Read 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships Online
Authors: How to Talk to Anyone
Copyright 2003 by Leil Lowndes. Click Here for Terms of Use. 07 (229-264B) part seven 8/14/03 9:19 AM Page 249
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back into the cradle to shut out horrible fantasies of how my client would react if he had to call Mark. His thirty-second talent show might have been an appropriate sample of a rock musician’s talent. But a businessperson should opt for a more sedate outgoing message. The message you leave on your answering machine reflects your work. Keep yours friendly, neutral, and up-to-date. And here’s the secret: to give the impression you are really on top of your business, change your message every day. Studies show that callers perceive people to be brighter and more efficient when they hear an updated message each time they call. If appropriate, let callers know where you are and when you intend to be back. If you have customers who need to be attended to, this is crucial. Try something like this on your office phone: “This is (name). It’s Thursday, May 7, and I’ll be in a sales meeting until late this afternoon. Please leave your message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I return.” That way, if you don’t call a client back until 4 p.m. he isn’t steaming.
Also, keep it short. Some people change their message every day, but it’s too long. I had a colleague, a public speaker named Dan, who in his finest mellifluous voice imposed his thought for the day on all unsuspecting callers.
Last year I was working on a project with Dan and had to call him three times in the same day to leave a progress report. Each time his machine answered: “Hello, this is Dan, and here’s my daily motivator.” He cleared his throat for his big recorded performance and then continued. “Did someone say something today that offended you? So what! That’s their problem.” He paused dramatically. “Did someone look at you the wrong way? So what!
That’s their problem.” Again, a pause for the magnitude of that sentiment to sink in. “Replace your petty thoughts of anger, exasperation, and spite with thoughts of strength. Calm down. Rise above those little insignificant irritations in life. Focus your thoughts in the direction of fulfillment and accomplishment. Once 07 (229-264B) part seven 8/14/03 9:19 AM Page 250
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again, this is Dan.” I’m surprised he didn’t also leave his agent’s phone number here. “Leave your message at the tone. And have a great peaceful day.” Beep.
The first time I listened to Dan’s “inspirational” message, the length mildly irritated me. The second time, I found myself hyperventilating while waiting for him to get through his unbearably long message. By the third call, his schmaltzy message seemed interminable. I was filled with those “petty thoughts of anger, exasperation, and spite” he warned against because of his darn message. I found it impossible to “rise above it” and “focus my thoughts in the direction of fulfillment and accomplishment.” I wanted to punch him in the nose. Outgoing messages are not the venues to give inspirational messages or to impress the world with one’s accomplishments.
Another friend of mine, a writer, earned herself a few little cat stripes with this one on her machine:
“Hello, this is Cheryl Smith. Cheryl is on her national book tour,” (she paused so all callers could be appropriately impressed)
“making appearances in twelve cities.” (Another pause as though awaiting applause.) “She’ll be returning on October 7.” (What’s this “she” bit? Cheryl herself is speaking.) “Please leave your message for her at the tone.” Beep. Yes, Cheryl, we know you’re an important author. But your third-party reference to self, your narcissistic tone of voice, and topping it off with twelve cities would make any big cat snicker through his whiskers.
One last codicil: Avoid one particular message many businesspeople use these days—“I’m either away from my desk or on the other line.” The subtext of this message is “I’m a slave chained to my desk and it is an amazing fact that I have escaped for the moment.” One night I was working into the wee hours. At 4 a.m. I decided to leave a message on a colleague’s business phone so she’d get it as soon as she came in at nine. “Hello,” the message 07 (229-264B) part seven 8/14/03 9:19 AM Page 251
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chirped. “This is Felicia. I’m either away from my desk or on the other line right now, but leave your message at the tone.” Beep. Felicia, of course you’re away from your desk—it’s 4 a.m. on Sunday morning! “On the other line?” At this hour? I hope not!
You never know how your message is going to affect someone. Just keep yours neutral, friendly, constantly changing, short, and understated. No boasts, no bells, no whistles.
Technique #66
Constantly Changing Outgoing Message
If you want to be perceived as conscientious and
reliable, leave a short, professional, and friendly
greeting as your outgoing message. No music. No jokes.
No inspirational messages. No boasts, bells, or whistles. And here’s the secret: change it every day. Your message doesn’t have to be flawless. A little cough or stammer
gives a lovely unpretentious reality to your message.
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67
How to Get Them to
Call You Back
Producers of big Broadway musicals can be brutal during auditions. An anxious wanna-be star, after rehearsing his audition song for weeks, steps onstage. He opens his mouth to sing. After a few notes, the heartless producer shouts, “Thank you. NEEEXXXT!”
Dreams of stardom dashed in ten seconds!
Businesspeople’s professional dreams can also be dashed in the first ten seconds of their “audition.” Their audition is the message they leave on someone else’s answering machine.
Competent businesspeople wouldn’t dream of sending a messy handwritten business letter to a VIP on cheap yellow-stained paper and expect a response. They know the recipient would toss it in the trash. Nevertheless, some of these same folks will leave a lackluster message on a VIP’s voice mail and expect a callback. No one ever told them that big winners scrutinize messages on their voice mail with the same consideration of a big Broadway producer. If you sound good, you’ve got a chance. If you don’t, you are fastforwarded out of their life. Salespeople, suitors, candidates, and competitors who leave crisp, intelligent, upbeat messages on voice mail get called back. Losers with lackluster tones and uncrafted messages never hear from Mr. or Ms. Make It Happen. Make sure your message
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reflects three Cs: Confidence, Clarity, and Credibility. In addition, make it entice, entertain, or interest the listener. A flat “This is Joe, call me back” doesn’t score with big winners.
Stay Tuned For . . .
Radio DJs use tricks to keep their listeners tuned in. Top salespeople have similar little tricks to entice prospects to call them back. Here’s one called a cliff-hanger. To make sure listeners won’t switch stations during the radio commercial, the broadcaster throws out a mini-mystery: “And right after the commercial we’ll be back with the winning ticket . . . It could be yours . . . Stay tuned!” Whenever you leave a voice mail message for anyone, try to include a cliff-hanger: “Hi, Harry, this is Andrew. I have the answer to that question you asked me last week.” Or “Hi Diane, this is Betsy. I have some big news about that project we were discussing.” Now Harry and Diane have a reason to call Andrew and Betsy back.
Pitch personality into your message, too. Picture the people listening to it. Say something to pique their curiosity or make them smile. The message you leave is your ten-second audition. Make it good.
Technique #67
Your Ten-Second Audition
While dialing, clear your throat. If an answering
machine picks up, pretend the beep is a big Broadway
producer saying “Nexxxt.” Now you’re on. This is Your
Ten-Second Audition to prove you are worthy of a
quick callback.
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Incidentally, if someone’s voice mail unexpectedly comes on and you are unprepared, quickly hang up (before the beep so they don’t get a hang-up message.) Take a moment to craft your entertaining, enticing, or interesting message. Rehearse it once with confidence, clarity, and charisma. Then redial to leave your great hot message.
A funny thing happens. If your party answers this time, you’ll be disappointed.
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How to Make the
Gatekeeper Think
You’re Buddy-Buddy
with the VIP
The inspiration for this next telephone technique comes from personal experiences with mid-Manhattan toilets (a less-than-refined origin, to be sure). New York City, in spite of all its reputed sophistication, lags some of the shabbiest European cities in one respect. Manhattan has few public toilets. And none of those Europeanstyle, charming, and at times very much appreciated, freestanding structures on street corners.
In the days when I made sales calls around the busy city of New York, this presented a problem. Several times a day. I often found myself at the mercy of coffee-shop cashiers who jealously guarded their restroom facilities. Some shops even put menacingly scribbled signs in the window, “Bathrooms are for customers only.”
I often found that if I played it straight—going up to the cashier and asking if I could use the amenities—I’d get shot down. So I used the following technique. Without casting a glance at the cashier, I’d strut confidently into the coffee shop. I’d march right past the bathroom bouncer and keep my gaze fixed on one of the booths. She’d assume I was coming for lunch or had simply
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returned to collect my forgotten gloves. Once past the gatekeeper of the loo, I’d wait for her to be busy ringing up the next check. Then, like greased lightning, I’d sprint into the john. I dubbed this deception “The Ho-Hum Caper” after my feigned attitude of “Ho hum, business as usual. I come here every day with nothing on my mind but lunch.”
Let us now translate that sneaky subterfuge into a seldomfail phone technique. You can use the maneuver to sneak around secretaries and dodge their heartless screening. Instead of playing it straight and asking for your party by name, just say “Is he in?” or “Is she in?” Using the pronoun is verbally sprinting past the secretary with a business as usual, “Ho hum, I call every day”
attitude.
Technique #68
The Ho-Hum Caper
Instead of using your party’s name, casually let the
pronoun
he
or
she
roll off your tongue. Forget “Uh, may I speak to Ms. Bigshot please?” Just announce,
“Hi, Bob Smith here, is she in?” Tossing the familiar
she
off your tongue signals to the secretary that you and her boss are old buddies.
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How to Make Them
Say You Have Super
Sensitivity
Whenever you’re on the phone with someone, you hear a lot more than their voices. In the background you might hear dogs barking, babies crying, or a crackling sound. For all you know, the dog has his tail caught in the refrigerator, the baby has to be fed, or the house is on fire. When you acknowledge the sound by asking if they have to take care of it, you warm the hearts of your listeners.
When you are talking to someone at work, you often hear another phone ringing. Say immediately, “I hear your other line. Do you have to answer it?” Even if not, he or she will appreciate the gesture. If he does have to catch the other call, you can be sure he heard nothing you said after the first ring. He’s only thinking
“How can I interrupt this babbling person without being rude so I can answer my other phone?” In fact with every brr-ing, irritation sets in that you are holding him hostage from doing what he has to do.
Here is the technique guaranteed to save you from being in that uncomfortable position.
The subtext, of course, is that you are sensitive to what’s going on in your caller’s world. If you’re talking to someone far away or in another country, another way to show you’re tops in the com
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munications department is to translate time references into their time zone. When you leave a message, say “I can be reached between three and five your time.”
Technique #69
“I He ar Your Other Line”
When you hear a phone in the background, stop
speaking—in midsentence, if necessary—and say “I
hear your other line,” (or your dog barking, your baby
crying, your spouse calling you). Ask whether she has
to attend to it. Whether she does or not, she’ll know
you’re a top communicator for asking.
And don’t forget foreign holidays. Last July 1, I was on the phone with a client from Australia. I was impressed when he wished me “Happy Independence Day weekend.” So impressed, in fact, I ran out to find a chart of international holidays. I made a note in my calendar next January 26 to wish my Aussie friend
“Happy Australia Day.”
If you do business with people around the world, be sure to extend good wishes to them for their holidays. Forget about your own if they’re not shared. I’m still mortified about the time last November when I was on a conference call with a Canadian client and seven of his salespeople. I wished them all “Happy Thanksgiving.”
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