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Authors: Nate Truman
15 Things Highly Happy Wives and Girlfriends Understand About Men That You Don’t
BONUS MATERIAL
Get your bonus content on the 4 ugly truths he wants you to know but would NEVER tell you at:
Also by Nate Truman
Make Him Commit and Think It’s His Idea
Copyright 2013 Nate Truman
WHY YOU NEED TO READ THIS BOOK
The truths you’re going to learn in this book are how men
really
think and feel. Once you at least understand how your man thinks and feels, then you can start to understand how he acts… And start spending less time trying to change him. That’s stressful and annoying for both of you, and it doesn’t do any good.
The hard part is putting these things into practice, but if you will, get ready for your relationship to improve 100%.
Here’s a small sample of some of the things you’ll learn in this book:
Why you’re setting yourself up for failure when you think about “what you want in a man”- and the correct way to frame that topic…
The thing that drives men crazy that you do when you’re having “one-on-one” time that makes him not want to agree to spend time with you the next time…
What happens in a man’s mind when you call names and act like a baby during a fight, even though he doesn’t say anything…
The one thing a man wishes you would acknowledge once in awhile, which would result in him giving you a lot more attention…
The double standards that you try to hold your man to that you don’t realize you’re doing…
The relationship-destroying financial issues that make men furious that women don’t seem to understand (until you read this of course)…
What every woman knows she shouldn’t do, but does, but doesn’t think she does…
The real reason he never wants to help out around the house, and how to approach the topic so that he turns into your personal maid…
The golden word to use when you’re teaching your man how to do something right, and the one word that will instantly make him shut you out…
The RIGHT way to give and receive criticism…
Another big thing you know you’re not supposed to do… but you do.
The sooner you realize that you’re not the official “_________ Coach”, the sooner you man will like going places with you a lot better…
The one-week experiment that will
drastically
reduce the number of fights you and your man get into…
There is one chapter in particular you should read every time you feel like you have some “advice” or “tips” for your man…
Another one-week experiment that will probably prevent ANY fights…
The thing your man needs daily like you need attention…
What “pre-relationship” elements should stay in place, and which ones should change…
How you act like his “second mother”, and why you should stop ASAP…
How you might be making your man act shady and defensive, even if he’s not actually hiding anything…
And much more…
Table of Contents
You Complain More Than You Think
It’s Normal if He Doesn’t Like Next Top Model
Confidence & Promoting Privacy
Putting Him First Pays Dividends
Nope… We’re Still Not Mind Readers
Men DO Listen, When You Do It Right
First of all, I would ask you to read this entire book with an open mind, and consider the fact that just because you haven’t thought of some of this stuff before doesn’t mean it’s not true.
In the following pages, I’m going to tell you how us guys really feel… if you’re smart you’ll at least admit to yourself that you don’t know everything and that maybe I’m telling the truth.
…and, if you go one step further and actually put some of this stuff into practice, get ready for a big improvement in your relationship. (you’re welcome in advance)
There is a common misconception when it comes to relationships and happiness, and it usually starts with the woman. Whether movies, music, the media, conversations with friends or simple pop culture are to blame, women believe that the only important component to being in a successful relationship is that they are the only one who is happy.
It is often overlooked how the man feels about the happenings within that relationship, as long as the woman is getting her way.
A lot of women will balk at that statement, insisting it is not true, that they want to make their many happy all of the time too. That would be a great argument, if it were actually true.
If your man IS happy all of the time, and you are miserable in your relationship, would you consider it a success? Of course you wouldn't.
However, if you were happy as a lark, and enjoyed each and every day of your relationship, because you get everything you want, would that be a successful relationship? Most women would say yes to that scenario.
The problem is there is absolutely no mention of how the man feels in that description, so how could a woman answer it matter of factly?
The problem is,
without thinking about it, they typically do not care. Women take on a very selfish, “my happiness is the only thing that matters”-approach when they are in relationships. They do not like to admit it, but it is true, and here is why.
Women spend their single days discussing everything they want from a man, and a relationship. They express their needs, wants, desires and expectations, but never once do you hear them say, "I want a man who wants a confident woman like me."
Women NEVER consider what the man might want from the relationship because they are too busy making demands about how tall he has to be, or what kind of car he drives, or whether or not he will take care of them.
They should be saying, "I want a man who wants to be pleased, and treated like a man, not a mouse. I want a man who loves his woman to work hard and play hard. I want a man who knows that I will support him physically and emotionally, and will love me for it."
Women do not say that because they do not care what the man wants. They only care about their personal happiness.
The problem is, it simply does not work that way. The idea of being in a relationship means that there are two of you. Both opinions, stances and moral compasses come into play, and should be respected at all times.
This means that just because you want to go out with your girlfriends does not mean that your partner has to pick the same night to go out with his.
He, too, is free to make decisions, and balance the rest of his life within the relationship, just like you do. He does not have to wait for your approval, or your cue, to decide when he can and cannot make plans or enlist his own social calendar.
Being in a relationship does not mean that the woman becomes the boss of the whole. It means that the responsibilities to live happily fulfilled lives befall both of you.
This becomes an issue simply because the nature of the relationship becomes imbalanced. While women are ticking off the items on their mental "he should be doing this" checklist, men are simply looking for a great girl who does not complain about what he is wearing, where he is going, or with whom.
He does not have the same mental checklist.
He simply wants to be happy, and in order to do so he does not need for you to love to hang out with his friends, or enjoy everything he does.
He simply wants you to love him, and all him to go to baseball games without complaining that he just went to one last week. What if he said the same thing about you going to the gym? Or to your mother's house? "Didn't you just do that last week?" It is the same thing, but women label is differently, so as to tip the scales in their favor.
The good news is that men are very simple creatures. The do not require the amount of emotional support that women do, so it is easier to make them happy.
All they want is a woman who respects them, loves them and admires their existence. This type of support and loves comes in your tone, expression and communication aptitude. It also means that it is absolutely unacceptable to call your boyfriend or husband an idiot, moron or any other name that may come to mind when you disagree with him.
Name calling, belittlement and character assassination is absolutely unacceptable in a loving relationship. Verbally abusing someone to make a point is obnoxious and undermining, and distasteful. Mostly, it is not fair.
Imagine for one moment what you -- or any woman -- would say to the man they love if he said, "You're an idiot!" At the very least, you would storm out, cause a scene, and reiterate over and over how you will not be called names, and deserve his respect.
When the shoe is on the other foot, it is quite different. Simply because men will allow you to call them a name, without leaving or crying, does not mean they enjoy it or they certainly do not deserve it.
No one should suffer verbal abuse at another's whim, no matter how long or how short their relationship has been in place. It is hurtful and harmful behavior that two adults should know better than to enact upon one another, and it literally does not solve anything.
Next, to love and admire a man is to find yourself in a happy, nurturing relationship. Think for a moment how much you enjoy your man telling you how nice you look, or how beautiful you are.
Don't you think he would like to hear the same thing? Telling your man you love him, or love something that he does, is something all men love to hear.
They like to be told they are handsome, or the fact that you notice their haircut, new shirt or shaved face.
Men love attention, just like women do, so do not be afraid to shower him with praise from time to time. Women love for their men to dote on them, touch their hair or brush their arm when they are in public, so why not show your man the same admiration?
No one is asking you to make out at the dinner table like the plane is going down, but there is nothing wrong with asking for his hand from across the table after you order. There is also nothing wrong with letting him talk, or just enjoying his presence without interrupting or monopolizing the conversation.