A Baby on Her Christmas List (11 page)

‘What? You’re joking.’ Not what he’d choose in a million years. What he would choose he didn’t know. He hadn’t allowed his mind to wander down that route as yet.

‘And in the morning we need to go shopping for a breast pump. There’s a new babyware shop opened up on High Street. And I know it’s early but I want to get some Christmas decorations from that pop-up shop in Regents mall.’

‘Christmas? Already? It’s September.’

‘My first Christmas in my first home. A baby on the way. I want it to be special.’ Her voice was wistful. ‘No harm in starting early, and they’ll sell out of all the good stuff pretty quickly, you’ll see.’

‘What was Christmas like at the home?’ He knew she tried to make a huge effort to celebrate it every year and asked everyone she’d ever met to eat around her large wooden table—waifs and strays, everyone’s uncle’s cat...she just didn’t want to be on her own.

There was a pause as if she didn’t want to go back there. He couldn’t blame her. The bits she’d mentioned about growing up had been a far cry from his early experiences. Until his perfect world had imploded.

She put on her
I’m okay
voice. ‘Oh, the social workers and carers tried to make it feel special, but we all knew they just wanted to get our celebrations out of the way so they could finish up and get home to their real families. It was depressing, in truth. This year I’m going to go big. I’m going to get the biggest tree and the most decorations anyone has ever had and cover the place—the tree, the walls, the outside. You know, like on Franklin Road, where every house has decorations and lights? It’ll be like that, a Christmas to remember. And then next year I’m going to give Desdemona—or Albert—every damned thing they want. Because I couldn’t have what I wanted. Ever.’

He imagined her, stuck in the home, wishing her little heart out and always being disappointed. Life sucked sometimes. For Georgie life had sucked a lot. ‘What did you want, Geo? What did you wish for?’

‘Ah, you know, the usual stuff.’

He propped himself up on his elbow and ran his fingers across her curves, down her shoulder, to the side of her breast, and stopped for a moment as she shivered under his touch. Then continued stroking her hip. ‘No. Really, what did you want?’

She laughed, shyly. ‘I wanted to start a collection of Beanie Babies—these little stuffed-toy things. Man, they were expensive and all the girls at school had them for birthdays or Christmas. I saved up my allowance every week and eventually bought a second-hand whale. He was my favourite.’

So he wasn’t the only one here who was expert at dodging a question. ‘No. Really. You’re always telling me to stop hedging—but you’re champion of it too. What did you deep down want?’

‘Oh, God. However I say it, it’s going to sound twee and crass but...well, I really wanted to be part of something. And now I am. So I got it in the end.’ She laughed. ‘It only took twenty-eight years.’

Did she mean him? Did she mean they were now part of something? Or did she mean the baby?
Family?
His heart started to pound. What had he done? Given her hope that she belonged to him?

Didn’t she? No. No one did. No one could.

What the hell had he done? ‘Oh. I see.’

‘Anyway, before we go shopping I thought perhaps a big brunch in town first. That’s what we’ll need, right? A good sleep and then some decent food. Or maybe some food now? Are you hungry? Sex makes me hungry.’

‘These days everything makes you hungry.’ Okay. He got it that it would be rude and insensitive to split right now. He slumped against the pillow, trying to reconcile his head with his heart, but it seemed they were cursed to be at odds with each other for ever. ‘Whatever you want.’

‘Really?’ Her foot dug him in the thigh. ‘What I want is for you to stay. Talk to me.’

‘God knows how you have the energy to talk after mind-blowing sex.’ He ignored her assertion that he stay. For how long? Tonight? Tomorrow? A year? For ever? Reality was blurring dangerously with the ache in his heart.

One eye opened. ‘It’s not because we’ve just had sex, it’s because
we
talk, Liam, that’s what you and I do. We talk endlessly and have done for a decade. About everything.
Mostly.
We’ve never not known what to talk about before. How about we talk about stuff...about your work, my pregnancy, this child, your family, why you don’t contact them ever? What the heck it is that spooks you so much about creating something that everyone else in the world craves. I want to know about you growing up, and I want to know about Lauren.’

The walls were closing in. It was time for evasive action, because he did not want to go there. At all. ‘You know, suddenly I’m really fascinated about how breast pumps work. Talk me through—’

‘No way, José. You don’t get out of stuff that easily.’

‘Oh, but I do. By fair means or foul...’ The sheet covered most of her body, but her right foot was sticking out. He took it, leaned forward and slowly sucked her big toe into his mouth. He felt her soften against the mattress and her moan stoked more heat in him. That shower scenario was looking more and more attractive.

‘Yeow. Definitely not fair.’ Four vermilion-varnished toes wriggled against his chin. ‘Use that mouth for talking, Macadoodle-doo.’

‘Why, when it’s so much better at doing other things?’ His mouth hit her ankle, the back of her knee, her inner thigh, and he licked a wet trail northwards. As she squirmed he gave a wry smile. Any more wriggling was halted by his hands on her thighs. ‘See?’

‘But I want to— Oh, yes, that feels good. Just a little to the... Oh, yes.’ Her hands fisted into his hair. ‘Don’t stop now, Liam...’

‘I have no intention of stopping.’

‘We...can...talk...later...’

Like never
. ‘Hush. Relax. Enjoy.’

And with that her mouth clamped shut and as he grasped her hand, she did exactly what he’d suggested.

CHAPTER NINE

W
HEN
G
EORGIE
WOKE
the next morning the left side of the bed was cold. He was gone. As she’d thought he would be. It had all been too good to be true. He’d had second thoughts and hot-footed it to Afghanistan or somewhere equally unreachable. Typical Liam. Typical men. She lay back on the pillow and growled.

And then growled again, because since when had her mood been determined by a man?

Since Liam MacAllister had become...whatever he’d become. More than a friend...and with added and rather nice benefits. He certainly was very, very good at the bedroom side of things, even if he was quiet—
mute
—on the history side. But, hey, a forward-thinking man was always better than one looking back, right?

Although his past had shaped who he was, and that intrigued her. It had also created those barriers he was so keen at throwing up between himself and anyone who wanted to get close. The sex had been a really crazy idea. Lovely but crazy, and now she was even more confused than before. Ask him for clarification? Not likely. She imagined how that conversation might go and decided she didn’t need to have him actually voice the rejection out loud.

After a few minutes of lying there, debating what to do, there was a gentle tapping at the door and in he walked, topless, with jeans slouching off his hips, a tray in hand, a pot of coffee and a plate of something that smelled nice but looked a little...suspect. He gave her a smile as he placed the tray on the bed. ‘Morning. Here’s a sad-looking croissant I found at the back of the freezer, along with a couple of rogue frozen peas and a lot of ice. There was literally nothing else to eat. Nothing. You really do need to go food shopping.’

‘The trouble is I eat it as fast as I buy it. I can’t keep up.’ Without his shirt
he
looked good enough to eat—did she need anything else? And he hadn’t run off, he was here, making sure she ate properly. Was this a dream?

She rubbed her eyes, which she really shouldn’t have done because the corneal abrasion was still healing, but it was too late and... Yes, he was still here, not an apparition. With food. And coffee. The man was a god.

The god sat on the edge of the bed. ‘Well, seeing as we’re having a day off renovating today, I’ll make sure we fill up the fridge before we’re done.’ He buttered a piece of croissant, offered it to her, then waited until she’d opened her mouth and popped it in. ‘Come on, get your strength up, we’re going to need that soon enough.’

‘Thanks. Eugh. Not such a great croissant. I can’t even remember when I bought— Wait...we’re having a day off? Who says?’

‘You said you wanted to go shopping. And I’m tired of sanding and painting and you look like you need a decent break. I want to forget about this dust and dirt and do something else. So I’ve made some calls. I have a plan: your breast pump will have to wait, along with the Christmas decorations. Eat up and then we’ll get going.’ He got up as if to leave.

‘Not so fast.’ She caught his hand and he took it, wrapped his fingers around hers and squeezed. In all the years of knowing him she’d never been aware of this tender side to him. She liked it. Goddamn, she liked it, just when she was trying to think of more reasons not to like him. Not to lose her heart or herself to someone who wouldn’t want it. ‘To where?’

‘It’s a surprise. But there’ll be proper fresh air. The sea. Decent food. No dust.’

‘Is this just another tactic to avoid the issue? You know...talking?’

He gave her a guilty grin. ‘I feel restless. I just need to get going. Out. Somewhere.’

This was the guy who spent most of his life travelling and the last few months cooped up in her house. He never stayed anywhere for long, so she could see why he’d need to cut loose sometimes. Plus, a break would be fun. ‘Then what are we waiting for?’

‘Well...’ He pulled the sheet down a little and exposed her breasts. Then he kissed her neck, her throat, her nipples, and she was putting her arms around his neck and drawing him to her. He whispered against her skin, ‘I really need a shower before I set foot outside. You?’

‘What? Me and you? In that tiny bathroom? You think we’ll fit?’

‘If it’s big enough for a highland jig, it’s big enough for a shared shower. We’ll squeeze in somehow.’ His fingers stroked down her back and she could see the bulge in his jeans. He was hot and hard for her.

Which made her hot in return. She couldn’t resist reaching her hand to his chest. Felt his heart beating underneath her fingers. Solid. Steady.
Liam
. This was Liam. This was all kinds of surreal. She remembered his little dance in her tiny bathroom, the way he’d looked at her, the way she’d wanted to touch him then. How touching him now made her feel excited and jittery and turned on. Not solid or steady at all. ‘But it wasn’t big enough for a highland jig, remember?’

‘We’ll fit. Trust me?’

‘I don’t know.’ That was half the problem. And, yes, he’d stuck to his words and been there for her throughout this pregnancy. Not once had he mentioned the contract again. He seemed committed to the baby, even though there were times when she caught his worried face and just knew the spooks were there, haunting him a little. But he’d surprised her with his resolve. And kept on surprising her, but could a man really change? She just didn’t know. For a few minutes last night she’d thought he’d been having doubts, had felt his restless legs keen to leave, had known that if she’d let him he’d have gone. Would she always have to keep anchoring him here? Would she never be enough for his first instinct to be to want to stay?

For now, though, he was here and was asking for nothing more than to spend time with her. Time she didn’t want to waste analysing things to death. ‘Oh, okay. Where’s there a will, there’s always a way.’

‘Always...’ His laugh was deep and sexy and there was no way she was going to put up any kind of fight against those fingers, that mouth, those eyes. Had she been thinking about fighting? She couldn’t remember. Her whole world narrowed to this single moment when she could forget everything else. ‘So what are we waiting for?’

His hands closed around her fingers. ‘Absolutely nothing.’

* * *

An hour and a half later, which truly could have been only thirty minutes had it not been for a lovely long shower and a very deliciously sexy start to her day, Georgie let out a yelp of excitement as Liam steered his expensive and very un-child-friendly two-seater coupé into a car ferry terminal. ‘Waiheke Island? A day trip?’

‘If that’s okay?’ He looked genuinely concerned that she was happy with his choice. ‘I thought it’d be nice to do something different.’

‘Yes, it’s fabulous. It’s a lovely idea. I haven’t been there since a school trip years ago.’

He stared across at the ferry. ‘My grandparents lived there, we used to go over and stay at their house every holiday when I was little. I can’t remember the last time I visited.’

And there was something else she hadn’t known about him. Maybe that concern on his face was really apprehension? ‘Oh, I had no idea. Will it bring back bad memories for you?’

‘I’m hoping to cement some new ones. It’s a big enough island for me not to even go there.’ A stream of vehicles appeared and queued up behind them as a crew member gestured for the cars to embark. Cranking the car into gear, Liam drove up the metal ramp and parked the car on the ferry platform. Once out, and breathing a lungful of fresh sea air, he slipped his hand into hers and whisked her towards the bar area. ‘Come on, let’s get a coffee and watch the world go by.’

The short journey across the Hauraki Gulf was smooth and pleasant, enhanced greatly by a pod of dolphins that came alongside to play. Diving and chasing and showing off, they added extra magic to this unexpected trip. Standing on deck, watching him walk towards her with two cups of coffee in his hands, grinning and gesticulating to the wildlife, Georgie’s stomach gave a little hearty jump at the thought of a stolen day with Liam. Things were definitely changing, moving along in a direction she hadn’t ever imagined. She didn’t know if the changes were for the good, but she did know she would never be the same after all this.

Waiheke, famed for its vineyards and olive oil, was showing the tentative beginnings of the new spring season. After a long wet winter the hills were green, the acres of vines stretching on and on to the horizon were budding and leafy, while ewes watched over lambs in the fields adjacent to the roads. Once away from the main township they headed east along a winding road that eventually opened to vistas of clean empty beaches and blue water sparkling in the pale sunshine. Such a difference from her city house, which she adored—but stepping onto green fields would be nice for a change. Liam had been right, time out would do them both some good.

After half an hour or so he pulled left into a white gravel driveway that led towards the sea. On their right was a large whitewashed colonial house with a sign advertising wine sales and tastings. Georgie was surprised he’d pick a place like this. ‘Oh? You booked us lunch at a vineyard? I assume you want to sample the wares?’

‘I may have a small glass. But it’s not so much the vineyard I was planning to see.’ He threw the car into park and got out.

She stepped out of the door and sighed at the wisteria just starting to flower and framing the large wooden door. The soft pink against the white was startling and soothing, and like something from a film set. ‘Oh? So what is it? What’s the big secret?’

‘It’s not so big really, more a thought than a secret. Wait and see. And apparently they do a very nice lunch platter. It’s huge. Which seems to be the only consideration you make these days when choosing meals.’ There was a flurry of activity as their hosts found them a table out in the garden, bottled water and much-needed shade.

The garden was private and secluded, but felt somehow open rather than cloistered. Cushioned candy-striped hammocks hung between trees flanking a small neat square of grass. Palms and large ferns gave much-needed shade. There were fairy lights entwined around the vegetation that she imagined would give a pretty effect in the evenings, along with tealights in coloured glass jars on the ornate ironwork tables. It was tranquil, cool and very calming, and as they sat she felt some of the tensions of the last few months float away.

The menu was limited but sounded delicious. Suddenly she felt famished and so ordered a large mixed platter that promised fish, freshly cooked meats, a selection of local hard cheeses and lots and lots of bread. Most of which, she knew, she could eat and not worry about them having any effect on her baby. The rest she’d leave for Liam.

As they waited for the food he started to chat. ‘Chris, the owner of this place, is an old school friend of mine. He inherited the vineyard from his dad and has turned it into a very successful business.’

As she listened to the sound of...nothing, except the fuzzy hum of bees and faint birdcalls, and took in the impossibly breathtaking surroundings, she felt the most peaceful she’d felt in weeks. Either that, or the sex-induced endorphins had made her limbs turn half to rubber. ‘It’s amazing.’

‘Isn’t it?’

‘So what made you decide to come here of all places?’

‘He sent me a link to his new website the other day. I took a look, saw the photos of the deck and the garden.’

They were momentarily interrupted as their drinks arrived, then were left alone again. Liam took a sip of pinot gris, then put his glass down on the table. ‘Then, when I was standing on your deck this morning, looking out at the garden, I thought that we really need to sort it out. The wood’s rotting in places and there are nails popping up all over. It’s a wreck, Georgie, and could be dangerous if we don’t do something about it. The inside of your house is almost complete now so I thought we should finish things off properly. The baby’s coming in the summer, and with the usual Auckland humidity you’re going to want to sit outside. I thought the hammock idea would be great. And the palms give great shade. A lawn in the middle would be a pretty cool place for a baby to learn to crawl—no risk of injury.’

‘Well, wow. That’s really thoughtful. And, yes, it’s absolutely gorgeous. I can see it working perfectly in the space I have. That’s very kind of you, and especially to bring us all the way out here to actually see it.’ She felt a little as if the ground was shifting. Half hope, half...what?

He shrugged, looking a little embarrassed at her enthusiasm. ‘It’s just a day trip, Georgie.’

But it was one of the kindest things anyone had ever done for her. Why did he have to keep getting better and better? Why couldn’t he slink off and make her feel unhappy and not pine for more? In cold, harsh reality she was scared that she’d get too attached to a man who would break her heart. Because even if he did want to be involved in her family, how could she be sure he’d be in it for the long term? With her? How could she be sure he’d love
her
?

‘But it’s—’

‘Oh, here’s lunch. And here’s Chris. Clearly a busy man, he owns the place, makes the wine and so, it seems, serves the food.’ He stood and shook the hand of a thickset man who looked older than Liam’s thirty-two years. ‘Good to see you, mate.’

‘You too.’ Liam’s friend’s eyes grazed over Georgie, down to her belly, and he beamed. ‘And you must be Georgie. I’d know you anywhere, that social media’s a beast, isn’t it? You feel like you know people without ever meeting them.’

‘Yes. Isn’t it? Hello.’ She may have been Liam’s friend on any number of social network sites, but Georgie wondered how much Chris really knew and what Liam had said, if anything, about their unusual situation. After all, not many couples got pregnant first and then had sex. Everything was happening the wrong way round. Besides, the word ‘couple’ hadn’t been breathed out of either of their lips.

They hadn’t discussed yet what to say, if anything, to anyone who enquired about their situation. But as that seemed to be changing by the day, it was probably better that they hadn’t come up with any definite description. Just Liam and Georgie, same as it ever had been.