Zane & Lucky's First Christmas (Forever Love, #5) (8 page)

“Yeah, I guess it hasn’t really hit me that my dad won’t be giving me away on my wedding day and my mom isn’t here to help me pick a dress and well, I just don’t even know if I really want a big wedding, but I don’t know how to tell Zane. And now he wants us to write our vows but I have no idea what to say. And I don’t even know what we’re going to do with the babies. Neither of us really has a clue and oh, Sidney, I just don’t know which way is up anymore.”

“Take a deep breath, Lucky.” His voice was calm and soothing. “Remember that that boy loves you more than life itself. That’s all you need to remember. Everything else will be right as rain. It’ll work out. All you need to focus on is staying healthy for the babies. Me and Betty had no clue what to do when we got married and started having babies. In fact, I still don’t have a clue, but we got ourselves some mighty fine kids.”

“Oh Sidney.” I laughed, feeling less overwhelmed. “You always know what to say to make me feel better.”

“Cheer up, Buttercup. Life could be a lot worse.”

“I know.” I smiled into the phone. “You wouldn’t know it from our conversation right now, but I’m really happy. Really, really happy.”

“Good, that’s more like it.”

“I need your help, Sidney.” I whispered, scared that Zane was going to walk into the room and catch me. “I really want to find the letter Zane’s mother wrote to him before she passed away. I want to give it to him as a wedding present.”

“What a wonderful idea.” His voice was warm. “How can I help?”

“I need the phone number for the detective that tracked down his mom for Noah.”

“Sure, hold on. Talking about Noah, when are you guys coming over?”

“We were just talking about that. I was hoping next week.”

“That will work. Hold on, please, Lucky.” I heard Sidney place the phone down and I thought about what I had just told him. I hadn’t realized how badly stressed I was, until I had said everything to Sidney on the phone. I knew that I needed to talk to Zane about how I felt. ‘You still there?”

“Yes, Sidney.”

“Here’s the number. You tell him how important the letter is, you hear?” Sidney’s voice was gruff. “And be wary, Lucky, I know Zane seems strong, but he’s still just a man, a mere mortal like the rest of us. I have a feeling that this is a really trying time for him. So much has gone on in his life recently, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s trying to figure out how to cope with it all right now.”

“Thanks, Sidney. I have thought about that.
Me, Noah, the news about his mom, the babies. I’m sure it’s a lot of information for him to digest.”

“It’s a lot of heady information. Better men than him have cracked under the pressure of everything. But, he’ll be fine.”

“I hope so.”

“I know so, he has you, Lucky. He has all he needs to get through it all. Now, I’m
more worried about Noah.”

“Noah?” I frowned. “Why?”

“Because he doesn’t have a support system like you and Zane. He has Zane and he has me, and he has you. But he doesn’t have a life partner.”

“Well, he
kinda has Robin.”

“Right now, his relationship with Robin is up in the air. That can go either way. She’s a good girl, but she has issues. I don’t know what’s going to happen there.”

“Is that what you thought about me, Sidney?” I teased him.

“No,” His voice was warm again. “I knew right away that you and Zane were made for each other. Any fool on Earth can see it.”

“Aww, thanks, Sidney.”

“Don’t thank me.” He laughed. “Thank God that you both found each other.”

“I will. And I’ll send a prayer up that this detective can find Zane’s mom’s letter.”

“That would be the best present he could receive.”

“Thanks, Sidney. Can’t wait to see you next week.”

“I can’t wait to see you both as well.” And with that he hung up. I lay back on the bed and burrowed my head in Zane’s pillow and breathed in his smell. How I delighted in his musky masculine scent, I swear that his smell alone could turn me on.

“Missing me?” Zane opened the door and I stared up at him as he grinned at me.

“No.” I blushed, embarrassed to have been caught devouring his pillow with my nose.

“Liar.”

“I don’t lie.”

“What’s that, Pinocchio?”

“Ass.”

“I’m the ass, you love.”

“Come here,” I sat up in the bed and motioned him over to me. “Make sure you lock the door.”

“Lock the door?” His eyes gleamed at me. “Is this what I think it is?”

“If you’re thinking you’re about to get morning sex, then yes.”

“Hallelujah.” He jumped onto the bed and pulled me towards him. “Bedroom sex is better than car sex any day of the week.”

“You say that now.”

“We’ll try again in a different car.”

“More like when I’m not pregnant, as well.”

“That is a good idea. I do want to keep my balls, in case I want to get you pregnant again.”

“Let’s pop out these twins before we talk about any more babies.”

“I can wear a condom, if you want?”

“It’s a bit late for that.” I giggled as he kissed my face and rubbed his nose against mine.

“I’m excited, you know.” He stared into my eyes. “I can’t believe we’re going to be parents.”

“I know
, I’m excited as well.”

“I wanted to make sure you’re okay with everything. I know we kind of rushed everything. Well, I did. I know you wanted to finish school and then go and get your PhD and here you are, having to take more time off of school and you’re about to become a mother and a wife and now you’re also looking after my brother and his daughter. And, well, I know it has to be overwhelming and I didn’t want us to rush into any of this. I hope you’re not mad at me.”

“Mad at you?” I shook my head and stroked the side of his face. “How could I be mad at you, Zane? I love you. You’ve brought so much light and happiness into my life. I wouldn’t trade anything in my life. I love everything about this crazy family we have.”

“I’m scared, you know.” He
laid next to me on the bed and pulled me towards him. “I’m scared you’re going to resent me. Everything has been so rushed between us, I don’t want you to think I’m trying to trap you to me. I love you with everything in my heart and soul, and sometimes I don’t wonder if subconsciously I’m doing everything in my power to make it so that you never leave me.”

“I would never leave you, Zane.” My heart broke at the pain in his eyes as he spoke. “You’re my everything.”

“I know, but sometimes I feel like I couldn’t live if you weren’t in my life, Lucky. You’re the blood running through my veins. You’re the air in my lungs. You’re my reason for waking up in the morning. You’re my everything, and I don’t want you to feel like you’re trapped with me.”

“I have never felt that way.” I grabbed his hands and kissed him softly on the lips.

“You’re the blood in my veins as well, my love. We were made for each other.”

“I feel like we’re saying our vows.” He laughed and held me close. I could feel his heart beating beneath me and I snuggled into him tighter, loving the feel of his warm body next to mine. There was nothing better than this moment. Absolutely nothing.

Chapter 7

Zane

I stared at the computer screen in front of me, and I thought my mind was going to explode. There was so much that went into planning a wedding. I understood why Lucky was so frustrated in planning everything. It just seemed like the lists went on: flowers, table covers, table pieces, guest lists, invitations, rings, the dress, the tuxedo, the bridal party, it just went on and on. And I wasn’t sure that Noah’s idea was so good now that I was in the planning stage. I had no idea what she liked or what she wo
uld want. Absolutely no idea. I didn’t even know if she should wear a white dress, I didn't even know what size dress to get. What if I got it wrong? She was pregnant and growing bigger every day; what if I got a dress that didn’t fit, that would ruin everything! I sighed as I stared at the screen again. I didn’t even know if I should plan a honeymoon or bachelorette parties. What friends would I invite for her? Would she want a male stripper? Not that there was any way in hell that I would let her have a stripper there trying to rub up on her. Hell no!

“What’s up, bro?” Noah walked into the study and I sighed.

“Just trying to plan this wedding.”

“Oh, awesome.”

“Not awesome.” I shook my head. “Trust me, it’s so not awesome.”

“What’s going on?”

“Absolutely nothing. I have no idea what I’m doing. I have no idea what she likes or want she wants. I’m a fucking awful fiancé and I’m going to make an even worse husband.”

“Calm down, bro.” Noah started laughing. “You’re being way too hard on yourself. I don’t think many men could plan a wedding.”

“Then why did you convince me to do this shit?” I almost shouted. “I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing. So I’m going to ruin Lucky’s big day and she doesn’t even know.”

“Take a deep breath.” Noah plopped down in the chair across from me. “You have time. What date are you planning for?”

“What date am I planning what for?” I shook my head at him in exasperation.

“The wedding, dear brother. The wedding.”

“Oh,” I shrugged. “I have no fucking idea.”

“No need to swear. Pull out a calendar and let’s check some dates.”

“Fine.” I opened my organizer and handed it to him.

“Well, you’re the one who’s going to choose it, bro.”

“I have no clue.” I glared at him and he sighed.

“Okay, let’s see. I think we should do it fairly soon.
It’s still early summer, it’s nice out. What about in three weeks?”

“Three weeks?” I made a face. “That seems awfully soon.”

“It’s not going to be anything big. You want to do it while Lucky is still comfortable in her own skin. She is having twins, she may have to go on bed rest or something.”

“What?” My heart stopped for a moment.

“I mean I don’t know if she will, but she may. The sooner the better. Tell her you want to take a family trip before the babies come.”

“I guess I could say that, and then see if Sidney and Betty could come as a surprise.”

“You going to tell Dad?”

“What’s the point?”

“Yeah,” Noah looked down and then back up at me. “I don’t know how we ended up with the parents that we did.”

“Have you spoken to your mom?”

“What’s the point?” He shrugged, but I could see the pain in his eyes. “She doesn’t exist to me.”

“She loves you.”

“No, she doesn’t.” He shook his head. “And I’m okay with that. I have you and Skylar and Lucky.”

“You can tell yourself that as much as you want.” I grabbed his hand. “But we both know it’s not true. She’s your mom. You love her. Give her another chance.”

“She doesn’t deserve it.”

“We all deserve it.”

“You’re a better man than me. I don’t want her in my life.”

“Don’t close the door, Noah. Think about it.”

“As long as we’re talking about thinking about things. I think you need to call Leeza.”

“
Leeza?” I made a face. “What does that bitch have to do with anything?”

“I know you don’t like her, but she is
Lucky’s best friend.” Noah gave me a look. “She’d likely know what Lucky likes, right?”

“I guess so,” I shrugged. “What does that matter?”

“She can help you plan the wedding.”

“No way in hell.” I shook my head vehemently.

“Stop thinking about your own feelings for a moment. Who knows Lucky better than any of us? I know you hate to think that perhaps someone else was closer to her at one moment in time, but Leeza is her best friend. She can give you some good advice.”

“Or she can set me up and ruin the wedding.”

“I don’t think she’ll do that. From what Lucky’s told me, Leeza is or was a solid friend. I think that it’s worth a try. Give her a call. You might be surprised at how helpful she is.”

“Trust me, I would be very surprised if she was helpful in any way.”

“Give it a try.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll call her.”

“Good.” Noah stood up. “I’m going to take Skylar out for some ice cream, want anything?”

“Are you sure she should be having so much sugary stuff?”

“Huh?” Noah made a face. “What are you talking about?”

“I don’t know, but she seems to have a lot of sugary stuff. I don’t know if that’s good for her.”

“I don’t think it’s hurting her, super Dad.”

“I’m not trying to put you down, Noah. But Lucky was talking about the three of us taking a parenting class, and I was thinking maybe it would be a good idea.”

“So you’re already calling me a shitty father.”

“Are you being serious right now?”

“No.” He laughed. “Sign me up. I’d be happy to take the class.”

“Okay,” I grinned. “I was about to slap you if you were being serious.”

“Wait until I tell Lucky about your violent tendencies.”

“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes.

“Hey, wait a few days before you make that call for the class, will you?”

“Why?”

“I’m going on a picnic tomorrow with Robin and Skylar.” He smiled.

“And?”

“You know!”

“You’re not expecting her to come to a parenting class because of one picnic, are you?” I gave him a look and he made a face. “I’m your older brother. I can still slap some sense into you. You cannot expect this girl to become a mother because one date goes well.”

“I’d like her to come.” His eyes flashed at me.

“Okay, okay.” I chuckled. “Who am I to say you’re moving too fast?” I shrugged. “I’ll wait, but let me know what happens after the date.”

“Thanks for your confidence in my dating capabilities.”

“Hey,
we can’t all be me.”

“There goes any chance of me helping you plan the wedding of the year.”

“Whatever.” I laughed. “I can bridezilla you into doing what I want.”

“Oh God, no. I do not want to see my brother becoming a
bridezilla.”

“Get out of here. I’m talking nonsense now.” I sat back down and grabbed my phone to call
Leeza. I really didn’t want to get her involved, but I knew that Noah had a point. If anyone knew Lucky’s favorite colors and flowers, it would be Leeza. Girls talked about that stuff. I had no idea what she was into, besides in bed, and I was pretty positive that that knowledge wasn’t going to win me any points in planning a wedding. I grabbed my phone and realized that I had missed a text from Leo. I texted him back asking if he wanted to meet for lunch, and then called Leeza.

“It’s a sunny day in Florida.” A bright cheery voice answered the phone and I couldn’t stop myself from rolling my eyes.

“Leeza?”

“This is
Leeza, who is this?” She purred into the phone and it took all of my patience to not tell her off.

“It’s Zane.”

“Zane who?” Her voice became stiff.

“Zane Beaumont, your best friend’s fiancé.”

“Which best friend?”

“
Leeza, I swear to God. This is Lucky’s fiancé.”

“Oh, what do you want?”

“I need your help.”

“No.”

“You haven’t even asked what for!”

“I don’t care.” Her voice sounded petulant. “I don’t like you and I don’t care what you want.”

“It’s for Lucky.”

“Is she okay?” She paused. “Oh my God, is she okay?”

“I guess you do care about her, huh?”

“She’s my best friend, and I have been in her life for years before you and will be in it for years after you.”

“You think so?”

“Chicks before dicks, asshole.”

“Okay, Leeza. I get it. You don’t like me. You already know I can’t stand you. I won’t even pretend otherwise, but I need your help. The wedding is stressing Lucky out. I want to plan a surprise wedding for her, so that she doesn’t have to worry about it. I need your help.”

“Say that again.” Her voice sounded satisfied.

“Say what again?”

“That you need my help.”

“I need your help.”

“Beg me.”

“You’ve got to be fucking joking. I’m not begging you for shit.”

“Now, now, Zane. I guess you don’t really need my help.”

“If you want your best friend to have a good wedding, then you will help me.” I was about to end the phone call when she spoke again.

“Fine, I’ll help. I want a first-class ticket to Los Angeles, though.”

“What?” I shuddered.

“If I’m helping, I’m coming to the wedding.”

“It’s going to be in three weeks, though.”

“Then you definitely need my help.”

“Fine.”

“Good.”

“So what are her favorite flowers?”

“You don’t know that?” Her voice sounded shocked. “What sort of boyfriend are you?”

“Save your judgment for someone who cares. I know what flowers she likes, I want to know what flowers she loves so much that she would want a bouquet of them on her wedding day.”

“I don’t fucking know that.”

“What do you mean you don’t know that? Don’t you girls discuss shit like that?”

“Are you kidding me right now, Zane? We’re in college. Most college girls aren’t discussing what bouquets we want at our wedding, we’re talking about which guy we want to fuck next week.”

“You’re so crass.”

“You know you love it.”

“I do not have patience for you right now, Leeza.”

“She likes peonies, and roses, and daffodils.”
Leeza sighed. “She loves the color yellow, and peaches and light blues as well. Don’t get her a form-fitting dress – she’s pregnant, so she won’t feel comfortable in that. You should wear a tuxedo. Make sure that your boutonniere matches her bouquet. It will show her that you thought things through properly. Where’s the wedding going to be?”

“I was thinking at a vineyard, in Napa Valley.” I answered her quickly, jotting down notes, surprised at how helpful she was being.

“Not a vineyard.” She sighed. “She’s pregnant, Zane. Use your brain. Napa is fine, but choose some beautiful field or something. Somewhere really picturesque. Lucky will love that.” She sounded wistful. “And don’t get her a white dress, it will get dirty, get something cream. She loves cream and it suits her complexion.”

“Okay, cream it will be.”

“I’ll look online and send you some links to some dresses she would like. Choose your favorite.”

“What size should I get?” I mumbled.

“Well, she normally wears a size 6 or 8, so I’m thinking get an 8 or 10.”

“Okay.”

“And no heels, get her some cute Tory Burch flats. I’ll send you the link. Lucky sucks at walking in heels.”

“Anything else?”

“Don’t forget to buy her some sexy underwear. Oh, and a garter belt.” She giggled. “But I bet that’s the one thing you won’t forget.”

“Funny. Not.”

“Get white gold bands or platinum. Don’t forget to get something sweet inscribed on them. I don’t have to tell you what to inscribe, I presume.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Contact a church up there and get a priest to preside over the ceremony, preferable Episcopalian, that’s the church she grew up in. It’s important to her, she’ll want a priest there.”

“I’m guessing an Elvis won’t work, then?”

“I know that has got to be a joke.” Her voice sounded short. “I swear, Zane Beaumont, you’re cute, but you’re a real dumbass.”

“Why, thank you, darkness in the light.”

“I’m the darkness that’s saving your ass.”

“I know, I know. Thank you.”

“I want to be a Godmother to the babies, by the way.”

“Uh huh.”
Over my dead body
.