2041 Sanctuary (Genesis) (5 page)

‘I need to rest,’ she said.

She’d been expecting him to argue, but he mumbled in agreement and they moved away from the river and lay down on the ground in exhausted silence. Sleep came easily, whisking the two friends off into the mystical realm of unthinking thought. The day had been long, but the night had only just begun.

♦

Sarah’s exhaustion led her into the deepest of sleeps, the halls of darkness as unfathomable as the history of Sanctuary itself. Down and down she fell, tumbling into the abyss of nothing. Time vanished, giving way to a heady swirl of lights that drifted through an ocean of loss. A voice whispered to her and Sarah moaned in her sleep.

The Anakim orb, tucked away in a pocket on the leg of her coveralls, throbbed in the dark. Its corrugated surface shifted and turned smooth. A pulse of light shone within, its power glowing through the red cloth that held it prisoner against its will. Sarah whimpered in her sleep, fighting against the demons of her mind’s own making. A roar of sound flashed through her eyes and she woke with a start. Still lying on her side, she looked down to see the orb resting on the ground next to her leg. It continued to glow with an eerie light and Sarah wondered how it came to be where it was. Had Jason removed it from its place of safekeeping? She looked up to see her companion gone. Heart racing, she sat up. ‘Jason?’ she said, turning round to gaze into the darkness. ‘Jason?!’

There was no answer.
Has he gone and left me? Is his desire to find Trish so great he would leave me all alone in the pitch-black?
She picked up the orb, which felt light in her hand. ‘At least I have you to keep me company;’ she muttered, ‘at least I have light.’

The orb’s glow brightened in response; it was if it could hear and understand. Sarah held it aloft to light her way.

‘Jason!’ She took a few more steps and called again. ‘Jason!!’

She listened. There was still no reply.

Attempting to quell the panic within, she tried to think. If he didn’t return she needed to do something.
I could go to the temple and wait for him there
. She touched her chest where the pendant dangled.
And if he never returns I can try and get to the surface using the transportation device
. She wandered through the dark, continuing to call Jason’s name.

What seemed like days came and went, and she slept twice more and each time she woke the orb was waiting for her, its light a blessed oasis in the dark.

Deciding the moment had come; she drank from the river one last time and made her way back to the temple. All the while the Anakim orb remained bright, lighting her passage through dark chambers.

When Sarah finally found her way back to the place where Trish had fallen, she felt a deep sense of despair. Trish and Jason had left, each by their own choosing. Never had she felt so alone, so lost.

Leaving the scene of torment behind, she climbed stone steps and worked her way to the centre of the temple’s ancient complex.

‘I thought I’d find you here,’ a voice said out of the dark.

Sarah’s heart constricted in fear and she held the orb higher to reveal a shadowy figure standing before the transportation device.

‘Jason?’ she said, knowing the voice wasn’t his.

The shadow turned and Sarah felt her world lurch sideways.

‘You were just going to give up and leave me?’ Trish said, walking out of the gloom. ‘And now you’re leaving Jason, too?’

Sarah stumbled back, the vision of her friend warping the reality around her. ‘You died, you’re not real!’

Trish strode forward and grasped Sarah’s face. ‘Not real! You left me to die. You brought me down here to die! And you knew what would happen. You knew, and did nothing!’

Sarah tried to shake her head. ‘I didn’t know … how could I know?!’

Trish’s hands grew hot and her eyes shone bright. ‘You dreamt of fire and smoke. You were tormented by dreams. But it wasn’t your mother who burned, it was me! You could have saved me,’ – wisps of smoke poured out from Trish’s hair – ‘you could have saved us all, but you chose to be selfish, you chose to risk our lives for your own gain.’ Fire ignited to consume Trish’s torso; the tongues of flame licking at Sarah’s horrified face.

‘You caused your mother’s death,’ Trish said, ‘and now you’ve killed me and Jason, too!’

Sarah tried to break free of the inferno that held her, but the fire had taken hold. Pain seared her skin and dark smoke choked her lungs.

‘You’re a selfish bitch, Sarah,’ Trish said, her eyes filling Sarah’s mind, ‘A SELFISH FUCKING BITCH!!’

Sarah let out a squeal of terror and sat up, her head reeling. Darkness surrounded her and she put out a hand and felt Jason lying a foot away.

Relief flooded though her.

She hung her head and wiped a tear from her face before reaching out to touch him again. Reassured he was real and that she was actually awake this time, the reality of her situation returned to crush her like an anvil.
How has it come to this?
She looked back over her life wondering what she’d done wrong to deserve such torment. Events that had seemed major at the time offered up little in the way of explanation.
I’ve never been an evil person. I’ve never intentionally gone out of my way to hurt anyone. So how has this come to pass? Is it just fate? Is it my destiny to suffer?
The memory of her mother’s death reared its ugly head and she knew that’s when it had all started to go wrong.
That was my fault. I deserve everything I get. But how do I make amends?
she asked herself.
Do I need to die? Do I need to sacrifice my life to redress the balance?

Fearing more dark dreams, she decided to stay awake while her questions continued without answer. Jason murmured in his sleep and Sarah wondered if he was having a nightmare too. She pulled her legs up to her chest and remained that way until he woke some time later.

The mood was as dark as their surroundings as they set out once more. Jason, still refusing to accept their loss, kept scanning the river and Sarah walked in silence by his side.
Is there no end to the darkness?
she thought. She removed her helmet and tried turning it on. The visor glowed to life before dying to black a moment later. She switched it to battery saving mode, also to no avail. And so she remained – entrenched in the bleak pit with only the faintest of illuminations escaping from Jason’s visor to light her way.

The sound of white water drifted up from the depths, its urgency growing louder with each passing moment and Jason halted their progress.

‘Another waterfall?’ Sarah said.

‘Yes.’ He sounded weary. ‘There’s no way down.’

‘Perhaps we missed her; perhaps … she survived and is wandering around lost behind us.’ Sarah didn’t believe a word of it, but it was all she could think of to say, and even that was an effort.

‘No,’ he said, ‘the current is too strong and you said her arm was broken, she wouldn’t have been able to swim to shore.’ Jason’s voice broke. ‘I don’t know what to do.’

Sarah found his hand in the dark and squeezed it. ‘I should never have brought us here. Neither of you deserved this. Trish didn’t deserve to die, it should have been me.’

Jason snatched his hand away. ‘She’s still alive.’

‘She said she loved me,’ Sarah said, holding back tears, ‘she was my best friend and I failed her. She died because of me.’

‘She’s not dead.’

Sarah didn’t have the energy to keep up the façade any longer. A sob escaped her lips and tears flowed. ‘It’s all my fault. I killed her. I killed Trish and I’ve killed you, too!’

Jason shook her. ‘She’s not dead, do you hear me?!’

Sarah was crying now, ‘I killed my mother. I deserve to die, I have to die. I want to die!’

‘I said, she’s not dead!!’

Jason pushed her away and Sarah felt the rope that tied them go slack. She reached out her hand but her fingers closed on nothing. ‘Jason,’ she said, ‘Jason?!’

He didn’t reply.

‘Jason!!’ she crumpled to the ground, sobbing, her hands searching in the dark. ‘Jason, I’m sorry, don’t leave me!’

Her stricken voice echoed around the cavernous chamber, but Jason still didn’t respond. He’d left her, and it was what she deserved.

The noise of the gushing waters grew louder, filling her mind. Still crying, Sarah found the edge of the abyss and knew what she had to do. Standing up on wobbly legs, she took a deep breath and stepped out into nothing.

Chapter Five

Sarah toppled forward into the welcoming arms of death – then something yanked her back. Propelled into reverse, she crumpled to the ground in a heap.

Jason pulled her into a sitting position. ‘What the hell are you doing?!’

Sarah shook her head in despair, her sobs renewed.

Jason wrapped her in his arms. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said, stroking the back of her head as she clung to him, ‘I’m so sorry.’

They stayed that way for some time. Jason offering soothing words while Sarah cried herself out.

‘Do you know why I follow you?’ Jason said, breaking the silence.

Sarah wiped her eyes. ‘What?’

‘Do you know why you lead and I follow?’

Sarah shook her head.

‘Because you have passion, a goal – a goal better than any I can find myself.’

Sarah sniffed. ‘My goals get people killed.’

‘And yet without them my life has less meaning, without you it has less meaning. Some things are worth dying for, Sarah, and purpose is one of them. You know what you want and go for it. It’s what I admire most about you.’

‘I thought that was my bum.’

Jason managed a laugh. ‘That, too, but don’t let Trish hear me say that.’

Sarah’s mirth died at the mention of her friend.

‘One thing is for certain,’ Jason said, ‘you don’t deserve to die.’

Sarah felt tears well again. ‘You would say that; you’re a nice person, a strong person.’

‘Am I? Do you know how I used to think when I was young? I wasn’t strong; I grew up a coward, my thoughts twisted by the fear of physical threats. I started having evil thoughts about the bullies that surrounded me and those thoughts took root and spread and caused me to wish bad things on others, others I loved. I became a pathetic shell. But you know what? I saw what I’d become and knew that wasn’t me. I decided I wasn’t going to live like that, I wasn’t going to let that be who I was. I’d rather have died.’

He paused for breath before continuing. ‘I know how you feel when things get too much. You think you might as well give in, end it all, but that’s not what life is about. If you give in to death, the dark, you’re only giving in to those people who put that darkness in you, to those bullies and bastards who don’t deserve to take your light –
our
light. You didn’t kill your mother, the people who set the fire did, the people who stole your maps. They’re probably enjoying life right now. Is that fair? Hell no! What are you going to do about it? Look at yourself, Sarah, and know this is not you. Do you hear me? This is not you.’

Sarah nodded.

‘You don’t deserve to die,’ he said again, ‘and Trish needs us, needs both of us, needs you. Do you know what I said to myself when I realised what I’d become, when I reached my lowest ebb, when I thought about ending it all?’

‘No,’ Sarah said.

‘I said, “I’m not living my life like this, other people do not make me who I am, I make me who I am, ME!”’ He held her hand and placed it against her heart. ‘You! You decide who you are and if you don’t like what you are, you damn well fight back. Never give in, as at the end of the day, when there’s nothing else left, that’s all we have, that’s who we are.’

Sarah stayed silent, thinking about his words and the power they promised.

‘And do you know what else?’ he said after a while. ‘I’m not giving up on you, even if you have. The same as I’m not giving up on Trish. Now get up,’ – he hauled her to her feet – ‘and let’s keep moving. I think I can see a way down.’

♦

Some hours later, they’d made it down to the base of the falls using a honeycomb of sloping tunnels that criss-crossed the wall of the chamber through which they travelled. After they’d taken on some more water, the two friends carried on a while longer before stopping to rest. Sarah slumped down and then lay back on the hard ground, not speaking, just listening to the distant roar of the waterfall.

Thankfully Jason’s visor had remained working, which not only enabled them to stay alive for a little longer, but also let him continue his search for Trish.

Now that they’d stopped he turned the power off to prolong the life of his helmet’s depleted battery pack. With all light extinguished the darkness was truly complete. Newer to this sensory deprivation than Sarah, Jason came up with a novel suggestion to combat it – although considering her recent nightmare, Sarah knew she should have thought of the idea herself. There were two problems, however.

‘What do you mean?’ Jason said, turning his visor back on again. ‘You can’t or you won’t?’

‘Won’t.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because of all of this.’ Sarah gestured around her. ‘Everything that’s happened is because of me and because of this.’ She held out her pendant. ‘I won’t use it again … ever.’

‘What happened isn’t that thing’s fault, it isn’t your fault either, it’s no one’s fault.’

‘It made Trish … fall.’

‘That was the rope, or that light chasing us, it wasn’t the pendant.’

‘Wasn’t it? As soon as we activated the bridge that light appeared. It must be attracted to Anakim technology, like we thought.’

‘If you won’t use it, how are we going to get to the surface?’

‘You can use it.’ She unclipped the metal artefact from her neck chain and held out in his direction. ‘In fact,’ she said, ‘you can have it, it’s yours. I wish I’d never found it.’

‘What?’ Jason sounded shocked. ‘You’re serious?’

Sarah remained silent in her conviction and he didn’t pursue the matter further, perhaps due to her determined expression.

‘Shall we try it, then?’ he said, taking possession of the pendant. ‘If my helmet goes completely we’ll need it.’