A Beautiful Forever (27 page)

He stills his movement and I slowly release the grip of my
thighs and hands, so he can sit up. He wipes at his mouth and kisses his way
back up my body, swirling his tongue around my nipples when he reaches my
breasts, all I have the energy to produce are short, shallow gasps as he
touches and teases me.

Kissing at my neck he asks in a whisper, “Are you still
allowed to…move on?”

“What? Oh – the baby; yes!… yes, keep going, please keep
going,” I beg, desperately wanting him inside me.

Getting the go ahead, I stand up and take my wallet out of
my jeans before removing them as I take out a condom. Paige is lying on the bed
positioned, and waiting, watching me as I move. “What’s the point?” she says
when she spots the condom.

I raise my eyebrows and flick the foil package aside as I
realise it’s not needed, before I climb on top of her, kissing her as I enter
her warm, wet body. It feels amazing as she envelops me, and I start to move
inside her. I have missed her so much, and I don’t have the restraint in me
after three months to hold on much longer, I want this to last, but it’s too
good.

“Oh god Elliot! It’s too good!” she calls out as she’s
wracked with another orgasm, her clenching insides milking me of mine as I
pulse inside her, moving slowly to drag out every glorious feeling of being
back inside her. I sit back, still inside her and run my fingers down her body
and over the bump that holds our baby.

“So when do you think we made this? At the bed and
breakfast?” I ask.

“No, it would have been that first time we were together,
when we got carried away and forgot the condom, remember?”

“I remember,” I whisper, meeting her eyes. She’s smiling at
me with trembling lips as tears tumble from her eyes. I reach back and grab the
towel she has hanging over the end of her bed and place it between her legs as
I withdraw so I can lay next to her and take her in my arms.

“I’m so sorry, Elliot. I'm so sorry for everything I put you
through,” she cries as I hug her to my chest.

A tear escapes my own eye and slides toward my ear as I hold
her. “Don’t be sorry Paige, just don’t leave me again.”

“I won’t Elliot. I promise I won’t.”

Sitting in the waiting area of the hospital a few days
later, I watch as Elliot nervously bounces his leg and skims through a
magazine. He flicks it back on the table and huffs out his breath. “How long is
this going to take?” he asks impatiently.

I shift uncomfortably in my seat. “I don’t know but I hope
we’re called through soon – my bladder is so full that I think I might burst if
they don’t see us in the next few minutes.”

A woman comes into the waiting area with a clip board and a
file in her hand, “Paige Larsen?” she calls out.

“Thank god,” we say in unison.

The ultrasound technician leads us to a room and gestures
for me to lie on the chair in the middle of the room. Elliot stands by me,
looking fretful and expectant. As soon as I’ve lifted my shirt to expose my
belly, he captures my hand in his and holds it tightly, his eyes darting around
taking in everything in the room.

“So how far along do you think you are?” the technician
asks.

“20 weeks,” Elliot says, jumping in, he has grilled me
thoroughly for every detail about this pregnancy, I think he knows more than I
do now.

I laugh at his nerves and the technician smiles. “A nervous
father to be?” she asks.

“Very!” I laugh.

“Alright, well let’s get this baby on screen,” she suggests.

The gel is surprisingly warm as she squeezes it over my
stomach and uses the transducer to slide it around. An image looks like it’s
zooming in and out on the screen at first until she slows her movement, and the
picture becomes something discernible.

“There you are little one,” she says as my eyes fill with
tears while I’m watching the screen.

“Wow,” Elliot breathes from beside me. “That’s our baby
Paige.”

I nod my head, beaming. “It’s beautiful!”

The technician moves the transducer around my stomach and
shows us different part of our baby's body. It's moving around so much, and I
can’t believe I can’t feel it more than I do, I only get fluttery feelings –
like butterflies in my stomach. When she finishes taking the necessary
measurements, she turns to us and asks us if we’d like to know the sex.

Elliot and I look at each other, unsure how to respond,
“Should it be a surprise?” I ask him.

He looks unsure but says, “Yeah; I think a surprise would be
best.”

“Ok? You’re sure?” I check.

“Yes, we’ll wait.”

I'm on a complete high right now. I just saw my baby on the
screen, and it’s perfect. Everything seems fine, the baby’s healthy. Paige is
healthy. I’m on cloud nine. We’re walking out of the ultrasound area together
with our printed strip of photos in hand. You can clearly see the baby’s face,
hands, and feet. It’s so amazing to me that the baby in this picture is inside
Paige’s body right now.

We walk arm in arm to the elevator bay and travel down to
another floor. Because of Paige’s upbringing, she is a risk for pre and post
natal depression, so it was recommended that she see a counsellor throughout
her pregnancy and the early months after the birth. She booked her session to
start shortly after the ultrasound, so we’re heading to the waiting area for
that. After she is called in, I have plenty of time to sit and think while I
wait for her.

A week ago, I was in Australia, pining away for Paige and
praying that she’ll still be in love with me and this week – I have everything
I wanted and more. I can’t believe I’m going to be a father. I didn’t think I
was ready for kids, but with Paige – I want everything.

I’m so glad that she’s getting counselling now. I'm not so
glad that her mother is in her life – I harbour more than a bit of resentment
towards her over the way she treated Paige but if Paige wants to have a
relationship with her, then I’m supportive of that - especially considering
they are all in counselling together. It gives me great hope that everything is
going to work out for us.

“Elliot,” I whisper, rocking him by the shoulder to wake
him, “Elliot; it's time.”

Lifting his sleep laden head from the pillow, he looks over
at the clock on the bedside table and scrunches up his face, “No it’s not, I’ve
got hours before I have to be at work,” he complains, rolling onto his back and
closing his eyes again. I watch him as he runs his hands over the top of his
head, over the short clipped hair that I cut only yesterday.

Suddenly, his eyes pop open, and he sits bolt upright in
bed, “Wait! What?! It’s time? It’s
time
time?” he rambles, throwing the
quilt off him and jumping out of bed. He places his hands on either side of my
enormous belly and looks at me intently, “Are you sure?”

“My waters broke and I’m having contractions. I've called
the hospital, and they’re expecting us.”

“Oh my god! This is really happening isn’t it?” he says,
freaking out a little as he pulls on the pants and shirt I’m holding out to
him. “Why are you so calm?” he asks me.

“I’m not calm Elliot. I'm about to have a giant baby come
out of my vagina. I’m about as far from calm as I can be right now,” I answer
tonelessly. I actually think I’m in shock a little.

I carry Paige’s bag and hold her hand as we walk carefully
down the two flights of stairs to get to the car. A contraction hits her when
we’re only a few steps away, I have no idea what to do right now except rub her
back and talk softly to her until the pain ebbs away, and her face softens
again.

“Ok?” I ask, checking that she’s fine to continue to the
car. She nods quickly and I guide her to the passenger side, dropping her bag
on the back seat before getting in and driving us to the hospital.

She has another contraction on the way to the hospital, and
I ask if she wants me to pull over but she shakes her head no, so I keep going,
my heart beating in my chest so hard that it’s echoing out through my ears.

Wave after wave of contractions are taking over my body as
I’m ushered into the delivery suite. The midwife informs me that the doctor
should be in shortly to check on my progress, but she wants to check me over
first to make sure everything is fine.

She presses her hands over my stomach, trying to feel which
way the baby is lying.

“Are you getting a lot of back pain?” she asks me.

I nod, “Yes, it feels like my contraction pain is radiating
out of my spine,” I tell her grimacing as I feel the start of another one.

“The baby’s posterior,” she starts.

“What? What does that even mean?” Elliot interrupts to ask,
worry etched in his face.

“Everything’s fine, it just means her pain is more
concentrated. I’d offer you something for the pain Paige, but I don’t think
we’ll have time – you’re already grunting so the baby is probably coming soon
ok?”

I nod my head quickly, trying desperately to breathe through
the pain that is overwhelming my body right now. I roll onto my knees trying to
ease the pain in my back and start crying.

Elliot, rubs my back and coos at me softly, telling me I’m
doing great. “It just hurts so much Elliot, where are the endorphins your body
is supposed to produce? The books said there’d be endorphins to take the pain
away!” I cry as a contraction starts again, “Oh God!” I call out as my body
bears down of its own accord.

“Breathe Paige, breathe as you push, we’re not far now,” the
midwife coaches me.

Panting I try to catch my breath before another contraction
comes, I can’t believe how fast this is all happening.

“She’s pushing?! Shouldn’t she be on her back or something?
She can’t give birth on all fours can she?” Elliot asks the midwife
frantically.

“It’s fine, dad, just let nature take its course,” she
soothes him. “Now Paige, when the baby’s head is just about out, you will feel
a burn. I want you to try not to push when that's happening, give your body
time to stretch, so you don’t tear ok?”

I nod my head, feeling like I'm a torture recipient – I’m so
angry at nature right now, why does this have to hurt so much!?

My eyes grow wide as Paige bears down, and I see the baby’s
head crowning, “Oh my god Paige! I can see the baby! You’re doing it!”

She screams out loudly, and I’m torn between rushing back to
hold her hand and watching our baby as it emerges from her body and into the
world. I settle for resting my hand on her back and cheering her on so I can
still see.

“Try not to push Paige, the baby’s coming out quickly,
breathe through the burn,” the midwife coaches, preparing herself for the birth
of our child.

“I can’t stop pushing!” yells Paige, grunting and yelling as
she bears down again, and I witness our baby’s head pop out of her, closely
following by its body.

I can hardly breathe, watching that little scrunched up face
as it gurgles out a loud cry that seems to reverberate around the room. “It’s a
girl Paige, we made a baby girl!”

I help her roll over so the midwife can place the baby on
her stomach. “Oh Elliot!” she breathes, “She’s beautiful, look at our
daughter!” I touch the face of our screaming little bundle and kiss Paige
happily.

“Would you like to cut the cord?” The midwife asks me,
holding out a pair of surgical scissors. I nod, taking them from her and work
them to cut the cord that connected mother and baby for nearly nine months.

The door to the delivery suite opens, and the doctor walks
in. He takes a couple of steps and freezes, “Oh, I guess I’m a bit late,” he
comments.

“Yes, this one couldn’t wait to meet her parents,” the
midwife says.

“Well congratulations,” he says, moving over to the midwife
to talk quietly with her for a moment about the delivery before congratulating
us again and leaving.

“I’m sorry,” I say to the midwife, “I never caught your
name.”

“Victoria,” she informs me.

“Well, thank you Victoria, for bringing our baby into the
world.” I say.

“You’re very welcome.”

Staring down at the child in my arms, I’m so overwhelmed
with love, that the pain of the delivery seems like a distant memory now.
Victoria is helping me as I try to latch the baby onto my breast for her first
feeding. It’s a lot harder than I thought I would be and hurts a little when
the baby starts suckling before she has her mouth open properly.

“So do you have a name for her?” asks Victoria when she’s
sure the baby is attached properly.

Elliot and I look at each other and smile. We had thought
long and hard about what our baby’s name will be, “Grace,” I tell her. “Her
name is Grace.”

“Yes, Grace Roberts,” Elliot puts in.

I look at him and laugh, “Who says she gets your last name?”

“It will be your last name too,” he informs me.

“Really?”

“Yes Paige,” he says, wrapping his arms gently around both
me, and our daughter as she feeds from me, contentedly in my arms. He lowers
his head and looks me in the eyes, a serious expression on his face. “Paige
Larsen, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?” he asks.

Tears begin to pour out of my eyes as I nod my head
frantically. “Of course I will Elliot,” I say through my tears. “Of course I
will!”

He steps away from the bed and searches through my bag for a
moment, returning with a small black ring box. He sits beside me and opens it,
revealing a beautiful ring with a gold band that overlaps itself in two swirls
around a single diamond suspended between the metal. I hold my shaking hand out
as he places it on my finger, admiring it as it catches the light.