A Bit of Me (27 page)

sped down the highway.

“You’re being awfully quiet.”

Chase dragged his gaze off the hand that had only a couple of hours ago brought him

off so hard he’d thought he’d die from the pleasure. He followed the line of Xavier’s arm up to his shoulder, then to the tanned skin of his neck where a faint purple bruise showed.

Chase’s heartbeat kicked up a notch at that. He’d been surprised when Xavier had let him mark him. “Just thinking,” he finally murmured when he couldn’t seem to look away from that little bruise.

Xavier didn’t say anything else, letting a comfortable silence fill the car. Chase was still a little stunned by the way Xavier had agreed to accompany him without question. Well, he’d had
one
but his coming along hadn’t been contingent on the answer. He’d only wanted to know if Chase had a plan. Chase’s affirmative answer had been good enough for Xavier, he hadn’t asked anything else, just nodded and gave Chase one of those kisses that made his insides turn to warm molasses or some equally syrupy sticky stuff. Then he’d proceeded to www.total-e-bound.com

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make arrangements with Troy for the bartender to run the club while they were gone. Less than forty-eight hours after Chase asked him, Xavier was driving them to Montana. It kind of boggled Chase’s mind.

“I figure his parents have to be visiting him,” Chase blurted out as he looked out the passenger window. Not that he could see much, it was all rather a blur. “They always drove him nuts with their hovering and sticking their noses in his business.” Chase shrugged, pushing aside that little bit of envy he always felt over that. “There’s no way they just dumped him somewhere and aren’t checking on him, at least once a day.”

“Hmm.” Chase could hear Xavier’s fingers tapping on the wheel,
tap tap t-tap tap.
“So maybe they aren’t in Montana, then? Didn’t Shearing say something to that effect?”

“Yeah.” Chase closed his eyes and leaned his head against the cool glass. “But I know their alarm combination, James made sure of that. And even if they changed it, I can get in.

There’ll be something there that will tell me where they are. Receipt, number on the caller ID, crap like that.” They wouldn’t expect Chase to insist on finding James. They had always thought he was shiftless, dangerous. Crazy.

Maybe he was, sitting here telling Xavier he was willing and able to break into someone else’s home. Sure, he’d broken into Xavier’s, but that had been different. They’d both wanted him there, whereas Mr and Mrs Stratton would have his ass in jail so fast his head would spin if they caught him.
And I’m dragging Xavier into this?

“You have to stay at the hotel or whatever when I go to their house—”

“No,” Xavier said calmly…fucking implacably. Chase rolled his head and looked at him out of the corner of his eye. Xavier didn’t seem angry, his profile wasn’t pinched or anything like that, but that single word had fairly vibrated with the potential for an argument if Chase dared to challenge it. Which, perversely, made him want to do just that. Xavier didn’t give him the chance.

“You asked me to come with you, and I agreed. I would have asked if you hadn’t,

anyway. But you
did
ask, and I am perfectly fine with you deciding how this will all be handled, but I won’t be left behind letting you do all the dirty work, take all the risks.

Imagine if I asked that of you.” Xavier eased the car around a sharp curve as he talked, never once glancing away from the road.

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Chase sat up and twisted his torso around to glare at the man fully. “You don’t have any experience—”

“How do you know?” Xavier interrupted. “Really, Chase, how well do you know me?”

Chase frowned. “I know you’re a good man and an honest one—”

“Maybe.” Xavier’s lips curled up as he navigated another turn. “Now, at least. But you don’t know anything about my past other than that I took Billy in, do you? For all you know I may have a criminal record.”

“Do you?” Chase asked, thinking if Xavier did it couldn’t have been his fault. Xavier finally glanced at him before giving the car more gas.

“No, but only because I never got caught,” Xavier admitted. “And it would have been

sealed, anyway, because I was quite a little thug when I was a kid. All the way down to wearing the baggy pants that hung past my ass.”

Chase goggled trying to picture it. He just…couldn’t. “You’re messing with me, aren’t you?” His hands throbbed and he looked down, surprised to see that he’d clenched them so tightly. Counting to ten in his head, he slowly uncurled his fingers.

“I am not,” Xavier said after a moment. “I grew up in a very nice neighbourhood in

Dallas. Had everything, which of course meant I was an obnoxious brat who thought I was entitled to even more. And I had the requisite snobs for friends, who were just as bored and egotistical. We used to think it was funny to dress like gangbangers and break into

neighbourhood houses. We were pathetic shits who needed our asses kicked. Hungry?”

Chase blinked at the change in subject. “You can’t just stop there then ask if I’m hungry!

That’s messed up!”

Xavier grinned and steered the car onto the exit ramp. “Sure I can, because we are

fixing to hit a dry patch for the next couple hundred miles, and I’m hungry. Besides, I wasn’t stopping anything other than the car.”

“Okay, then what happened? Why didn’t you end up in jail or juvie or whatever?”

Chase blinked then narrowed his eyes. “Did your parents bail you out of trouble?”

“It never came to that,” Xavier said with a shake of his head. “One night I was heading out with my
friends
and my little brother came running down the stairs, begging to go with me. I was about seventeen I guess and Randy was a few years younger than that. He looked www.total-e-bound.com

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so eager, and so fucking young. I realised then that he looked up to me, and yeah, maybe it sounds corny, but that meant something to me. More than the thrill I got from sneaking into rich people’s homes. I didn’t go out that night, and less than a week later, our parents were killed when a drunk driver crossed over into their lane and hit them head-on. I had to grow up fast, and I did.”

Xavier parked the car and took a deep breath before continuing. “Apparently, I screwed up somewhere along the way with Randy. He turned into what I could have been, and I

failed to prevent that. He used to be such a different person than he is now.”

“People make their own choices,” Chase said, catching Xavier’s hand when he started

to pull it from the gear shift. “You made the choice to put your brother first and straighten out your life. To quit being a self-centred prick. Randy made a different choice; that’s on him, not you. Even if he was jealous over your relationship with Billy, that was his decision to make. If he didn’t have as big a heart as you do, well, it wasn’t your fault.”

“He was jealous,” Xavier admitted, slumping in his seat. “But Randy was almost thirty and living on his own when I found Billy—and could you have turned away from Billy?

Imagine him six years ago, a skinny, dirty, bruised kid with big, hungry eyes. He was bait for the next sick fucker who saw him. I couldn’t—”

“But Randy could,” Chase muttered. He’d heard about what the asshole had done to

Billy. It turned Chase’s stomach and made him want to put his fist clean through Randy’s rotted brain. “And the fact that he was jealous is just wrong. I don’t think you could have done anything to change that except toss Billy out, and even then I doubt Randy would be any different than he is today. Maybe even worse since he’d have learnt he could manipulate you.”

Xavier grunted and stared at something or nothing on the floorboard. Finally he

nodded and looked at Chase. “I don’t know if that’s true or not, but when I’m honest with myself, when I look inside and see what I thought and felt back then, I know I did my best with Randy and with Billy.”

Chase wouldn’t have believed anything different. “All right then, that’s what you need to keep remembering, that you did your best. Now, let’s go eat something and you can help me figure out the best way to get into the Stratton’s.”

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Maybe we should have flown.
Chase shifted in his seat, his shoulder throbbing after hours of riding in the car. Even with frequent breaks for him to move around, he was still stiff and sore. But besides the physical discomfort, the intimacy in the small interior was making him feel all sorts of urges he normally didn’t have—namely, to talk.

About himself.

Chase had found himself literally biting his tongue more than once since Xavier had

shared his past. They were, although Chase still had trouble wrapping his mind around it—

in a relationship. A committed one. That meant he should talk, or…or something. Share himself, on more than a physical level.

Didn’t it? Christ, and he’d thought the whole physical level had been intimidating. Why was he thinking this to death? He knew what he wanted—Xavier. He slid Xavier a glance and felt that weird pressure in his chest when the man gave him a tired smile.

“I’m about done for today,” Xavier said around a yawn. “There was a sign for a

Ramada Inn, that okay with you?”

Chase barely kept from snorting. He’d have been fine sleeping at the next rest area, as long as he could get out and flop onto something other than the car. He’d really prefer to snuggle up to Xavier, and maybe, if the man wasn’t too tired, work off a bit of the stiffness in their bodies from a day of being cooped up…among other things. “Yeah, that’ll work.”

“Good. What about dinner? Are you hungry or…” Xavier leered and waggled his

eyebrows, and it so surprised Chase that he couldn’t keep from laughing. It was just the bit of teasing he needed to take his mind off the stress of needing to rehash his past.

By the time they’d got to their room, however, Chase was back to thinking about what he should say. He didn’t want to string Xavier along by giving him little bits and pieces of his past, but he also didn’t think he would be able to talk about everything tonight.

And he was pretty damn sure Xavier was adding an extra swing to his hips when he

walked, because Chase couldn’t seem to look away from his very fine ass cupped in that soft faded denim. Was it just his wishful thinking, or was Xavier making an offer with that walk?

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Before he could figure it out, Xavier’s cell rang and he answered it, giving Chase an apologetic look as he waved towards the bathroom. Chase grumbled but dug out a pair of boxers then, smirking at Xavier, stuffed them back in his bag. Xavier stuttered mid-sentence as he tried to tell Billy where they’d stopped for the night. Chase winked at Xavier then turned and headed for the bathroom, chuckling softly at the look of surprise that wink had got him. He was learning he didn’t have to be so controlled with Xavier, and it was…fun.

Chase showered and shaved, and took care of the other necessities before leaving the bathroom. He let the towel hang loose on his hips as he entered their room, holding it in his hand rather than tucking it tightly in place. Xavier’s gaze seared him from feet to forehead and he tipped his head towards the bathroom. “Your turn. I’ll get dressed and go find us something for dinner.”

Xavier got up from where he’d reclined on the bed and slowly stalked towards him.

“Maybe we should skip dinner.”

Chase’s cock started to fill but he shook his head and wondered at himself as he did so.

There was his out, his means of avoiding having to talk about his past, and here he was saying no? Well, not no, exactly, more like— “You need to eat, then I…” Chase swallowed past his embarrassment and wished he was a more eloquent man. “I was thinking about how you knew to let go of my wrist, how close attention you pay to me. I thought maybe I could tell you why it freaks me out to be restrained like that.”

Xavier stopped in his tracks, his dark eyes wide with shock. Chase bit his bottom lip and wondered why he chose that particular part of his past to mention. Maybe because it was the part he was most ashamed of. If he could get that out, the rest should be easy in comparison.

“Go shower,” he muttered when Xavier started to speak. He didn’t want to give the

man a chance to tell him he didn’t have to talk, because Chase was afraid he’d take it, and then he might never have the courage to do this again.

Xavier closed the distance between them and gently cupped Chase’s cheek. He tipped

Chase’s head up, bringing their gazes together, and after a long moment, he lowered his head and kissed Chase slowly and thoroughly. “All right,” he murmured, his lips brushing www.total-e-bound.com

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Chase’s. “I won’t be long.” After another kiss, Xavier walked into the bathroom and pulled the door closed.

Chase dressed quickly then left, walking over to the gas station across from the hotel room. The place was crowded with eighteen wheelers everywhere, but it had a twenty-four hour greasy spoon café and it didn’t take him long to get their meals. By the time he returned with them, Xavier was waiting at the door. He took the Styrofoam containers from Chase and set them on the miniscule table. “Thanks. This smells pretty good.”

Chase snorted and popped open the tops to both of their meals. “It’s grease on a bun, with a little beef or something close to it thrown in.”

Xavier laughed as he dug them a couple of drinks from the ice chest. “Good thing I

have some antacids then.” He gave Chase a searching look and Chase shook his head.