3 Kill Me Over the Garden Gate (2 page)

Chapter 3

Bean was looking around and stopped by the window.

Spaz tackled him. "Get down!"

Bean looked up from underneath her body. His chin rested in her cleavage. Spaz stretched to peek out the window. She looked to see if anyone saw Bean. She heard his muffled voice. "Uh, Spaz? Not that I'm complaining, but could you uh, move a little to the left, please?"

She looked down her front and saw only his eyes. His eyebrows waggled up and down. Spaz couldn't help but laugh and rolled to her side. "Sorry, Bean. Didn't mean to smother you."

Bean smiled back. "Oh, it's okay. Smother me some other time though. What are we doing here? And where are we?"

Spaz pushed to her feet and closed the blinds. "We're in my room. I don't exist. He keeps me and a couple other girls up here until play time."

"Play time?"

Spaz looked away. "You don't want to know."

Bean stood. "Yes I–"

Her head snapped around. "No. You really don't!"

Bean could feel the anger boiling up in him. He took her by the shoulders and looked her in the eye. "Yes. I. Do. I'm a big boy, Spaz. I can take it."

She bit her lip and looked away. "But–"

"But nothing, girl. Look at me." She glanced up. Bean shook her. "Evie, Look at me!"

She looked up. Bean relaxed the hold he had on her. "I
am
your friend. That means I care about you. Friends can tell friends the good and the bad." She began to pull away, and Bean held on. "Spaz, stop. Talk to me. Let me help. Everyone needs someone to unload on. Let me be your friend, dammit." He watched her eyes squeeze shut. "I'll even wear the purple beanie again." She smiled a small smile. Bean walked over to the bed. Spaz stood frozen where she was. Bean looked confused and realized it was because he'd sat on the bed. Bean's eyes grew wide. "Oh. Sorry. I get it. Don't worry about me, Spaz; I'm one guy who's perfectly safe."

Spaz stared at him. "Are you kidding me, man?" She stepped forward. "Ya coulda fooled me. I'd have never taken you for–"

Bean patted the bed. "Really? And here I thought I was an open book."

Spaz sat next to him and patted his knee. "This is great. Now I know my idea will work."

Bean smiled. "What plan? You got a plan? Great. Tell me, tell me! Can I help?"

Spaz grabbed his hands and pulled them into her lap. "Beanie Boy, you are the plan."

"Huh?"

Spaz squeezed his hands. Bean looked down and swallowed hard. She ran her thumb over his knuckles. She didn't notice the sweat break out on his forehead. She kept talking. He barely paid attention to what she said.

"So, Abby is really tall. We can use her tights."

Bean cleared his head. "Tights?"

Spaz bounced on the bed. She was warming to the idea. "Yeah shoes too. We can use one of her dresses. It will be long enough to cover your bum. You look skinny enough–"

"My what?"

Spaz looked at Bean. She slugged him in the arm. "Didn't you listen to anything? Your bum, Bean! You don't want your butt hangin' out there, do you? Of course the tights will help, and we can tuck your uh, stuff away too. I got enough makeup to take care of your homely face. Yup, it just might work."

Bean dropped her hands. "Wait a minute. Spaz, what are you talking about?"

Spaz scowled at him. "The plan, you moron! What do you think I'm talking about?"

"You plan on putting me in a dress? Are you nuts?"

"Not according to Dr. Browning, but she could be wrong, why?"

Bean hopped off the bed. "You're not putting me in a dress. No way, no how!"

Spaz giggled. "You sound like the Wizard of Oz."

Bean was really worked up. He paced and sputtered. "Well, girl, you are from Oz if you think I'm going to walk around dressed up as a girl. What good would it do, anyway?"

"Well, it would give us an excuse to be together. We could look for clues. You can sleep here. We could check out the gardener's cottage by the greenhouse. You'd be handy if I get into trouble. I'll be there for you too. Starting tomorrow there's going to be a house party. A bunch of rich guys are coming to golf. There're extra wait staff hired. Extra girls like me for the old farts."

"Spaz, no one is going to touch you if I–"

"Aw, come off it, Bean. I can't help being a ho any more than you can help being gay."

Bean's mouth dropped open. He sucked in a breath. His mouth moved, but nothing came out. Spaz went on. "So you see? It will work out great!"

She looked at Bean. His mouth was still moving and his hands waved in the air. "Bean, what's wrong? You look like a fish doing the tuna flop." She snapped her fingers in front of his face. "Bean. Snap out of it! Cripes, what the heck is wrong with you?"

Bean grabbed her fingers and choked. "Spaz, why do you think I'm gay?"

"Because you told me, dumbass."

"I never!"

"Yes you did! You sat right on my bed." She batted her eyelashes and struck a pose. "Oh, Spaz, I'm one guy that's perfectly safe, blah, blah, blah."

"That doesn't mean I'm gay! Geez! Get a grip. I only meant that friends never crawl into each other's pants. I didn't say I was gay!"

"Whoa, Bean, you know it really doesn't matter to me. I'm cool with the gay thing. In fact, it's better knowing I don't have to be on the lookout for–"

"Lookout? For what?
Ahhhg
–never mind. Let's just forget it."

"Good. Now that we have that issue out of the way, we can get started." She patted his cheek. "Leave it to me, Baby Cakes. You wait here." The door slammed behind her.

Bean closed his eyes. "Baby Cakes?" Maybe I'll wake up and this will have been a bad dream.

Chapter 4

He opened his eyes. He could still see Spaz's smile. Bean rolled his eyes and groaned.

She patted my cheek, for God's sake. Well hell, if it makes her feel better to think I'm gay for awhile, so what? Maybe she's right about the disguise thing too. Beats the crap out of hiding under a potting bench.

The door opened again and Spaz popped her head in. She came in and hopped on the bed.

Bean sighed. "Okay, where do we start?"

"Well, for starters, I have to do your make-up. I texted Abby, so she should be back any minute."

"Are you sure about this?"

She jumped off the bed and grabbed her huge purse-thing. "Yup. I'll be right back–don't move!"

The door slammed behind her again. Bean flopped back on the bed. He slapped a hand over his eyes. "Oh my God-what have I gotten into?"

A knock on the door had Bean bolting up. "Spaz wouldn't knock on her own door."

The doorknob rattled. A girl's voice said, "Kelli? Are you in there?"

Bean slid to the floor. "Oh crap, now what do I do?"

The doorknob rattled again and Bean dove under the bed. The door opened and Bean saw female feet step into the room. "Kelli?
Hmm
, that's weird. I could have sworn I heard…oh well, I'll just leave her a note."

The female feet moved to the table. "Oh, look at those cute shoes." Bean hoped she didn't mean the ones next to the bed. The strappy little-heeled things looked like they'd hurt. Don't bend down, girlie. Just go away.

Bean held his breath. He saw the girl's weight shift. Her heels rose as she leaned on her toes. Oh no, she's bending over!

He pressed himself against the wall, trying to make himself smaller and squeezed his eyes shut. He cracked open one eye and saw a hand slowly reach for a shoe. Bean held his breath.

Just then the doorknob rattled again. Bean heard Spaz squeak. "Abby."

The hand by the shoes stopped. It rose slowly out of sight. Abby Whatever stood and faced Spaz. He breathed a sigh of relief. He scooted closer to the girls. Abby bent to pick up a shoe. She nearly hit Bean in the nose. He backed away just in time.

Spaz looked around the room. "I was just looking for you, Abby." The door closed and Spaz slid the bolt home. She walked across the room and closed the closet door. Bean could see the girls in the mirror on the door. He hoped they couldn't see him.

"What is it, Kelli? Why did you lock the door? Are you okay?"

"I'm good, Abby, but I need your help, and you can't tell anyone."

"Wh-what is it? I can keep a secret."

Bean blew a dust ball away from his nose. Oh no, Spaz is going to spill the beans. He smiled at his own joke. Hah! Spill the
Beans.

"Swear on it."

"What?"

"Swear you won't tell anyone."

Abby looked around. "Sure, Kelli, I swear."

Spaz sighed and patted the girl's hand. She looked around the room. She wondered where Bean hid. She bit her lip and tried to think. "It's uh, my boy. I mean it's my friend. No. It's m-y-y-uh, brother. Yeah my brother. No, my sister. He, uh, she flew in from New Jersey. I mean Nebraska."

"So what is it, Kelli? Your brother or your sister from New Jersey or Nebraska?"

Spaz giggled and then cleared her throat. "My sister is from Nebraska. My brother is from New Jersey. My sister flew in at the last minute, and I told her to come here. She didn't bring any clothes and she's tall like you. I wanted to sneak her into the party. She's tall like you. I wanted to ask you if she could borrow something to wear."

"Sure, Kelli, but are you sure you want her at the party? You know those old geezers. Why not dress her up like the wait staff? That way the men will leave her alone, and you can visit at night."

"Great idea but where do we get clothes?"

Abby winked. "Leave it to me. Just let me borrow those shoes."

Spaz snapped up the sandals. She pressed them in Abby's hand and got her out the door.

Spaz sighed. She wandered across the room. She whispered loudly. "Bean." She moved a pile of clothes. She looked behind the chair. No Bean. She walked to the closet. She put her hand on the knob. "
Psst.
Bean!" She dropped the blouse she was carrying and bent to pick it up. She looked in the mirror and saw Bean smiling under the bed.

Abbey knocked twice and opened the bedroom door. "Hey, Kelli, I just wanted to know…are you okay?"

Spaz slammed the closet door open. She stood stiffly in the opening. She tried not to look like a freak with a friend hiding under the bed. She failed most miserably. Abby raised a brow.

"Kelli? What are you not telling me?"

"Me? Ah, uh, why do you ask?"

Abby stood. She walked over to Spaz and looked down. Spaz bit her lip. "What?"

"Spill it, ho bag."

Spaz grabbed her by the blouse. "You swear on your life you will never tell a soul?"

"I already told you I–"

Under the bed, Bean sucked in a breath. Abby froze. "Kelli, did you hear that?"

"Uh, hear what?"

"That noise!" She jumped to her feet. Bean scooted back. His toe caught the bed skirt and Abby screeched. "Under the bed! Something is under the bed."

She turned to the door and Spaz grabbed her. "Wait, Abby. It's only Bean."

The other girl struggled. Spaz swung her around and threw Abby across the bed. Abby sat wide-eyed and scared. "What bean? Lima beans? Green beans? Mexican jumping beans for God's sake? Geez, Kelli, something moved under there."

"Yeah, I know. It's my stupid friend, Bean." Spaz picked up the bed skirt. She bent down. Abby did as well.

 Bean twiddled his fingers at them, a cheesy smile on his face. "Hey, Spaz."

"Bean, you butt head, come out from under there."

Bean slid out. He looked at Abby, who still cowered in a corner. "Uh, hi, Abby. I'm Bean."

"Is Bean your real name?"

Bean turned pink. "Uh, They call me Bean 'cuz–"

Spaz broke in. "Because he was such a bean brain, he and another stupid friend of his were drunk and sitting in a tree. Bean looked down at a skylight in a roof and said, 'Duh, I wonder if someone could break into a house by breaking through the skylight.' Then his friend, Mr. Stupid, said to this dumbass, 'Duh, why don't you find out?' and pushed dumbass here out of the tree. Bean fell onto the roof. The skylight broke, and Bean got arrested for breaking and entering and burglary. He got probation." Spaz smiled. "The judge considered anyone stupid enough to fall out of a tree too stupid to survive in jail."

Bean punched her arm. "That's not true!"

Spaz shoved him aside. "It's true, I swear."

Abby crossed her arms. She raised a brow. "Well, if my boyfriend got drunk and fell through a skylight–"

Spaz and Bean spoke at the same time.

"He ain't my boyfriend, are you nuts?"

"No way, she's not my girlfriend, are you nuts?"

Abby smiled. "You guys are pretty loud. I think maybe too loud."

Spaz opened her mouth and Abby held up her hand. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone he's here."