A Beautiful Fall (25 page)

“Yes.”

She’d waited so long for him to come around. Prayed and waited.

“And I can’t—wait another minute to ask you this,” he said, entwining his fingers with hers. “Will you do me the distinct honor of marrying me?”

o o o

Will scrubbed new yellow paint from his hands in the upstairs bathroom. Emma sat at the vanity in her bedroom across the hall, getting ready for their shopping excursion.

“Honey, it’s your last day,” Will called to her. “Anything you’d especially like to do?

Emma ran a brush through her straight shoulder-length hair.

“I just heard from Jim that Samantha and the new baby are coming home around lunchtime. I’d like to stop by for a visit. I also promised to stop by and see Janette Kerr before I left town. I really don’t know how I’ll have time, but I said I would.”

“How do you know Janette?” he said, peering around the corner, drying his hands on a towel.

“I met her at Samantha’s party. Didn’t I tell you? She’s a friend of hers. I’m surprised you don’t know her.”

“I know Janette, just didn’t know that you did. Have you ever seen any of her movies?”

“I don’t think so. From the sound of it, she was kind of a small-time actress in the ’50s and ’60s.”

Will stepped over to Emma’s doorway, tossing the towels over his right shoulder. “That’s not how I would describe her. When are you going over there?”

“This afternoon. Whenever I can fit it in.”

“Well, we’d better get moving if you’re going to get in all these stops.”

An hour later, they were in Columbia shopping for furniture. At Will’s request, she picked out a traditional-looking cherry wood desk with ornamental drawers and brass pulls at an upscale antique shop. A modern office supply store sold them a new computer, desk light, a comfortable cloth swivel chair, and a cordless telephone.

By this time, they were hungry and decided to walk somewhere for lunch. It was light fare, chicken salad at a local restaurant in Columbia a block from Will’s law office.

“Emma, I don’t mean to sound pushy or anything … but do you have any idea when you’ll come home again?” he asked, sipping from his iced-tea glass, then setting it back on the table.

“I’ll have some time around Christmas. That’s probably the soonest I could come back. The firm has been more than generous, giving me all this time. But I’m going back to a madhouse. Our senior partner has a new corporate client and we’re already preparing to respond to a major lawsuit. We usually serve litigation this large in teams, but we’ll be up to our ears in it before long.”

Will frowned, an expression Emma had rarely seen on her father’s face.

“I’m just gonna shoot honestly with you, Emma. You’ve really come alive this week. Are you sure you’re ready to charge back into the fray? I’ll admit I don’t know much about your Boston life and I’m sure it’s wonderful. But what I’ve seen? You fit so perfectly here in Juneberry.”

Emma wiped her face with a paper napkin, crinkling it in her palm before setting it on her plate. “I don’t think anyone is ever ready to go back to work, but I feel like I’ve accomplished all I came here to do. It’s been an amazing visit, Dad, but it shouldn’t take long for me to get back into the swing of things back home …” The moment she said “home” she regretted it. Not because Boston hadn’t been a good home for her all these years, but because it didn’t quite sound right to speak of Boston as home while she was in South Carolina, while she was sitting across the table from her father. “But I won’t stay away so long this time,” she promised, hoping these words might distract him from her uncertainty.

Will dropped his napkin across his plate and leaned back in his chair. “One of the hardest things a parent is ever asked to do, Emma, is to let go. I’d like to ask you to do something that’s probably going to be an even bigger challenge for you. When your career gets busy again, and your free time seems to evaporate—and it will. Hey, I’m an attorney too, and I know the value of an hour. But when that happens, I want you to stop for a second and remember where you came from, and hang onto it. And, honey … I want you to know, Juneberry will always be your home too.”

~ Twenty ~

When I give my heart, it will be completely.

—T
HE
L
ETTERMAN

“When I Fall in Love”

In 1958, Janette Kerr left Juneberry, South Carolina, to chase her Hollywood dreams. The eighteen-year-old had starred in enough high school musicals, lived the drama of being chosen homecoming queen, and been asked to walk the runway in a chamber of commerce charity fashion show, to be certain she would be a huge star if just given the opportunity. She even won a statewide beauty contest in Columbia and was awarded a grand prize of three hundred dollars. Against her mother’s wishes, Janette used her prize money to buy a one-way Greyhound bus ticket and rent a studio apartment in West Hollywood.

Fourteen years later, she packed up her belongings, climbed into her powder blue Cadillac convertible, and left Hollywood for good.

She’d seen the studio system up close as a contract actress at Paramount Pictures. She’d played the nightclub cigarette girl, a passenger on a train, and a chorus-line dancer. She’d even acted opposite Clark Gable in
Some Go East
, taking his money on-screen at a soundstage newspaper stand and delivering her one line “Don’t forget your change, sir!” right on cue.

“Oh, I may have never become a star, Emma, but I tasted lots of success. I’ll bet you’ve never seen this.”

Janette handed her an issue of
LIFE
Magazine
from 1961. A beautiful, younger Janette Kerr graced the oversized cover. The twenty-two-year-old beauty, a Paramount contract actress, cover girl, and aspiring movie starlet.

“You look beautiful,” Emma said.

“That was when the publicity department at Paramount was trying to break new stars by getting us different kinds of exposure. They wanted to find the next big thing, but it turned out
not
to be me.”

“Still, it’s an amazing accomplishment,” Emma said, setting the magazine back on the coffee table.

“I don’t know what I accomplished. I think God just gives us little tastes of something so we know what it is. That was my little moment of fame.”

Janette sipped her tea. In honor of Emma’s visit, she’d gotten out her best tea service, a white porcelain set with colorful, hand-painted daffodils on the teapot, cups, and sugar bowl. She and Emma sat in Janette’s living room at her mobile home by the lake. It was clean and comfortable, the perfect living space for Janette and her sister Claudia.

“I danced with Cary Grant once at a birthday party for a Paramount Studios VP,” she said, delighted with the memory. “He was so charming and witty. Those were the kinds of experiences I’d hoped for when I went out to Hollywood, and I had many.”

“You must have wanted success as an actress, too?” Emma said.

“Yes, but like I told Beth, success is something you can’t hang onto. You might have that spotlight shining its bright round beam on you for a moment, but the next minute it’s gone. Oh, I’m not going to pretend it wasn’t great fun to have that spotlight on me, but you can’t keep it, and chasing after that light can make a person crazy.”

“I can tell by your smile, you must have had some good times.”

“I made seventeen pictures, appeared on television shows,
Gunsmoke, Dr. Kildare, Perry Mason, Star Trek
. I did lots of things like that.”

“But you came back?”

“I came back
home,
Emma. I came back to people who really knew and cared about me. There’s no other place like Juneberry in the world. Did you know that? Have you ever really thought about just how special this place is? To me it’s the most precious place in the world, and do you know why?”

Emma shook her head.

“Because it’s where I’m from. It’s where my roots are. Everyone knows me here, and I’ve known them for a lifetime. When I was in pictures, nobody really knew me. Sure, I worked with the other actors, and was friendly with everyone, but it was just a group of people going ’round and ’round on a carousel. Everyone doing their best to enjoy the ride all by themselves.”

“Is that why you came back?”

“Something like that. Both my mother and sister were living at the time and we had such fun together. I was the adventurer—always the one to take a risk. You’re that way too, aren’t you?”

Emma smiled. “I think so.”

“Emma, I wanted to see you, not to change your mind about anything, that’s not my place, but just to tell you something it took me years to learn.”

Emma set her teacup back on the saucer and leaned forward to listen.

“The lights are definitely brighter beyond the horizon of the place you grow up. I suspect they are for everyone. But bright lights can’t love you, Emma, and eventually they burn out.”

“Is that what you wanted to tell me?”

“Yes, and this. I almost missed the last years of my mother’s life. And do you know what I nearly traded those years for?”

“What?”

“A game show. I was offered a spot on a daytime game show and I struggled at the time about whether or not to take it. Now can you imagine how I’d feel today if I would have lost those last few years with my mother, in exchange for a silly game show?”

Emma had liked Janette instantly when she met her at Samantha’s party, and was liking her even more with every moment they spent together.

“Emma, there will always be a pretty bauble out there somewhere tempting us to chase after it. My prayer for you is that you’ll find what God wants for you. If that’s in Boston, fine, but if it’s somewhere else, like Juneberry, make sure you don’t miss it.”

Janette emptied the teapot into Emma’s cup.

“That’s what I wanted to tell you, Emma.”

o o o

On her way back from Janette’s, Emma drove down Main Street one last time, the AM radio tuned to a country station out of Columbia. Coming through the truck’s small speaker, the music sounded tinny and popped with static. All the songs with fiddles reminded her of Michael.

She drove all the familiar streets, Armstrong, Carney, Hope—street names that reminded her of some of the twentieth century’s greatest entertainers, on her way to Samantha’s house.

At the last traffic light on Main, it dawned on Emma that she’d switched into good-bye mode. For the rest of the day, she’d be saying good-bye to whoever she saw—Jim, Samantha, Christina, Michael.

Good-bye
. The word caught in her throat.

Before the light turned green on the corner of Main and Durham, Emma glanced in the rearview mirror and saw a familiar white truck. Michael waved. She looked at his reflection, noticed his dark hair falling across his forehead, stubble casting a shadow on his face. She gestured for him to follow her.

Durham Street was quiet, infrequently traveled. Emma parked Old Red along the curb, and Michael pulled up behind her. She left the truck running, exited, and walked to his driver’s-side window.

“I thought that was you,” she said, her smile appearing out of some deep place she didn’t quite understand.

“Your dad’s office is finished,” he said. “I’m out running a few errands I haven’t had time to take care of. How’d furniture shopping go?”

“Good. We found everything. Dad’s excited, and I’m just delighted with how everything worked out.”

“Hey, you haven’t even seen it completely done yet.”

“I know. But it was almost done before and it looked great then. Thank you, Michael. You’ve really done a lot for my dad and me this week.”

“It’s my pleasure,” he said. Emma brushed Michael’s hair from his forehead. She placed her hands on his arm.

“Listen, I’m in between visits today. I’m on my way over to see Samantha and the new baby. I was wondering if you had some time tonight when we could get together?”

“I think that can be arranged.”

Emma smiled. “Good. I’ll be home after awhile. I’ll give you a call and we can decide what we want to do.”

He signaled that was fine with a nod of his head. Emma told Michael good-bye, backing up a step before heading back to the warmth of Old Red, still parked and chugging on Durham Street.

Michael watched her shift the truck into gear and drive off for Samantha’s. He was truly glad he’d been able to help Will and Emma. It was only when Michael peered into the future that he got a sickening feeling about the week. It felt like the past was repeating itself, though he somehow hoped he was wrong. He thought of the effortless friendship they’d rediscovered that so easily and comfortably tilted its head to meet in a kiss. And he allowed the thought that hurt most to meander into his mind again—that Emma was his soul mate.

Somehow, she’d been able to walk away once upon a different perfect season. Michael couldn’t avoid the choking, bitter conclusion that Emma was about to do the same thing all over again.

“I choose who I love,” he reminded himself. “It’s not up to me whether they love me back.”

There was only one problem with Michael’s theory of love: He could choose whom he loved, but he couldn’t seem to unchoose her.

o o o

Samantha handed baby James to Emma, wrapped up in his blue hospital blanket, wearing a cute little pair of footie jammies with a zipper running up the front.

“He’s so little,” Emma said, taking the baby into her arms as if she were carrying a stack of wrapped gifts from Macy’s. “I’m afraid I might drop him.”

“You won’t drop him.”

Emma sat in the middle of the Connors’ long green living-room sofa. Samantha took a seat next to her and Jim settled into the chair that knew him best during football season.

Noel chuckled at the sight of Emma Madison holding a newborn baby. It was obvious to everyone that Emma was one of those women who had never actually held a baby before.

“He’s just had his afternoon feeding, so he’s going to be taking a nap very soon,” Samantha said, clearly delighted to watch Emma holding their new baby.

“Oh, he’s blinking his eyes. He looks so sleepy.”

“I’m going to put him in his bassinet and see if he’ll go down to sleep.”