Zlata's Diary (9 page)

Dobrinja has been liberated. They received UN packages there too.

We're waiting to hear what the Security Council has decided about military intervention in B-H.

The water and electricity went off the day before yesterday, July 12, and still aren't back.

Ciao!
Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

We named the kitten Cici. Nedo gave it a bath, we feed it milk and biscuits, even rice. She has to get used to wartime food like the rest of us! She's cute. She has a beautiful head. We've all fallen in love with her and she is slowly getting used to us. Bojana and I hold her in our lap, stroke her and she purrs. That means she likes it, she's happy. She must be lucky. Who knows whether she'd still be alive. She could have been hit by shrapnel, or died of hunger or been attacked by a stray dog. Nedo really did a good deed there. So, now we have a new member in this family we call THE NEIGHBORHOOD. Ciao!

Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

I forgot to tell you that a few days ago two girls moved into the apartment next door. They're called Emina and Samra. They're super. Emina is like Mommy, they like the same colors, they like clothes and both, I have to say, are panicky. Samra is a refugee from Grbavica and she left everything behind. She's taking it all pretty well. Her mother died a few years ago, maybe that's why she's strong and can put up with all this more easily. Emina's sister is married to Samra's brother. Their names are Alma and Kemo. They have an eight-year-old boy named Haris and a two-and-a-half-year-old little girl named Nejra. Samra and Emina talk about Nejra all the time, how cute and talkative she is. I'd really like to meet her.

Ciao!
Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

Since I'm in the house all the time, I watch the world through the window. Just a piece of the world.

There are lots of beautiful pedigree dogs roaming the streets. Their owners probably had to let them go because they couldn't feed them anymore. Sad. Yesterday I watched a cocker spaniel cross the bridge, not knowing which way to go. He was lost. He wanted to go forward, but then he stopped, turned around and looked back. He was probably looking for his master. Who knows whether his master is still alive? Even animals suffer here. Even they aren't spared by the war.

Ciao!
Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

Braco Lajtner was here yesterday. He brought us letters from Keka, Martina and Matea. They're really unhappy at being separated from Braco, and we all cried when we read the letters. Even Daddy. Wartime life is hard, but so is refugee life.

Martina and Matea have made some new friends, and Martina went to the Guns ‘n' Roses concert in Budapest.

So far I've read the following books:
Mommy I Love You, Little Toto, Ringo Starr, The Twilight of the Geniuses, Hajduk in Belgrade, Follow Me, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole. Nice!

Braco, Mommy's brother, has left the hospital and is staying with Grandma and Granddad. He feels much better, both physically and mentally.

The neighborhood community center is organizing a summer school. I've signed up for English, computer studies and music, but Bojana is just taking computer studies.

Mommy saw Mislo, Mirna's daddy today. He says they're all right, that Mirna is spending her time the same as me. If only we could see each other.

The Security Council is hopeless. It makes no reasonable decisions at all.

Your Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

Mommy came home from work in tears today. She had very, very sad news. Mladjo (Srdjan's brother) was killed in front of his house yesterday. The funeral was today, she read it in the papers, but it was too late. Awful. What's happening here is unbelievable. People are getting killed, disappearing, being buried, and their closest friends can't even attend the funeral. Only Seka (Bokica's sister) was there. Srdjan and his parents are in Dubrovnik, and Mladjo's wife and three children, Maja, Bojana and Nebojša, are in Montenegro. They don't even know that he's dead. And who knows when they'll hear the sad news, because Sarajevo is cut off from the rest of the world. The phones aren't working. God, what is happening?

Bojana, Maja and Nebojša have lost their daddy. A disgusting war has taken their daddy from them. Sad, awfully sad. Mladjo was a wonderful man. Love,

Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

Five months. Five months of brutal aggression against the independent, sovereign state of Bosnia and Herzegovina.

A bullet entered the Bobars' sitting room. It shattered the window, broke the TV antenna and part of the glass table, went through the armchair, broke the glass on the door, and finally FELL! The Bobars have had three other bullets. One tore through the plastic and lodged sideways in the wardrobe where it grazed Auntie Boda's university degree and, finally, FELL! Another one broke through a window and lodged in the wall. And the third ripped through the plastic, grazed the armchair, entered Auntie Boda's closet where it tore her vest and then again—FELL!

Dear Mimmy,

Another sad piece of news in the paper. Mommy found out that her uncle (Uncle Halim) has died. He was old but this war speeded up his death. I'm so sorry. He was a wonderful old man. I loved him. That's how it is in wartime, Mimmy. Your loved ones die and you don't even know about it. War doesn't let you stay in touch with people, except for your neighbors. The neighborhood is our life now. Everything happens within that circle, it's the circle you know, everything else is remote.

Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

It thundered here today. I don't know how many shells fell nearby. It was quiet when Daddy went with Samra to get the aid package. But then the shelling suddenly started. An explosion. It thundered. Emina was at our place. There was a terrible boom. Glass shattered, bricks fell, there were clouds of dust. We didn't know where to run. We were convinced that the shell had fallen on our roof. We were on our way to the cellar when we heard Nedo frantically calling out to us, running toward us through the dust, bricks and broken glass. We ran over to the Bobars' cellar. They were all down there. We were shaking. Mommy most of all. In tears, she asked about Daddy, whether he had come back. When we calmed down a bit they told us that a shell had fallen on the roof of Emina's house, above her apartment. We were lucky, because that's only about ten meters away from the roof over our apartment. Everything turned out OK. Daddy and Samra soon came running in. They had been worried about us too. When we got back to the apartment it was full of dust, pieces of brick, and we found a piece of shrapnel in the bathroom. We rolled up our sleeves and started cleaning the place up. I was scared it would start again. Luckily, it didn't. Another horrible day.

Your Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

Mommy's Braco is fine. He's already walking well. Today he went to Otes. He'll be working in the press center there, reporting on the situation. Things are all right there. They have no shooting and they have food. They're lucky. I really miss my cousins Mikica and Dačo. I haven't seen them since the war broke out.

Your Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

Shelling, killing, darkness and hunger continue in Sarajevo. Sad!

I still don't go out. I play with Bojana and with my kitty Cici. Cici has brightened up this misery of a life. How you can come to love an animal! She doesn't talk, but she speaks with her eyes, her paws, her meows, and I understand her. I really love you, Cici.

Ciao!
Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

Last night the Bobars came to listen to RFI, the way they do every night. Bojana and I were playing cards. We were all relaxed somehow and forgot for a moment that we are living in a war. The shelling started at around 9:30. Out of the blue, the way it usually does. We raced over to Nedo's place. The shooting died down around midnight and we returned home. You can't relax for even a second! Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

Daddy has a hernia. He's lost a lot of weight and carrying the water was too much for him. The doctor has told him that he mustn't lift anything heavy anymore. Mustn't? But somebody has to bring the water! Mommy will have to do it alone now. How will she manage?

Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

Mommy is carrying home the water. It's hard on her, but she has to do it. The water hasn't come back on. Nor has the electricity.

I didn't tell you, Mimmy, but I've forgotten what it's like to have water pouring out of a tap, what it's like to shower. We use a jug now. The jug has replaced the shower. We wash dishes and clothes like in the Middle Ages. This war is taking us back to olden times. And we take it, we suffer it, but we don't know for how long?

Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

I'm not in any of the classes I thought I'd be in at summer school. I've signed up for the literature and drama club. They gave me Abdulah Sidran's “Sarajevo Prayer” to recite. It's great.

Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

I go regularly to summer school. I like it. We're together. We don't think about the shelling or the war. Maja and Lela, who help our teacher Irena Vidovic, cheer us up. We write, we recite, we spend the hours together. It takes me back to the days before the war. I'm also glad to be able to go out into the street. True, it's not far away (200 meters from my house), but I've finally stepped outside. Daddy takes me. Children mustn't walk in the street alone in Sarajevo. I was already going stir crazy. And I “do” myself up, I wear something nice. I mustn't show off too much?

Ciao!
Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

I'm feeling good today. There's no shooting, I go to summer school, play with Maja, Bojana and Nedo. We fool around, we have our own kind of humor. Sometimes we laugh so much we even forget about the war. We simply get carried away and it's peacetime again. But only until something bursts or explodes. Then we come back to reality. Sometimes I think that if it weren't for them I don't know how I'd be able to stand it. Thank you Maja, Bojana and Nedo, for making it easier for me to take everything that's happening, for killing my boredom and my thoughts about all these ugly things.

Remember them, Mimmy, don't ever forget them. I certainly won't.

Your Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

The days are passing by more pleasantly. There's no shooting in our neighborhood, but we've been without electricity now for more than a month. If only the electricity would come back on. If only I could cross the bridge and at least go to Grandma and Granddad's! I'm working on it. I'm putting pressure on Mommy and Daddy. Will it work???? We'll find out!

 

Zlata

Dear Mimmy,
YES! YES! YES! THE ELECTRICITY IS BACK!!!!!!

Tomorrow is Mommy's birthday. I made a paper heart and wrote HAPPY BIRTHDAY on it ... and I cut a bouquet of roses out of the newspaper.

Mommy started making a cake, the kind you don't need to cook, and when everything was finished, the electricity came back on ...

OOOHHHH!!!!!!!
Your Zlata

Dear Mimmy, Today is Auntie Boda's birthday. We gave her a pair of stockings and a packet of coffee. The
hurmasice
[sweet cakes] were super!

Ciao!
Zlata

Dear Mimmy, Remember, Mimmy, how I told you about two-and-a-half-year-old little Nejra, whom Samra and Emina keep talking about (how cute and talkative she is), and how I'd like to meet her? Well, she came to the neighborhood today. A shell fell into their apartment and they had to leave the place. Now they're with Samra and Emina. Samra and Emina were right. SHE'S SOOO CUTE!

Samra found a job. She's a mechanical engineer and she's working twelve hours a day now. I hardly ever see her.

Your Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

Today is Alma and Dado's wedding anniversary. We gave them a tie-and-belt holder. We had a good time and a good cake!

Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

I have another sad piece of news for you. A boy from my drama club got KILLED! ... A shell fell in front of the community center and a horrible piece of shrapnel killed him. His name was Eldin and he was a refugee from Grbavica.

Another innocent victim of this disgusting war, another child among the thousands of other children killed in Sarajevo. I feel so sorry, he was a sweet, good boy. Oh, God, what is happening here? Hasn't there been enough!?

Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

Today is Alma's birthday. We gave her two herbal shampoos. We had a super time, but ... I looked out the window and saw a flash. I thought it was somebody signaling, that's not unusual in war time. But ... BOOM!! Shattered glass, falling plaster. A shell fell in front of the shop next door and I saw it all from the fourth floor. We rushed over to Nedo's apartment and watched TV.