Z-Burbia: A Zombie Novel (11 page)

“Let’s get you home and fixed up,” I say to Stuart
, “you look worse than I do.”

“Not possible, ma’am,” Stuart smiles.

“No, seriously, Jace,” Harlan says, “what the fuck is up with the outfit?”

“You are welcome to shut your pie hole,” I say. “No, seriously.”

“You can’t be dressed like that and not expect questions,” Stuart says.

“I didn’t dress like this!” I protest.

“Quiet down, Long Pork,” Elsbeth warns. “Still gotta watch for Zs.”

Stuart’s crew eyes Elsbeth then me
, when she says Long Pork.

I let the name slide by and glance at Stuart. “Jon?”

“I don’t know,” he says. “We’re gonna get back home and then work out how to go look for him.”

“You aren’t going anywhere,” I say.

“Neither are you, limpy,” he replies.

“I don’t think Stella’s letting me out of her sight any time soon.”

“Who’s Stella?” Elsbeth asks. “That your wife that won’t like me calling you Long Pork? She a nice lady or a ball buster?”

The guys all laugh. A little too hard for my taste.

“I wouldn’t call her a ball buster,” I say. Harlan snorts.

“Hey, now,” Stuart snaps. “Show some respect for the lady. She takes care of the children and keeps their brains from turning to mush. When one of those kids is grown and fighting next to you
, you’ll be thanking her up and down for making sure that kid has a brain in his or her head.”

“Didn’t mean nothing by it,” Harlan grumbles.

“So, does she bust your balls?” Elsbeth asks again.

“Why do you keep asking that?” I say. “What’s up with the ball busting?”

“Pa said women are ball busters and can’t be trusted with nothing ‘cept cleaning, cooking, and fucking.”

“Jesus,” I say. Everyone is silent for a minute before I respond. “No, she’s not a ball buster. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me and I’d die for her in an instant.”

“Huh,” Elsbeth replies. “Die for her? Guess she’s good at fucking, because no one is gonna die for cooking or cleaning.”

There is dead silence for a brief moment before everyone bursts out laughing.

“Oh, shit, man,” Harlan says. “That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time!”

“What?” Elsbeth asks, honestly perplexed. “What’s so funny?”

This gets everyone laughing even harder and I give her a big smile so she knows she’s not the butt of the joke. I really don’t want her pissed off when we are so close to home.

Speaking of, we come around the last bend in the road and it starts to dip down to the entrance to Whispering Pines. I have never been so glad to see that gate.

“Open up,” Stuart orders.

“Gotta check for bites,” a sentry replies.

“Yes, you do,” Stuart says. “So open up and let us in so we can get checked then.”

“Outside the gate,” the sentry says.

“Inside ain’t the procedure anymore,” the other sentry replies, obviously uncomfortable with how the conversation is turning.

“Like hell it’s not,” Stuart barks. “I made the damn procedure! Open the gate!”

“Gotta get checked first, James,” Brenda says, appearing at the watchtower. “New rules.”

“That makes no damn sense, Brenda!” Stuart shouts and Brenda looks like she’s been physically slapped by his voice.

“You hush now!” she warns. “Or none of you are coming inside. Just get checked and you can be done with it. All checks happen outside the gate now. New rule in the covenants. The Board just approved it.”

“Whoa,” I say
, “you can’t just call a Board vote without giving the full HOA notice.”

“Emergency measures,” Brenda says. “You’ll be informed once you are inside. After you get checked.”

“Jesus,” I grumble as I start to strip off my clothes.

“And what are you wearing, Jace?” Brenda asks from above. “That outfit is ridiculous.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” I say.

We all stand there naked, checking each other over. Except for Elsbeth. She refuses to undress.

“They won’t let you in otherwise,” I say. “It’s to make sure there are no bites.”

Elsbeth eyes me for a minute
(luckily her eyes stay up) and then looks at the gate. She squints up at Brenda and frowns.

“If she doesn’t un
dress right now,” Brenda says, “then she isn’t coming in ever. I’m not keen on someone new being allowed into Whispering Pines.”

“She saved my life,” I say
, “and she’s going to undress.” I look at her. “Don’t be shy. It’s all good. No one is going to act like a pervert.”

“I don’t know what a
prevert is,” Elsbeth says. “But y’all have to promise not to stare at me. Sometimes Pa would stare at me when he was done with a new…”

“What?” I ask, not sure I want to. “
Done with a new what?”

She doesn’t answer, just starts removing the many layers of filthy clothing from her body. When she is naked
, we all try not to stare like she’d asked, but it is very hard.

“Pa called them my beauty marks,” Elsbeth says. “But I know they ain’t beautiful. Even I know that.”

I have said before that Elsbeth is a gorgeous young woman, but it isn’t her muscular body that we all try not to stare at. It’s what covers that body.

“Oh, my…” Brenda whispers from above.

Without us saying anything, the gate opens and we all wait for Elsbeth to go first. She looks at me and I nod. She avoids everyone else’s stares and slips inside the gate. I’m right behind her, followed closely by the rest, their eyes glued to what covers her skin.

Burns
. Layers of burn marks. Circles, squares, triangles, s-shapes, spirals. All deliberate and covering nearly every inch of her skin, from wrist to shoulder, calf to thigh, across her back, her belly, and her breasts.

“Holy Mary, Mother of Joseph,” Mindy says as she surrounds Elsbeth with a group of her security officers. “That ain’t right.”

“Don’t stare,” Elsbeth says
, and I can hear many emotions in her voice, not the least of which is anger.

I have a pretty good idea what the woman is capable of and I step in between Mindy and Elsbeth. “She’s going home with me,” I say, surprised at the words even as they come out of my mouth. “She’s going to get cleaned up and then fed. You can do your interview at my place later.”

“Dude.”

“Whoa.”

“Stella is gonna kill him.”

I hear all of these comments behind me and ignore them. I especially ignore the last comment. Stella
is
going to kill me.

“Can’t let you do that, Jace,” Mindy says. “Express orders from Brenda. She is to come with me and be debriefed.”

Stuart laughs and inserts himself between Mindy and me. “Debriefed? Exactly what does that mean? Please, I’d love to hear this.”

Stuart may be a guy that follows orders, but he has never been one to condone incompetence or insincerity, bo
th traits that Mindy seems to possess in full.

“Well, she has to tell us what she knows,” Mindy says.

“And?” Stuart prompts. “Go on.”

“Well, she could have vital information about the people coming after us,” Mindy says. “Those people you ran into.”

Stuart looks over his shoulder and up at the watchtower. Brenda is against the rail, staring directly at him.

“Those people…” His voice trails off.

He gently takes Elsbeth by the elbow and directs her over to me. She tries to press against me, her anger having turned to confusion and fear. I keep my forearm between us, making sure certain parts don’t, well, touch.

“I think the young woman will be going home with Jace
, so Stella can get her cleaned up,” Stuart states, his eyes still locked with Brenda’s. “Then Dr. McCormick will examine her. Once she gives the okay, I think a debriefing is a good idea.”

“
Stuart,” I start to say, but he holds up his hand.

“With
Jace and me present,” Stuart says, his face turning back to Mindy. She quickly sees he’s very serious. “That work for you?”

Mindy looks up at Brenda, as we all do. She nods slightly and Mindy steps aside.

“I’ll be by later,” Mindy says, “I want to get it done before dinner time.”

“We’ll see,” Stuart says. “I’m going to speak with Melissa. Jon’s still out there.”

“I’ll accompany you,” Brenda says. “I’d like to hear what you have to say. Then you and I can sit down with our Head of Security here and have an even bigger conversation.”

“That works,” Stuart says.

“Does it now, Mr. Stuart?” Brenda asks as she descends from the watchtower. “How kind of you to acknowledge that.”

“Um, I’m going to have to veto that,” I say, pointing to the ragged wound on Stuart’s back. “Dr. McCormick will need to look at that first. That looks deep.”

“I’m fine,” Stuart says, “I’ve had worse.”

“Bullshit,” I say. “Well, sure, you may have had worse, but you aren’t fine. I know how much blood-”

“Thank you, Jason,” Stuart says. “The doctor lives by you so I’ll let you walk me there. Then I go straight to the Billings’ house.”

“After fetching us,” Brenda says
, “right, Mr. Stuart?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Stuart nods and walks off. “Coming
, Jace?”

I steer Elsbeth away from the crowd, dropping our clothes in
the fire bin by the watchtower, no need to decon those. I wait until we have crested the small hill and are turning towards Phase Two before I speak up.

“How did they know about the people?” I ask. “Did you fill them in when you got here?”

“No,” Stuart says, “glad you caught that. Wasn’t sure if maybe I misheard.”

“When have you ever misheard something?” I laugh.

He gives me a very weak smile and I realize just how badly he’s hurt. He’s completely naked and there’s quite a breeze blowing across the plateau, but his forehead is covered in sweat.

“Stuart? You need some help?”

He starts to wave me off, but I can see his legs shaking.

“Maybe.”

I get on one side and tell Elsbeth to get on the other. We are pretty much carrying him by the time we get to my house. Well, Elsbeth is carrying him. I’m more like hobbling next to him adding to the weight of the effort.

“Hey, babe,” I say as Stella opens the door.

Her eyes and attention don’t know where to go: me naked and wounded, Stuart nearly unconscious, wounded and naked, or Elsbeth and her scars, naked. But there’s a reason I married her long ago in a different world.

“Charlie!” she yells. My son comes running to the door. His eyes, of course, go straight to the naked woman. Stella snaps in front of his face. “Go get Dr. McCormick. Now.”

“Hey, Dad,” Charlie smiles and claps me on the shoulder as he runs past.

“Get him in on the couch,” Stella says. “Greta! I need a sheet!”

Greta peers over the second floor landing. “Mom, I’m drawing right now and the light is- Holy fuck knuckles!” Her head disappears and seconds later, she’s barreling down the stairs with a sheet. She hands it to Stella who covers the couch with it so Elsbeth and I can set Stuart down. “Hey, Dad.”

“Hey, sweetie,” I say.

“New girlfriend?” she grins.

“Gre
ta,” Stella warns. “Towels. Now. And put water on to boil.”

“Right,” Greta nods, not willing to argue with her mother.

“Thanks,” Stuart croaks. “Just a scratch. May need a stitch or two.” He drifts off.

Stella turns to me,
starts to reach for my face then pulls back, shakes her head, turns to Elsbeth and holds out her hand. “I’m Stella Stanford, Jace’s wife.”

“You’re Long Pork’s woman?” Elsbeth asks. She looks my wife up and down. “You look like you’re the boss.” She looks at me. “Is she the boss?”

“She’s the boss,” I smile. I look at Stella and the smile falls from my face. “Maybe Greta can show her to the bathroom so she can get cleaned up?”

“That’s a good idea,” Stella says. “Greta?”

“Fine,” Greta says as she hands Stella a stack of dishtowels. She sighs and looks at Elsbeth, her eyes studying the scars. “Come on, Queen Tut. I’ll show you where you can shower and pee.”

“Queen Tut?” Elsbeth asks, very confused.

“You know,” Greta says as she waves her hand at Elsbeth’s body. “All the hieroglyphs and shit.”

“Greta, be a good host,” Stella says
, “and be nice.”

“I’m always nice,” Gre
ta says, leading Elsbeth upstairs, “unless someone interrupts me when I’m drawing and the light is going away.”

“Thanks, G,” I smile. “Maybe grab some of Mom’s old clothes from the closet? They should fit Elsbeth.”

We wait until they are upstairs before speaking.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Stella says. “Really, Jace? Really?”