Zero's Return (5 page)

But this…  He
bit his lip, looking at the screen.  This was different.  This was
suicide
. 
The jenfurglings back home couldn’t
possibly
think to start a war.

Yet, remembering
the numbers, Fred had the gut-sinking feeling that they could.  Because they
didn’t
understand
.  They didn’t realize what they were up against.  They
hadn’t seen the armadas, hadn’t been invited to the military expositions,
hadn’t watched the weapons demonstrations, hadn’t toured the carriers.  They
hadn’t seen the
Dhasha
.

Realizing that
his anxiety was making him sweat, Fred retrieved a tissue from the dispenser on
his desk and dabbed at his forehead.  He hated sweating.  Hair and sweating
were both signs of a lower evolutionary life-form, one that could not
consciously regulate its own body temperature.  And Fred was hairy.  And he
sweated.  A lot.  He shaved religiously, keeping himself bald except for his
eyebrows, but every time he started sweating in the Regency, it felt like every
alien eye was upon him, judging him.  Which only made him sweat worse.

Damn his short,
hairy, slick-skinned furg of a grandfather.  Oftentimes, Fred heard it
whispered behind his back that Humans were certifiably the closest relatives to
the furry, stupid little ape-like creatures that loved to pound their stunted
faces against rocks and eat their own excrement.  It was whispered that, based
on that evidence alone, Humankind barely qualified for its seat in the
Regency.  And, worse, the physical similarities between Humans and furgs were
unmistakable
. 
Both were bipedal, upright-standing, with mostly hairless bodies, big skulls,
and flat, ovoid faces.  When compared to a computer-generated image of a
Neanderthal, furgs were almost identical, if only half the size.  Which, of
course, made it even harder for Fred to face his more-evolved peers with any
confidence or dignity.  So they were
large
furgs…

“Representative
Mullich, if you need to bring tissues with you, I can arrange it,”
the
Watcher said dryly.

“Just give me a
moment to think,” Fred muttered, irritated.

“Don’t think
too hard,”
the Watcher replied…amused? 
“I’m told you might rupture
something.”

Fred narrowed
his eyes.  Not even the
Watcher
respected him.  The Watcher, who was
supposed to be an impartial mediator between all species, a personal servant to
every official on Koliinaat, insulted his intelligence to his face. 

…and Fred knew
he wasn’t going to do a damn thing about it.  Knowing he was a chickenshit,
knowing the
Watcher
knew he was a chickenshit, Fred went back to
reviewing the documents in front of him, unable to shake the nagging feeling
that Earth was about to do something incredibly stupid.

The numbers
bothered him.  A lot.  Earth had never wanted to join the vast alien Congress,
but like every other newly-discovered life-bearing planet, it had been given no
choice.  Now, even eleven turns after undergoing the mandatory sixty-three turn
trial phase and becoming a full member, Earth constantly tested the gray area
of Congressional laws, seeing how far it could go.

And, as if
Fred’s job wasn’t hard enough, Earthlings—the petulant little shits that they
were—made no attempt to hide their disdain for Congress.  They were constantly
breaking trade agreements, stealing energy-pods, imposing sanctions, illegally
harvesting planets, and raising tariffs.  There were even whispers that Earth
had hired space-pirates to harass neighboring solar systems, a major offense
that usually brought with it three-sixths of probation and higher enlistment
quotas. 

It was as if
they had completely forgotten why they submitted to Congressional rule in the
first place. 

Fred’s written
and video-feed warnings never seemed to make an impact in the number of Earth’s
violations, either.  The furgs back at home considered his position ceremonial
at best and were oblivious to the danger of angering the Regency.  They had not
seen the devastation Congress could wreak upon a rebel member.  To them, Eeloir
and Neskfaat were just myths.

Yet Fred had
taken the mandatory tours after each war.  He had walked the corpse-ridden
continents.  He had seen the slaver colonies, the factories, and the
work-camps.  He’d seen the misery, the unspeakable ruin.  He
knew
.

As soon as a
planet went rogue, it was utterly crushed by the Ground Force and Planetary
Ops.  Once it had been crushed so thoroughly that it could no longer resist, it
became free game to the rest of Congress.  Anything on it could be exploited by
any enterprising species interested in claiming more land, free work, or
limited resources.  If Earth actually took the step and declared war, Fred had
no doubt in his mind that alien races, especially the slave-hungry Dhasha,
would set up trading colonies on Earth’s surface after the Congressional Army
wiped out all of Earth’s resistance.  It was no secret that the Dhasha had been
harvesting unlucky Humans for their breeding programs for the last seventy-four
turns.  They now had their own home-bred populations on dozens of Dhasha
planets, and illicit Human slaves were now in higher demand than Nansaba. 

And, once again,
Fred was powerless to stop it.  That the Dhasha were enslaving free, sentient
species was quietly overlooked by Congress, because the Dhasha were the single
most dangerous species in Congress, even outstripping the Jreet due to their
sheer numbers. 

“The Regency
is waiting, Representative Mullich,”
the Watcher reminded him.

“Just screw the
Regency a moment, all right?” Fred snapped.  “I have an important diplomatic
issue to deal with.”

The Watcher
sighed.

Fred ignored
it.  If Earth ever got reprimanded, the Dhasha would take over.  They would use
its incredibly high life-supporting resources to transform the planet into a
breeding ground for slaves, which they would then ship back to their home
planets for sale. 

War.  It looked
like Humans were preparing for war.

They could
not
be that stupid.

“Representative
Mullich, I understand that you have limited resources from which to draw, but
generally, if an esteemed Representative such as yourself is summoned through
direct-node, it is a reasonable assumption that someone on the Tribunal is
demanding their presence.”
 The Watcher paused for that to sink in. 
“Further,
it can be assumed that if the summonee does not respond appropriately
in…fifteen seconds, now…the messenger—that would be me—has been given special
instructions to retrieve said Representative for the sake of expediency and not
displeasing the Tribunal.”

Frustrated, Fred
closed the file and said, “Fine, goddamn it.”  He shoved his chair away from
his desk.  He hated going to the Regency.  Nothing ever
happened
at the
Regency.  The alien equivalent of fat old men in suits would sit around and
argue for hours on end and not accomplish anything.  There
was
nothing
to accomplish.  Every political breakthrough that could have been worked out by
Fred and his peers had been worked out millions of turns before he was born. 
The system was already perfect.  There was no
point. 
Especially not for
him
, a Representative of a species of absolutely no import.  The Bajna
ran the banking.  The Jreet ran security.  The Ooreiki made art.  The Jahul
traded.  The Ueshi ran the Space Force.  The Dhasha ran the Ground Force.  The
Huouyt stole property, lied casually, ran an Assassins’ Guild that the Regency
was too terrified to shut down, stole people’s identities, made and smuggled
illicit weapons, defrauded the government, stole patents, randomly poisoned
strangers, and collectively made an ass out of themselves—but were balanced out
by the rest of Congress.  It was sheer formalities, and it bored him to tears. 

“Five
seconds, Representative,”
the Watcher said pleasantly.

Irritated, now,
Fred growled, “Let’s get this over with.” 

No sooner had he
finished voicing the words than his vision grayed out and he felt an instant of
pinprick discomfort throughout his body as the Watcher transferred him into the
Congressional seat of power.

Built by the
legendary Geuji, the Regency was an enormous spherical room whose interior was
completely covered in seats, over seven thousand of them, only half of which
were occupied in the anticipation of finding more members.  Though it was
unnerving to Humans, this had been the standard Congressional meeting-place for
over one and a half million years, since it left no member higher than any
other member.  It was much like the mythical Round Table, except taken one step
further.  A specialized hologram hovered in the center of the room, made to be
right-side-up to every creature in the room.  Right now, the picture showed
that of First Citizen Aliphei, who was older than some planets.

The First
Citizen was the very last of his race.  He was about the size of an elephant,
with wrinkled, furry blue skin covering his body.  If it weren’t for his red
eyes and four sharp black tusks, he would almost have looked much like a cross
between an elephant and a polar bear.  Fred could pick him out amongst the
seats, his revered chair taking up the space of a dozen. 

The fact that
the First Citizen had taken it upon himself to make an appearance did not bode
well for whatever poor planet had broken Congress’s laws this time.   Fred sat
down and made himself comfortable, vaguely excited at the prospect of seeing a
member planet chastised, since that always spiced up the usual humdrum
discussion of intergalactic politics.

When the First
Citizen’s image turned to
him
, however, Fred felt the blood drain from
his face.  He glanced at the seats nearest him, trying to determine if possibly
the hologram only
looked
like it was facing him.

All doubts faded
when the First Citizen’s alien snarl filled the room.

“
Representative
Mullich.
”  The speaker inset in the small lectern in front of Fred made him
jump.  His heart began to pound and he swallowed convulsively.

The alien
hologram began to snarl again.

“
We have
received reports that your planet has begun stockpiling weapons.  Are your
people preparing for a war against Congress?
”

Weapons? 
Shit! 
Sweat broke out on Fred’s face in a warm sheen as he quickly said,
“No, Representative Aliphei, Earth has no intentions of attacking any member of
Congress.  Humans are loyal members.” 

The hologram
made a snort and what sounded like a high-pitched giggle, followed by several
guttural clicks.

There was no
translation from the Watcher, which meant Aliphei had intentionally switched
his translator off as he conferred with his Bajnan assistants.  Knowing what
that meant, Fred broke out in goosebumps. 
Oh God,
he thought, in
growing panic. 
They found something.  Those furgs back home got caught!

Aliphei spoke
again, and this time it was translated.  “
Not only is your planet
stockpiling ships and weapons, but it has radically increased its science
funding.
” 
  

“For peaceful
uses,” Fred said quickly.  Too quickly.  He winced, biting back the rest of
what he had been going to say.

Aliphei spoke,
and there was an iciness to his voice that even the Watcher managed to
translate.  “
We have reason to believe that Earth has instituted a breeding
program for genetically-enhanced Human foot-soldiers.
”

Fred’s jaw
dropped.  The First Citizen was accusing Earth of breaking the Second Law of
Congress, the most damning thing a member planet could do, other than attacking
another member planet.

“
Well,
Mullich?
” Aliphei’s hologram demanded.

“That’s not
possible,” Fred babbled.  “Genetics experiments…you misunderstand the reports!”

The Shadyi’s
snort of disdain was translated impeccably.  “
I misunderstand nothing.  My
information is much better than your own, Mullich.  See for yourself.
”

At that, a Human
girl appeared in the center of the room, suspended in air like a rag doll. 
Even from that distance, Fred could tell that her eyes were glazed over almost
as if she were drugged.  Immediately, an image appeared on his lectern, and on
every other lectern in the Regency.  It was a scan of a Human brain.  Embedded
deep within the tissue, a square cube of white rested like a cyst.  A chip,
much too bulky to be Congressional-made.  Fred felt bile rising in his throat.

“
She is one
of many we have captured,
” Aliphei growled.  “
Human generals forced her
to do their bidding by triggering the pain response through the rudimentary
chip in her brain.
”

“That doesn’t
prove…” Fred began.

“
She has the
ability to move objects and matter,
” Aliphei interrupted.  “
Human
scientists also experimented with telepathy and energy manipulation, as well as
dabbled in a failed shapeshifting project, and Earth’s military is openly
combating our patrols with the telekinetics and telemorphs as we speak.  We
already lost three ships to these mutated abominations.
”

There was a roar
of outrage from those gathered in the Regency.  Fred suddenly wished he could
shrink out of sight.

“
Representative
of Earth,”
Aliphei’s voice boomed,
“I demand a Trial.
”

Fred’s mouth was
suddenly dry.  The entire Regency was a resounding clash of noise, three
thousand different alien languages demanding justice.

“Watcher,”
Aliphei continued,
“secure Representative Mullich in his room until we are
ready for him.”