A Change of Heart (41 page)

"No man has ever cooked supper for me," said Annabeth to Doug, hours later when they stood together in his kitchen, preparing a meal.
 
"Your house is beautiful.
 
So gracious here right on the water.
 
And what a kitchen."

"I work too hard and don't cook often, but when I do, I like nice equipment."
 
Doug winked at her, squeezed her hand, then said playfully, "Like you, baby."

Annabeth smiled, but her look was distant.
 
Seeing him observe her, she knew what his next question would be, so she answered it before it was asked, "I've been cleaning out the attic."

"Oh?"

Feeling sad and nostalgic about R.J., yet conflicted; something was there under the surface and Doug could help her unravel it, she was certain, so Annabeth continued, "I found this black teddy."

"Yes?"

"Years ago, I had been cleaning out R.J.'s closet--I used to do it every month or so--he's a terrible slob.
 
Anyway, at the very bottom in a fancy box was this black teddy with red ribbons."

Doug's expression gave nothing away.
 
He listened intently, but made no remark.

"It was a size petite."
 
She laughed.
 
"I was never a petite.
 
Always too fat.
 
And too tall."

"You're not fat at all.
 
In fact I was thinking that you seem to be losing weight."

"Well, I'm no petite.
 
That's like a size four."

"I know."

"Anyway I thought it was so sweet of R.J.
 
I held it up to myself and thought how sweet it was of him to be hiding this gift for me.
 
Things couldn't have been so bad between us.
 
It wasn't even my birthday or an anniversary or anything."

"Hmm," said Doug.

"And he walked in and found me with it.
 
Looked so embarrassed.
 
Then he pushed me down on the bed and made love to me.
 
So fast.
 
He was always so fast."

"And I suppose the sex was great?"

Annabeth nodded.
 
"I concentrate, and it's always fine."

Doug smiled then became serious.
 
"What did he say about the size?"

"Oh he got all flustered then blamed the salesgirl.
 
Probably didn't want me to think he was some sort of bozo who didn't know what sizes mean."

"Could be," said Doug, clearly implying that there was more.

"He looked around the room, out the window, you know, like people do when they're feeling awkward."
 
Annabeth watched Doug's reaction to her story.
 
His expression was guarded, but in his eyes was a message, something she could see, but couldn't quite make out.
 
"Oh!
 
You think he lied?
 
That he picked the wrong size himself, with no help from a salesgirl?"

"Maybe," said Doug, his face still betraying no opinion.

"You just think he lied, don't you?"
 
Annabeth suddenly faced the truth.
 
"That teddy was never for me."

Doug's hand reached out to squeeze Annabeth's.
 
Looking deeply into her eyes, he gave her a quiet smile, something that comforted her.

"And he made love to me then to take my mind off it, to distract me from the truth, not because he was swept away by the idea of me in the teddy.
 
Oh, I see.
 
But at least he was good at the lovemaking."

Doug looked at her once again, silently, the look in his eyes a touchstone for Annabeth, who was replaying the scene in her mind.
 
He sat quietly, holding her hand, allowing her to review the past and glean from it the truth as she was ready to absorb it.

"You know," she said softly, slowly, thoughtfully, "He was always in a hurry.
 
Maybe he was never the world's greatest lover."

Doug nodded.
 
"Probably not."

"I saved that teddy all these years, wrapped in tissue paper, up in the drawer of an old armoire in my attic.
 
I always thought maybe one day if I lost weight, but really it wasn't that I was going to wear it.
 
It was just a sentimental treasure.
 
Of my husband's devotion."
 
Her voice trailed off then gathered strength, "But I threw it out today, even when I didn't realize."

"Good for you."

Annabeth smiled, but there were tears in her eyes.
 
Doug, in seeing them, reached for his handkerchief and gently touched her face, absorbing the moisture before the tears even rolled down her cheeks.
 
"I'm sorry," she mumbled, feeling silly.
 
Doug wrapped his arms around her, pressing her against his chest, allowing her to relax against him and be supported.
 
When he released his grip slightly, she leaned back in his arms and looked up at him, "Thank you so much.
 
I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come back to be my best friend."

He said nothing but a soft "Ah," and pulled her close again.

They sat down to the table then and talked of less serious things.
 
Later he took her on a tour of his house and they stopped in his den, which was a large and pleasant room, containing a big oak desk with many pictures of his children on it,
 
a solid filing cabinet, a large bookcase filled with leather-bound books and a comfortable couch.
 
"I plan to put a pool table over there.
 
I just haven't had time to shop for one."

"What's in this box?" Annabeth asked, seeing an opened box padded with newspaper on top of the filing cabinet.

"It's my baseball collection."
 
He reached inside and pulled out a baseball signed by someone famous whose name Annabeth thought she may have heard, although she wasn't certain of it.
 
"I'm going to have a cabinet built and put them on the wall.
 
Sometime when I get around to it."

Annabeth nodded.
 
"How many do you have?"

"Seventy-eight."

"Wow."

"I used to collect model cars too, but they're all down at work."
 
They sat down then on the couch and talked for a bit about collecting various things until Doug took a deep breath and said, "You know I had such a crush on you in high school."
 

"You're kidding!"

"I figured you'd never go out with me, though, so I didn't do anything about it.
 
Just stayed friends.
 
Well…."
 

"I had a crush on you too, but you were too smart for me, I knew that."
 
And now he had Patsy for his girlfriend.

"Too smart!
 
You're kidding."

"No.
 
I never thought anyone as smart as you are would ask me out."

"I was going to ask you out.
 
I mentioned it to Grady and he said…um…said he was dating you."

Annabeth's eyes opened wide.
 
"But why?"

"Just to give me grief I guess.
 
We had a fight about it the day you bought your car."
 
Annabeth watch Doug as he continued, seeing the tension on his face.
 
"Remember I asked you if you had dated him?"
 
When she nodded he said, "And you said no, so after you went on the test drive I went out to confront Grady.
 
I said 'You never slept with Annabeth,' and he said 'Slept with her?
 
You didn't even let me sell her a car.'"
 
Annabeth laughed, but Doug was serious.
 
"Then I said, 'I mean in high school.'
 
And Grady laughed, 'Oh yeah, I remember, I said I was fucking her.
 
So what if I did?
 
You could never take a joke.'
 
And he glared at me like I was the biggest jerk alive, and the thing was, I knew it was true.
 
I was a jerk to listen to him then and ever since.
 
So I hauled off and socked him on the jaw."
 

"You're kidding," she said, shocked. "He asked me out a few times recently."

Doug's eyes were shaded with concern.
 

"But I never went.
 
Just didn't make sense to me that a football star would want me.
 
Now I see--he was trying to use me to hurt you.
 
I'm glad I didn't go--at least the slut thing didn't kick in then."
 
She smiled at him and touched his hand.

Doug shook his head.
 
"A smart guy wouldn't want you.
 
A football star wouldn't want you.
 
Who did you think would want you?"

They answered that question simultaneously, "R.J."

Doug squeezed her hand.
 
"You have to stop selling yourself short, Annabeth."
 
He took a deep breath, hesitated, then continued, "You need a real man, not a jerk like R.J., someone like me."
 

Annabeth looked deeply into Doug's eyes, seeing the twinkling that was always there plus the light that came from within, and in it she took comfort.
 
Of course he'd say she needed someone like him; he was a loyal friend and he had a girlfriend now--he'd been over her a long time.
 
But he must still feel something or he wouldn't have socked Grady.
 
She would have to think about this when she was alone.
 
He squeezed her hand then and smiled at her, making his eyes twinkle even more.
 
Oh!
 
He was teasing her again.
 
She smiled back then and said, "Oh you're just thinking of me in that teddy.
 
Swept off your feet again."

Doug tossed her a wicked grin and said, "Nope.
 
Not at all.
 
I'm thinking of you without that teddy."

"Sure.
 
Keep dreaming."

He leaned in then, grasping her hair in his big hand and bent her head back against the couch, his lips coming closer, closer, closer to her neck, but stopping just beside her ear.
 
"You weren't meant for quickies, so wake up and think about it.
 
Imagine how it's going to be.
 
Hours.
 
Long hours.
 
Come on, Annabeth, you can't think straight, can you.
 
Can't breathe right.
 
Look at you.
 
You're mine."

Her eyes opening, astonishment on her face, a quickening deep inside her, she struggled to right her breath, to take control, to show him she could do it.
 
Hours, long hours.
 
How she wanted to say yes.
 
Hours.
 
She was about to reach for him, to turn her face toward his, to kiss him, to let it all happen, but then she thought of Patsy and Doug together, thought of all the times she'd given in when she shouldn't have, and although she knew this was different, she leaned away, took a deep breath, and said triumphantly, "I'm no nymphomaniac!"

His voice, strong and confident, his eyes merry, Doug said, "Yes you are.
 
Just wait."
 
Then they laughed together for a long time.

The next day, Annabeth and Sally toured the Women's Club with Julie.
 
It was located in an old house, one deeded over by a member who had no children to claim it after her death.
 
On a large piece of property, there was a lot out front for cars, street parking for any overflow, and several gracious rooms inside where many local events were held.
 
In the back was room for a tent, and of course the best thing about the location was that it lay on the water, so there was a pleasantly salty smell in the air.
 

"I went to a wedding held here," commented Julie, "And it was just lovely.
 
They used the front two rooms, had a buffet, and the bride came down this stairway."

"Who was that?" asked Sally.

"Katie Hemming, you know her, don't you?"
 
Both Annabeth and Sally nodded.
 
"Anyway it was really lovely."

"How many people were here?" asked Annabeth.

"Hmm," said Julie considering the crowd she remembered.
 
"Maybe seventy.
 
I'm sure not a hundred."

"That seems about the right amount, I think, what with us and Jackson's group and friends from school.
 
Maybe a few more.
 
Bank people.
 
Law office people.
 
And Uncle Chip will be coming back from California with his whole family, do you think?"
 
Sally asked.

"Gee, I don't know," answered Annabeth.
 
"Chip hasn't been home but a few times since he moved out West."