A Change of Heart (47 page)

"I thought you'd probably had enough of day-long car trips for a while, so I got plane tickets, if that's all right with you?" Doug asked.
 
"That way you can visit the gallery today, so you don't have to dread it."

"You're so thoughtful.
 
But you should let me pay you for the plane ticket.
 
After all, that's expensive.
 
And the trip is for me."

"Don't even think about it."

"Atlanta is huge!" she exclaimed as Doug took her on a tour in their rental car.
 
They drove through the inner city first, then headed out toward the fashionable Buckhead section where Doug had booked a suite at a pleasant hotel.

When they entered the room and looked around, Doug asked quizzically, "Should I have gotten two rooms instead of a suite?
 
That's a sofa bed in there." His voice lowered shyly, causing Annabeth to look at him with affection.

She walked closer to him, laughed briefly, then slapped his backside, causing him to laugh too.

"Woman!
 
Control yourself!
 
We have business to do."

She hugged him then and said, "Oh Doug, thank you for everything."

He hugged her back tightly, then led her out to the car.
 
He dropped her in front of the gallery, then motioned toward one of the many outdoor cafes in Buckhead.
 
"I'll be waiting at the bar."
 
Annabeth nodded, then her head high, she walked into the gallery, and received the same positive reception as in New Orleans.
 

After leaving the gallery, she resolved to buy some big old bookcases and dressers and paint them.
 
She could have sold those big pieces again if they weren't already sold, and for just as much money. And now she had more orders for some small things. Annabeth couldn't wait to tell Doug.
 
She glanced into the restaurant first, but of course, he'd said he'd be at the bar.

"Oh!" she exclaimed under her breath, pressing her hand to her throat.
 
Doug sat at the bar, talking animatedly to a woman whose hand lay on his arm.
 
They were leaning in toward each other, smiling and sharing an obviously tender moment.
 
Annabeth's stomach clenched as she stood there watching Doug.
 
A million thoughts of R.J. rose up in her mind and her head began to throb.
 
This was supposed to be different.
 
She wouldn't go through that again, not ever.
 
She turned to walk away, her mind a jumble, tears forming in her eyes.

Annabeth paced rapidly, covering several blocks as she tried to gather her thoughts.
 
She remembered R.J. and the teddy, R.J. and Linna, R.J. and countless others of whom she'd been blissfully unaware.
 
She thought of George.
 
But wait, this was Doug.
 
He was her best friend.
 
Going to be her lover.
 
Her….
 
She shook her head, breathing in the cold January air and pulling her too-thin coat tightly around her.
 
It wasn't just sex any more was it?
 
She was in love with him, really in love.
 
Maybe for the first time in her life. He wasn't R.J..
 
He deserved a chance to explain, so Annabeth walked back to the restaurant and into the bar.
 
Doug still sat with the woman, but when she walked in this time he spotted her, stood up, reached down and kissed his companion, then walked toward Annabeth.
 

Once they were seated at a table, Doug squeezed her hand.
 
"That was Sandra.
 
I never told you about her."

Biting her lip and looking into his eyes, Annabeth shook her head.
 
"No, you didn't."

He looked her straight in the eyes and said, "I had an affair with her.
 
When I was married to Robin."

The knots in Annabeth's stomach tightened as she listened to Doug talk.

"We worked together.
 
I knew her for more than a year before anything happened."
 
Doug saw the concern in Annabeth's eyes, and he continued, as honestly as he could.
 
"Robin never found out."

Annabeth shook her head.
 
"I don't think…."

"Not that that makes it all right.
 
I was never anyone special all my life.
 
Nothing with women compared to my dad and brother.
 
A pretty smart guy, nothing special, just ordinary.
 
Had this wife who ignored me most of the time and I figured I deserved it.
 
I was a dull guy.
 
Boring really, not much to look at, nothing special."

"You're nothing like that at all."

"That's what Sandra said.
 
We talked for hours.
 
She thought I was interesting.
 
And helpful and sensitive.
 
Considerate."

"You are all those things."

"Robin never thought so.
 
Never acted like that.
 
So anyway, one thing led to another.
 
We didn't mean for it to happen."
 
Taking a gulp of air, he continued, "And it was wonderful.
 
I got tenderness and praise.
 
Not just great sex but, um…recognition.
 
In her eyes I was a great guy.
 
So I began to see that I wasn't so bad.
 
Stopped comparing myself to Dad and Grady.
 
Became me."

Annabeth listened intently as Doug continued.
 
"I didn't want to leave Robin, though, or the kids.
 
They were still in high school.
 
Sandra helped me actually.
 
Said go to Robin, talk to her, try to work it out.
 
So I did.
 
Told her how I felt, what I needed, what I wanted.
 
And we tried.
 
Sandra left the firm, met a guy, married him."

"And you left Robin later?"

Doug laughed.
 
"She left me.
 
Met a doctor.
 
I couldn't compete with that.
 
Actually it was kind of a relief.
 
We never did make it work.
 
Then Dad called and I went back home."

Annabeth took a breath, then reached out her hand to Doug, covering his with her own.
 
"I understand, Doug, I really do.
 
I just think maybe we shouldn't sleep together on this trip.
 
I need some time to think about this.
 
It's not that I'm judging you or thinking badly of you.
 
I'd just like to wait a bit.
 
Is that all right?"

"I guess you are cured," he said glumly, then "Sure it's all right.
 
I understand.
 
I'm not going anywhere.
 
I have all the time in the world to wait for you.
 
I know you're worth waiting for."

She sighed then and squeezed his hand, wishing she could relent and go back to that nice hotel room with him, but knowing that she had to be sure of him and herself before beginning anything new.

In every odd moment after returning from Atlanta, Annabeth thought about Doug, trying to make sense of the infidelity.
 
His wife sounded awful, not loving at all, but maybe R.J. described her that way.
 
What if they were together and something went wrong.
 
Would he do it again?
 
Would she be hurt?
 
Realizing that this was the first time she'd ever stopped to consider the consequences of her actions before doing something, Annabeth was impressed with herself.
 
It was also the first time she'd ever thought about her own needs or safety.
 
It felt right at last.
 

Where before she was in the habit of talking to Doug every day, or every other day, nearly a week had passed with no contact.
 
She knew that he was giving her the space she needed and Annabeth was grateful.
 
When she wasn't trying to make sense of her relationship with Doug and the future they might have together, Annabeth worked with Sally on the details of the wedding.
 
One afternoon, Sally appeared at the door with Maggie, who carried a suit bag.

"I thought we should coordinate our clothes, and since my gown and Laurel's dress and your suit are here, I dragged Maggie over."

Annabeth looked at her old friend who was the picture of discomfort, and she smiled, trying to set Maggie at ease.
 
"Come on in.
 
Let's go upstairs and look at all the clothes why don't we.
 
Want something hot to drink?"

Annabeth and Maggie followed Sally who bounded up the stairs to her old room, where the wedding apparel hung, safely stored in garment bags in the now mostly-empty closet.

"Here it is," enthused Sally, holding up her gown for Maggie to admire.

"Oh," said Maggie, "Beautiful, just beautiful.
 
Oh try it on."

Sally slipped out of her jeans and sweater and into the gown, turning to Annabeth to do up the back.

"Beautiful," enthused Maggie and Annabeth simultaneously.

"And this is Laurel's dress.
 
She refused to wear a long gown, just this simple cocktail dress.
 
We think it's fine though, don't you?"
 
Laurel had chosen a seafoam blue dress of soft chiffon with a draped neckline and a swirling skirt.

Maggie nodded.
 
"Mine is blue too."
 
She opened her garment bag and removed a cobalt blue suit with a white lace blouse.

"Mom's suit is blue too," mentioned Sally.
 
We'll all match.
 
Except me."

"What?" said Maggie.

Sally removed the suit which Annabeth had bought.
 
It was a midnight blue velvet double-breasted suit with a slim skirt and satin collar and cuffs.
 
"Elegant, don't you think?"

Annabeth watched as Maggie's face fell.
 
"It's too much like mine.
 
We'll look like twins.
 
And mine was on sale.
 
I can't take it back."

Annabeth thought for a moment about her black velvet New Year's dress which would do just as well for the wedding.
 
Then she spoke up, "Mine came from New Orleans and I can't take it back either.
 
We'll just have to make do.
 
They're not the same at all."

"We shouldn't be in the same color," insisted Maggie.

Annabeth shrugged.

"I think it will all be fine," insisted Sally.

Maggie gathered up her dress, stormed down the stairs and out the door.

"Um, Mom," said Sally.

"Yes?"

"I drove her here.
 
I better go after her.
 
Don't worry.
 
I'll talk to her."

Annabeth laughed.
 
"Go on then, before she freezes and turns blue."
 
Pleased with herself yet again, she followed Sally down the stairs and walked back into the kitchen.
 
This not taking crap from people was getting to be a habit--a good habit.
 
She was tough!
 
She sat for a while at the table, doing very little, thinking now and then and occasionally laughing about Maggie and the look of outrage on her face when she didn't get her way.
 
Would Maggie have been her friend all these years if she hadn't always given in?
 
Briefly Annabeth hoped Maggie wasn't too mad at her, then, realizing it was a ridiculous thought in light of all that had happened,
 
she dissolved into peals of laughter, alone at her kitchen table.

When the phone rang, Annabeth half expected it to be Sally begging her to give in and save peace at the wedding, but instead it was Becky.

"I've found him!" she began with her usual intensity and enthusiasm.

"Found who?"

"Your future husband.
 
Well, Shep found him.
 
I told you he'd know someone perfect for you and I was right.
 
Dinner tomorrow night.
 
Actually he thinks it's a business dinner.
 
Shep didn't want to scare him off with talk of a date."

"Oh, Becky, I don't know.
 
There is someone already, but I'm trying to…"

Becky interrupted with insistence.
 
"Look you don't have to marry him tomorrow.
 
Just come to dinner.
 
I won't take no."

"Okay.
 
Just don't expect too much.
 
There's someone already I told you.
 
And Becky?"

"Yes?"