31 Days of Winter (10 page)

I flicked on the main light and covered my eyes
until I adjusted and looked outside, but all I could see was my reflection, I
flicked another switch and the deck was illuminated, no sign of Dan, but there
was a picnic basket on the doormat outside. I realised that the door was
unlocked, he could’ve just walked straight in, there again like he said anyone
could. I opened it, grabbed the hamper, then shut and locked the door, removing
the key and turned off the outside light. I headed back to the kitchen and set
the basket on the worktop.
Christ, what was in it?
It was seriously
heavy. I lifted the hinged lid on one side and saw a bottle of champagne, two
bottles of wine, one red and one white, and not your cheap crappy wine or
champagne either, and a box of chocolate truffles. I opened the other side and
there was a fresh small loaf of bread and more bacon, cheese, eggs and milk,
and three deli ready prepared meals for one. A mushroom risotto with wild rice,
a chicken chasseur with mashed potatoes and green beans, and a beef stroganoff
with wild rice. There was also a slice of Bailey’s cheesecake, lemon cheesecake
and a chocolate éclair, and an envelope with “Miss Baxter” hand written on the
front. I sat at the island and opened it.

You didn’t phone me with your list of
requirements for your groceries and you must be nearly out of food by now. I
tried to pick a few things I hoped you’d like as I didn’t know if you were
vegetarian or not. I was worried when I came back to see all the lights were
out. I think it would be a good idea if you rang me at six p.m. each evening to
let me know that you’re ok and you can give me any lists for whatever you may
need the following day. Again, I’m very sorry for the way I handled things
earlier. You do deserve so much more after what you’ve been through and I’m
sorry that I’m not the man to give you what you need. Please don’t hate me and
don’t doubt yourself, this has nothing to do with you, I’m just not in a position
to take things further with you, however much I’d like to. Sleep tight Miss
Baxter, and I’ll speak to you tomorrow. D.

I sighed and wiped another few tears from my face
as I read the last paragraph again. I really didn’t understand men, that much was
clear. I put the contents of the hamper away, keeping out the beef stroganoff
and champagne, which I popped as I was microwaving my meal, and I toasted
myself to another fresh start in the morning.

Ellie

The sun woke me up again
and I had to relieve myself after yet another dream about Dan, where we’d got
as far as heavy petting. I touched my lips with my fingertips, remembering how
his had felt against them, how they’d made me feel, and quivered. I had a
horrible feeling that sexy dreams and the need to masturbate was going to be a
nightly and morning occurrence. Even the thought of Matt and Zac had never got
me so desperate to have sex, whatever pheromones Dan was emitting needed
bottling. I went for another run, this time when I reached about a quarter of
the way around the island, I made a pile of rocks at the side of the path as a
marker and turned back and made my way home. After another shower, a bacon
sandwich and a coffee, I headed to the desk and made myself comfortable and emailed
Brooke.

Morning, checking in as promised. How are
things? Is Maisie still alive? So, today is my fresh start, I have twenty-six
days to write my novel and chapter one begins here. Don’t email me back now, I
need to focus, I was too distracted with other things yesterday. I’ll banter
with you later. xx

I opened up my laptop and a new blank Word
document and sat looking at the screen for ages. The idea of writing seemed
easy, but now I was looking at that white screen, my fingers hovering above my
keyboard, I was starting to revise that assessment. Writers gave birth to a
story, it was their own creation. As an editor, I simply worked on their child,
I was like a plastic surgeon, fixing a hare lip, or sticky out ears, or tidying
up a scar that drew unnecessary attention. I just prettied things up, I’d never
had to come up with anything creative or original. I looked up and out to the snow-capped
mountains and the blanket of green fir, and wondered what the hell I’d been
thinking.

Something caught my attention in my peripheral
vision and my eyes were drawn down to the boathouse. I quickly forgot all about
anything but the sight of Dan in his jeans and a jumper wielding an axe. I
watched as he picked up large logs that were propped up against this side of the
boathouse and swung the axe and split them. He did it again and again, until he
ran a hand over his face, put the axe down and peeled his jumper off to reveal
a tight grey t-shirt clinging to his torso. I reached up and wiped my mouth
after I’d licked my lips. He carried on incessantly chopping, how much wood did
one man need? Then I laughed as I heard that sentence back in my head, I knew
how much wood I needed and it didn’t look like I’d be getting his plentiful
supply. I sat up a little straighter when he dropped the axe again and this
time pulled off his t-shirt and my breathing hitched.

However good he looked with clothes on, was
nothing
compared to the sight I saw in front of me. I tried to remember if I’d seen any
binoculars as I’d toured the house yesterday, I could definitely do with a
closer look. I whipped round, grabbed my iPad and opened the camera app,
propping it up on its case and zoomed in on him. ‘
Damn it Ellie, you were
supposed to be forgetting men and focussing on writing,’
I muttered to
myself as my eyes roved down his big flexing biceps and picked up on the light
dusting of dark arm hair on his forearms. His pecs were just in perfect
symmetry as was his six pack, which glistened with the sheen of sweat clinging
to his torso. I ran my tongue over my bottom lip as I imagined licking his damp
body. Damn him, he could turn me on without even trying. I pressed the capture
button, unable to stop myself and gulped as he picked up his t-shirt and wiped
his face and throat with it. I quickly averted my gaze when he suddenly looked
up towards the house and right at me and I felt my cheeks, as well as my pussy,
flame.

What was he doing?
I carefully looked back
again, trying not to make it obvious, but he’d vanished. Was it just
coincidence that he looked straight at me, or had he known I was watching him
all the time? The thought crossed my mind that he’d known I was up here and had
deliberately put on that show for me, but why would he do that? He knew how
upset I’d been when he rejected me, why would he choose to tease me? I got up
and marched into the bathroom, opened the wardrobe and unzipped my virtually
empty case. Empty but for the Body Wand electric vibrator that I’d bought with
Brooke. I needed some serious tension relief and I needed it now. One look at
his hot half-naked body was all it had taken. I searched all around the bed,
but couldn’t find a socket, then spotted one over on the wall.

‘Are you freakin’ kidding me,’
I groaned,
it was too far away to stretch to the bed and I needed to be comfortable, I
planned on going at it for a while. I ran into the guest room and smiled to see
a table lamp was plugged in right next to the bed. I yanked it out, plugged in
my new toy and quickly stripped off, my heart was galloping and my breathing was
totally erratic. The sight of his body had flicked me into overdrive, I needed
to come, and fast. I lay down on the top of the bed, the coolness of the gold
comforter below only adding to the agony of my desperation. I slowly turned the
dial and applied the round smooth head of the wand straight onto my clit and
groaned, really loudly.
‘Holy shit,’
I groaned again. The vibrations
were seriously intense and I was hit with an immediate hard orgasm that had me
sit upright in bed as my eyes went wide and my jaw trembled, along with the
rest of my body. I sank back down onto the bed. Even at the height of our lust
for each other Zac had never made me come that quickly. I panted for a few
minutes and calmed down and then went for it again, then again, and a fourth
time until I heard myself scream and melted into the mattress, hearing birds
tweeting while stars danced in my eyes.

I woke up to find it was dark and I stumbled off
the bed and turned on the main light and went to the en-suite and cleaned the
slickness from between my thighs.
That
was definitely on the email
agenda with Brooke tonight. What a toy! I quickly pulled on my fleecy lumberjack
checked shirt, grabbed my iPhone and iPad and raced down to the kitchen feeling
ravenous and saw it was just after five, no wonder I was hungry, I’d missed
lunch and had a load of orgasms as well as a run. I heated up the chicken
chasseur and took the half empty bottle of champagne out of the fridge and
popped a truffle in to keep me going. I padded over to the lounge and stuck my
iPhone on the Bose docking station and cranked up the volume as I selected an
upbeat playlist and danced my way back to the kitchen. I sat at the island
eating and swigging the champagne straight from the bottle. I cleared up and
giggled as I realised I was a bit tipsy again, like last night. Wine I could handle,
but there was something about bubbles that just went straight to my head. I
picked up the bottle and started to dance around the ground floor, barefoot,
bare legged and bare … pretty much everything other than this short fleecy
shirt, and then started my own karaoke party with the empty bottle as I danced.
Brooke and I loved karaoke! One of the many things about our friendship that
Zac had disapproved off. I skipped back to the island and propped up my iPad
and sent her an email.

I miss you already, I’ve drunk half a bottle of
champagne and I’m singing “Roar” at the top of my lungs. I’ve been really
naughty, I sat at my laptop all ready to write and then Dan came out to chop
logs and I had to watch. Then he stripped off his jumper and by the time he
stripped off his t-shirt he was dripping with sweat and I was dripping
elsewhere. I broke out the Body Wand and Jesus Christ! I came four times in
under twenty minutes. It’s AMAZING. Who needs a boyfriend when you have a Body Wand
to service you whenever you feel like it? You need to email me your shifts, so
I don’t get my hopes up that we can banter and you’re not there. I’m wondering
if being here is such a good idea, I haven’t spoken to anyone all day and it’s
kind of lonely. Love you, miss you. xx

I sighed and opened the fridge again and pulled
out the Baileys Cheesecake. This was the longest I’d ever been alone in years.
It had been … I checked my watch, over twenty-four hours and I wasn’t sure I
liked it. I was someone who loved company. How did people live like this day
after day? It was seven p.m. and I was supposed to have rung Dan with my
grocery list, but I couldn’t face talking to him. I had enough food to see me
through until tomorrow night. I ate another truffle and took one of the large
bottles of water out of the fridge and turned off the lights and headed back
upstairs and played with my toy for another hour, before stumbling into the
bathroom and laughing as I saw my flushed cheeks and sex matted hair. I turned
to pour a bath and heard the loud knock at the front door again.
What now?
Had he come to leave more ready meals and another letter for me? I pulled on my
shirt and went down and flicked on the outside light and screamed as I jumped
out of my skin. He was standing right outside the door, just the width of the
glass in the door separating us.

‘Dan,’ I scolded as I drank in the sight of him in
black jeans and a thick black jumper. It hinted at what lay beneath, but now
I’d seen the top half of his body in all its glory, it was all I could see when
I looked at him. ‘I thought we weren’t supposed to be seeing each other,’ I
called through glass.

‘You didn’t ring me again and I wanted to make
sure you were ok.’

‘I’m fine thank you, goodnight.’ I reached out to
flick the light off and saw his eyes travel down my body and realised all of my
legs were on display. I hadn’t even put on any knickers as I hadn’t expected
him to be standing there.

‘You’ve done something different to your hair,’ he
frowned as he nodded up at it.

‘I’ve been masturbating all afternoon, it’s sex
hair. Anything else I can help you with?’

‘You’re really going to play the childish tantrum
card?’ he asked with a sexy frown.

‘I thought we’d agreed to be honest with each
other, Dan.’

‘Not when you know it will deliberately taunt me,
especially coming down to answer the door dressed like that,’ he replied with a
flick of his head.

‘I didn’t know you’d be standing there. Besides, like
you didn’t taunt me chopping logs bare chested this afternoon in temperatures
of nearly minus … whatever? If there’s nothing else, I have a date with a vibrator
to get back to.’

‘Fine,’ he sighed and I watched him change back
into formal mode. ‘You’ll need to let me have your grocery list for tomorrow.
You can call me as soon as you’re ready.’

‘I need to write it down anyway so why don’t I do
that and leave it outside for you and you can pick it up in the morning.’

‘As you wish, Miss Baxter.’ He went to turn away
and for some reason I stepped closer to the glass door and put a palm up on it.
I watched as he froze and flexed his fingers and then clenched them into a
tight fist.

‘Dan?’

‘Yes?’

‘Thank you for the hamper yesterday, it was very
thoughtful and I’ll put it out tomorrow with the list and some money for what
you got me.’

‘No money required.’

‘There’s no way I’m living here for a month at the
rate I’ve paid
and
having champagne and food purchased for me too.’

‘It was an apology gift.’

‘I don’t want apology gifts.’

‘What do you want, Miss Baxter?’ he asked as his
lip twitched upwards in a knowing sexual smile making my stomach flip flop.

‘What I can’t have,’ I sighed, and as his eyes locked
with mine and showed me he was feeling the frustration too, I flicked off the outside
light so that I couldn’t see him anymore.

I sat at the island and turned his letter over and
found a pen and wrote out a list of items that I wanted. I went upstairs,
grabbed my purse and put out enough notes to cover the list and the hamper
goodies from yesterday. At some stage I was going to have to travel over with
him as I hadn’t brought loads of cash with me. I crossed through the “Miss
Baxter” on the front of the envelope and wrote “Dan” on it and was about to
seal the envelope when I stopped and read his apology paragraph again and the
line “
I’m not in a position to take things further with you, however much I
want to.”
I wrote in big letters next to it, “
WHY?”
then sealed it,
popped it in the hamper and put it out on the door step and looked down at the
lights in the boathouse. Could I really do another twenty-five days of this? It
was complete torture.