she could do not to break out in a smile.

The room was brightly lit with dozens of lanterns, and the general feeling of high spirits and fellowship warmed her as much as the heat rolling from the pot-bellied stove in the center of the room. She scanned the room quickly as their presence caused the babble of voices to soften, then still. She caught sight of Rand sitting at the far table next to two women. His handsome, square-jawed face was tanned and healthy.

Her first impulse was to call out his name and run to him, but the expression on his face as he gazed at the young redheaded woman stopped her. Sarah didn't like the dazed smile on his face or the possessive hand the woman had on his arm.

She gulped as he looked up and saw them. “Rand.” She managed a tremulous smile.

He rose to his feet as the small party neared. “I didn't expect you for at least another week or two.” He grabbed
his brother's hand and pumped it, then hugged Amelia and Joel but didn't touch Sarah. “Hello, Sarah, Joel.”

“Who are all these folks, Rand?” The woman stood and slid her hand into the crook of Rand's arm. Her perfume, some exotic flowery scent, mingled with the scent of stew. “Introduce me to your friends.”

He hesitated and didn't meet Sarah's gaze. “Jessica, this is my brother Jacob; his wife, Amelia; a-and some friends from back home, Sarah Montgomery and her brother Joel.”

“Pleased to meet you all.” She turned a bright smile toward Jacob. “I've heard all about you, Jacob. Rand tells me you're the county boxing champion.” Her smile deepened into a dimple. “I'm Jessica DuBois, and this is my mother, Mrs. Major DuBois.”

The address sounded strange to Sarah, but that was how wives were addressed in the army. Jessica had aqua eyes and deep red hair that shimmered in the candlelight. Her skin was almost translucent, with a pale peach tint to her high cheekbones and full lips. Jessica's mother was a blurred image of her daughter with softer, plumper lines and a gentle expression.

“Please call me Letty, dear. Everyone does.” She smiled at Amelia and Sarah. “I'm so glad to have two
other women here at Laramie. We must get together for tea tomorrow. We ladies have to stick together. It helps the time go by. And you all are here just in time to help plan the wedding.”

“Wedding?” Sarah looked at Rand. “Whose wedding?”

“Why, mine and Rand's, of course.” Jessica hit Rand on the arm with her fan. “Why, you bad boy, haven't you told your family about us yet?”

“They had probably left Wabash by the time my letter got there,” Rand said, his eyes on Sarah's face.

Sarah felt as though she were falling. She couldn't catch her breath. How could he? How could he come out and get engaged in less than two months? She fought down the tight tears in her throat as she gripped Amelia's hand. She didn't want to give the other woman the satisfaction of seeing her cry. Did she know Sarah had once been engaged to Rand?

“Congratulations,” Jacob said after an awkward pause. “I had no idea you were seeing anyone.”

“Rand, our journey has been long. I think we all need a place to rest and recover,” Sarah said through tight lips. “Could you see about finding us a place to stay tonight?”

She just wanted to find a private corner where she could come to grips with this new reality—so very different from what she'd expected. Her face felt stiff, and if she relaxed her guard she'd fall apart.

“The quartermaster is by the door. Come with me, Jacob, and we'll get you all fixed up.”

Joel tugged on Sarah's arm. “How can Rand marry that lady when he's going to marry you?”

Jessica choked on her coffee. “Why, whatever does the boy mean?”

Sarah's face burned and she wanted to run away, but she lifted her chin, determined to preserve her dignity if she could. “Rand and I were engaged before the war. Rand and I have been friends all our lives.”

Jessica bit her lip and looked at her mother. “I see.”

Sarah forced a smile. “If Rand is happy, I'm happy. I want to be friends with you too.” She could sense Amelia's silent approval of her soft answer.

“Well, um, that's fine then,” Jessica finally muttered as Jacob hurried back over to them.

“We're all fixed up,” Jacob announced. “Let's go get settled. Rand will bring us over some stew after we get cleaned up.”

Sarah felt numb as she held on to her skirts and
followed the little party across the windy parade ground. How could all her hopes and dreams end like this? What could she do?

Rand led them to an adobe building. “Captain Leeks lives on the other side with his family, but his family never stays here in the winter. His wife and two sons will be back in May.”

He opened the door and led them into a narrow hall that opened onto a small, cheerless parlor. The room was cold and barren with plain plank floors. It smelled musty from disuse but had a lingering odor of smoke and soot. Sarah glanced around. At least they wouldn't sleep on the ground tonight, and they were out of the wind.

Rand knelt at the fireplace and poked at the logs. “I'll have it warmed up in no time.” He got the fire going, then stood. “I'll leave you to get cleaned up. I'll be back in about an hour with some supper for you.” He grinned. “Cooky likes me. When he hears we have two new ladies, he'll be glad to whip up something.”

“You're hardly limping at all now,” Jacob said.

“Horse riding and walking has strengthened my leg a lot.” He turned toward the door.

When he started toward the door, Sarah stepped into his path. She laid her hand on his arm, and the
muscles in his forearm flexed under her fingers. “We need to talk.”

Rand stared down at her and swallowed. “I'll be back later. We'll talk then.”

“Now, please.”

Rand sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Sarah, you need to unpack and get settled in. And we need to talk in private.”

He was right. What was there to explain? It was pretty self-explanatory. No wonder he wasn't eager to discuss it with her. Was this the same man she'd known all her life? She stepped out of his way and watched him pull the door shut behind him.

Amelia touched her shoulder. “Are you all right?”

Sarah's eyes burned, but she refused to let the tears fall. She had to be strong for Joel's sake. He'd been through too much, and she couldn't let him sense her despair.

She swallowed. “I'll be all right. I just need a bit of time to adjust.”

In the tiny kitchen there was a Sibley stove that Jacob soon had blazing. The warmth crept into the room and seeped into Sarah's cold skin, but nothing could reach her icy heart. A battered kettle sat on
the stove. She rinsed it with water from the bucket a private brought to the back door. First they'd have a cup of tea and then see to bathing the road dust off their sore bodies. She felt as though the fine yellow grit was in every pore of her body. She could even taste its gritty presence. She looked around the small quarters. Only one bedroom opened off the kitchen. Where could they all sleep?

“I'll bring over a couple more bunks,” Jacob said. “We can put one in the parlor and use it for a sofa during the day. You can sleep there, Sarah. I'll put another one in the entry for Joel, and everyone will have a little privacy. Just for tonight, you and Amelia can sleep in the bedroom, and Joel and I will put up in the barracks.” He hauled the hip bath down off its peg on the wall and set it in the small bedroom. He stuck his head out the door and asked a private to go down to the river and haul some water for bathing.

Even with several kettles of boiling water added, the bathwater was barely tepid, so Sarah bathed quickly. She was ravenous by the time Rand brought over a steaming kettle of stew and bread. They wolfed down their supper in ten minutes.

Jacob yawned. “I'm beat. I think the rest of us will
turn in. Good night, honey.” He kissed Amelia, then gestured for Joel to join them. The door lock snicked shut behind them.

Amelia stood. “Good night. Don't be too late, Sarah. I know you're exhausted.” She sent a stern glance Rand's way before stepping to the bedroom and closing the door.

The silence stretched between them. Sarah pleated the folds of her skirt and couldn't look at Rand.

He rose and paced to the window. “I never thought I'd see you again.”

“So it appears.” She forced the words out of her tight throat. “I came out to keep Amelia company.” She couldn't bear for him to know she'd come here expecting a much different reception. “I didn't expect to find you engaged so quickly though.”

Rand raked a hand through his brown hair and his lips flattened. “I know it looks bad, Sarah, but I had a lot of time to think these past few months. I like army life. The adventure, the sense of doing something worthwhile. Something that affects other people besides just my family. I want to be part of taming the West for my country.”

Sarah stared up at him. “What about your family
back in Wabash? You sound as if you never intend to go home.” Though he'd said as much back in Wabash, she'd been sure he hadn't meant it, not really.

“Tell me honestly, does the thought of living in the wilderness appeal to you? You were quick to let me go alone.” He knelt beside her chair. “Please try to understand.”

She inhaled his manly scent mixed with the pungent odor of wood smoke, then reached out and touched his cheek, rough with stubble under her fingers. Heat flared between them before he rocked back on his heels and stood. “All I want is for you to be happy.”

Hurt flashed in his eyes. “I never dreamed you'd follow me, Sarah,” he said hoarsely. “If I'd even suspected it . . .” His voice trailed off. “I've made a commitment to Jessica now. She'll make an excellent army wife. She's lived in frontier forts most of her life. It hurt when you didn't love me enough to leave your family for me. Jessica will go wherever I'm sent without a complaint. She understands soldiers and their duties.”

Rand turned his back to her and paced to the window. A bugle sounded in the distance. “She was here when I was hurting over your rejection. She let me know right off how she felt.” He wheeled around
to face her again. “What are you doing here, anyway? You said you wouldn't leave your father.”

“Papa's dead.” She touched his arm as she saw the hurt and shock register on his face, feelings that mirrored her own. “His heart just . . . gave out.”

“Oh, Sarah.” He ran a hand through his thick hair. “I really loved your pa. He was like a father to me.”

“He loved you too,” she said softly. “He spoke of you just before he died.”

“He did?”

She nodded. “He was gone just a few minutes after we'd talked. He told me—” She broke off and bit her lip.

“He told you what?”

“It's not important now. But I didn't want Amelia to be alone.”

Rand's mouth tightened. “Is that why you're here? Now that your father is gone and you don't have anything else to do, you came out here? It had nothing to do with me?”

Sarah looked down. “Do you love Jessica?” Her face felt so stiff she could barely move her lips. She had to know the answer, but her heart pounded.

“Not like I loved you. But she's been good to me.
She's very sweet and kind. I can't just throw her off like a busted saddle. I gave her my word.”

Sarah stared at him. “We said good-bye before you left. Nothing has really changed.” Tears burning her eyes, she stood and opened the door.

FOUR

W
hat do you mean she's gone?” Ben kicked at Wade's hound that had come nosing from under the porch of the Montgomery house. “Where is she?”

The wind lifted Wade's hair. “Off to find Campbell, I would guess. I checked at the train station, and she and Joel left with Jacob and Amelia.” He opened the door. “Let's get out of the wind.”