A Home for Lily (16 page)

“She probably needs to be changed.”  Lily
held out her arms and Logan passed the baby to her.  As she began to change
Rachel’s diaper, cooing softly to the tiny baby, he gave her a troubled look.

* * *

“It’s so good to be home.”  Lily sighed. 

Holding Hazel’s hand she walked into the
living room and shrugged out of her jacket.  Logan, carrying Rachel in her car
seat, winked at Hazel.  The little girl was nearly vibrating with excitement
and she tugged on Lily’s hand.

“Lily, come upstairs with me.”

“Sure, honey.”  Lily smiled at the little
girl.  “I should probably have a hot shower while Rachel is still sleeping.”

“Do you need help up the stairs?”  Logan
asked as Lily limped up the stairs gingerly.

She shook her head.  “No, I just need to go
slowly.”

When they reached the top of the stairs,
Lily turned to head toward her room and frowned when Hazel tugged again on her
hand.  “Come this way, Lily.”

“Honey, where are we going?”  She looked
over her shoulder at Logan who, swinging Rachel’s car seat back and forth
gently, just shrugged innocently.

Lily followed Hazel to Logan’s office. 
Hazel, grinning happily, opened the door and ran into the room.

“Surprise!”  She shouted.

Lily stared at the transformed room.  “Oh
my God.”  She whispered.

“Do you like it?  I helped Daddy paint it
and I said we should paint it pink because Rachel’s a girl!”  Hazel shouted
again.

“Not so loud, baby bug.”  Logan said
gently.  “Rachel is sleeping, remember?”

“Sorry, daddy.”  Hazel pulled Lily into the
room.  “Do you like it, Lily?”

“I love it.”  Lily said immediately.  “It’s
the most beautiful nursery I’ve ever seen.”

She studied the room carefully.  The walls
were painted a soft pink and large yellow flower stickers had been placed on
one wall in an artful display.  There was a change table and a rocking chair
and a small dresser that had a vase of flowers and a large photo frame display.

She walked to the dresser and stared at the
framed pictures.  Two of them were the maternity pictures Janet had taken of
her and Hazel.  The third one was the picture Janet had taken at the hospital
of the four of them.  She stared at the picture and blinked back the tears. 

“Lily?”  Logan was standing beside her and
he put his arm around her waist.  “Are you alright?”

“Yes.”  She whispered.  She hugged him,
wrapping her arms around his waist and clinging tightly to him.  “Thank you,
Logan.  I love the nursery so much.  I can’t believe you gave up your office.”

He shrugged.  “Rachel deserves a nursery
and it was too crowded in your room.  Speaking of which – I thought maybe we
should switch rooms.  My room is closer to the nursery and – “

“No.”  Lily shook her head.  “You’re not
giving up your bedroom.  You’ve already done way too much for us.”

“I don’t mind.  I – “

“No.”  She said firmly.  “It’s not that far
away and for the first little while, Rachel will be in my room anyway.”

“Daddy, can I sleep in the crib tonight?” 
Hazel asked.

Logan shook his head.  “No, baby bug. 
You’re a big girl and big girls sleep in their big girl beds, remember?”

“I guess.”  Hazel sighed.  “Lily, will you
read me a story?”

“Lily’s going to have a shower, baby bug. 
She’s tired and she needs to rest lots for the first little while.”  Logan
replied.

Hazel, her lower lip quivering and her eyes
filling with tears, sniffed miserably.  “I want her to read to me.”

Lily took Hazel’s hand.  “Come on, honey. 
Pick out a book from your room and we’ll lie on my bed and I’ll read it to you
while daddy watches Rachel, okay?”

“Okay.”  Hazel skipped out of the room and Logan
gave Lily an earnest look.

“Lily, you don’t need to baby Hazel.  I had
a talk with her yesterday about how you would be busy with Rachel, and she
needed to be patient and – “

“I don’t mind.”  Lily interrupted.  “She’s
uncertain and nervous about the new baby, and I think it’s natural for her to
need a little extra attention.  Would you mind watching Rachel?”

He shook his head.  “No, of course not.” 

She squeezed his hand before kissing his
cheek.  “Thank you, Logan.  I love the nursery.”

He stopped her before she could leave and
kissed her on the mouth.  “I’m glad you like it.”

* * *

“Lily?”  Logan opened his bedroom door and
peered worriedly into the hallway at her.  “Is Rachel okay?”

It was just after midnight and he had been
lying awake in the dark, wishing he was in Lily’s room with her, when he had
heard Rachel crying.

She nodded and held the wailing baby
closer.  “Yes.  She’s just wet and hungry and stupid me left the diapers in the
nursery.  I’m sorry to wake you.”

“That’s alright.”  He frowned when Lily
winced and placed a hand on her abdomen briefly.

He took Rachel from her.  “Here, I’ll
change Rachel.  Climb into my bed and I’ll bring her to you when I’m done.”

“I can go back to my room.”  She protested.

He shook his head.  “My bed is more
comfortable.  Go on, sweetheart.  I’ll just be a minute.”

He carried Rachel into the nursery before
she could argue. 

Lily climbed carefully into Logan’s bed. 
He was right, she thought ruefully, his bed was more comfortable.  She tucked
the pillow behind her and smiled when she heard Logan singing softly to
Rachel.  After a few moments, he carried the still-crying baby into the room
and placed her in Lily’s arms.  As Lily began to feed her, he left his bedroom
and returned with the bassinet.  Without speaking, he placed the bassinet on
the floor beside the bed before climbing into the bed next to Lily.

He leaned over and kissed Rachel’s soft
head as she suckled noisily at Lily’s breast.  “Is my baby bee a hungry girl?” 
He whispered before kissing her again.

He sat back and rested his large hand on
Lily’s thigh.  “She’s a good eater.”

Lily smiled.  “She certainly is.  Logan,
I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to wake you.  I promise I’ll be more organized
tomorrow night.”

He shook his head.  “You didn’t wake me. 
Besides, I don’t mind.  I used to help Erin with Hazel at night.”

“Did you?”  She asked quietly.

He nodded.  “Erin didn’t do well without
much sleep and Hazel was a colicky baby.”  He didn’t tell her that it had been
a necessity.  Erin had refused to do anything but feed Hazel during the night
and Logan had spent many nights walking and soothing the fussy baby.

Lily touched his hand hesitantly. “Logan? 
I know I keep saying this but thank you.  I’ll never be able to repay you for
everything you’ve done for me and I want you to know that I’m so grateful.”

He leaned over and kissed her lightly on
the mouth.  “I’m happy to help, Lily.  Besides, you deserve it.”

He put his arm around her and she leaned
against him.  They watched Rachel eat and Logan stroked Lily’s hair.  He
thought about what Rob had said in the hospital, about being in love with Lily,
and he closed his eyes.  Was he in love with Lily?  He cared about her a great
deal but he really did have a white knight complex, despite his protests.  Was
he helping her because of that or because of something deeper?  He sighed
lightly.  He needed to be careful.  Although Lily was nothing like Erin, he
couldn’t start another relationship based on his need to take care of someone. 
It had been an absolute nightmare with Erin and he wouldn’t put Hazel through
that again.  Besides, his feelings for Lily didn’t matter much.  She had made
it perfectly clear that what had happened between them was just a way to induce
labour.  She might have wanted him but she also wasn’t interested in a relationship
with her employer. 

He needed to take a step back and give Lily
her space.  The distance would help him decide whether his feelings for her
were based on his desire to help or something deeper.  He stared at Rachel and
Lily squeezed his hand.

“You okay?”

He nodded and pulled her a little closer. 
Later.
 He decided.  
I’ll give her some space later.  She’s just had surgery
and a new baby.  She truly does need my help.
 He rationalized. 
After
the six weeks are over, I’ll put some distance between us.

Lily took a deep breath and opened the
door.  Regina and Charles stood on the doorstep and she smiled at them. 
“Please, come in.”

They crowded into the hallway and Regina
gave her a nervous smile.  “You’re looking good, Lily.  How are you feeling?”

“Good.  I was a little sore the first few
days but it’s been nearly two weeks and I’m moving a lot better.”

“You’re not doing too much, are you?” 
Regina asked anxiously.  “It takes at least a couple of months to heal after
surgery.”

Lily shook her head.  “I’ve had lots of
help.  Come into the living room.”

Charles cleared his throat. “Is your
employer home?”

“He’s gone out for a few hours.”  Lily
replied briefly.  Logan had taken Hazel out for lunch and a matinee.  The
little girl was still struggling with accepting Rachel, and both Logan and Lily
had been making the effort to give her one-on-one time.

She led her in-laws into the living room. 
A playpen had been set up in one corner of the room and Rachel was sleeping in
it.  Regina made a small noise in the back of her throat and hurried over to
the playpen.  She stared down at the sleeping baby and wiped discreetly at the
tears on her cheeks.

“She’s so beautiful, Charles.”  She
whispered.

Charles nodded and squeezed her hand as
they stared silently at the baby.

“Go ahead and pick her up.”  Lily said.

Regina glanced at her.  “I don’t want to
wake her.”

“You won’t.” 

When Regina continued to hesitate, Lily
picked Rachel up.  The baby snorted softly but didn’t wake and Lily kissed her
forehead.  “Why don’t you have a seat on the couch?”

Regina nodded and she and Charles sat
down.  Lily placed Rachel in Regina’s arms before sitting in the armchair.

“She’s so beautiful.”  Regina repeated. 
She kissed Rachel’s forehead and beamed at Charles.  He reached out and stroked
the baby’s soft skin.

“Thank you for paying the hospital bill. 
That was very kind of you.”  Lily said quietly.

“It was the least we could do after how we
treated you.”  Charles said gruffly.

“We’re so sorry, Lily.  Truly, we are.  Thank
you for letting us see our granddaughter.”  Regina said earnestly.  “You have
no idea how much it means to us.”

Lily didn’t reply and Regina gave Charles a
meaningful look.  He cleared his throat again.  “Lily, we wanted to,” he
hesitated, “well, we wanted to offer you the chance to return to yours and
Barry’s home.  We’ve been talking and we know that how Barry treated you was
wrong and he should never have left the house to us.  It’s yours if you want
it.  We’ll sign it over to you.”

Lily stared in shock at Barry’s father and
he hurried on.  “We don’t expect anything from you in return.  The house should
be yours and Rachel’s and,” he glanced around the room, “it isn’t right that
you have to live in someone else’s home.”

“That’s very generous of you.”  Lily said
quietly.  “I – I’ll need to think about it.”

“Of course.”  Regina replied.  “Take all
the time you need.”

She stared at Rachel again.  “So,
everything’s going well with her?”

Lily nodded.  “Yes.  She’s actually, so
far, been a very easy baby.  I’ve been really lucky.  She eats well and we’re
already starting to get into a routine.”

That routine would change soon, she thought
to herself.  Despite her protests, she had spent every night in Logan’s bed. 
Each night as soon as Rachel started crying, Logan had appeared in her room. 
He would urge Lily to crawl into his bed while he carried Rachel to the nursery
and changed her. 

By the third night, tired of worrying that
Hazel would wake when Logan carried the crying Rachel past her room, Lily had taken
the baby to Logan’s room when they had retired for the night.  He had grinned
with delight when he saw her standing in his doorway and hurried to bring the
bassinet from her room into his. 

She couldn’t deny that she liked it. 
Sleeping in Logan’s bed, having his warm, hard body pressed firmly against
hers, was comforting.  It made things easier for her, as well.  When Rachel
cried, he was out of the bed and picking her up before Lily could even sit up. 
Most nights she never left the bed.  Logan changed Rachel and brought her to
Lily for feedings and the one night the baby had been uncharacteristically
fussy and out-of-sorts, he had walked her patiently back and forth until she
had fallen asleep.

Logan was going back to work tomorrow and
while she wasn’t nervous about being alone, she was already dreading the
thought of sleeping without him.  She had grown too accustomed to having him in
the bed with her and she sighed softly.  They had gone so far past the
employer/employee relationship it was ridiculous.  Yet, she had no idea if
Logan truly cared for her or if he just enjoyed having someone to look after, and
she was too afraid to ask.  If it was nothing more than his white knight
complex, it would crush her.

She sighed again.  This morning at three she
had fed Rachel and was just drifting back to sleep in Logan’s arms when his low
voice had drifted out of the darkness.

“I want you to keep sleeping in my room
when I’m at work.”

She had protested sleepily but he’d shaken
his head and pulled her closer against him.  “My bed is more comfortable, it’s
closer to the nursery and besides, Rachel is used to being in here.  She won’t
like it if you go back to your room.”

She had laughed and given him a gentle
poke.  “She won’t know the difference, Logan.”

“Yes, she will.”  He replied firmly. 
“Promise me you’ll sleep in my bed while I’m at work.”

She had given in quickly and he had smiled
with smug satisfaction before burying his face into her neck and falling
asleep. 

She realized Regina was speaking to her and
she gave her an apologetic look.  “I’m sorry, what was that?”

“I asked if there was anything you
needed.”  Regina said timidly.  “If there were any baby supplies that you were
missing or…”

She trailed off and Lily shook her head. 
“No, Logan is letting me use a lot of Hazel’s old baby things so I’m good.”

Charles frowned and opened his mouth but
Regina elbowed him in the side and gave him a pointed look.  He closed his
mouth with a snap and Regina smiled at Lily.  “Well, if you need anything just
let us know, alright?  We’d be happy to help.”

* * *

“I swear every time I see her, she’s
grown.”  Janet plucked Rachel from Lily’s arms and kissed her smooth cheek.  “I
can’t believe she’s nearly six weeks old, already.”

Rachel stared at her before a wide grin broke
out across her face.

“She’s smiling!”  Janet said delightedly.

“Isn’t it adorable?”  Lily grinned before
helping Hazel out of her boots and jacket.  She kissed the little girl’s head
fondly. 

“Baby bug, do you want to play with Nicole
or do you want to stay with me?”

“I’ll play with Nicole.”  Hazel replied.

“She’s downstairs, honey.”  Janet opened
the fridge door.  “Do you want a juice box to take with you?”

“Yes, please.”  Hazel took the offered
juice box and hesitated.  “You won’t leave without me, right mommy?”

Lily shook her head.  “Of course not,
honey.  I’ll be right here in the kitchen if you need me.”

Hazel left the room and Janet raised her
eyebrows at Lily.  “She’s calling you mommy now?”

Lily flushed.  “She started doing it a few
days after I came home with Rachel.  I corrected her the first few times but
she just ignored me.  I asked Logan to speak to her about it and he did but she
still does it.”

She gave Janet a hesitant look.  “I’m not
trying to replace Erin or anything.”

Janet rolled her eyes.  “Honey, Erin was a
shit mother and everyone knows it.  Hazel deserves to have a mother like you.”

“I’m not her mom though.  I’m her nanny.” 
Lily said quietly.  “In a year, Hazel will be in school and I’ll be out of a
job.  It isn’t right that I let her call me mommy, I know that, but I love her
and she’s been having a hard time adjusting to the new baby.  I don’t want to
make it worse.”

Janet jiggled Rachel gently and kissed her
chubby cheeks.  “Have you and Logan talked about your feelings for each other?”

Lily shook her head.  “No, but last night
in bed, he – “

“Whoa.  In bed?”  Janet grinned at Lily. 

Lily blushed.  “Logan’s room is closer to
the nursery and his bed is more comfortable and, as weird as this sounds, he
really seems to enjoy helping with Rachel in the night.  I tried to tell him he
didn’t need to help but if I don’t stay in his room, he shows up in mine the
minute Rachel starts crying and carries her to his room.  I finally just gave
up.”

She cleared her throat.  “We’re not uh, having
sex or anything like that.  It’s just easier with the baby.”

“Oh I know, honey.  You have to wait the
six weeks to have sex.”  Janet said cheerfully.  “But just think – when the six
weeks are done, it’ll be much easier to sex Logan up if you’re in his bed.”

Lily turned bright red and Janet laughed. 
“Although I still think you should have taken my advice and slept with him
while you were pregnant.  I cannot emphasize enough how amazing your orgasms
are when…”

She trailed off and stared thoughtfully at
Lily.  Lily bit at her lip and dropped her gaze to the table as a wide grin
crossed Janet’s face.

“Holy shit!  You had sex with him.  Didn’t
you?”

Lily didn’t reply and Janet reached out and
poked her.  “Spill your guts, girl.”

“We had sex the night before Rachel was
born.  I was so tired of being pregnant, and so I started walking up and down
the stairs to try and induce labour and Logan heard me.  He came out of his
room half-naked, and I almost had a damn orgasm right there.  All I could think
about was how much I wanted him and how you said sex could bring labour on.” 
The words spilled out of her in a rush. 

“And then I touched him, just his chest,
but he got this look on his face and then I might have said something about sex
bringing on labour and he might have said something about being happy to help.”

She glanced up at Janet.  “The next thing I
knew, I was naked in his bed and riding him like he was a damn pony.”

She blushed at her own boldness as Janet
laughed again.  “Awesome!  And?  Pregnancy sex is amazing.  Am I right?”

Lily nodded.  “Yes.  It was unbelievable. 
I couldn’t get enough of him and I was kind of demanding and stuff.  Poor
Logan.”

Janet rolled her eyes.  “Oh yes, poor
Logan.”

“I made him have sex with me five times
that night.”  Lily said with embarrassment.  “I think back to that night and
I’m so mortified.  He would start to drift off to sleep and then I’d wake him
up again.  He probably thinks I’m some sort of nymphomaniac.”

Rachel gave a short disgruntled cry and
Janet stood and paced back and forth, jiggling her lightly.  “Five times. 
Christ, no wonder your water broke the next day.” 

She laughed and kissed Rachel’s chubby
cheeks.  “So, are you going to sleep with him again?”

“I don’t know.”  Lily confessed.  “I told
him it could only be a one-time thing, that I just wanted to bring on labour,
and he agreed.  He hasn’t made any uh, moves on me or anything like that since
Rachel was born.”

She sighed.  “I think he’s lost interest.”

“He hasn’t.”  Janet said immediately.  “Logan’s
not stupid.  He’s not going to ask you to sleep with him before you’ve healed
from the C-section.  I guarantee you – he’ll be all over you the minute those
six weeks are up.”

Lily shook her head.  “He’s been sleeping
in the same bed with me for weeks and he hasn’t had, I mean, there’s no uh
indication that he wants me.”  She blushed again as Janet shrugged.

“Just because Logan can keep from getting a
stiffy when you’re in the bed with him, doesn’t mean he isn’t interested,
Lily.”

Lily gaped at her.  “Janet!”

Janet shrugged.  “You know I’m right.”

“Now,” she switched Rachel to the other arm
and cooed at the baby before glancing at Lily, “I’ve been meaning to ask if
you’ve let Barry’s parents meet Rachel yet.”

Lily nodded.  “I have.  They’ve been over a
few times when Logan’s out with Hazel.”

“Does Logan know?”

She shook her head.  “No.  He doesn’t want
them seeing her and I understand why but I really think they’ve changed,
Janet.  They paid the hospital bill and offered to give me the house that Barry
and I lived in, no strings attached.”

“Wow.  Are you going to take it?”  Janet
asked.

Lily shrugged.  “I don’t know.  Even if I
did, there’s still the matter of my job.  I need to live with Logan in order to
look after Hazel and besides, I don’t have many fond memories of that house. 
Logan’s house has been more of a home to me than that one ever was.  But I’m
going to need someplace to live once Hazel is in school and I’m out of a job. 
I believe that this is an honest gift from Regina and Charles and that they
truly just want to be a part of Rachel’s life.”