#5 Not What I Expected (8 page)

Sophie: Hurry!

Harry: Ur annoying.

Sophie: WHO???

Harry: Both of you.

Me: Hurry up!

Sophie: Yeah!

Harry: Chill!

Sophie:

Me:

Harry: It's Halloween.

Me:

Sophie:

Sophie: Stop texting and hurry up!

Harry: I'm coming.

Harry:

Saturday, November 1, 10:57 a.m.

Sophie just left

Worst Halloween ever

I can't believe I was so excited to go to the party last night. It was literally the worst Halloween ever (and last Halloween, when all my friends were mad at me for kissing Matt when Billy and I were together, was pretty awful). I should have taken it as a sign when Mom tried to talk me out of going to the party. Actually, it was like a third sign. Leo had tried to talk me out of it first. Then Brynn said it didn't sound like fun. Then Mom. I should have listened to one of them.

I could sugarcoat it (dumb Halloween reference) and write about the good parts of the night that led up to the bad part. I did have fun walking to the party with Harry and Sophie, ringing doorbells to get candy, then joking around as we threw candy to each other and tried catching it in our mouths. But what's the point when what happened when we got to the party overshadowed all that?

At first, everything was cool. Mark's backyard was packed. Some seniors, but mostly juniors and sophomores, and a few kids from my class. Sophie and Harry and I were all hanging out. After a while, Harry drifted off with some friends and kind of disappeared.

Sophie and I were talking to the kids who were there from our grade when Chase Campbell, a junior on the football team and widely considered to be the hottest guy at school, started talking to Sophie. I could tell Sophie wasn't that into him, but he was telling her some long story about something that happened at a game, and she couldn't really walk off while he was in the middle of it. I felt like a third wheel just standing there, so I walked off.

I wasn't sure what to do with myself. I didn't want it to look like I didn't have anyone to talk to so I just started walking like I had somewhere to go. I walked to the back of Mark's yard. There were a bunch of trees and a tool shed, so I thought I could kind of hang out there undetected while Sophie talked to Chase, but that turned out to be a HUGE mistake.

Matt Parker was there, making out with Libby Walker, a cheerleader in his class. He was sitting on the ground with his back against the tool shed and Libby was sitting in his lap facing him. Her back was to me, and Matt's hands were on her butt. I couldn't see her face, or his, but I could tell by the way the way they were kissing that they were into it.

It wasn't like I wanted to be looking at them, but I couldn't help it. I just stood there staring. Then the worst thing happened. Matt and Libby stopped kissing for a second, and when they did, he looked up like he wanted to make sure no one else was back there, and he saw me standing there watching them. Our eyes locked. He stared at me for a few seconds, then he went back to kissing Libby like I wasn't even there.

I felt the party spinning around me. I went back to where Sophie was talking to Chase, and several of his teammates had joined them. My heart was racing as they talked. It's one thing to see Matt on my street while I'm walking my dog or at school while I'm trying to open my locker, but it's a whole other thing to see him at a party making out with another girl.

“What do you think?” I heard Sophie's voice. Everyone was looking at me like I was supposed to answer the question. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

“Is she a mute for Halloween?” some guy asked. People laughed.

Sophie took my arm. “Excuse us,” she said and led me to the bathroom. When we got there, I sank down onto the floor. Sophie sat down beside me and I told her about seeing Matt kissing Libby and how he saw me watching them.

“You didn't do anything wrong,” said Sophie. “If people make out at a party, there's a good chance other people are going to see them.”

“I know. But why did I have to stand there staring? It was so embarrassing.” Sophie looked at me. I think she got that embarrassment wasn't the only issue. She leaned against me, and we sat quietly like that for a long time. Finally, Sophie broke the silence. “I called my dad. He's not coming for Thanksgiving.”

“I'm sorry,” I said. I put my head on her shoulder.

We didn't move until someone started banging on the door. “Want to go?” she asked.

I nodded and we left the party. As we walked home, I asked Sophie about her conversation with her dad. “I don't want to talk about it,” she said. Then she changed the subject and talked about boys and how they can be jerks and that Matt is at the top of that list.

“He saw me looking at him. That's just so embarrassing.”

Sophie laughed. “He's the one who should be embarrassed.”

She was trying to cheer me up. In my head, I knew what she was saying was true, but I couldn't help that it hurt seeing him with another girl.

Sophie and I had already planned to have a sleepover after the party. When we got to my house, we went to my room and got in bed, but I couldn't sleep. I was tossing and turning and thinking about what I saw at the party. Then, the all-too-familiar sounds of my parents arguing drifted into my room from their room across the hall. It was bad enough listening to my parents fight, but worse that Sophie had to hear them too.

“Sorry,” I said even though I hadn't done anything wrong.

“It's OK,” said Sophie. “Boys suck and so do parents.”

It was a such a dark, out-of-character comment from Sophie, but it had a lullaby effect on me, and I think her too, because we both closed our eyes.

I don't even remember falling asleep.

The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease forever to be able to do it.

—Peter Pan

Saturday, November 1, 11:47 a.m.

In my room

Harry just called. I'm not sure if it's because Sophie called him when she left and told him he should or if he just thought he should. “I saw Matt and Libby last night,” he said without wasting any time on hellos. “Is that why you left?” he asked.

“Yep.”

“Matt's a jerk,” said Harry.

I let out a breath. “You've said that before.”

“And I was right.”

Harry was trying to make me feel better. I appreciated his loyalty, and he
was
right. Matt is a jerk. But he has a sweet side too. He was so cute when he asked me out that day at the beach and when he used to hang out with me and my sisters and do things like rake pine needle houses or play Monopoly.

I don't even know why I'm thinking about all that. Whether Matt is a jerk or sweet, or some of both, doesn't erase the fact that I watched him make out at a party with another girl.

That hurt.

Sunday, November 2, 6:45 p.m.

In a downward spiral

While I was walking Gilligan today, Matt came outside. He didn't have Matilda with him, so it wasn't like he went outside to walk his dog. He caught up to me like he had something he wanted to say to me. For once, he spoke first. “It was kind of creepy how you were staring at Libby and me.”

I couldn't believe what he'd said or that he used the word
creepy
to describe me.
Creepy
was being confronted on my street when I was walking my dog. “I wasn't staring at you.” I wanted my words to sound angry, not defensive. I'm not sure Matt picked up on it.

He shrugged. “It seemed like you were.”

I couldn't believe how insensitive he was being. “I wasn't staring. I was surprised. I wasn't expecting to see you at a party making out with another girl.”

Matt pursed his lips. “You know we broke up.”

“I know,” I said with a big nod—like,
of course
I know. Then I grabbed Gilligan by the leash, turned, and walked home.

There were a lot of things I should have said.
I'm glad. You're a jerk. Wish we'd never gone out in the first place.
But I didn't. I think I was too shocked. It was the most Matt Parker had ever had to say.

I never thought I'd say this, but I like him more when he's quiet.

8:17 p.m.

Things just keep getting worse. When I got out of the shower, Mom was in my room sitting on my bed. “April, can you come into the den, please? Dad and I would like to talk to you.”

“I have a towel on.” I gestured to the water still dripping down from my hair.

“Dry off and put on your pajamas,” said Mom. “We'll be waiting.”

When I got there, May and June were already sitting on the couch. I sat beside them and eyed my parents. Mom and Dad were both standing, and Dad had his arms crossed. They both looked tense, especially Dad. “Why are we having a family conference?” I asked.

Mom looked like she was glad someone had asked that question, though my intention hadn't been to be helpful. I mainly just wanted out of there.

“Girls, your father and I want to talk to you,” said Mom. “I have an opportunity to present my line to a store in Atlanta at the end of the month. It would be a huge deal if they carry my clothes.” She paused and looked at Dad. His face was expressionless.