A Bit of Me (28 page)

“Eat, then I’ll explain before I lose my nerve.” He halfway expected Xavier to argue but the man just nodded and sat down after smiling slightly. Chase managed to eat about half his burger before his nerves shut down his appetite. He pushed the Styrofoam container back and wiped his hands on a napkin. Instead of taking the time and trying to sort out what to say, because he was afraid he’d end up not saying anything, he looked into Xavier’s eyes, the corners wrinkled faintly as the man frowned.

“James found me after—well, I’d been jumped by a group of guys, and James heard

them, or maybe me begging them to stop beating me before they killed me.” The memory of that, the begging more than the actual assault, sometimes ate at him. “I was young and dumb and thought I was invincible. Didn’t think anything bad could happen to me, and getting jumped in an alley seemed like something that only happened in movies. But if James hadn’t shown up, I’d most likely’ve been killed. All because some fuckers wanted my wallet then got pissed when there was only thirty bucks in it.”

Xavier pushed his own food away and placed his hand palm up on the table. “They

would have probably done the same no matter how much you had in your wallet,” he said as Chase placed his hand in Xavier’s.

Chase nodded. “Probably. But anyway, I wasn’t homeless or hustling, nothing like that.

I’d just moved out on my own and thought I knew everything. I’d been a difficult kid, I don’t know why, but it kind of drove a wedge between me and my parents. They always told me www.total-e-bound.com

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I’d wind up in trouble, and I refused to let them be called. I didn’t want them to know they’d been right.” His pride had been damaged, but not that much, more fool him.

“So James tried to help me. I don’t know why except that’s just the kind of man he is.”

Chase shook off memories of being in the hospital and the strangeness of having someone he didn’t know become a quick and loyal friend. “I always had trouble letting people close, like I was born defective that way or something, but James refused to go away, even when I yelled at him or threatened him. He just…wouldn’t leave me alone.”

Xavier’s smile chased some of the sadness from his dark eyes. “I like James more and more.”

Chase nodded. “Yeah, I did, too, and it pissed me off. I thought he was interested in, you know, a relationship or something. It scared me, and made me an easy target for Abel—

he was one of the lab technicians at the hospital. He’d take my blood and every time he came in I felt like he was fucking me with his eyes. I felt…dirty, and like I deserved to feel that way for being such a fool. And he knew that, somehow, he used that against me instead of trying to help me.”

Xavier’s eyes narrowed and his expression darkened, anger thinning his full lips to a flat line. He squeezed Chase’s hand and cupped his other hand around it. “Tell me what happened.”

Chase needed the prod to get his tongue unstuck from the roof of his mouth. “Nothing as bad as you think, probably. He didn’t rape me, but I think that’s what he intended, eventually. I’d let him get away with groping me, figured I had it coming.” Chase shrugged.

It’d been a stupid way to think, but his head had been a mess. “I woke up in the middle of the night with my hands tied to the bed rails and my hospital gown being shoved up to my armpits. I tried to kick but my ankles were tied, too, and before I could get more than a breath drawn in to scream, Abel shoved a wad of gauze in my mouth. Started talking about how he was going to train me to be his ‘boy’ and shit.”

Xavier stood so fast his chair tipped backwards as he came around the table and knelt at Chase’s side. He wrapped his arms around Chase’s waist and rested his head on Chase’s shoulder. “Tell me someone kicked his ass, Chase. Tell me James showed up…”

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Chase shuddered even as he twisted around and held Xavier, one arm around his back

and the other hand pressing to the back of his head. “Not quite. He left me there for hours while he just touched me, prodding at bruises and telling me how much he liked it when I flinched or cried out. He said he’d take me home where he could take the gag out and really hear me scream when he hurt me. And I couldn’t get free, all I could do was lie there and pray he wouldn’t do…more. He didn’t. He got off on seeing me afraid. Eventually he untied me and pulled the gag out, and promised he’d be back the next night.”

“Did you tell James?” Xavier rumbled, his breath warm against Chase’s chest. Chase

petted his hair and let the silky strands slip between his fingers. “No. I didn’t want him to see me as a victim again, and I didn’t know him or trust him. I was an idiot. And Abel made sure to tell me about how his daddy was the district attorney and would make sure Abel never got in trouble. He told me to keep my mouth shut, and I did. I thought I’d leave the hospital, but Abel had friends. I ended up drugged to the gills the next day, unable to stay awake. I don’t even remember James being there. I just remember coming to and being tied and

gagged again, and pain…Abel made sure I had reason to scream even if I couldn’t. He was careful, keeping to places already bruised, or using the pillow to suffocate me until I nearly passed out. A few times of that and you stop being scared, just stop caring if he didn’t lift the pillow up the next time.”

It shamed Chase, being a victim again. He’d felt so helpless, and his pride that had kept him silent was decimated by Abel’s sick games. “It took me a long time to accept that I wasn’t at fault. Maybe I still haven’t accepted it fully. If James hadn’t become suspicious after me being drugged the second day, if he hadn’t shown up in the middle of the night and snuck past the nurses…I don’t think I’d be alive now.”

“Jesus,” Xavier muttered, his hold tightening as he looked up at Chase. He swallowed noisily and opened his mouth but Chase shook his head. He needed to finish and get this done with because he never wanted to talk about it again.

“James came in and saw me tied like that, saw Abel with that fucking pillow, and he

went nuts. If James’ parents had been any less influential than they are, he’d have ended up in jail. I thought he was going to kill Abel. That’s the only time I’ve ever seen James lose his www.total-e-bound.com

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shit, and he almost killed Abel that night. It took more nurses and doctors than I could count to get him off Abel.”

Xavier’s teeth ground together loud enough Chase could hear it. “Good. I hope he

broke every bone in the fucker’s body.”

“A few,” Chase admitted, unable to look away from Xavier even as shame burned his

cheeks. “What with security cameras and a little digging into Abel’s past, even his daddy couldn’t get him off. Abel ended up with a twenty-year prison sentence once other men started to come forward. His daddy left the state, and last I heard Abel was serving a life sentence since the cops had linked him to a couple of murders.”

“It probably makes me a horrible person, but I hope his life sentence doesn’t last long,”

Xavier snarled. “Maybe someone will kill the sick bastard.”

“I’m angry too,” Chase said, only now acknowledging the depth of it to himself, and

Xavier. He’d kept that anger repressed and told himself he was past it, but the truth was he still burned with it. “I didn’t realise how angry I still am until I started talking about it. I kept telling myself I moved past it, but I haven’t, I guess.”

Xavier pulled away a bit and brought a hand to Chase’s cheek. “You can, sweetheart.

He doesn’t have any power over you unless you give it to him. And I want him dead, but you’re alive, and I’m grateful for that, enough that I can keep from paying someone off to snuff that fucker’s life out with a spoon or whatever. And I’m indebted to James, more than I thought I was just for him being important to you. I’ll do whatever it takes to help you, and him.” He wiped at something on Chase’s cheek, spreading moisture that Chase was too tired to be ashamed of. “Thank you,” Xavier murmured, then leaned in and kissed Chase so

tenderly he had to close his eyes as his vision blurred with tears. He let the rest of his past go for now, knowing he’d tell Xavier soon enough, and let his lover hold him and comfort him through the night.

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The second day on the road wasn’t any less tiresome than the first, but being only a few hundred miles from their destination made Chase restless. Every time Xavier glanced at the man, he was fidgeting or nibbling his lip—the lower one was now puffy and red, and

reminded Xavier of the way Chase’s lips looked after he’d sucked Xavier dry.

Driving with a hard on was a real bitch, and Xavier would have gladly pulled over and got a room—and some relief—but Chase wanted to head straight to the Stratton’s since it was dark rather than wait until the following night.

He’d had Xavier put on a dark T-shirt at the last gas stop in preparation to skulk

around and Xavier had muttered that he’d felt like a stereotypical cat burglar. Chase had told him better that than feeling like some stereotypical idiot on
Cops.
Sometimes there was no point in arguing.

Once they hit Billings, Xavier’s bottom lip was likely as swollen as Chase’s. Nerves were trying to kick in, doubts giving them a big shove, but Xavier wouldn’t let them take hold. He ignored the little voice that asked if Chase was worth going to jail for. It wouldn’t come to that; he trusted Chase to keep them out of trouble—legal trouble, at least. And that was fine with Xavier.

Besides, if he had to, he’d admit that anticipation was lighting up his spine. He’d hate to, but he’d admit to having that same pinging adrenalin rush he used to get as a dumb kid when he broke into someone’s house.

“This hotel is good.”

Xavier nodded and pulled into the chain hotel. After he got them checked in, they took their duffels to the room. Xavier had barely dropped his on the bed when he was spun around and tackled. His back hit the mattress hard and his teeth clacked together, then Chase’s lips were pressing down on his, with his tongue spearing into Xavier’s mouth.

Xavier parted for him without hesitation, lips and legs opening to cradle Chase’s

warmth between them. Chase cradled his cheek, stroking his face as he plundered Xavier’s www.total-e-bound.com

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mouth. Xavier bent and lifted his legs and locked his ankles beneath Chase’s butt and pulled.

If that wasn’t hint enough, he didn’t know what was.

Chase growled and thrust against Xavier’s groin. He tightened his hold on Xavier’s

face, and the kiss became fierce as desire burned bright between them. When Chase lifted his head high enough to stare into Xavier’s eyes, he looked as horny and needy as Xavier felt.

“Going to fuck you,” Chase gritted out and Xavier swallowed nervously before nodding.

This was what he wanted, had wanted for a while now, but today the thought of it had gnawed at him, clawed at his belly and balls. He wanted Chase, and he needed it like this, a bit of rough and snarl, a match for the nerves that kept rippling through him. Chase had needed tender, slow loving, but Xavier needed something else. And if he hadn’t believed Chase loved him, this wouldn’t be happening, he reminded himself when a trickle of fear tried to spread.

Xavier pulled Chase back down and plunged his tongue between his swollen lips.

Xavier writhed beneath him as they rubbed against each other. His cock ached, the friction caused by their bodies grinding together simply not enough. Xavier dragged his hands down to Chase’s butt, letting his nails scrape here and there where he knew Chase liked it. He cupped those firm globes then squeezed, driving Chase’s next thrust even harder against him.

Chase’s hands slid up, fisting in Xavier’s hair and pulling his head back. Xavier arched his neck, letting Chase have at his heated skin. Chase did, marking Xavier, sending goose bumps skittered down clear to his knees.

His own need to lay claim ripped at him and Xavier heaved, rolling Chase onto his back and straddling his hips. Xavier nibbled a path from Chase’s lips to the soft skin below his ear, then Chase was clawing at his shirt. Xavier heard a rip right before he sat up and took the hem from Chase and pulled the shirt off. The shirt had barely cleared his head before Chase attacked his nipples, pinching the hard peaks then twisting them and dragging a low groan from Xavier.

Chase grinned but the heat in his eyes was enough to make Xavier’s ass clench in

anticipation. Then Chase’s expression softened and his hands caught at Xavier’s when he started to unfasten his pants. Xavier arched a brow at Chase and cocked his head to the side, www.total-e-bound.com

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a mannerism of Chase’s he unthinkingly mimicked. “What’s that look mean?” It made Xavier want to float right up, because buried there in the depths of Chase’s eyes was the love Xavier knew the man felt for him.

Chase smoothed a hand up Xavier’s waist, across his stomach then up to his ribs. He

used his other hand to tug at Xavier’s wrist, and Xavier gave way, letting Chase pull him down. Chase kissed Xavier’s open palm, and if he hadn’t already been ass over teakettle for him, that likely would have done it for Xavier. It was a tender kiss, chaste but sweet, and Xavier had no defences against it or the man beneath him.

Xavier leaned a little more and let his eyes close as his mouth merged with Chase’s. He trailed his tongue over the warm soft flesh of Chase’s bottom lip, then slipped his tongue inside his mouth. Chase moaned softly and wound his fingers between Xavier’s, turning sweet and loving whereas moments earlier he’d been every bit as ravenous as Xavier.