Read You're the One I Want Online
Authors: Shane Allison
“You need to stay away from that woman. Tangela is nothing but trouble, just like her mama.”
I pulled open one of the drawers of the bathroom counter and took out a Band-Aid. I tore off the paper, peeled off the plastic tabs from the adhesive, and stuck the bandage over the damaged area where Tangela had stuck me.
“I'm going to cut that blackmailing bitch off at the knees when I get Bree and the tape.” I scrolled through my cell phone until I got to Bree's number.
“Hello?” Bree answered.
“Hey, it's me, Deanthony.”
“Why the hell are you calling me? Kashawn is in the kitchen.”
“Hold on, Bree, don't hang up. I called because I wanted to apologize for what I said to you on the phone the other day.”
“You freaked me out with that shit.”
“And that wasn't my intention. Why don't you let me make it up to you?”
“It's fine. Apology accepted.”
“Let me take you out for a drink.”
“I can't. You know that.”
“Bree, it's drinks, just two friends hanging out, strictly platonic.”
Silence breached our words.
“Hello?”
“I'm here.”
“So how about it? Drinks at the Mockingbird?”
“One drink,” Bree said.
“How does seven o' clock sound?”
“Whatever,” Bree said coldly, “I need to talk to you about something anyway.”
“About what? What's going on?”
“I can't talk about it over the phone, but we'll talk tonight.” Bree hung up the phone before I could say anything.
I called Tangela to let her know what was up. “It's a go. We're meeting up for drinks tonight at The Mockingbird at seven.”
“Good boy,” Tangela said in an annoying patronizing tone. “I told you that you could do anything you put that dirty mind of yours to.”
“What are you about to do now?”
“Call her to find out if Kashawn's going to be home so I can put Plan B into action.”
“You need to tell me what the hell you're planning so we can be on the same page.”
“I don't have to do shit but stay black and pretty, motherfucker.
You just do what I tell you, and Bree could be back in those big, brawny arms of yours faster than you can say cuddle slut. Now let me remind you that if you fuck this up for me, I'll make sure that Bree and Kashawn get a copy of the tape.”
“You know what, bitch, there isn't going to be too many more of your empty threats.”
Tangela laughed. “Just don't forget what I have on you.”
“Fuck you!”
Tangela chuckled. “I'll be in touch.”
I
sat at a table in the middle of the club, sipping a dirty martini as I watched this stripper who looked like her ass was a hundred years old with droopy titties, chittlin' thighs, and crow's feet. I kept thinking,
where in the hell did they get grandma?
This bitch was so old, she probably knew Fredrick Douglass back in the day. I laughed my pretty girl ass off as the stuffed shirts in the place hissed and booed, begging the old bitch to actually put her clothes back on instead of taking off another stitch. I took cute sips of my dirty martini as I waited for them to bring on the next dancer. After about twenty agonizing minutes of watching this hag prance up and down the stage, it was finally over. Good-damn-thing, too, 'cause another second of that, I was going to jab my eyes out.
“Give it up for Ursula Starr!” the DJ announced.
None of these sleazy brothers clapped, and they hissed and booed even louder. This Ursula chick pathetically reached down to scrape the few singles that were thrown to her off the black stage. “Fuck every last one of y'all!” she yelled.
I laughed, thinking,
that's some sad-ass shit right there.
The DJ, some wigger with corn rolls, stood in front of a turntable mixing one rap song after the next. When he put on Trina's “Red Bottoms,” I wanted to get up out of my seat and shake my ass to that jam.
“That's my bitch right there,” I said to myself.
“All right, niggas, loosen your ties, get outcha seats, and grab your dicks, 'cause let me introduce you to Tallahassee's baddest bitch in the 8-5-0, Katiesha!”
It was her, the chick I had waited for, the bitch who hated Bree about as much as I did. Katiesha slinked out on stage, wearing a leopard-print two-piece, a blond wig that draped down her back, and black, red-bottom platforms. She had a pretty caramel complexion with round, brown titties and a thick booty. Now, I'm not saying that I'm gay or nothing, but if I was, I would probably holler, no lie.
So that's the infamous Katiesha?
The bitch had given Bree shit for years. Katiesha was who I was looking for, who would be instrumental in the next phase of my plan to break up Bree and Kashawn. The suits were making it rain with dollar bills as she wrapped herself seductively around the steel pole, grinding her pussy against it like it was a dick. She had these fools eating out of her hands, and would soon leave them with empty wallets and brick-hard dicks. I pulled a C-note out of my cleavage, walked slowly past these sex-thirsty men to the stage, and handed the money to Katiesha. All the eyes in the club were on me. These mutts were cheering like a bunch of pussy-hungry frat boys, like they wanted me to join Katiesha up on stage. Dirty fucks. When it comes to pussy, men will do anything, including sit and roll over. The way Katiesha made her ass jiggle and clap on stage, she had them drooling all over themselves.
I couldn't keep my eyes off her, the way she swung herself around the pole like some kind of exotic boa constrictor. She even had a bitch like me captivated by her talent. After her performance, she came out in the lounge area of the club, dressed in a red robe with lace trim on the sleeves and at the hem. The suits pulled at her like she was some famous porn star, all of them aching for a minute of her time, but she kept her light-brown eyes zeroed in on me, knowing, as well as I, that those fools were trifling and low-pro.
“How you doing tonight?” she asked.
“Sitting here, enjoying my drink and the sexy entertainment. I gotta tell you, ma, you were doing your thing up on the stage.”
“Thank you. Did you enjoy yourself?”
“Hell yeah. I love how you have these fools puffing and panting on you.”
“So what brings you out tonight?”
“I'm just out, seeing what kind of trouble I can get into.”
“I feel you,” Katiesha said. “So, umâ¦you want to go in back for a lap dance?”
“Lead the way, baby girl.”
Katiesha took me by the hand, leading me toward a back room at the rear of the club. The room was dimly lit with a red and black color scheme. The floor was blacker than the devil's asshole, and the walls and plush booth seats were as red as sin. Katiesha picked a private corner of the room where she sat me down.
“I just want to let you know before we get started that it's two-hundred bucks an hour.”
“Not a problem,” I told her.
I was willing to pay whatever it took to get Katiesha on my team, to do what I needed her to do. I plucked two hundred-dollar bills out of my silver clutch and handed them to her. She stuffed them seductively down into the leopard-print bra part of her bikini. I started to ask her where she purchased it from, but decided against it. Katiesha worked herself between my thighs, grinding her booty in my lap. If I had a dick, I would have been bone-hard that night.
“What do you think I could get for a thousand?”
Katiesha gyrated around slowly with a seductive expression on her face. “Pretty much anything you want, baby.” She gleamed. “What do you have in mind?”
“How about just talking?”
“Talk? Talk about what?”
“A mutual friend of ours.”
“I don't have any friends.”
“This bitch you would know. Bree Parker.”
As soon as I mentioned Bree's name, Katiesha gawked at me like it was a mortal sin to say Bree's name in her presence. “Who the fuck are you?” She spoke with venom in her voice.
“Someone who wants to see Bree get exactly what she deserves.”
Katiesha kept on dancing. “It's been a hot minute since I last heard that name. You still haven't told me who you are and what you want.”
“I have a proposition for you.”
“Is this some kind of joke? Did that bitch send you here to punk me?”
“Bree didn't send me. I'm an old roommate of hers. We lived together back when she was stripping here at the club.”
“Okay, and?”
“She always talked about how she couldn't stand you.”
“Well, the feeling was mutual. How is that stank pussy bitch anyway?”
“We can't talk here. Meet me in the parking lot after your shift is over, and I'll fill you in on everything. I drive a black Mustang. It's parked in the back of the parking lot.” I handed Katiesha a fifty-dollar bill to let her know that I wasn't fucking around. “And there's plenty more where that came from if you're interested.” I walked out of the back room, leaving Katiesha with her curiosity piqued.
It felt good to breathe in some fresh air, to get away from the stench of period pussy and cigarettes. I waited almost two hours for Katiesha before she made her way out of the club, but I would have waited all night if it meant I would get what I came for. She was dressed from tip to tail in a black jacket, a black corset, and a black mini that was so short, you could see her fallopian tubes. She
had on these eight-inch thigh-highs that I would have killed for. Black wavy weave came down over her shoulders.
Ho couture,
I thought. I unlocked the passenger-side door for Katiesha to get in.
“Damn, these boots are killin' me,” she said as she slid into the passenger seat.
“You know what they say: beauty is pain.”
“Shit. You ain't never lied.”
“You hungry? There's a Whataburger a block up the street. They have the best double cheeseburgers you ever want to sink your teeth into.”
Katiesha was skin and bones, like she hadn't eaten a month from Sunday. “You ain't weird or anything, are you? I'm not into that kinky shit.”
“I'm not weird, kinky, or crazy. I just want to do some business with you, that's all. Lady to lady.”
“I guess I can use a little something to eat, but can you stop me off to Walgreens to get some cigarettes?”
I started my car. “Whatever you need, ma.”
“B
aby, who was that?” Kashawn asked as he took me from behind, kissing along the nape of my neck.
“Umâ¦it was Tangela. She asked if I wanted to have a girl's night out tonight. I told her I would call her back and let her know for sure.” I felt terrible lying to Kashawn. I'd told so many lies to cover the truth, I had lost count. “I wouldn't object to spending a quiet Saturday night with my man.”
“Baby, I have so much work to catch up on here. You should go. It's better than sitting around the house.”
“Well, you want me to bring you some dinner home?”
“I'll probably order takeout. It's likely I will be burning the midnight oil tonight with all of these patient files.”
“So have you thought about this stuff with your biological father?”
“It's all I've thought about. I need to work right now to take my mind off things.”
“You know I'm here for you, no matter what you decide,” I said as I seductively roped my arms around Kashawn's torso.
“And I could use that support system right now.” Kashawn and I came together in a long kiss.
“Are you sure you want to stay cooped up in your study all night?” I asked, caressing the bulge in his pants I was responsible for causing.
“If I don't try to get some work done tonight, it will only pile up on me.”
I licked and kissed Kashawn's top lip. “How about I pile up on you instead?”
When I started for his zipper, he eased away. “Let's do this when I get from under all this paperwork, baby.”
“Are you sure you don't want a little taste before you head off to the office?”
“Hell no, I'm not sure,” he laughed, “but if I don't leave, I'm going to end up throwing you over this desk and fucking you gorilla style.”
“Where's the bad in that?”
“Damn, girl,” he said, looking back at me as he reached for the doorknob.
“Your loss.” I ran my index finger across my cleavage, something that would give Kashawn the initiative to do what he had to do, so he could fuck me stupid later.
F
or someone who was skin and bones, Katiesha had the appetite of a moose. She ordered just about everything off the menu. Two double cheeseburgers, two large orders of fries, a large root beer, and two pineapple pies. The fast-food greasy spoon was packed with college kid drunks from the bar across the street. I picked a booth seat in a corner where Katiesha and I could run our mouths. The smell of hot grease bit my senses. Katiesha not only finished off what she ordered, but ate half of what I had on my tray. It was like she was a bottomless pit the way she scarfed down burgers and fries. Damn, to be that skinny and not gain an ounce should be a damn crime.
“So what that ho up to these days?” Katiesha asked, stuffing fries into her mouth. “Didn't she get married to some hot-shot doctor?”
“Yeah, Dr. Kashawn Parker,” I said.
“I saw a picture of them in the paper. I wasn't feeling that ugly-ass wedding dress she wore. Who is she fooling, wearing white like she's some virgin princess? Bougie bitch. Bree always did think she was better than everybody.”
I swirled my straw around in my sweet tea. “More than ever now that she got a ring on it,” I added.
“Hell, that doesn't mean nothing. She stoops over and shits like the rest of us.”