You're the One That I Want (16 page)

Was this some sort of vicious joke? Jenny squeezed her eyes shut as tight as they could go and tried to will Serena away.

"You'll get to keep some of the clothes," Serena added.

Jenny raised her head and stood up shakily. "Leave me alone," she murmured, then bolted out of the cafeteria to the nurse's office, where she planned to beg to be sent home.

d's little furry friends "Tooter, look at that!" Tiphany put the ferret on her shoulder and waved his paw up and down at Chuck Bass's little white monkey. The monkey was wearing a tiny red T-shirt with the letter S monogrammed on it. "Hey little monkey, wanna be my friend?"

Vanessa and Tiphany had come to pick Dan up from school. "Maybe not," Vanessa warned, knowing how much Dan hated Chuck's guts.

"Hey cutie, what's your name?" Chuck came over and scratched Tooter under the chin. He held his monkey up so the two animals were nose-to-nose. "I'm Sweetie. And don't worry, I don't bite. I really am sweet."

"I'm Tooter," Tiphany chirped in her version of a ferret voice. "And beware, I really can toot!" she added, cackling hilariously.

Dan pushed open the school doors and paused at the top of the steps. He hitched his black messenger bag onto his shoulder, squinting in the harsh April sunlight. All afternoon he'd been worrying about his little sister. Jenny was probably at home right now, facedown on her bed, all alone. His house was only twenty blocks away; maybe he ought to go up there and try to cheer her up. Then again, when Jenny was upset, all she wanted was to be alone, same as him. It ran in the family.

"Hey hot stuff, over here!" Tiphany shouted at him in her glass-shatteringly loud voice. Down on the sidewalk stood Vanessa, Tiphany, and Chuck Bass. Tiphany's ferret unit Chuck's monkey were perched on their owners' shoulders grooming each other.

"Christ," Dan muttered. Maybe Chuck would move in with them, too, and they could all be one big, happy family Or maybe he'd just tell Vanessa right now that he was going to stay at home for a while. His sister needed him.

"May we escort you home?" Vanessa stepped away from the group as Dan came down the stairs with a sour expres-sion on his face. She kissed him quickly on the cheek. "Hoy pumpkin, don't look so pissed off all the time." Dan had been acting pissed off and withdrawn ever since they'd moved in together and Tiphany had turned up. It was getting a little tir-ing always having to be the upbeat one in the relationship.

Pumpkin? In only a matter of days Vanessa had picked up Tiphany's over-the-top, cheery way of talking, annoying Dan even more. "I'm not pissed off," he grumbled, glaring at Chuck and Tiphany, who were bonding over their pets. "I'm just--"

Tiphany pointed her index fingers at him, like twin pistols, and pretended to shoot. "You know, Danny boy, I think what your little sister did was totally rad. Baring your tits is the boldest feminist statement a gal can make!" She'd braided the front of her hair and left the back in a sort of crazy purple-and-black rat's nest, which she probably thought was some big feminist statement, too.

Vanessa had tried not to look a moment ago when Chuck showed Tiphany the picture of Jenny, but she couldn't help herself. And the funny thing was, she actually agreed with Tiphany. Jenny may not have looked like a model, but she definitely looked bold.

"I think so, too," she agreed before she saw the look on Dan's face.

"She didn't bare anything," Dan told them angrily. "Jesus, she's only fourteen."

"Hey, that reminds me," Vanessa said, eager to change the subject. "In case you forgot, it's my birthday this weekend. I'm gonna be eighteen!"

Dan frowned. He and Vanessa had never made a big deal out of their birthdays before.

"And I was thinking, now that we're living together, we could have a party!" Vanessa continued.

Dan noticed there was a sort of purple glow to her hair that he hadn't seen before. "A party?" Vanessa had always hated parties. This definitely had to be Tiphany's idea.

"It's gonna be rad!" Tiphany shouted. She grabbed Tooter's paw and pointed it at Chuck's monkey. "You're coming, right?" she asked in her stupid ferret voice.

"Most definitely," Chuck chattered like a monkey.

Fucking hell.

"Come on." Vanessa pulled Dan toward Broadway. It was another sunny day and a steady stream of boys were making their way west toward the park. "First I want to do a few more interviews. Then we can go home and send e-vites." "But--"

"Don't worry about your sister," Vanessa countered, read-ing his mind. "She's more together than you think." She kissed him, trying to bring a smile to his sullen lips. "Our first real party!"

Dan let her pull him away, following along with leaden feet. He hated parties, and besides, they had no other friends. In total the guest list would consist of Chuck, Tiphany, Chuck's monkey, Tooter, and Dan's social pariah of a sister, Jenny. Some party.

Vanessa poked him in the ribs. "Come on, smile. You know you want to."

"If you don't smile, I'm going to flash my tits at you," Tiphany threatened, skipping along the sidewalk beside them in her purple-and-black-plaid John Fluevog boots. She unzipped the camouflage-print army jacket she'd borrowed from Ruby's closet and tucked Tooter into her black tank top.

"Can I flash mine, too?" Chuck joined in. His monkey had wrapped its long, snowy white tail twice around his neck. Wearing his West Point military beret, he and Tiphany sort of matched.

Dan gritted his teeth and smiled weakly just to shut them up.

"He smiled!" Vanessa and Tiphany shouted gleefully, and slapped each other five.

Here's what Dan was really thinking as he continued to smile: Evergreen College was way across the continent in the Pacific Northwest, where it rained a lot and people were depressed. He'd never seriously considered going there, but it was beginning to seem like paradise.

n bares his... soul

Central Park was the usual sunny afternoon mob scene of Rollerbladers, skateboarders, Frisbee throwers, and girls in bikini tops pretending they were on the beach in St. Tropez.

Vanessa set up her camera in her usual spot by Bethesda Fountain. Tiphany pulled Tooter out of her shirt and began to bathe him in the water. Dan hung back and bought one of those huge imitation ice cream cones from a vendor on the promenade. Then he sat down on a park bench to wait for Vanessa, praying Tiphany would leave him be.

"So I think I might be happy up at West Point," Chuck confided to Vanessa's camera. "As long as I can find some-one to keep Sweetie nearby so I can visit her. And they don't make me shave my head--no offense. And I get a big-ger bed than those dinky cots they make those poor losers sleep on."

Looks like he's in for a rude awakening.

"Mom promised to set me up an account at Balducci's so they'll send me a box with brie and caviar and chocolate and cigars once a week," he added. "I'll miss my apartment, but it's better than nothing. . . ." His voice trailed off, and he stuck his face into the ruff of white fur on Sweetie's neck. "West Point," he said, his voice muffled. "West fucking Point!"

All of a sudden Nate Archibald appeared beside him and Chuck looked up, grinning his obnoxious grin, like he hadn't almost just burst into tears. "I'm done if you want to go next," he said, clearly unwilling to bare his soul in front of another guy. He stood up and carried his monkey over to where Tiphany was bathing Tooter. "Can I help?" he twit-tered in his monkey voice.

Nate shoved his hands in his khaki pants pockets and shifted from foot to foot. Then he sat down in Chuck's place.

"I guess I really screwed up," he admitted to the camera. "I mean, my girlfriend's life is, like, a train wreck and I can't even call her." His green eyes looked sad as he watched Tiphany rinse Tooter off in the stream of water cascading from the fountain.

"Did you decide which college you want to go to yet?" Vanessa prompted. She didn't mind hearing about this guy's love life, but the film was supposed to be about getting into college.

Nate frowned. "That's just the thing," he explained. "Yale. I want to go to Yale now." He shook his head and grinned unhappily down at the ground. "No way am I going to Brown. And the other schools' lax teams just aren't as good. But if I go to Yale and Blair doesn't get off the wait-list . . ." He leaned back on his elbows and squinted up at the sky. "I know she was the one who said it, but I guess I believed it, too--that we'd always wind up married." He sat up again, took off his frayed maroon St. Jude's baseball cap and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Now I don't know."

Tiphany carried Tooter over to Vanessa and pressed his cold, wet body against the back of her neck.

"Eee!" Vanessa screamed, nearly dropping her camera. Then she and Tiphany burst into a fit of hysterical cackling.

Nate stood up, still deep in thought as he ambled away.

Over on his park bench Dan tossed his ice cream in the trash and lit a cigarette. It was weird, but he and Nate were almost thinking the same thing. He'd always thought he and Vanessa would be together forever. Now he wasn't so sure. gossipgirl.co.uk

topics previous next post a question reply Disclaimer: All the real names of places, people, and events have been altered or abbreviated to protect the innocent. Namely, me.

HEY, PEOPLE!

Glinda the good witch

Okay, so everyone wants a fairy godmother. Well, a young buxom girl who hails from the Upper West Side and may or may not make the most embarrassing mistakes of her life on a weekly basis just happens to have one in the form of a tall, blond, beautiful senior. As we all know, S is the master of turning infamy into magic. Don't look now, but J could just be the next Jessica Simpson! Or better yet, the next S ...

Strange company

One of the reasons most of us can't wait to go to college next year, no matter where we got in, is because we get to live on our own--without parents or nannies or housekeepers or bodyguards or anyone watch-ing over us. Even if some of us have our own wings or floors, or even * our own kitchens or whatever at home, the point is, we want out. Unless, that is, you're already out of the house--like someone we know--and it's not working out because of certain uninvited guests ...

The truth about Liberty or Lolita or whatever she's calling herself these days

I'll tell you what I heard. That ferret-toting girl with the oddly braided purple-and-black hair? She used to be a nice girl. By that I mean she went to a good private girls' school on the Upper East Side, lived in a town house, and played tennis. Senior year she decided to rebel, "forgot" to apply to college, dropped out of school, got disowned from her fami-ly, and started wandering the country giving piercings to make money.

Whenever she runs out of cash, she always comes back to town to mooch off her old friends and steal their clothes. And she's always so cheerful about it all, it usually takes a while for people to catch on.

Your e-mail

Dear GG,

I'm the chief of obstetrics and gynecology at Lenox Hill Hospital in the birth-and-delivery unit. I happened to be on the premises when a laboring woman was rushed in, escorted by her teenage daughter. Only minutes later I was called away on another emer-gency, but I was so impressed with the way the daughter was coaching her mother, I wanted to find out her name so I could recommend her to Yale's premed program, which is where I went. The mother was registered under the name Rose, but I can't find the daughter anywhere. Can you help?

--drpepper

Dear drpepper,

I think someone's day--no, life--is about to be made.

--GG

Dear GG,

Don't you think it's kind of rude to, like, join a really exclusive sis-terhood that really means something to the other members, and then, like, totally never even call the people or anything again? I mean, why join in the first place?

--myowngrl

Dear myowngrl,

Didn't you ever do anything you regretted?

--GG

Sightings

B walking through Sheep Meadow wearing a Burberry print Snugli,

her new baby sister all tucked up inside. Looks like B's discovered her soft and furry side. S and a very famous fashion photographer choos-ing apparel in

Jeffrey for a shoot. There was a certain crystal-studded bustier that S simply does not have the goods for. Either she's planning on getting implants, they're using falsies, or the bustier's for another girl.... N checking out the sterling silver baby gifts in Tiffany & Co. Ho can buy me a rattle anytime. V and that black-and-purple-haired girl in a conga line with C and his monkey at the Five and Dime in Williamsburg. No comment. And where was D? No comment.

Only one more day till the weekend, and I'm already hearing rumors about a party.

You know you love me,

gossip girl show-and-tell

"This is Yale in the baby blanket I got her at Hermes. And this is her and Kitty Minky watching Breakfast at Tiffany's with me in the rocking chair. See, she even has on kitten socks with tiny ears and whiskers!"

Friday senior homeroom was the sacred half hour during which the Constance Billard seniors sat on the floor in the senior lounge--a tiny, empty fifth-floor classroom--drinking cappuccinos, trading gossip, and exchanging personal opin-ions about their new clothing purchases. This Friday was Blair's first day back at school since The Baby, so the half hour was given over to show-and-tell.

"And here she is sleeping in her little Moses basket."

"Aw," thirty girls chorused together.

"And where did she get that fantastic silver cow-jumping-over-the-moon mobile?" Laura Salmon demanded.

"It's from Tiffany. It was a gift."

From Nate, Serena added silently from where she sat on the outer edge of the group. Nate had even called her from Tiffany so she could help him pick something out.

"The basket she's sleeping in is so precious," added Isabel Coates. "I love the way the pink ribbon is woven into the handles."

Thanks, Serena thought to herself. She'd ordered tin basket from a baby boutique in southern France and had it flown over especially. "It was hand woven by Alsatian monks from the branches of willow trees," Serena blurted out. "It's supposed to stay in the family and become an heirloom."