150 Movies You Should See Before You Die (49 page)

Trivia Quiz

In what film does Patty Shepard appear as an immortal witch?

A:
Black Sunday
(1977)

B:
The Witches of Eastwick
(1987)

C:
Burn, Witch, Burn!
(1962)

D:
The Werewolf vs. the Vampire Woman
(1971)

Answer: D.
The Werewolf vs. the Vampire Woman
, in which she plays Countess Wandesa Dárvula de Nadasdy.

In recent years, comic book adaptations have been big at the box office. Once again, comics are cool, and it's okay for adults to read them. The last time that marketing hook was cast out was in the late 1980s and early 1990s. Well, here are a few comic book movies that may well shock and appall the average fan of Wolverine's cinematic exploits. (For what it's worth, I love comics … and I think the first
Iron Man
movie will be remembered as one of the very best films of the past decade.)

PRODUCERS
Dino DeLaurentiis and Bruno Toden

WRITERS
Mario Bava, Dino Maiuri, Brian Degas, and Tudor Gates (script), Angela Giussani and Luciana Giussani (story and original characters)

DIRECTOR
Mario Bava

STARS
John Phillip Law (
Diabolik
), Marisa Mell (
Eva Kant
), Michel Piccoli (
Inspector Ginko
), and Aldolfo Celi (
Ralph Valmont
)

The long-standing rivalry between the mysterious super-thief Diabolik (Law) and police inspector Ginko (Piccoli) becomes personal when Ginko forces a top gangster (Celi) to take action against his foe and the love of Diabolik's life, Eva (Mell), is caught in the middle.

Why It Sucks

Although a mostly faithful adaptation of the Italian comic book it is based on, the film fails to capture the relationship between Ginko and Diabolik. And, like so many comic book adaptations, it inadvertently reveals how ridiculous the characters are. Diabolik's mask works fine when it's a drawing. Put it in a live action film, and it's pretty painful.

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Special Achievement in the Area of Not Knowing When to Quit
Award goes to …
Mario Bava. He insists on tacking on one final heist for Diabolik, one that deflates the ending of the movie.

And the Worst Production Design goes to …
Mario Bava. As excellent as the production designs and cinematography on the film are, Bava on more than one occasion shows off his artistry to the point where it detracts from the film and makes some scenes downright boring.

They Really Said It!

Diabolik
: If you didn't see him, he was there.

Betcha Didn't Know

Mario Bava had access to a budget of $3 million for this movie, but he was so in the habit of working on tiny productions that he made it for around $400,000.

The film is an adaptation of one of the longest and most popular Italian comic books. It was created by sisters Angela Giussani and Luciana Giussani.

Trivia Quiz

What was the profession of John Phillip Law's father, John Law?

A: Attorney in Washington State

B: Sheriff's deputy in Los Angeles County

C: Second-in-command to a New Jersey Mafia boss

D: Criminal investigator for the United States Navy

Answer: B. John Law was the sheriff's deputy in Los Angeles County.

PRODUCERS
Bill Carraro (executive producer), Arnon Milchan and Gavin Polone (producers)

WRITER
Don Payne

DIRECTOR
Ivan Reitman

STARS
Luke Wilson (
Matt Saunders
), Uma Thurman (
Jenny Johnson/
G-Girl
), Eddie Izzard (
Barry/Professor Bedlam
), Rainn Wilson (
Vaughn
Haige
), and Anna Faris (
Hannah Lewis
)

When Matt (Wilson) dumps his superhero girlfriend, G-Girl (Thurman) because she's too jealous, she starts destroying his life and career out of revenge. When her archnemesis and spurned high-school boyfriend, Professor Bedlam (Izzard), approaches him with a scheme to eliminate G-Girl's superpowers, things only get worse.

Why It Sucks

Part superhero spoof, part romantic comedy, this must have seemed like a really good idea to someone. Unfortunately, it's not a particularly funny spoof, and the romance lacks heart and conviction. The characters are shallow and stereotypical and give about as much effort to their parts as the writers gave to the script. You can imagine everyone sighing with relief at the wrap as they collect their paychecks and walk away from this turkey.

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Worst Script Award goes to …
Don Payne. Of all the characters, only Professor Bedlam has the tinest bit of texture to him.

And the Worst Actress Award goes to …
Anna Faris for giving a performance even less interesting and engaging than her character's role in the story.

They Really Said It!

Professor Bedlam
: Kill? I didn't say “kill.” I said “neutralize.” It's a neutral word, like Switzerland.

Betcha Didn't Know

Although best known for comedies, Ivan Reitman started his career by producing horror films (like David Cronenberg's
Shivers
) and sleazy exploitation films (like
Ilsa: The Tigress of
Siberia
).

Ivan Reitman was the first Canadian convicted under Canada's indecency laws in 1971 for producing an adult comedy titled
The Columbus of Sex
.

Trivia Quiz

Which of the following Ivan Reitman — directed films did not feature Arnold Schwarzenegger?

A:
Junior
(1994)

B:
Father's Day
(1997)

C:
Twins
(1988)

D:
Kindergarten Cop
(1990)