“Shit! What nigga don't want a big diva? The problem is keeping the nigga, because they always want to shine with a perfect ten, nice slamming body, and cute face. But when it come to sex, we know and they know that they want something to grab onto. You know you ain't never had no problem getting a man. It's just keeping him.”
“You right. Unless you find a fine-ass nigga like Booby who love a big girl. He used to just lay around and rub me, just rub all over me, and he made me feel so comfortable,” Joy said sadly, the alcohol fucking with her.
“Don't start, girl,” Kim said. “He'll be home soon enough.”
Kim was hoping in the back of her mind that Booby's time went fast, because that was her nigga too, and what they shared was unheard of. She didn't realize how close she had gotten to Booby and had started catching feelings from their little sexcapade. She was a woman with a lot of freak in her, and the only man who allowed her to do whatever she wanted was Booby, a man so comfortable with his manhood and with himself that he let her show him how good other things could feel. If it was freakish, he wanted to try it. If she said she'd seen it or heard that it felt good, he was down.
They both sat sipping on their drinks, looking around the club at the scenery, with the same man on their mind.
Joy started thinking about how he was a beast in the bed, and how the nigga slung dick like a porno star, keeping her body soaking wet as he fucked the hell out of her. As the thoughts ran through her mind, her body began to moisten. This was one night she wished Minke would call.
She picked up the phone and dialed him, but no answer. After several attempts, her calls still went unanswered. “Damn! I can't even get no dick. Bitch need that tonight,” she said, looking through her phone.
“Know what you mean. I'm gonna call my old faithful.” Kim pulled out her phone.
“Who you calling, Kim?”
“Yo boy, big Sizemo.”
“I ain't know you was still seeing him,” Joy said, with a speck of jealousy and not knowing why.
“Yeah, he finally came clean about his girl, but we still hook up. That big muthafucka will come through, eat this pussy, then bang it up and put my ass to sleep, and he be gone. We both know what it is, and it works. I just got to keep my feelings in order because he that nigga that will get your ass caught up if you not careful.” Kim smiled.
Kim thought she was telling Joy something she didn't know, but Joy had seen Sizemo run girls crazy. He was the cool-ass, down-to-earth nigga that girls had no problem feeling, but knew what time it was.
Kim sat on the phone for a few, and Joy watched as smiles kept coming across her face as if she was the happiest girl in the club.
“Fuck you keep smiling for? That nigga ain't sayin' shit,” Joy said, knowing Sizemo could overhear her.
Kim laughed. “Don't be mad because my dude whispering sweet nothings in my ear.”
“Sweet nothings, exactly,” Joy said, getting close to Kim's phone to make sure Sizemo could hear her. “That fat-ass nigga ain't saying nothing. Not a goddamn thing.”
“Tell her she better shut the hell up before I tell my man to go at her ass for getting out of line and sticking her nose in grown folk business.” Sizemo laughed.
Kim told her what he said, and they all had a laugh.
“Better tell him to come handle his fuckin' business. Shit! A bitch in need over here.” Joy said with a smirk, but serious as they come. Then she heard Kim tell him she was on her way home and hoped to see him tonight.
Kim hung up and was ready to go, and they made their way out and said their good-byes.
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Joy made her way home and walked straight upstairs to take a seat on her bed, deep in thought. She reached over and picked up the el she had sitting in the ashtray. Minke was her only thought as she allowed her mind to flow when she heard her phone vibrate.
She retrieved it from her purse thinking and hoping it was Minke, but to her surprise, it was Omari. She ignored it because she knew if he talked right he would end up in her bed. Only thing was, she knew Minke had a key to her house, and she really didn't want to give her love to another. So it wouldn't be good for Omari to come around while she was feeling like this.
Her phone began to vibrate again. She ignored the call but picked it up to call Sizemo. Why? She didn't really know.
He picked up on the first ring. “What the hell you want?” he answered, hyped up.
“Hi to you, fat boy. Don't get new,” she said with a smile in her voice.
“What's going on with you this time of night? And, no, I ain't coming around there. You belong to my man.” Sizemo laughed.
“Nigga, please, you crazier than a bitch, but know what, Sizemo? I'm getting tired of this shit. This nigga came back to me on that good shit, making me feel like I was that bitch and he was sorry for all the shit he did to me. But now I know that nigga doing his own thing and got me sitting here fucked up. I'm hurting inside, Sizemo, and I'm so lonely, I don't know what to do, ready to give a nothing-ass nigga some pussy. I've tried to play fair, but it's hard, real hard. I need love and attention too. I'm just talking to you because I have no one else to talk to.”
Sizemo could hear the hurt in her voice.
Over the last several months Sizemo had seen Minke come in and express his love and concern to Alecia then string her along. They'd had conversation in confidence about her and other bitches he'd been fucking around with. He also knew about all the shit Minke had in his head about her, and that he had moved in with another girl because he didn't feel like he could trust Alecia like he used to, but wasn't ready to let her go.
He also knew about the Dominican thing in New York that had Minke open, and that she was one reason why he spent so much time out of town. Minke had explained that he loved Alecia like no other woman, but he didn't ever think he could look at her the same as when he was married to her. Minke actually had more of his heart and trust into his Dominican thing, which actually started off as a jump-off.
And the new thing in VA that he moved in with was a must. He had to have somebody, and somewhere in VA, that would make him feel comfortable, and it wasn't Alecia. She was mad cool, but she had become more like a friend.
Sizemo always understood that dudes play, but as the years passed, he had become close to girls. So close, he felt bad for playing them, because he knew they deserved better. So he came honest before someone got hurt.
His relationship with Alecia had been so cool, he actually cared about her. He really didn't care for the way Minke treated her. Not that he played her, but he played her openly, shitted on her like she was nothing, and talked to her any kind of way, always making her feel like she was beneath him, like it was a blessing to fuck with him. Something he'd heard Minke say on many occasions. But in this case, he was doing it to someone he'd been knowing for a long time, someone he cared about and had built a personal friendship with separate from theirs.
“Look, Alecia, we been friends a long time. Now me and Minke like brothers, and I can't go against my man, nor can I play him. I'm talking to you as if you were my sister. Open your eyes and look at my dude as a man. A man. Don't look at him as your kids' father, not as your husband, but as a man. Then make your decisions. I'm tired of you crying and being hurt and running around here fucked up all the time. My dude is in New York. When he come back, y'all need to sit down and come to some solid ground. When we talk, he talks about his disappointment with you and all your friends, and you talk the same shit on him.”
“I ain't doing shit. I love that nigga like that, Sizemo. Anybody can see that shit.”
“Yo, Joy, you must've forgot who you talkin to. This is me. My man have called me from your house at twelve, one in the morning while sitting in your house smoking an el, calling you, and you don't answer your phone. He told me about dude popping up at your house and how he had to get down or the nigga would of fucked you and him up in front of Juan and Q. Shit could have gotten real ugly, and his ass could've gotten locked up. When niggas start pulling burners and shit, it aint good. He could've caught a body. You know how he live and how we get down.
Look, I ain't taking sides, and you know this, but I'm sayin, don't talk to me like you ain't doing shit, because you doing you. But y'all need to sit the fuck down because the only way it's gonna work is if y'all come real with each other,” he said, pulling up to Kim's condo.
“Yo, I just pulled up to your girl shit and getting ready to go in here and get nasty, straight freaky, then carry my ass home to my girl.”
“That's nasty. I don't know why niggas do the shit y'all do.”
“Yo, can't explain it to you, but that's how we do. All but Minke. He's true. He don't live like that. Never playing, that's my man,” he said, laughing.
“Yeah, nigga, laugh at your own jokes. Handle your business. I'll holla tomorrow.”
“Naw, I'm gonna check on you when I leave here on my way home. Don't answer the muthafuckin' phone and see what happen. I'm coming over there, and it won't be pretty,” he said as if he was serious.
“Bye, fool,” she said, hanging up.
Through all that conversation, at least he'd told her what she really wanted to know. Her man was in New York probably doing the same thing Sizemo was doing here.
As she thought about it, she caught a sad feeling. Then she realized that Sizemo had said he was going home to his girl each and every night, no matter what. She wasn't even that woman that Minke considered his main thing, the one he came home to every night. She really meant nothing to him.
She smiled, smirked, and shook her head to keep from crying. It was funny to her that her peoples had started calling her Pain as a joke, instead of Joy, because her attitude had become so hard and rude because of the pain she carried within her, making her unbearable sometimes. Her kids never knew who was gonna be coming home. All they knew was to stay out her living room and out her face, which wasn't hard, since they had their own rooms now. And work was the same.
The only exception was Minke. She was never rude with him. He dominated her, gave her a feeling of love and security, then he lost it. And after all these years, she was still chasing that feeling. That high of being Minke's girl, the woman he loved, wanted, desired, respected, and wanted to call wifey. But these days the chase was getting hard.
She stood up and took off her clothes, reached in her drawer that held all her toys and videos. Since Minke had found all her shit, it wasn't a secret anymore. And since he was hardly ever there, she thought,
Fuck it!
She grabbed her silver bullet and the white 10-inch dildo with the thick vein running up the side, which made it even wider. She'd nicknamed it Minke because pushing it up in her only brought him to mind.
She lay back and rubbed her already moist box, allowing her palm and fingers to gently slide across her clit, each time opening her legs wider because of the enticing feeling that came over her body each time. She reached for Minke and pushed him slowly inside her then turned him on low. Then she took her silver bullet and placed it on her clit, pulling juices already running onto her bullet, moving it slowly around on low. She let out a deep sigh of relief as her body began to soak in the feeling of ecstasy.
Just then her phone began vibrating.
“Damn!” she said out loud, reaching for the phone. “What, Omari?” she said, frustrated, before answering the phone. Then the picture of him eating her pussy flashed before her eyes, and the way he fucked would have her cumming all night, as horny as she was.
“Hello” she answered in a groggy voice as if he'd waken her out of her sleep.
“What up, Joy? I didn't think you were gonna answer,” he said as if he was excited.
“What up, Omari? What you want?” she asked sleepily.
“You. You still upset with me?”
“No, I'm over all that. I still think about you because of all we been through. I can't just say, âFuck you.” You in my heart, but you did me wrong. Then you turned around and disrespected me and put your hands on me,” she said sadly, and not really giving a damn. That shit was over and done with.
“Joy, I am sorry. For real, baby, I am sorry. All that shit wa'n't me. I was just messed up inside. You said fuck me when I was depending on you, really depending on you.”
“But I needed help. I was barely making it when you took my car. You weren't helping me, and you tried to hurt me worse.”
“Well, I need you to forgive me. I miss you, and I really miss your love. I need you, baby,” he said, almost in tears.
“I need you too, Omari, and I miss you like crazy, but . . .”
“But you with dude now, huh? That's your man, Joy?” he asked sadly. “That's why you moved on me and didn't let me know where you were? You didn't want me to know where you lived?”