A Dom Is Forever (29 page)

It was like she’d stepped into an alien world.

She watched with wide eyes as a diminutive woman in thigh-high boots walked past tugging on the leash of a massive man in leather undies.

Eve moved over, leaning her head close to be heard over the thumping music. “You should really prepare yourself for just about anything in this place.”

She was starting to see that. Whatever she’d imagined The Garden would be, it wasn’t this lush temple to sensory decadence. She looked around hoping to find Lee. Two steps out of the locker room and she already wanted his hand in hers. She felt weird and exposed without him. Like she didn’t belong.

Avery wished she’d taken Eve’s advice seriously. She really couldn’t breathe. The black and scarlet corset she found herself in was its own form of torture device. And the thong
thingee
kind of sucked, too. She had no idea why any woman would want to wear undies designed to be shoved between her butt cheeks.

“Are you all right?” Eve asked, her dark eyes lit with mirth.

Avery smiled back. Eve didn’t seem like a woman who smiled much. If her discomfort brought Eve a little amusement, then maybe it was a good thing. “I think my boobs are going to come out. Are they really supposed to be around my neck?”

Her boobs were big enough, but the corset took her to epic levels. She didn’t look pretty like Eve did. She looked overblown. Eve looked sleek and neat in her corset. Avery felt like she was going to pop out. And Liam hadn’t left her any shoes. Eve was taller in the first place, but after she put on her stilettos, Eve’s legs looked like they were a mile long. Avery felt like a hobbit someone had stuffed into lingerie.

“You look perfectly scrumptious. Lee picked it out himself. I was sure he would ask me to do it,” Eve said.

“Do you often pick out lingerie for Lee’s subs?” She couldn’t help it. Eve was intimidating. Gorgeous and graceful, Avery couldn’t help but wonder why Lee wasn’t interested in her.

Eve’s eyes widened briefly. “No. I have never done it because he’s never had a sub.”

“Never? But he talked about how long he’d been in the lifestyle.”

“Oh, he’s been in the lifestyle for years, but he’s never spent more than a night or two with a sub. He’s a bit of a
manwhore
, if you know what I mean.”

Avery shook her head and looked around, praying he couldn’t hear them. “Don’t call him that. He really doesn’t like to be called that.”

Eve’s face lit up, a bright smile crossing her lips. “I heard you had questioned his profession. Oh, my dear girl, you’re going to be so much fun. I wasn’t talking about him being an actual hustler. I was talking about the fact that he hasn’t settled down. He’s seemed content with one-night stands and hook-ups. I was very happy when he said he was bringing you here. It’s practically bringing you home to meet the family.”

The word “family” sat in her gut like a rock. She still couldn’t get Lydia’s words out of her head. Had she really done the wrong thing? Would she take it back in the hopes of pleasing her in-laws?

“Your Master is on his way,” Eve said, gesturing toward the door across the floor. Paths were laid out in cobblestone, weaving their way around the trees and bushes and patches of flowers that dotted the floor along with large areas dedicated to pleasure and pain.

Avery knew the minute she saw Lee that even if she hadn’t been wearing a too-tight corset, she wouldn’t have been able to breathe. He was gorgeous, six foot three inches of perfectly sculpted male in leather pants and a vest that showed off his chest to perfection. His black hair shone in the moonlight, the crystal of his green eyes making him look like a predator in his natural habitat. He stalked toward her, a panther in a primeval garden.

His eyes caught hers, and she wondered what the hell he saw in her.

“Don’t,” Eve said.

“What?” They were getting closer. Lee seemed to have found a friend, and they were both walking her way. His friend was just a little taller than Lee. Lee was an elegant panther, but the man with him was a gorgeous tank of a guy. What was she doing here? Everyone was beautiful.

Eve forcibly turned her, taking her attention away from the men. “Don’t start in with the insecurities. I’ve been watching you all night, and I can tell what you’re thinking.”

“Well, look at him. Am I wrong to wonder? I don’t belong here.”

“You don’t see yourself the way he sees you. I have very little time to impart something that could make the difference in whether or not this relationship works out so listen up. That man has changed since he met you and for the better. No matter what happens later on, know that. Do not let your insecurities come between you and potential happiness. You make the choice in how you see yourself. You can see your own beauty or you can warp your image until it’s so distorted you’ll never see yourself the same way again. Don’t ask why he’s here. He’s here and he wants you. He can’t fake that.”

He couldn’t, could he? And why would he bother? Still, Avery felt the nasty bite of insecurity as Lee walked up to her. He was so tall and strong. She was short and couldn’t walk for very long without falling on her face.

“Is that the way you greet me?”

Funny how he didn’t yell, but she had no trouble hearing him over the heavy gothic rock. It was like that deep, dark chocolate voice of his had a line to her ears that no amount of noise could overcome.

He held a hand out. She’d noticed that Eve had gracefully fallen to her knees, her head bowed in perfect submission. Avery looked at her, every line of Eve’s body perfect.

She couldn’t even get into position properly without a hand down.

Lee’s hand found her chin, tugging it up and forcing her to look at him. “Don’t compare yourself to her. She’s been doing this for a very long time.”

“I won’t ever be able to move like she does.”

He leaned in, speaking directly in her ear, his voice full of some unnamed emotion. “Perfection on the outside means nothing to me, Avery. We don’t do this like anyone else. This is ours. We’re not going to be like them, do you understand me? We’re just us. This is just you and me, and we do this our way.”

Tears threatened because it was the perfect thing to say. She realized now that he’d been trying to say it all week. He’d talked to her about how he practiced
BDSM
, but they would find their own way. There was no wrong way or right way. There was only their way.

She put her hand in his and allowed him to act as a balance as her knees found the floor.

“Not for long, love. The floors in the private rooms are better for your knees, but this is symbolic.”

Avery placed her hands on her thighs, palms up and spread her legs wide.

“I like the corset, Avery. It fits perfectly.”

She couldn’t help it. She snorted a little.

Lee’s hands tangled in her hair, pulling her head up so she met his eyes. “What was that?”

“Well, it’s a little ridiculous, Lee. It’s obviously too small,” she replied. She wished she’d taken a little thought with her words because his face darkened.

“You didn’t tell me she was a brat.” Lee’s friend stared down at her, disapproval plain on his handsome face.

“That’s because I didn’t realize she was one.”

Brat.
Damn
. She hadn’t meant to be. She’d meant to be self-deprecating. “I’m sorry. I was just trying to explain that I’m a little too fat for this corset.”

Eve sighed though she didn’t move at all.

“Did you just call yourself fat?” Liam asked, his jaw dropping slightly.

She was getting into so much trouble. “I was just being realistic. Tell me you never thought it.”

“I don’t think it now, and I won’t listen to you say it. I bought that corset because I wanted to show off my gorgeous sub, and you are acting like a brat in front of my friends. I told you that your behavior reflects on me. One of my jobs is to make sure you understand you’re beautiful and desirable, and you just let another Dom know that I haven’t been doing my job. Take my hand and get up.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t require an apology. I require obedience or you can safe word out.”

Humiliation swept through her system. She’d just been trying to be funny.

No. No, she hadn’t. She’d thought she could distance herself if she called herself fat. She’d been doing it for years. She’d claimed she was being funny or realistic when the truth was it took real actual bravery to see the beauty in her own body because so many people didn’t. So many people were waiting to tear her down, but did that mean she should do it first—or should she stand up for herself? Maybe no one could see how pretty she was until she believed it herself.

“I’m sorry,” she said with more confidence this time.

Lee wasn’t listening. “I told you I don’t require your apology.”

“I wasn’t apologizing to you. I was apologizing to me.”

He stopped, his eyes softening. He knelt down. “Are you being honest, love?”

She nodded. Eve had been trying to tell her. She’d lain in a bed for years, and every single day she’d vowed that she would walk. She’d believed, but now she wasn’t giving herself the same courtesy she’d given her legs. She couldn’t be truly beautiful if she didn’t believe, and this man was giving her the chance to find that power. “Yes, I am. And now I’m ready to get up. I’m not going to say my safe word, Lee. I want to be here. I need to be here.”

“I need to be here, too,” Liam vowed.
 
“Avery, no matter what anyone thinks, I think you’re gorgeous and you look amazingly hot tonight. It isn’t too tight. It’s perfect, and when we’re in this club or any other club, you’re going to wear what I want you to wear and you’re going to understand that I picked it because I want to see you in it. Are you worried about what other people will think?”

“Yes, but I’m trying not to because the truth is you’re the only one who counts. You’re the one I want to please so no one else matters.”

“Thank you, love. That’s what I want.” He leaned over and brushed his lips against hers.

“So we don’t have to do the punishment thing?” Maybe she’d talked her way out of it.

Liam shook his head. “Oh, no, we’re absolutely going to do that. We were going to start the evening watching my friends scene, but now I think the shoe is on the other foot. Alex, can you secure us a spanking bench?”

She bit her bottom lip. She’d read about spanking benches. She’d looked them up on the Internet. It looked like she was about to get very well acquainted with one.

“I’m sure I can make that happen,” Alex replied. “You can use the space I reserved for Eve and myself.”

Eve’s head turned slightly, her lips turned up in a little smile.
Told you,
she mouthed.

“Up.” Lee stood, holding his hand out.

She took it this time. She’d come here for a reason, and it hadn’t been to put herself down. In the days she’d been with Lee, she’d become so much more confident. Why had she just screwed up royally? She was dressing better, feeling sexy and alive. Why had she just fallen back into that old pattern?

Because of that phone call. Because she was still hiding so much from him. She’d told him about Madison, but she hadn’t pulled out the pictures, hadn’t made her baby real to him. She was still keeping her distance.

“What’s wrong?” Liam asked.

She put on a sunny smile. Baby steps. She’d take baby steps and pray they eventually got her to her destination. “Nothing. I’m good. Well, I’m going to be okay, though I suspect my backside is going to be a little red.”

“I think a nice pink will suffice this time.” His jaw tightened. “Are you sure there isn’t something you’re not telling me?”

So much, but nothing she felt secure sharing. She wanted him so badly. She couldn’t think about letting him go. She knew he wouldn’t stay forever, but just a little while longer. “No. It’s good, Lee.”

He took her hand, but that tight look on his face hadn’t disappeared. Maybe it was just his Dom face.

She walked around taking everything in. Despite having the look of a savage garden, the place was neat and clean. Flowers bloomed on a vine surrounding a scene space. A woman had been tied to a St. Andrew’s Cross, her curvy backside on full display as an enormous man dressed in leathers wielded a whip. Avery stopped and stared, wincing a little as the whip cracked through the air.

“It sounds worse than it hurts,” Lee said, his arm surrounding her waist and pulling her close. He spoke directly in her ear, lending an immediate sense of intimacy. Despite the fact that they were surrounded by others, it felt as though they were alone, the scene in front of her being performed only for them. This was how he made her feel when he put his arms around her—protected, adored. “Watch the sub’s back. Look at the slump of her shoulders. They’ve been playing for a while now. She’s already found her subspace.”

The sub’s head was rolled forward as though she didn’t have the will or the inclination to keep it up, but there was nothing in her body language that read like pain or weakness. Pleasure. She practically shivered with it every time the whip struck her flesh.

“How can it not hurt?”

“Because Damon’s an experienced top. He’s worked with a whip for years I would bet. What you hear is the snap of the whip, but depending on where and how hard he lands it, that’s what decides the level of pain. Look at the thin lines on her back. They’re pink, not red and they aren’t welting up. Now that’s not to say you won’t see some
submissives
who want welts, who need a higher level of pain.”

It was so confusing to her. “I’m struggling with the idea of hurting someone you care about.”

“Some people jog and love to work out because they get addicted to the endorphins. Some people get the same endorphins from pushing their bodies.”

“But with exercise your body gets something it needs,” Avery argued.

“And for some of these people they’re getting what their souls need. I’m surprised you’re being so judgmental.” He pulled her away, taking her toward the back. A frown sat on his face.

She seemed to be very good at disappointing him tonight. “I’m just trying to understand. I know we’ve talked about this all week, but seeing it happen in front of me is different.”