A Home for Lily (4 page)

Hazel gave him a solemn look and Logan
chewed at his lip worriedly before running his hand over her soft, blonde
hair.  “It’ll be okay, baby bug.  We’ll face time later tonight so I can say
goodnight to you.”

He kissed her again and gave Lily a worried
look as he stood up.  “If Hazel has a nightmare – “

“She can sleep with me.  I don’t have a
problem with that.”  She said immediately.

“Actually, what seems to have worked best
in the past is if you bring her to my bed.  You just have to sit with her until
she falls asleep again.”  He said.

“Sure, I can do that.”  She smiled confidently
at him.  “It’ll be fine.  I’ll call you if I need anything.”

“Right.  Okay, I’ll talk to you later.” 
Logan gave her a final worried glance before leaving the house.

Lily smiled down at Hazel.  “Honey, do you
want to help me make breakfast?  I was thinking French toast.  Have you made
French toast before?”

Hazel shook her head but took Lily’s hand
when she held it out and followed her into the kitchen.

* * *

“Hazel!  Look at you, baby girl!  I swear
you’re getting bigger every time I see you!”

Logan whipped around at the sound of Rob’s
voice and stared in surprise at Lily and Hazel.  They were standing in the
doorway of the kitchen of the fire station, and Lily held Hazel’s hand firmly
in one hand and a plastic-wrapped loaf in the other.

She gave him a nervous look as Rob bent
down and tickled Hazel lightly.  “Hi, baby girl.  Have you missed your Uncle
Rob?”

Hazel ducked her head before burying her
face into Lily’s leg.  Rob stroked her head affectionately and stood up. 
“Here, Lily.  Let me take your jacket.”

“Thank you.”  She took it off and handed it
to him, blushing at the look of surprise on his face when he saw her belly.

Logan had crossed the room and he bent and
scooped Hazel up.  She smiled shyly at him before slinging her arm around his
neck and resting her head on his broad shoulder.  He rubbed her back as he gave
Lily an anxious look.

“Is something wrong?”

“What?  Oh – no, nothing’s wrong.  I just
thought it would be nice for Hazel to visit with you quickly.  I know you’re
home tomorrow but before we left for the library I asked her if she wanted to
stop in and see you.  She seemed excited by that.”  Lily said quickly.

“What’s that?”  Rob pointed to the loaf in
her hand and she smiled nervously at him. 

“I made some banana loaf and I thought
maybe you guys would like some.”

“Hell, yes!”  Andy appeared beside her and
he blinked at her belly before plucking the loaf of bread out of her hand. 
“Thanks, Lily!”

He carried it to the counter and elbowed an
older man with a crew-cut.  “Bill, slice this up.”

“Are your hands broken?”  Bill said mildly
but began to slice the bread as Andy went to the fridge for the butter.

“I’m sorry.”  Lily whispered.  “Should I
have not brought Hazel here?”

Logan smiled reassuringly at her.  “No,
no.  I’m glad you did.  It’s a nice surprise.”

He patted Hazel’s back gently.  “So,
everything’s gone well?”  He had spoken to Lily several times every day and
face timed with Hazel every night, and Lily had assured him that everything was
fine but he still needed to ask.

“Yes.  Everything’s been great.  Hazel and
I went to the mall and walked around yesterday, and today we went to the
library.  She picked out some new books.  I told her you would read them to her
tomorrow night before bed.”  Lily replied.

“I absolutely will.”  Logan grinned at
Hazel and she kissed him softly on the cheek before resting her small head
against his.

“Oh my God, this banana bread is
delicious.”  Andy appeared beside them and shoved another piece of the bread
into his mouth.  “Does everything you bake turn out this good, Lily?”

She blushed brightly and Andy grinned at
her.  Logan’s stomach tightened and he elbowed Andy lightly.  “Enough, Andy.”

Andy shrugged.  “Just complimenting the
lady, man.”

“Yeah, yeah.  Isn’t there a truck you
should be washing?”  Logan said irritably.

Andy grinned at him before winking at Lily
and walking away.  Logan watched him walk away before turning back to Lily. 
She was giving him an anxious look and he made himself smile at her.  “Thanks
for the bread and for bringing Hazel by.”

“You’re welcome.”  She said softly.  She
held her arms out to Hazel.  “Are you ready to go back home, honey?”

Hazel kissed Logan’s cheek and then allowed
Lily to take her.  She wrapped her legs around Lily, just above her belly and
put her arm around her shoulders.  Relief rush through Logan.  It was obvious
that Hazel liked Lily, and some of the tension and stress he had been carrying
lifted a little.

“Bye Logan.  We’ll see you tomorrow.”  Lily
said as she set Hazel gently on her feet and picked up her jacket. 

“You bet.  Bye Hazel.  I love you, honey.  Be
good for Lily.”  Logan watched them leave and jerked when Rob clapped him on
the back.

“What are you doing, man?”

“What do you mean?”

“You hired a pregnant woman as your nanny?”

He shrugged.  “She needed a job.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Rob shook his head before glancing at
Bill.  “There he goes again.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”  Logan said
indignantly.

“It means that you’re being a white knight again.”

Shut up, Rob.”  Logan said testily.

Rob shrugged.  “You can deny it all you
want but you’ve been like this since we’ve been kids.  Always wanting to swoop
in and save the damsel in distress.”

“In case you’ve forgotten, I needed a
nanny.  Lily was the best candidate for the job.”

“Really?”  Bill had joined them and he gave
Logan a shrewd look.  “What happens when she has the baby?  You gonna be one
big happy family?”

Logan rolled his eyes.  “She can still look
after Hazel with a baby.  I don’t have a problem with babies, hell I love kids,
so what do I care if there’s another one in the house?”

“Are you telling me that Lily isn’t in a
desperate situation?  That you didn’t hire her because she fed you some sob
story about how she was going to be out on the streets, pregnant and alone?” 
Rob asked skeptically.

Logan flushed and Rob looked to Bill. 
“Told you.”

“Shut up, Rob.”  Logan sighed.  “There’s
nothing wrong with helping a person out.”

“No, there isn’t.  But you’ve been doing
this your entire life and it’s never really worked out for you.  Has it,
Logan?  Do you want another Erin situation on your hands?”  Rob asked quietly.

“Erin was different.  Lily is nothing like
her.”  Logan said tightly.

“I’m not saying she is.  Listen man, I just
don’t want to see you get hurt again, that’s all.”  Rob said gently.

“I’m not going to get hurt.  Lily is
Hazel’s nanny, nothing more.”  Logan said firmly.

“Whatever you say, man.  Whatever you
say.”  Rob replied.

Lily jumped out of her bed and limped
quickly to Hazel’s room.  It was just after three in the morning and the little
girl was screaming and thrashing in her bed.

“It’s alright, honey.  It’s okay.”  She
soothed as she picked up the screaming, twisting girl.  She winced when one of
Hazel’s flailing hands caught her in the side of the head but held on grimly.

“Shh, baby.  You’re okay.  Come on, I’ll
take you to your daddy’s room.  You can sleep in his bed.”  She lifted the
little girl up and carried her down the hall to Logan’s room.  She slipped into
the room, rubbing Hazel’s back gently as the little girl clung to her.

“It’s okay, my sweet one.  It was just a
bad dream.  You’re alright.  No one’s going to hurt you.”  She whispered as she
sat on the side of Logan’s bed and rubbed and patted the little girl’s back. 
After about ten minutes, Hazel had stopped shaking and Lily pushed her back
gently until she could wipe away the tears on Hazel’s pale face.

“Better, honey?”

Hazel nodded and Lily kissed her sweet face
before easing her into the bed.  “Here, lay down and – “

Hazel made a high-pitched keening noise and
grabbed anxiously at Lily.

“It’s alright, honey.  Shh, I’m not going
anywhere.  I’ll sit right here until you fall asleep.”  Lily soothed.

Hazel shook her head rapidly and pulled on
Lily’s night shirt.  She squirmed over in the bed and gave Lily a desperate
look.

“Do you want me to lie down with you for a
bit, honey?”  Lily asked.

Hazel nodded and Lily climbed into the bed
beside her.  She pulled the sheets and the quilts up as the little girl wrapped
her small body around her.  She kissed the top of Hazel’s head and rubbed her
back gently.

“I’ll stay right here, honey.  Go to
sleep.  It’ll be morning soon.”  She whispered.

* * *

Logan shut the front door and kicked off
his boots before hanging his jacket in the closet.  It was just after six in
the morning and the house was still and quiet.  He walked down the hallway and
took a quick look into the living room.  His jaw dropped.  The formerly messy
and cluttered living room had been cleaned.  Hazel’s toys were stacked neatly
in the toy box and the piles of laundry had disappeared.  The carpet had been
vacuumed and the mantel above the fireplace had been reorganized and dusted. 
He wandered into the kitchen.  The appliances gleamed and the floor looked like
it had been freshly washed.

“Jesus.”  He whispered.  He was pretty sure
the house had never been this clean before.  He ducked his head into the half
bath on the main floor and shook his head at how shiny and clean it was. 
Moving quietly, he headed up the stairs.  He would check quickly on Hazel
before having a hot shower.  He stuck his head into Hazel’s room, his stomach
dropping when he saw her empty bed.  He felt a brief moment of panic and he
tamped it down as he turned and nearly ran to his room. 

The door was slightly ajar and he let his
breath out in a harsh rush when he saw both Hazel and Lily curled up in his
bed.  They were sleeping soundly and he stood silently next to the bed, staring
down at them.  Lily was sleeping on her side, the covers pulled to her
shoulders and one hand tucked beneath her cheek.  A strand of dark hair was
across her face and he was struck with the ridiculous urge to smooth it back. 
He clenched his hands into fists as his gaze moved to Hazel.  She was glued to
Lily’s back.  Her face was buried between Lily’s shoulder blades and he could
see the outline of her arm under the covers around Lily’s waist. 

He stared at them for a few more minutes
before stripping his shirt off and dropping it into the laundry hamper at the
end of the bed.  He would have a hot shower and if they weren’t awake by then,
he would –

Lily suddenly twitched and he watched as
she rubbed at her eyes before yawning and stretching.  She sat up and stretched
again and his eyes dropped to her breasts.  She was wearing a thin white shirt
and he could see the outline of her nipples against the fabric.  His cock
stirred in his pants and he cleared his throat loudly.

Lily made a quiet breathless scream and
stared wide-eyed at him.  “What - what are you doing in my room?”

“Um, it’s my room.”  Logan replied.

“What?  I don’t – “

She glanced around the room, and made a
small moan of dismay as she slid out of the bed and stood up nervously.  Her
hair was a dark cloud around her face and he could see the curve of her bare belly
where her shirt had ridden up.  She was wearing light pink shorts and he stared
at her slender, pale thighs.  Her right one was perfect but there was a long,
twisting scar on her left one.  It started in the middle of her shin and ran to
the middle of her thigh and it was a dark rose colour.

He made himself raise his gaze to hers. 
She was staring at his naked chest, her cheeks a fiery red and her full mouth a
perfect round ‘o’.

“Lily?”

“I’m not a sex maniac!”  She blurted out.

“What?”

“I mean – Hazel had a nightmare and so I
brought her to your room like you said to do, and she wanted me to lie down in
the bed with her so I did.  I must have fallen asleep.  I’m so sorry.  I didn’t
mean to fall asleep in your bed.  Please don’t fire me.”

“Lily, it’s alright.”  He said soothingly
as he held his hands up.  “It’s fine.  Just calm down.  I’m not going to fire
you.”

“I swear I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” 
She whispered.

“It’s honestly okay.  I’m glad you were
there for Hazel, really.”  He said quietly.

“I – why aren’t you wearing a shirt?”  She
whispered again.

He glanced at his bare upper body.  “I was
just going to go and have a shower.”

“Oh, right.”  She crossed her arms across
her chest and licked her lips.  “I’ll um, I’ll just go back to my room.” 

She glanced quickly at the sleeping Hazel
before she hurried from the bedroom.

* * *

Lily sipped at her tea and watched as the
people in the mall hurried past her.  Breakfast this morning had been
excruciatingly uncomfortable.  Despite his assurance that he wouldn’t fire her,
she had been mortified that he had found her in his bed.  She kept reliving the
conversation in her head, how she had blurted out that she wasn’t a sex maniac
and the look on his face when she had said it.

She sighed and took another sip of her
tea.  It wasn’t just what she had said.  She couldn’t forget the way he had
caught her ogling his naked chest.  It was a strong argument for her being a
sex maniac.  He had a beautiful chest; she could admit that to herself.  Barry
hadn’t been much taller than her and while he wasn’t fat, he certainly hadn’t
looked like he was made of granite.  Logan was big, really big, and he had a
perfect six pack and broad shoulders and a chest covered with hair that she
could easily imagine running her fingers through.

She blushed and stared down at her feet. 
Logan was her employer and she needed this goddamn job.  She needed to keep her
libido under control.  Truth be told, she was a little surprised by it.  She
had never really had a high sex drive, a fact that Barry had reminded her
repeatedly of, and she knew that was the reason Barry had started having
affairs.  To suddenly be so strongly attracted to someone, to find herself
wondering what it would be like to climb on top of Logan and –

She covered her face with her hand.  What
was going on with her?  Pregnancy hormones, she thought frantically.  It must
be the pregnancy hormones.  It was as good of an explanation as any.  Plus,
Logan really was a good looking man.  It wasn’t that surprising that she found
him attractive. 

What she needed to remember was that the
man had just lost his wife six months ago.  Just because she didn’t miss her
husband, didn’t mean that Logan didn’t mourn for his wife.  Besides that, he
didn’t find her attractive.  Her pregnancy had made her the size of a house and
even if she wasn’t, Barry had always said that she wasn’t that good looking. 
She had been lucky to land someone like Barry.  Lucky that he had seen past her
plain dark hair and oddly-shaped face, and too-small breasts and -

“Lily?”

She jerked, spilling hot tea on her hand,
and looked up.  Logan and Hazel were standing in front of her, and smiled at
them as she groaned inwardly.  After breakfast, Logan had bundled Hazel up and
taken her to a park to go sledding.  Worried that she would be encroaching on
their alone time and not wanting to wear out her welcome at their home, she had
decided it would be better if she wasn’t at home when they returned.  She
hadn’t received her first paycheque yet and she only had about twenty dollars
to her name, but it didn’t cost anything to people watch at the mall.  Unsure
of the rules about using his dead wife’s car when she wasn’t technically
working, she had left it parked in the garage and used her limited funds to
take the bus to the mall.

“Oh, hi!”

“Hi.”  Logan sat down as Hazel climbed into
Lily’s lap and rested her back against Lily’s round stomach.

“What – what are you doing here?”

He shrugged.  “Hazel was bored at home but
it was getting colder out so I decided to take her to the mall.  She needs some
new pants.  She’s starting to outgrow her old ones.”

Hazel twisted on Lily’s lap and rested her
hand on Lily’s stomach.  She rubbed it gently as Lily smiled at her. 

“Hazel, don’t do that, honey.”  Logan said
quietly.

“I don’t mind.”  Lily replied.  “I um – I
told her there was a baby growing in my belly.  I hope that’s okay.”

“That’s fine.”  Logan glanced at the people
walking by before giving Lily a curious look.  “How did you get here?  The car
was still in the garage.”

“I wasn’t sure what the rules were about
using the car when I wasn’t working so I thought, just to be on the safe side,
I would take the bus.”  She replied.

He frowned.  “You can use the car whenever
you need to, Lily.  Whether you’re working or not.”

“Alright, thank you.”  She smiled
gratefully at him.

“Okay, well I guess we’d better get
going.”  Logan stood and held his hand out to Hazel.  “Come on, honey.  Let’s
find you some new pants.”

Hazel frowned and slid off Lily’s lap
before grabbing her hand.  She held it firmly and stared at her dad. 

“Hazel, it’s time to go.” 

She pulled on Lily’s hand and gave her a
pleading look.  Logan crouched beside her.  “Hazel, this is Lily’s day off. 
Remember?”

A pout crossed Hazel’s face and her brow
darkened as she stared down at the floor. 

“Hazel, no pouting.”  Logan said sternly. 
“Lily can’t hang out with you all the time.  She has to have time to do her own
thing.”

“I wouldn’t mind going with you.”  Lily
said softly, unable to resist Hazel’s silent plea.  “If, you know, you don’t
mind me butting in on your time with Hazel?”

Hazel gave her father a hopeful look and
Logan smoothed her hair back from her face.  “I don’t mind at all.”

* * *

Lily picked up the soft pink sleeper and
stared delightedly at it.  It was adorable and she stroked it lightly before
checking the price tag.  The smile dropped from her face and she quickly placed
the garment back on the shelf.

An uncharacteristic wave of self-pity
washed over her.  Babies were expensive and they required a lot of stuff.  If
she couldn’t afford even a damn sleeper, how was she going to afford to buy a
crib, diapers, just the essentials, never mind any extras? 

It’ll be fine, Lily.  The baby won’t even
need a crib right away.  Hell, your mom told you repeatedly about how she kept
you in a laundry basket beside the bed when you were first born.  You have
three months to save up your money to buy the stuff the baby needs. 

She reached out and picked up the pink
sleeper again.  She would check out a few of the thrift stores in town.  Babies
grew so fast that it was ridiculous to buy them brand new clothes anyway. 
There would be nothing wrong with buying second-hand.

And when you have to pay for a motel
room four days a week after the baby’s born?  What will you do then?  That’ll
eat into your paycheque and you’ll never be able to save up for your own
place.  You won’t be able to live with Logan forever.  You have a year at the
most before Hazel starts school and he won’t need you.  Then it’s finding a new
job and daycare costs and rent.  How are you going to do that?

She swallowed, feeling tears threatening
again, and blinked rapidly.  She was so tired of crying and it wasn’t like it
was going to help her solve any of her problems.  She just had to take one day
at a time, and not waste time and energy freaking out about what would happen a
year from now.

“That’s cute.”  Logan’s voice spoke in her
ear and she jumped guiltily before putting the sleeper back.

“Yeah, it is.”  She squeezed Hazel’s hand
when the little girl stepped beside her and took her hand.  “Did you find some
pants?”