31 Days of Autumn (19 page)

Just two steps and one week. Not even coke gave
me the high I was feeling right now. Just knowing that months of waiting,
watching, and working were about to pay off, was all the rush I needed. I’d
never wanted kids, they’d never been on my priority list in life, but a kid
like that? He’d better have inherited his dad’s brains, not just his looks. If
I ended up with a kid with Ellie’s brain, he may as well be dead for all the
use he’d be to me.

Monday 7
^th
September

Ellie

‘Why are you getting up so damn early,’ Dan moaned,
as I fought off his sexual advances in my struggle to get out of bed.

‘It’s his first day at school and mums at the
school gate can be vicious, so I need to make sure I look presentable. Then I
have to prepare breakfast, get Jonas and Eva ready for Mrs. McAdams to watch,
get Oliver into his new uniform, and be ready for Jenny to take us.’

‘You’re doing a one hour journey down the
mountain by car, when you could be there in less than ten minutes if you took
the helicopter. That’s fifty minutes you could spend in bed with me,’ he
coaxed.

‘I’m not having Oliver turn up on his first day
in a helicopter, Dan,’ I replied, slapping his groping hands away. ‘I want the
other mums to like me, and rubbing your wealth in their face, as well as
setting up Oliver to be viewed differently, isn’t the way to go about it.’

‘Our wealth,’ he corrected, kissing my neck and
making my resolve weaken by the second.

‘Please, this is a really big day. I want to
make a good impression and for everyone to treat Oliver like any of the other
four year olds. Plus, with not attending reception school, he’s already at a
disadvantage as he doesn’t know anyone. We can have sex anytime, just not this
morning.’

‘You say that, but we’ve still not had our
boardroom fantasy from a few years ago,’ he sighed, letting me go. I twisted
around and ran my fingers over his lips before kissing him softly.

‘Then we’ll make a date for the next time we’re
in London, ok? God knows I’d love to spend the morning in bed with you, but
today is Oliver’s big day.’

‘I knew having three kids would reduce our sex
life,’ he grumbled between kisses.

‘Please, we still have it more often than any
other couple I know. If you’re unhappy with the arrangement, I can always take
them to London and leave you up here to stew on your own again.’

‘Don’t you dare,’ he growled, twisting his hand
in my hair, kissing me so hard I saw stars. ‘You’re everything to me, Ellie, you
and my children. I love each and every single one of you and I don’t want to
change one damn thing about my life.’

‘And we love you just as much in return, but I
still need to get up.’

‘Come on then, let’s go and shower and get
ready. I’ll sort out Oliver and Jonas while you do Eva.’ His lust-fuelled green
eyes closed for a moment as he let out a sigh of frustration.

‘I know you’re busy. I’ll sort them, you go and
work,’ I replied, kissing him again.

‘If you think I’m not coming with you on
Oliver’s first day, you don’t know me very well.’

‘I just assumed … I thought you’d need to be
here for work,’ I uttered, totally surprised.

‘I promised that I’d do everything in my power
to be the sort of father that would be there for all special occasions, and his
first day of school counts as one. Come on, then. If I can’t have you before we
go, I need breakfast,’ he advised as he leapt out of bed. I smiled as I
watched him head into our en-suite, his pert backside flexing as he walked. He
was amazing. I was so touched that he was coming with us on Oliver’s first day.
He’d insisted on enrolling him at the only private school in Domartie, as it
had smaller classes and more staff for personalised attention. It was also a
bonus because we got to spend more time with Oliver, as they had different term
dates to the state schools. Most children had started school a couple of weeks
ago, but we'd been able to enjoy the rest of the summer with Oliver at home.
Right now, though, those extra weeks still didn’t seem like enough. I
wasn’t ready to let my little boy go.

I stood at the kitchen island sipping my coffee
as I watched them all eating breakfast. Oliver looked adorable in his grey
uniform, white shirt, and navy tie and jumper. Dan had dressed Jonas in a pair
of jeans with a long sleeve top and sat him on a chair next to his big brother,
where they were both eating their cereal. Eva was in a red jumper with her
little blue dungarees, getting frustrated that she had to sit in her high
chair. She’d advanced so much faster than her brothers and always wanted to sit
in a normal chair, like they did. She tried to copy them so often that we had
to keep a close eye on her at all times. She absolutely adored Dan, she was a
real Daddy’s girl, and I’d been surprised at how much attention he gave her,
given he’d made it clear he was content with his two boys. Oliver was at the
age where he was copying everything his dad did, wanting to sit with him up in
his office and pretend to be on the phone, tapping the keys of the spare
computer Dan had set up for him to play with. Jonas, I smiled as I looked at
him, well Jonas was all about me. He ran everywhere, frequently bumping into or
tripping over things, and when he did, it was me he wanted to comfort him. He
suddenly looked up, his eyes searching for me, and broke into a grin when he
saw me watching him. I blew him a kiss. God, he was the spitting image of my
dad and really stood out as he was so blond. Eva still had a mop of Dan’s dark
hair, but had all of my mum’s facial features, mine too as we looked so
similar, whereas Oliver was all Dan. There was no mistaking him as Dan’s son.

‘Cuddles, Mummy,’ Jonas called.

‘Eat your cereal first please, then everyone
gets cuddles.’

‘Me too?’ asked Dan with a twinkle in his eye
as he glanced up at me.

‘You especially,’ I smiled. ‘You did a great
job getting the boys ready this morning.’ I waved as I saw Jenny heading up.
Oliver jumped off his seat and ran over to fling his arms around her legs as
soon as she opened the front door.

‘Morning,’ she laughed. ‘Did someone miss me?’

‘He always misses you, Jenny. Coffee?’

‘No, I’m good thanks. Is it weird that I’m
feeling nervous about his first day?’

‘Thank God it’s not just me. I’m close to tears
already and Dan thinks I’m crazy.’

‘He’s only going to be gone for three quarters
of the day,’ Dan reminded me with a roll of his eyes.

‘Half a day would be too long when I’ve had him
with me for the last four and a bit years,’ I protested, quickly finishing my
drink. Oliver dragged Jenny to his bedroom to show her his latest drawing while
I packed his small school bag with a couple of drinks and a snack box with an
apple, orange, and some yogurt-coated raisins. I looked down at my outfit and
chewed my lip.

‘You look gorgeous. There’s no need to change
again, Ellie,’ Dan called, sensing my thoughts. I’d showcased about four
different outfits to him before finally choosing this one. I’d gone with a pair
of black jeans, high heels, and an emerald cashmere sweater, leaving my long
hair down. I’d even put on some makeup. I wanted to look smart, yet casual and
effortless. ‘Besides, the mums will all be too busy looking at me to check you
out,’ he winked. I laughed, he probably had a point.

Twenty minutes later, the house was a hive of
activity. Mrs. McAdams was in the playroom entertaining Jonas and Eva, Jenny
was chasing Oliver around the dining table, and Andy had arrived and headed
straight upstairs to see Dan. I frowned as I looked up at them on the
mezzanine. I’d noticed them having a number of private discussions lately and I
had a feeling something was going on that they didn’t want me to know about. I
went to kiss Jonas and Eva goodbye and grabbed my bag, then called up to Dan
that it was time.

‘Morning, Mrs. Davenport,’ nodded Andy as he
joined me at the front door. I looked at him surprised. We had a connecting
door from the security extension through to our utility room, so I wondered why
he was standing here next to me.

‘Morning. What’s going on? Are you coming with
us, too?’

‘I am,’ he confirmed.

‘Is that necessary? Dan’s coming and we’re only
dropping Oliver at the school gates.’

‘No,’ called Dan from upstairs as I heard him
walking around to the stairs. ‘We’re spending the day in Domartie. I’m taking
you shopping and out for lunch, and we’ll pick up Oliver when we’re done. I’ve
asked Jenny and Andy to come with us.’

‘Dan, I don’t want everyone looking at us. Two
bodyguards is a bit much,’ I protested, giving him my best pleading face as he
jogged down the stairs.

‘They’ll stay at a discreet distance, but I’m
not budging on the matter. Andy will drive, Jenny upfront and you, Oliver and I
in the back. Ready?’

‘Yes, but I still think it’s overkill.’

‘I don’t. Ollie, come on, time to go,’ he
called. Oliver raced over and Dan picked him up and kissed him, while Jenny
grabbed his rucksack before joining us. I bit my tongue. I wasn’t going to
argue with Dan in front of our staff, but he was hiding something from me.

‘I don’t want to go, Mummy,’ Oliver moaned as I
undid his seat belt.

‘I know that it’s new and scary, but look, see
how many other little boys and girls are here. They all feel the same, but think
how many friends you’re going to make and all the fun you’ll have.’

‘I have fun at home. Why can’t Jonas come,
too?’

‘Because he’s too young. Only big boys and
girls get to come to school. I promise, it might seem scary now, but by the end
of the day, you’ll be so excited to tell me everything that you’ve done.’

‘Come on, Ollie. What did Daddy tell you in the
car?’ Dan asked as he reached in and lifted him out.

‘That I had to be a brave boy,’ he replied, his
bottom lip wobbling. I had to bite mine to stop myself from crying as I slid
out of the Range Rover to join them. Dan took my hand as he started walking us
towards the entrance.

‘And what do brave boys get for dinner on their
first day of school?’

‘Pizza?’ he replied, looking over at me. It was
all I could do to nod.

‘Not just pizza,’ Dan replied. ‘Pepperoni pizza
with a cheese-stuffed crust
and
Ben and Jerry’s Cookie Dough ice cream
for pudding.’

‘Cookie Dough?’ Oliver asked, his eyes suddenly
wide with excitement. He usually only had that as a birthday treat. I was
pretty strict when it came to not letting them have too many sugary snacks.

‘Hmmmm,’ Dan confirmed. ‘So do you think you
can be brave now?’

‘Yes,’ he nodded vigorously.

‘Now remember, no looking up ladies’ skirts.
That’s not the sort of thing big boys do.’

‘Don’t you look up Mummy’s skirt anymore?’ he
asked, making me giggle and Dan try to contain his laughter. Oliver had come
into the kitchen one night and caught me sitting on the island, with Dan’s head
up my skirt as he pleasured me. We’d both been mortified and it had taken some
backtracking to try and explain what we were doing to an inquisitive four year
old.

‘No,’ Dan lied as we followed the other mothers
with young children through the double wooden doors. I noticed that there were
no other men so far and squeezed Dan’s hand, proud that he’d made the effort.
We were welcomed by Mrs. Taylor, who was in charge of the class. Dan discreetly
pointed out Andy and Jenny and reminded her that if there were any emergencies,
the school had full authority to release Oliver to their care. We’d had a
meeting with the Headmistress to explain our special circumstances and to be
clear that Oliver never left with anyone that wasn’t on the authorised list and
for whom they’d not had a picture of. All of a sudden, my anxiety started to
rise. The thought of leaving him here, unprotected, had me sick with worry.
‘Ellie, we need to go,’ Dan coaxed, after kissing Oliver and setting him down.

‘Just give me a minute, ok?’ I pleaded,
dropping to my knees in front of my little boy. ‘You promise Mummy you’ll be a
good boy and play nicely with all the other children?’

‘I promise, Mummy,’ he nodded, flinging his
arms around my neck. I hugged him tightly, taking some deep gulps of air as I
fought the urge to cry. I noticed that tears were already flowing for quite a
few of the other mums and children.

‘I’m going to miss you so much, darling,’ I
whispered, kissing his neck. ‘Daddy and I won’t be far away and we’ll be
waiting when you come out later, ok?’

‘Can’t you stay, too?’ he begged, looking up at
me with watery green eyes.

‘School’s not for grown-ups, darling,’ I
replied with a shake of my head. ‘I remember my mummy dropping me off for my
first day of school too, and while it was really scary, I had so much fun. I
got to play with lots of boys and girls, made new friends, and did so much
drawing and reading that I didn’t want to leave when it was time to go home.’

‘Really?’

‘Really, I promise. Give me a kiss as we need
to go, Mrs. Taylor’s waiting for us all to leave.’

‘I love you, Mummy,’ he announced, planting a
kiss on my lips.

‘I love you too, Oliver,’ I whispered,
reluctantly letting him go. ‘So much. See you later.’ I watched as Dan crouched
and gave him a hug, whispering something in his ear. He stood up and took my
hand and gently tugged, encouraging me to head to the door with him. I kept
looking back over my shoulder as Oliver stood there, his bag dangling from his
hand, all alone. Some of the other children were huddled together laughing,
others were crying and refusing to let go of their mums. It broke my heart to
walk away from him. I blew a kiss before Dan pulled me out of the room and out
of sight and all of my resolve to be brave melted. I started sobbing and Dan
quickly pulled me into his arms, Andy and Jenny discreetly turning around to
give us some privacy.