1.5 True of Blood: Kallen's Tale (15 page)

Rising to my feet, I take a moment before responding.  I do not know how she is going to take the news that
I
will be in this realm always.  Glancing at the unconscious forms of
Maurelle
and
Olwyn
, I
make sure they are still breathing
,
as I
simply say, “
No.”

“Stop it!
” she shouts, bringing my eyes back to her.
 
“
Stop talking in riddles and just tell me what you’re talking about for once
,
for god’s sake.”

She is right. 
I have no choice, I have to tell her. 
“I cannot go back to my realm unless you create a way ba
ck.”  Pointing at the other two, I say
, “Neither can
they
.”

Her
mouth drops open.  “You can’t go back?”

“No.”

“Then why did you come if you knew you had to either stay here or die with me?”

Not wanting her to see the betrayal I feel
over the situation
, I turn away from her.
 
“Because someone very important to me asked me to do it.”
 

“Who would ask you to do something so awful?”

Yes, who would ask someone they love to do something so awful? 
Turning back around, I say,
“My grandmother asked me to make a sacrifice for the greater good and I agreed.”

She shakes her head. 
“You’re an idiot.”

I wholeheartedly agree
.  “You do keep pointing that out.”

“So
,
as long as they are alive, they will keep trying to force me to open the gateway
;
otherwise
, they will be stuck here. 
Are you going to kill them?”

I really want to kill them.  But, I shake my head.  I was not raised to be that type of Fairy. 
“No, that is not the Sheehogue way.”

“I don’t trust you anymore.”
 

Those words cut deep as the truth in them shines out of her eyes like a beacon in a fog.  “I have never lied to you,” I say lamely.

“No, you haven’t
;
but that doesn’t mean that I won’t constantly be on the alert for you to decide that it is better for me to die than keep fighting.”

I will never let her
give up
.  “I want you to keep fighting.”

“But wanting that doesn’t change the fact that you feel that you get to decide if I live or die.” 

She turns and starts walking away.  She looks so hurt, so betrayed.  I cannot believe I am responsible for that.  If I could, I would go back and do everything differently. 

Chapter 1
6

“Xandra, where are you going?”
I ask, following her
.

“Go away, Kallen.  I’m going home.”

“Home?”
 
She cannot be serious.  I know she is upset, but that is not a wise decision. 
“You cannot go home.” 

“Watch me,”
she says.  She sounds confident, but she looks like she does not know which way to go
.

“But that is not safe.”

She shrugs her shoulders
.  “I don’t know
,
I seemed to be able to defend myself against
Maurelle
and
Olwyn
just fine.”

With wild magic.
 
“Protect yourself
.  W
hat about your family?”

“I’ll protect them, too.” 

How can I make her understand? 
“And what will you do if
Maurelle
or
Olwyn
gets their hands on your small brother?”

“The term is little brother
,
and I’ll do what I just did.”

She definitely cannot mean that. 
“You will send your magic burning through your brother?”

“No, of course not.
  Will you please stop following me?”

Ah, she does not understand how it will work. 
Or at least,
how
it could work if she does not have control over her magic.
 
“Do you not understand that if you send your magic searing through
Maurelle
or
Olwyn
,
whoever they are touching at the t
ime will also feel its effects?
  It is also a huge physical drain to use so much magic at once.  You will become weak and then indefensible.” 
It is a theory, not a lie.  Though, she does not look the least bit tired right now after
using
her wild magic. 

“I’ll figure something out. 
Something that doesn’t involve you.”

Damn it, now she is just being stubborn. 
“Xandra, please.
  Let me help you figure this out.”

“No thanks.  If I decide to off myself to protect the lowly Cowan and Witches, I’d rather do it without giving you the satisfaction of seeing it happen.”

She is not the only one mad, now. 
“I would derive no satisfaction from you ‘offing’ yourself if that term means what I believe it means.”  Catching up to
her, I grab her arm. 
“Will you please listen to me?”

She shakes my hand off. 
“No.” 

I am so frustrated, I want to throttle her.  Being mad at me does not justify doing something so blatantly stupid.  My hands actually reach out to her, intent on shaking her, but instead, I put them on her cheeks.  She tries to pull away, but I hold her place with a kiss.  God, I love her lips.  They are so soft and warm.  Until she pushes me away and the horror of what just happens hits me.  What the hell is
wrong
with me? 
Why do I keep doing this? 
I deserve the angry tirade she has started upon.

“What, you thought you’d kiss me
,
and then I’d go weak at the knees and do whatever you want?  Maybe that works for you in Fairy land
,
but you’re not nearly a good enough kisser to make it happen here.” 

Those words st
i
ng more than I would like to admit.  But, I keep that to myself as she turns and walks away from me.  I follow again, but I keep my distance from her.

T
he longer we walk,
the more
I can tell
she
has no idea if she is
going in the right direction.  She is also coming down from her adrenaline high, obvious by the slowing of her steps.  A fallen tree is just ahead and Xandra stops to rest, sitting down on it. 

I sit down next to her.  I keep my eyes straight ahead, as I say,
“I find myself again in a situation where I have to apologize to you for kissing you at inappropriate times
.
”

She
snort
s
.  “Like there’s an appropriate time.”

I ignore her.  She certainly did not seem to mind my kisses last night. 
“You seem to drive me to distraction
,
and it’s the one thing that pops in my mind to do to end our continual bickering.” 
Did those words really come out of my mouth? 

“So, in other words, you kiss me to shut me up.  Wow, I have no idea why I’m not swooning at your feet.”

Maybe a change of subject is needed. 
“Do Cowan women still swoon?” 

She gives me a dirty look and shakes her head
.  “You are too much.”

I am assuming this is a colloquialism I am not familiar with. 
“Too much of what?”
 
Well,
that left me wide open
for insults. 
“Never mind, I am sure that I will not like the answer you give.”

“Nope, you probably wouldn’t.  What’s it going to take to get you to go away?”

Leave her out here in the mountains alone with
Maurelle
and
Olwyn
chasing her
, and no food, supplies or protection from the cold?
  Not a chance. 
“Nothing.”

Her face lights up a little. 
“You mean you’re just going to go away? 
Right now?”
 

Ouch.  That hurt almost as much as her
kiss comment
.
 
“No, I meant that there is nothing that will make me go away.  I swore to protect you and I must do that.”

“Yeah, well, we seem to have different opinions on what protecting me entails because in my book, I don’t end up dead at the end.  Tell you what; I’ll let you out of the deal.  You’re free.  Shoo.  Go on your way.  Fly like a bird.”

I cannot help but smile at that
.  “Would it make you more comfortable if I followed you in my raven form?”

“What about anything I just said made you think that I would be comfortable with you following me in any form?  I want you to go away.  I released you from your promise to protect me
,
so there’s nothing holding you to me
anymore
.”

“You cannot release me from a blood oath performed by another Witch.  Your mother performed the spell, not you.”

She rolls her eyes
.  “Okay, fine.  When I get home I’ll have Mom release you.  But you can still go ahead and leave now.  I promise not to get killed by anyone else on my way home.  What would be the odds of more than three people wanting me dead all at one time?”

Considering the entire Pooka race would like her dead, the odds are pretty good. 
She must be reading something on my face. 
“Now what aren’t you telling me?”
she
demand
s
.

I need to be better about keeping my face blank around her.  She picks up on every little nuance. 
“Nothing
.
”
That did not sound convincing
even
to my own ears
.

Throwing her hands up in the air, she stands. 
“You say you want to stay by my side and protect me
,
yet you still want to keep your little secrets.  You know what you should do?  You should find a job
,
because I have no intention of opening the gateway to your realm
.  S
o
,
you’re going to have to support yourself here
,
somehow.  Maybe you could be a bartender or something.  With your looks, I’m sure you’d be rolling in the tips.  I understand there are lots of bars in Denver.  Why don’t you go see?”
  She walks away from me.

Time for complete honesty.
  I cannot hold back the truth, even if it hurts her more.  She needs to know everything she is up against. 
“The only way for you to open the gateway is if you are sacrificed by your father.  Your dying blood will open the realm forever.”

She stops and she hangs her head.  She looks so
defeated,
I want to pull her into my arms.  I do not believe that would be the right thing to do right now
, though
.

She sighs. 
“
Which is why you’d rather kill me yourself
,
because if I’m going to die anyway
,
it might as well not happen while opening up the Fairy realm.
”

“That was the reasoning I came here with, yes.  But
,
I no longer feel that way.”

She does not believe me. 
“Ooh, you just up and changed your mind.  What a coincidence that it happened right after I found out about your plan.” 
She
start
s
walking again. 

“That is not when I changed my mind.”

“Please don’t tell me it was after the first time we kissed.  This isn’t a Fairy tale.  Oh, wait, I guess it is.  Still, I don’t see us moving on to a happily ever after.  That whole death threat hanging over my head kind of puts a damper on any romantic notions I might have been able to muster for you, Kallen.”

My ego is taking some serious blows from her. 
Yet again, I need a new strategy
to make her see reason
.  Perhaps confusing her into listening to me
will work
. 
“Xandra.”

“What.”

“Do you have any idea where you are going?”

“Yes, I do,”
she
snap
s, but I can hear the lie in her voice
.

I
chuckle.  “Then are you planning to trek around the world to get to your house? 
Because it is in the opposite direction.”

She stops and turns in a circle, trying to get her bearings straight
. 
This is not very nice, since she was going in the right direction, but I am desperate. 
“So, it’s that way?”
she
ask
s,
pointing in the direction we just came from.

I grin. 
“I would be happy to show you the way.”

She narrows her eyes at me. 
“Why can’t you just tell me?”

“Because then I would have no leverage to use to convince you to let me come with you.”

She growls in frustration, making me want to laugh.
 
Wisely, I do not. 
“Why are you always such a jerk?”
she asks.

“You know, there are some who find me charming and witty.”
  Many Fairies do.  I am sure of it.
  Maybe not as sure as I was when I first came, but I am still mostly sure.

“Good for you, I’m not one of them.” 
She starts
walking back the way we came.
 
In the direction of
Maurelle
and
Olwyn
.

“I was just kidding, you were going the right way,”
I admit with a laugh.

The laugh may have pushed
her
too far. 
Xandra
stomps over to me and shoves me with both hands.  I was not expecting that.  Nor was I expecting the tree stump behind me that trips me.  I end up sprawled in the snow, flat on my back.

“I am so tired of you laughing at me!  I am exhausted
,
and
cold
,
and I want to go home
.  S
o stop being a jerk and just tell me which way to go!”

Yes, laughing was
definitely
too much.  I can see her point, but I am not letting her go home until she has better control over her magic.  Putting on my best chagrined face, I say,
“Help me up and I
wi
ll tell you.”

Reluctantly, she holds her hand out to me. 
So naïve.
  Of course I am going to pull her into the snow with me.  I roll over on top of her and prepare myself for her wrath.  But, she does not even struggle.  I do not know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. 

Supporting myself on my arms, I say,
“I changed my mind before we even started on this journey
.
  I knew that if you were willing to leave your family
,
and go off with a stranger
,
because you thought that it was the only way to keep your world safe
,
that you would never willingly open the gate.  That was the only reason I had ever intended to kill you
,
if I had to.  Only if you tried to open the gate of your own free will.  You are correct.  Your magic is strong enough to easily fight off
Maurelle
and
Olwyn
,
but they are determined.  They would rather die than stay in this world.  Unlike me, they have every intention of finding a way back home
,
and they will use anything and everything they can think of to force you into opening the gate.  Xandra, that includes your family.  They will exorcise your parents as I said before
,
if that is what it takes.  They will kill your aunt and your little brother in front of you
,
if that is what it takes.  The Pooka are not peaceful
,
nor do they have the ability to be reasoned with when they have their mind set on something
.  A
nd the king chose these two runners specifically because of their cold-
heartedness.  Please, let me help you keep any of that from happening.  You have my word; there is no situation that could make me decide your death is the only answer.”