A Heart Renewed (14 page)

“You’re right… But, I can’t shake the feeling that something bad has happened.  I can’t explain it.  If he has done anything to hurt her or coerce her into marriage, there is no telling what I’ll do.”

“All will be well.”  She rested her hand on his cheek.  He hoped she was right.

Two weeks later, a plume of dust signaled riders coming in from the south late in the afternoon.  Other than the sleeping Mr. Flanagan, Hannah and Rosa were alone at the ranch.  The rest of the men, including Will, were out in the field with the grazing cattle.

Hannah debated whether or not to wake Mr. Flanagan.  He was certain to be tired after guarding the cattle last night.  Yet, she felt uneasy about the approaching riders.

Motioning Rosa to follow her into the ranch house, she quickly located the extra rifle Will left with her.  She loaded the gun, just in case.  As she cracked the door open to peer out, she saw a wagon’s canvas cover reflecting the bright sunlight.

Then it suddenly dawned on her.  The boys were back from California!

Throwing the door open, she propped the rifle on the porch and waited for the men to come into clearer view.  Sure enough, Ben Shepherd was riding in the front of the group.

A bleary-eyed Ian Flanagan emerged from the bunkhouse, pulling his suspenders over his loose cotton shirt.

“It’s alright, Mr. Flanagan!” she yelled across the yard.  He nodded, but stood watch until Ben stopped near the corral.

She walked the short distance as Ben dismounted.  “Welcome home, Ben!”

“Mrs. Colter,” he greeted with weary eyes.  “Glad to set sights on this place again.”

“When did you last eat?  Should Rosa and I get some food ready?” she asked, though it was mid-afternoon.

“Ma’am, we’ll be fine ‘til supper.  Mostly we’d like to take a dip in the lake and get cleaned up, after we see to the horses and wagon.”

She smiled.  “You might want to send one of the boys out to the pastures.  Let Will know you’re back.  I know he’ll be eager to catch up with you.”

Ben motioned Hawk over, one of the few men that still appeared to have some energy left.  After a brief conversation, Hawk mounted his horse again and rode off towards where the cattle were grazing for the day.

Hannah excused herself.  Hurrying back to the ranch house, she and Rosa started a few pots of coffee.  Half an hour later, she heard a horse riding in from the pasture.  When she looked out the window, only Will had returned.  The rest of the men must be staying out until supper, as usual.

She was trying to remember how many mouths they would have to feed when Will entered.

“Can you fix up something nice for the boys tonight.  There’s nothing like a good home cooked meal after being on the trail for almost two months.”

Reaching for the coffee pot, she raised it in question.  At his nod, she filled a mug for him.  “Rosa and I are already planning something special.”

“Ben will be joining us in here tonight.  I’ll want to talk to him about the drive.”

She nodded.

“Good news so far is that we didn’t lose any men.  Was glad to hear it.”

When a brief cloud of emotion masked his face, Hannah wondered how many men her husband had lost over the years.

“Anyway, I’ll leave you be,” he said, giving her a quick peck on the cheek before draining the last of his coffee and heading back outside.

The next morning, Hannah hurried to get breakfast on the table.  Today Will was taking her into Prescott to visit Betty Lancaster.  The last time she saw her friend was on her wedding day, almost two months ago.  She missed the older woman’s companionship.  During Hannah’s time at the boardinghouse, the two often talked for hours each day as they prepared meals, washed the never-ending stack of laundry, or cleaned the bunkhouses.  She tried to talk with Rosa but, it was not the same.  While Rosa could get by speaking English, she never seemed comfortable doing so.

Cracking the last egg in the mixing bowl, Hannah whisked the eggs together until they were smooth before pouring them into the hot skillet.  She started stirring to scramble the eggs when a wave of nausea hit her.  She hoped it would pass.  But, after another minute, she felt the bile rise.  Tossing the spoon aside, she ran for the front door.  Rounding the corner of the ranch house, she lost the contents of her stomach.  Bracing herself with one arm against the house, she took several deep breaths.

Running from the barn, Will dropped a pail of milk next to the front door.  He hurried to her side, concern written on his face.  “Are you alright?”

“I’ll be fine.  I just need a minute.”

“Are you sure?”

“Go, have your breakfast.  I’ll be in soon.”  The thought of food made her feel ill again.

He hesitated a moment before he picked up the milk pail and went inside.  As soon as the door shut, she heaved again.

Having gone through this before, she was now fairly certain she was with child.  She missed her last monthly and it seemed she was about to miss her next.  When she was carrying her first husband’s child, she had been ill for weeks sometime around her sixth to eighth week.  If she figured correctly she was about six weeks along.  That would put the baby due sometime in June.

They were going to have a child!

Her excitement quickly died when she remembered the fate of her first child.  What if she lost this one, too?  She would be crushed.  So would Will.  Maybe she should wait to tell him until she was further along—more likely to see the babe to term.  No, that was not fair to Will.  He would want to know.

Taking another deep breath of pine-scented air, Hannah squared her shoulders and entered the house.  When she inhaled the fragrance of the cooked eggs, she felt queasy again.  Once across the threshold, she made no move towards the table.  She closed her eyes and willed herself not to be sick again, afraid of worrying Will more.  Other than a dry piece of bread, she didn’t think she could stomach much food this morning.

“You’re not well.  I can see it on your face,” he said.  Taking her arm, he led her to a chair.  “Maybe we should postpone our trip to town.”

“No!”  She had been looking forward to this for days.  “I will be fine in a bit.  I’ll just eat a piece of toast then we can be on our way.”

Dark golden brown eyes pierced her gaze.  The worry on his face broke her heart as she held his gaze, unwavering.  She
would
be going to town today, despite the morning sickness.  Tearing off the corner of a piece of toast, Hannah nibbled slowly.  As she swallowed, she smiled at him, careful not to look at the food on his plate, lest her stomach chose to rebel again.

When he emptied his plate, he stood and retrieved the Bible.  He set it before her, as was their morning routine.  She barely had eaten half of the toast, but pushed the remainder aside.  Flipping through the pages, she found the marker in Matthew where she had been reading from the Sermon on the Mount.

“Therefore, I tell you, do not worry,” she started reading aloud.  “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”

Hannah paused.  Even after all this time, here she was, still learning how to give up her worries.  Amazing how God would put them here in these verses on the day she realizes she is with child.

She continued through the end of the chapter before closing the Good Book.

Will stared at her, worry and fear crossing his face.  Perhaps he struggled with the message of giving his worries to God, too.  Slowly, the worry faded from his features, turning to calm surrender.  With a sigh, he stood.

“How soon will you be ready to go?”

Hannah’s face lit up with a big grin.  “I’m ready now.  Rosa already agreed to take care of the dishes.”

“Let me get the wagon ready and I will be around to pick you up in a few minutes,” he said as he moved toward the front door.

She desperately needed this time with Betty and was grateful he didn’t stop her from going.

A few minutes later when she heard the wagon pull up, she went outside.  Will helped her up to the seat before joining her.

“You’re starting to look better,” Will said as the wagon neared the top of the first hill out of the valley where their home stood.

Hannah smiled as she turned toward him.  “Yes, the fresh air is doing me wonders.”

The day was perfect as were many days in the Arizona Territory.  While Hannah brought a shawl with her, she probably wouldn’t use it until the return trip this evening.  The sun was warm and the sky was deep azure blue.  She loved her new home.

“When do you suppose Julia and Mr. Larson will arrive?”  She carefully phrased the question to keep from implying the two were married.

“Probably within the week.”

Ah, he’s back to his short answers, she marveled.  When they first met, she had thought his short answers were a lack of interest.  Over time she came to learn that it usually met he was either nervous or preoccupied.  She figured it was the latter, given his sister was a touchy topic of late.

As the silence stretched, she struggled whether or not to tell him her news. 
What if I lose the child?
 

Do not worry.

No matter how much she worried, God was still in control.  He would care for her and this child.  Letting this truth settle over her heart, she decided to share the joyful news with her husband.

“I don’t want you to worry about me being sick this morning.  It’s a good thing.”

Will looked at her with one eyebrow arched.  “How is that a good thing?”

“Well, I’m sick because I’m with child.  We’re going to have a baby!”

Chapter 10

Did she just say what I thought she said?

Will stopped the wagon, his heart pounding fiercely within his chest.  He turned to look Hannah in the eyes.

“We’re what?”

“We’re going to have a baby, probably sometime towards the end of June.”  Her face flushed with excitement and her eyes gleamed.

“A baby…”  Will echoed. 

He was going to be a papa!  Joy bubbled up from within.  He hugged Hannah to him in a tight embrace before thinking that it might be bad for the baby to squeeze her so tight.

Releasing his hold, he said in awe, “I’m going to be a father!”

Her face glowed with overwhelming joy.

Moving closer, he lowered his lips to hers, showing her just how happy he was with the news.  When he pulled away, she was breathless and her blush went a deeper shade.  She was so beautiful, this mother of his children.

Clearing his throat, Will reached for the reins and set the wagon in motion again.  She scooted closer to him on the seat, looping her hand through the crook of his arm.

“How long does the sickness last?” he asked.

“Oh, I don’t know that there is any set time of when that goes away.  I know the last time I was with child, I was sick for several weeks.  Working with Drew, I learned it can be different each time.”

Will hoped it would not last long.  It would be so hard to watch her suffer and not be able to help.  “Last time, were you ill all the time, or just in the morning?”

“Mostly in the morning.  Then by the afternoon or evening I was ravenous.”

“Well, if you feel you need to rest more, please have Rosa pick up the extra work.  I don’t want you overdoing it.”

“I’ll be fine.”  She smiled up at him.

As they topped the last hill before descending into town, Will beamed, his heart overflowing.  He was going to be a father.  He secretly hoped it would be a son, but as soon as the thought came, he realized he would love a daughter just as much.  He would need to get started making a crib soon.  What else does one do to prepare for a baby, he wondered as he pulled the wagon to a stop in front of Lancaster’s Boardinghouse.

Setting the brake, he looped the reins around it.  After jumping down from the wagon, he walked around to the other side with a hop in his step.  Instead of holding out his hand to help Hannah down, he put his hands on her waist and gently lowered her to the ground.  Giving her a kiss on the cheek, he sent her inside to visit with Betty while he saw to other business.