A Home for Lily (6 page)

“You look different without your beard.” 
Lily said suddenly.

“Good different or bad different?”  He had
shaved the beard off for the first time in nearly a year.  Erin had hated the
beard, and he had to admit to himself that although he liked the beard, the
real reason he had kept it was to tick her off.  Of course, he refused to admit
that yesterday morning as he had stared at the razor in his hand, he had been
thinking of Lily and wondering if she hated beards too.

“Just different.”  She replied.

“You don’t like it?”

She shrugged.  “I liked the beard.”

He didn’t reply and she gave him a small
smile before staring out the windshield.  She was nervous about going to Rob
and Janet’s house.  It had been a month since she had started working for Logan
and while they had settled into a comfortable routine, she didn’t know that it
was appropriate for her to be tagging along to his friend’s house for dinner.

“Logan, are you sure about this?”  She
asked softly.

He nodded.  “Yes.  I told you – Janet
specifically invited you.  Stop worrying, Lily.  Janet is a very nice lady and
I have a feeling you two will get along great.”

* * *

“Lily!  It’s so nice to finally meet you.” 
Janet was short and chubby with long red hair and pale, freckled skin.  She
shook Lily’s hand firmly as a toddler clung to one leg and a child of about seven
hid behind her.

“It’s nice to meet you as well.”  Lily said
shyly.

“Rob’s been raving about your baking for
weeks now.  I hear you make a mean apple pie.”

Lily blushed.  “Oh, I don’t know about
that.”

“It’s true.”  Logan wandered over and
kissed Janet’s cheek affectionately.  “It’s not just the baking either.  She’s
also a great cook.”

He squeezed Lily’s shoulder briefly and
Lily’s blush deepened.  Neither noticed the considering look Janet gave them
before she picked up the toddler and kissed her cheek.  “This is Nicole and the
kid hiding behind me is Derek.”

“Hi there.”  Lily said.  “My name is
Lily.” 

Rob stuck his head into the kitchen. 
“Logan?  The game’s on and I’ve got a beer with your name on it.”  He paused. 
“What’s with the smooth face?”

Logan shrugged before glancing at Lily. 
“Just thought I’d try something different.”

“You look twelve years old.”  Rob snickered.

“Yeah, yeah.  At least I can grow a
beard.”  Logan rolled his eyes before leaving the kitchen.

Lily looked down as Hazel rested her head
against her stomach.

“Hi, Hazel.”  Janet said kindly.  “How are
you, baby girl?”

Hazel hid her face against Lily’s belly and
Lily stroked her hair softly before smiling at Janet.

“She really likes you.”  Janet said
quietly.  “That’s good.  I’m glad to see it.”

She turned to Derek.  “Honey, why don’t you
take Nicole and Hazel down to the basement to play?  I think your brother and
sisters are down there.”

“Alright, mama.”  Derek said agreeably.

He held his hand out to Hazel.  “C’mon,
Hazel.”

Hazel glanced up at Lily and she gave her a
reassuring smile.  “Go on, Hazel.  I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.”

Hazel nodded and took Derek’s hand.  He led
them out of the kitchen and Janet smiled brightly at Lily.

“Why don’t you have a seat?  Can I get you
some tea?  It’s about half an hour until dinner.”

“Sure, I’d love some.”  Lily sat down at
the kitchen table as Janet flipped the kettle on.

“So, Logan says that you and Rob have five
children?”

Janet nodded.  “That’s right.”

“You must be very busy.”  Lily grinned at
her.

“Yeah, that’s one word for it.  I love it
though.”  Janet sat down at the table and eyed Lily’s belly.  “Can I ask how
far along you are?”

“Just over seven months.”  Lily rubbed her
belly gently.

“Congratulations.”  Janet replied.  “So,
will you keep working for Logan after the baby is born?”

Lily nodded.  “Yes.  I – I know it’ll be a
bit more difficult with a newborn but I’m confident I can handle it.  Hazel’s a
very easy child.”

“She is.”  Janet agreed.  “I babysat her a
few times after Erin died.  She’s doing much better now.  She was almost completely
unresponsive in the first few weeks.  Has she spoken yet?”

Lily shook her head.  “No.  Her therapist
gave me a few ideas and techniques to try out but none of them have worked so
far.  I’m trying not to push her into talking but it’s hard.  I want her to be
able to communicate with us, you know?”

Janet nodded.  “I do know.”  She poured
them both cups of tea and returned to her seat.  She dipped the tea bag in and
out of the mug, swirling it in the hot liquid.  “So, Rob says that you’re a
widow?”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you.”  Lily looked down at her own
tea as Janet cleared her throat.

“Do you like working for Logan?”

“Oh yes.”  Lily said eagerly.  “He’s a very
nice man.”

“He is.”  Janet agreed.  “Not all women
appreciate that.”

“What do you mean?”  Lily asked curiously.

Janet shrugged.  “It’s just that sometimes
women can take advantage of Logan’s good nature.”

Lily’s hands were turning to ice and she
swallowed thickly.  “I would never do that.”  She whispered.

Janet gave her a startled look.  “Oh!  Oh,
honey.  I didn’t mean you, I swear.  I can see that you’re a lovely person and
would never take advantage of him.”

“Did – did Erin take advantage of him?” 
Lily asked hesitantly.  In the last month she had often wanted to ask Logan
about his dead wife but she couldn’t think of a way to do it without coming
across as nosy.  She was nosy, though.  There were no pictures of Erin anywhere
in the house and Logan didn’t act like a man who was mourning for his wife.  Of
course, she wasn’t acting like a woman mourning for her husband so she
certainly wasn’t going to judge him for that.

“Has Logan told you anything about her?” 
Janet asked.

Lily shook her head.  “No.”

“Well, it’s not my place to talk about
their relationship but I will say that Erin wasn’t very good for Logan or
Hazel.  I know this sounds like a terrible thing to say but both of them are
better off without her.”  Janet said darkly.

Lily blinked at her.  She was more curious
now than ever about Logan’s wife but Janet had already stood up and was opening
the oven door.  The delicious smell of roast beef filled the kitchen and Janet
smiled at her.  “I hope you’re hungry.  I’ve got enough food for a small army.”

* * *

“Did you have fun tonight, Lily?”  Logan
asked as he drove carefully down the icy streets.

“I did.”  Lily answered.  “Janet is really
nice.”

She stared out the window of the truck. 
Janet had asked her to go for coffee next week and she had been both nervous
and pleased by it.  She hadn’t had a real friend since high school, and she was
absurdly excited about having a woman friend again. 

“How about you, Hazel?  Did you have fun?” 
Logan asked.

There was a moment of silence and Lily
jerked with surprise when a soft voice said, “Yes.”

She stared wide-eyed at Logan.  He returned
the look, his face a mask of surprise and delight and, without thinking, she
reached out and took his hand.  He squeezed it tightly before smiling at Hazel
in the rear view mirror.

“That’s good, honey.  I’m glad.”

Lily’s heart was hammering in her chest and
she wanted to turn around and grin at Hazel but she made herself stare straight
ahead.  She continued to hold Logan’s hand and he squeezed it again as Hazel
cleared her throat.

“Lily?”

“Yes, honey?”

“When are you going to have your baby?”

“In a couple more months.”

“Are you going to leave after that?”

She turned and gave Hazel a reassuring
smile.  “No, honey.  I’m not.  I’ll still be your nanny even after the baby is
born.”

“Okay.”  Hazel stared out the window for a
few minutes before she glanced at Logan.

“Daddy?”

“Yeah?”  Logan’s voice was hoarse and Lily
could see tears gleaming in his eyes.  She squeezed his hand again and gave him
a trembling smile.  She could feel tears in her own eyes and she blinked
rapidly, trying to prevent them from slipping down her cheeks.

“Can I have some ice cream when I get
home?”

“Yeah, baby.  You can have some ice
cream.”  He replied.  “We all can.”

“Lily, let me take that for you.  You
shouldn’t be carrying that.”  Logan hurried to take the large wicker laundry
basket from Lily’s hands.  It had two plastic shopping bags in it and he
carried it over to the couch.

Lily laughed.  “It’s not heavy, Logan.”

She limped across the room and collapsed on
the sofa.  Logan placed the basket on the floor beside her.  “You’re limping
more today.”

Lily shrugged.  “I think I strained it
yesterday when I took Hazel sledding.  It’ll be fine.  I just need to rest it.”

Hazel leaned against her leg and stared
with interest at the shopping bags.  “What did you buy, Lily?”

“I bought some clothes for the baby.”  Lily
said brightly.  “Would you like to see them?”

Hazel nodded and Lily carefully emptied the
bags on to the couch beside her.

Logan frowned.  Lily was nearly eight
months pregnant and this was the first time he had seen her buy anything for
the baby.  The bags were from the local thrift store and as Lily began to lay
the clothing out for Hazel to look at, he frowned again.

“This is pretty!”  Hazel stroked a tiny
pink shirt and Lily grinned at her. 

“I thought so too.”

“It smells funny.”  Hazel sniffed at the
shirt.

“It’ll be fine once I wash it.”  Lily
shrugged.

“What’s this for?”  Hazel had climbed into
the laundry basket and was sitting in the bottom of it.

“It’s a bed for the baby.”  Lily said
absentmindedly as she sorted through the clothes.

“Babies sleep in cribs.”  Hazel replied.

“Not for the first little while.”  Lily
said.  “The baby will be small and she can sleep in the basket beside my bed.”

“That’s weird.”  Hazel announced.  “Clothes
go in laundry baskets, not babies.”

“Hazel.”  Logan chided gently.

“What?  They do.”  The little girl gave him
a look of confusion.  “Babies sleep in cribs.”  She repeated.

Lily was starting to look a little
flustered.  “That’s right, they do.  But sometimes they sleep in bassinets when
they’re first born.  She won’t need a crib until she’s a bit older.”

“This is a laundry basket.”  Hazel pointed
out.

Lily laughed.  “I know.  Bassinets are
expensive though and my mom said I slept in a laundry basket for the first two
months, so I’ll just use the laundry basket and then I’ll have more money for a
crib.”  She glanced quickly at Logan.

He was frowning at her and she felt a flush
of embarrassment.  “I’ll have lots of added expenses with diapers and clothing
and stuff.  I thought it would be best to save money wherever I can.” 

He nodded but didn’t say anything and she
stared down at the second-hand baby clothes.  She could feel the bite of tears
and she blinked them back fiercely.  There was nothing wrong with buying
second-hand stuff for the baby.  It didn’t mean she didn’t love her any less.

“Lily?  Are you alright?”  Logan asked
quietly.

She nodded without looking at him.  “Yes. 
My leg is just a little sore.  I’m going to go throw these in the wash.”

She gathered the clothes and limped out of
the room as Hazel climbed into Logan’s lap.  “Daddy?”

“Yeah, baby bug?”

“Does Lily love me?”

He nodded.  “Yes, she does.”

“I love her too.”  The little girl leaned
against him.  “Do you think she’ll love the new baby more than me?”

Logan hesitated.  “I think Lily has enough
love for both of you, honey.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Do you think she’ll let me hold her baby?”

“I’m sure she will.”  Logan replied.

“I’m going to go ask her.”  Hazel slid off
his lap and skipped out of the room.  Logan watched her go.  It had been two
weeks since Hazel had started speaking again and he still felt a little thrill
go through him every time he heard her sweet voice.  He stared moodily out the
window.  He had no doubt that Lily had played a large part in Hazel’s recovery
and he was more grateful to her than he could say.  Still, he felt a small
niggle of worry in his belly.  He was pretty sure that Lily wouldn’t leave
after she had her baby but he worried about how Hazel would react if he was
wrong.  She had formed a strong attachment to Lily and he was afraid she would
take it badly if Lily did leave.

She won’t leave.  She needs the money. 
She’s going to give birth in a month and a half and she’s bought hardly any
baby supplies.  She’s shopping for baby clothes at thrift stores and planning
on putting the baby in a laundry basket for God’s sake.

He suddenly jumped up and climbed the
stairs.  He stared up thoughtfully at the attic door access, scratching lightly
at the beard he had immediately regrown after Lily had mentioned she liked it,
and then jumped a little when he felt Hazel’s hand on his leg.

“Daddy?  What are you doing?”

“Just thinking.”  He smiled down at her. 
“Did you ask Lily about holding the baby?”

“Yes.  She said I could hold her and help give
her baths and everything!”  Hazel said excitedly.

“That’s good, honey.”  Logan took her hand
and led her back down the stairs.  “Come on.  It’ll be dinner soon and I think
we should help Lily cook tonight.  Her leg is sore.”

* * *

Hazel’s terrified screams woke him from his
own nightmare and he stumbled out of bed and staggered quickly down the hall. 
Hazel hadn’t had a nightmare for weeks now and hearing her crying and screaming
in the dark was heartbreaking.

He entered her room and nearly ran to the
bed.  “It’s okay, honey.  You’re okay.”  He said as he plucked her from her
bed.

“Daddy!”  She clung to him, shaking wildly,
and he kissed her damp cheek and rubbed her back as he carried her back to his
room.

“It’s alright, baby bug.  Daddy’s right
here.  Don’t cry.”  He said soothingly.

“I want Lily!”  Hazel sobbed.

He climbed into his bed and held Hazel’s
shaking body against his.  “Shh, honey.  It’s okay.”

“I want Lily, daddy!”  Hazel continued to
sob.  “Please, I want Lily.”

“She’s sleeping, Hazel.  It’s really late. 
You can see her in the morning, okay?”

“No.”  The little girl cried harder. 
“Please daddy, I want Lily!  Can we go to her room?  Please, daddy.  Please!”

“No, baby bug.  I’m sorry.”  Logan winced
when Hazel burst into loud, wailing sobs.  “Honey, stop.  You can’t see Lily
right now.  You can – “

“I want Lily!”  Hazel screamed hysterically
and beat at his chest with her tiny fists.  He tried to hold her flailing hands
down and she screamed Lily’s name again.  He had never felt so helpless in his
life, and he was just thinking about taking Hazel to Lily’s room when Lily
limped into his.

“It’s okay, Hazel.  It’s alright, I’m
here.”  She soothed.

“Lily!”  Hazel sobbed loudly and held her
arms out.  “Lie down with me.”  She pleaded.

Lily hesitated and then climbed into the
bed next to Hazel.  The little girl practically leaped into her arms and Lily
kissed her face repeatedly as she snuggled the little girl into her chest. 
“Shh, baby.  You’re okay.  It was just a bad dream.”

“Daddy…” Hazel whimpered.  She reached
behind her and tried to pull Logan closer.

He moved forward, pressing his chest
against Hazel’s back and kissing the back of her head.  Hazel was sandwiched
between them and he could feel Lily’s warm breath on his face as he rubbed
Hazel’s side.

“You’re okay, Hazel.”  He whispered.

The little girl made a watery, sobbing gasp
in reply and clung tightly to Logan’s hand as she buried her face in Lily’s
neck.  Lily continued to rub her back, her hand brushing against Logan’s naked
chest with every stroke, and rested her cheek on the top of Hazel’s head.

She made soothing, nonsensical sounds of
comfort until Hazel’s shaking had stopped.  She stroked the little girl’s hair.

“Better, honey?”

“Yeah.”  Hazel whispered.

“Good.”  Lily kissed her forehead.  “I’m
going to go back to my room now, baby.  I’ll see you in the – “

“No!”  Hazel’s voice was bright with panic
and she clung grimly to Lily.  “Don’t leave me, Lily.”

Lily glanced at Logan, her heart breaking a
little at the look of helplessness on his face.  She smiled reassuringly at him
before kissing Hazel’s cheek again.  “Alright, honey.  I’ll stay here with you. 
Go to sleep.”

“Promise you’ll never leave me, Lily.” 
Hazel whimpered.

Lily hesitated and glanced at Logan.  He
was staring at her, his eyes dark and unreadable, and after a moment, she
whispered, “I promise I’ll never leave you, Hazel.”

* * *

Lily sighed happily and pressed her sore
back against the heating pad.  Her lower back ached all the time now, and the
heat radiating into it felt delicious.  She squirmed a little closer to it. 
Dimly, she wondered what type of heating pad was large enough to heat her
entire back, but then decided she didn’t care.  The heat really did feel
wonderful and she was just drifting back to sleep when something hard and warm
cupped her breast. 

She forced her heavy eyelids up.  She
stared in confusion at the wall before the night came rushing back to her.  She
had been woken by Hazel’s screams and when Hazel had started screaming for her,
she hadn’t been able to ignore her desperate cries.  She had climbed into bed
with Hazel and Logan and –

She paused, her eyes widening as she slowly
looked down.  The last thing she remembered was falling asleep with Hazel’s
small body pressed up against hers and the sound of Logan’s soft snoring in her
ears.  She realized with something close to horror that the heating pad against
her back was Logan’s body, and his large hand was cupping her breast firmly.

Hazel!  Where was Hazel?

She scanned the room and was just in time
to see the little girl, yawning hugely, disappearing out the door.  She heard
her walk down the stairs and after a moment, the faint sounds of the TV.

She swallowed and stared blankly at the
wall.  She was in her employer’s bed and he was spooning her and cupping her
breast.  What the hell did she do now? 

You get out of his bed before he wakes
up and fires you for being a sex maniac, you idiot!

Right.  Excellent idea. 

She eased the covers back, desire pooling
in her belly at the sight of Logan’s hand cupping her breast through her thin
t-shirt.  Despite her fear that she would be fired, her desire was growing and
she could feel her nipple hardening against his palm.

Shit.  Get out of the bed, right now!

Before she could move, Logan snorted sleepily
and pulled her closer.  One large thigh crossed over hers, and she winced a
little when he pressed against her left one.  The pain was forgotten when he
kissed her neck and squeezed her breast tightly.

She gasped when he plucked at her hardening
nipple and her back arched helplessly when he tugged the loose neckline of her
shirt downwards and her breasts popped free.  Her nipples were hard and
throbbing, and she couldn’t tear her gaze away from them as she watched his
thumb circle around one tight nipple. 

Her lower body was on fire with need and
excitement and when he made a low groan she turned her head and stared into his
dark brown eyes.  They were hazy with need and confusion and he blinked at her
before whispering hoarsely, “Lily?”

She pressed her mouth against his, pushing
her tongue at his lips, and he groaned and opened his mouth as his hand
tightened around her breast.  With a low growl he pushed her on to her back and
shoved his thigh between hers.  He stared down at her naked breasts for one hot
moment before kissing her hard.

She wrapped her arms around his broad
shoulders, clinging tightly to him as their tongues stroked and rubbed against
each other’s.  He cupped her left breast, pulling hard on her nipple as she
arched her back and whimpered into his mouth.

He sucked on her bottom lip until she
moaned and then trailed a path of kisses down her neck.

“Logan.”  She moaned again.

“Lily.”  He whispered.  He traced her
collarbone with the tip of his tongue and she gasped and rubbed her pelvis
against his hard thigh.  His hand moved to her belly and he rubbed it through
her shirt, caressing it gently as he kissed a path of wet, hot kisses over her
chest.  He stopped just above her breast, and she made another soft cry and
arched her back, trying to press her nipple against his mouth.

He made a low noise of need before sucking
her hard and swollen nipple into his mouth.  He rubbed the tip of it against
his tongue and she clutched at his short hair, her fingers digging into his
scalp.

“Logan, that – that feels so good.”  She
whispered.

“You’re so lovely, Lily.”  He murmured
against her breast.  “Your breasts are gorgeous and I love the way your nipples
taste.”