1,001 Facts That Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader (91 page)

Boston Medical and Surgical Journal (Massachusetts Medical Society, 1892).

684

FACT :
Another folk remedy recommends
rubbing earwax on cold sores
or severely cracked lips to heal them.
Your own earwax, not someone else’s. That would be disgusting.

Elisabeth Janos, Country Folk Medicine: Tales of Skunk Oil, Sassafras Tea and Other Old-Time Remedies (Globe Pequot, 2004).

685

FACT :
Spiders were once thought to be an effective cure for malaria and were
eaten alive in a pat of butter
or in a spoonful of syrup. In India, spider webs were considered more effective, and were rolled into pellets and ingested orally.
As opposed to being ingested in some other way, which I prefer not to think about.

Charles M. Poser and G. W. Bruyn, An Illustrated History of Malaria (Informa Health Care, 1999).

686

FACT :
Dr. Cecil B. Jacobson, a fertility specialist in the Washington D.C. area, was sentenced in 1992 to five years in prison for
using his own sperm to inseminate female patients
rather than that of anonymous donors. He made some patients believe they had become fertile under his care but had suffered miscarriages when, in fact, they had never been pregnant.
He must pack ‘em in on visiting day at the prison.

“Fertility Doctor Gets Five Years,” New York Times, May 9, 1992.

687

FACT :
In 2002, orthopedist David Arndt left the operating room seven hours into surgery so that
he could cash his paycheck before the bank closed
. Arndt was gone for thirty-five minutes while the hospital paged him repeatedly. His medical license was later suspended in Massachusetts.
Two words for you, Arndt: “direct” and “deposit.”

Neil Swidey, “What Went Wrong?,” Boston Globe, March 21, 2004,
www.boston.com
.

688

FACT :
Manhattan obstetrician Dr. Allan Zarkin made headlines in 2000 by
carving his initials with a scalpel into a patient’s stomach
after delivering her baby by Caesarean section. Said Zarkin at the time, “I did such a beautiful job, I’ll initial it.” Zarkin was charged with assault and sued for malpractice by the patient.
Wow, a doctor did something obscenely arrogant. I’ll alert the press.

Jennifer Steinhauer, “Patient Settles Case Of Initials Cut in Skin,” New York Times, February 12, 2000.

Barbara Ross and Dave Goldiner, “Doctor Carved His Initials on New Mom,” New York Daily News, January 21, 2000.

689

FACT :
An episiotomy is a surgical incision made below the vagina to assist childbirth. This common procedure is believed to lessen trauma to vaginal tissue, but
it also carries a risk of numerous complications
, including tearing of the rectum, bleeding, infection, extreme pain, and more. Some studies show that episiotomies cause more postpartum pain than not performing the procedure.
Imagine that.

Melissa Conrad Stöppler and William C. Shiel, Jr., “Episiotomy,”
Medicinenet.com
, December 9, 2008,
www.medicinenet.com
.

690

FACT :
Though relatively common, Caesarean sections (C-sections) are major surgeries that deliver a baby through a mother’s abdomen. A horizontal incision is made through the skin to the uterus. Though almost a third of American births are done by C-section,
it poses risk to the health of the mother
, including infection, injury to other organs, hemorrhage, complications from anesthesia, and a mortality rate for the mother that is twice to four times that of vaginal birth.
Other than that, it’s a relatively simple and safe procedure.

“Delivery Settings and Caesarean Section Rates in China,” World Health Organization Bulletin,
www.who.int
.

Rita Rubin, “Answers Prove Elusive as C-Section Rate Rises,” USA Today, January 8, 2008,
www.usatoday.com
.