Young Truths (Young Series) (35 page)

My entire body heats up with a blush as I remember he’s right. That night, I’d felt so hurt and rejected by Matthew after he kissed me in his office then pushed away from me in disgust of his actions, and mine, and disappeared. I’d gone to Tom in need for revenge and to feel loved. It was a horrible thing to do to both Matthew and Tom, and I still regret it. Now more than ever. “Maybe not,” I agree, “but she’s Matt’s daughter. I’m sorry, but that’s the way it is.”

“Can I see her?” he asks stiffly.

I’m not sure that’s the best idea and my hesitance answers his question for me.

“No. Right. Yeah, I can’t imagine Young liking that too much,” he grumbles. “How’s Tyler?”

Easy subject. Good. “He’s great,” I say truthfully, smiling. “He’s gotten so big and smart. He loves having a baby sister, even though he thought she was defective and we should take her back to the hospital to get her fixed.” Tom snorts a laugh. I hesitate. “He’s asked about you a couple times. I think he misses you.”

“I miss him,” Tom says quietly. “And you.”

I sigh. “I miss you, too,” I whisper. “Tom, I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“Yeah, I know,” he says resignedly. “You know wha
t pisses me off the most? The second I pulled into the driveway and saw his car, I knew that was the beginning of the end for us and before it was over, I’d lose you and Tyler. And as many times as I tried to tell you, you just dismissed everything I had to say on the subject.”

This was the part of the conversation I’ve been dreading. “Tom, I never dismissed you. What you didn’t seem to understand was that Matthew was there to protect us. He wasn’t trying to come between you and me. The only reason he was able to was because you went into that bar and started talking to people—”

“I didn’t talk to anybody,” he interrupts. “No one like Young thinks, at least. The guy I talked to wasn’t a foreigner; he was a local. He even owned a business in town. He was the one who started talking about Young, said he was a friend of his and Leo’s. I don’t know who the fuck called Young, but this guy already knew all about him before I even sat down.”

The world seems to slow down around me as Tom’s words sink in. “Who were you talking to at the bar, Tom?” I ask, my voice sounding faint to my own ears.

I can see him staring at me in surprise, clearly wondering why I’m changing the subject. “I didn’t catch his name,” he tells me. “Samantha, that’s not the point.”

Shaking myself, I try not to make connections that don’t exist. At least not until I have more information. “You’re right, it’s not,” I say wearily. “But as far as he was
concerned, you sold us out to the enemy, and Matt takes my and Tyler’s protection very seriously. Thanks to whatever happened in that bar, someone broke into Claire’s house and went through my things. No one was supposed to know Tyler and I were with Claire.”

“I don’t know anything about that,” he says
emphatically. “Samantha, I swear, my only intention was keeping you safe. I remember with perfect clarity what you were like when you first left Young and came to me. You were wrecked and I had to watch you waste away in front of me. I had no idea what was going on with you. I didn’t know if you were in trouble or if somebody had died. All I knew was you could barely function or take care of your son. And when you finally started talking to me...” He shakes his head.

“You know how many people told me to get you a flight back to your dad’s and just wipe my hands of
you altogether? I never even considered it. You’d come to me for help and for once, you needed me. Samantha, you’re all I ever wanted and there you were.
Finally.
Maybe you weren’t the same girl I’d grown up with, but I knew with time, you’d recover. And I had all these thoughts about us. Things I’d been thinking about since we were kids. I loved you, Samantha. I’ve always loved you and I really thought we had a future together. The only time I started thinking otherwise was when Young showed up again.”

I’m trying to think of something to say, to somehow make this up to him, even though I know there’s nothing I can do.

“Just tell me this... Was it always him? Was there ever a chance for me or would I always have been the shitty substitute?”

“Tom...” I say uncertainly. What can I say that won’t leave me sounding like a massive bitch? Maybe that’s what he needs as closure. “You did so much for me and Tyler, and I will always love you for that—”

“But you’re not in love with me,” he concludes sadly. “You never were.”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, my eyes filling with tears. “Tom, I’m so sorry.”

He takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I can understand that,” he says eventually. “He’s the one who does it for you. The one you’ll do anything to be with. The only one you could ever be happy with.” He pauses, then whispers, “Are you happy?”

I nod. “Yes,” I whisper, smiling. “I really am.”

Smiling tightly, he nods. “I thought as much. You’re glowing. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this. It’s nice. I’m glad for you.”

I can’t tell if he’s being completely sincere or not, but I reach over and take his hand, squeezing his fingers. “Thank you,” I whisper.

After a few, silent minutes, Tom sighs. “I should get going,” he says reluctantly.

My brow furrows. “You’re not going to stay for the party?”

He smiles genuinely for the first time. “I appreciate the invite, but between Jimmy and Young, I doubt I’d be overly welcome.” Frowning, I open my mouth to reply, but he stops me. “I only came to talk to you, anyway, and I wasn’t sure if I’d even be able to do that.” He stands, turning to face me. “That guy from the bar... I probably should have said something then, but I was a little distracted and Young didn’t seem all that eager to get my side of things—I know he thinks I’m a small town hick farm boy, but I’m not stupid. I did get a bad vibe from that guy. He was pretty obsessed with Young and when I slipped and mentioned you, he got even more interested—”

“Say no more,” I interrupt, now absolutely certain to whom Tom was talking in the bar. “I know who you’re talking about and yeah, he gives off a rather creepy aura. It’s a long story, but Matthew and I are frighteningly familiar with him. You haven’t been contacted since, have you?”

Tom’s brow furrows as he thinks. “I don’t think so,” he says slowly.

“Well, if you remember anything, let me know?” I say, hoping I’m not pushing my luck.

“Yeah, of course,” he says immediately. “But I should go now; you’re husband is watching us.”

I glance over towards the other side of the porch to find Matthew and Jimmy talking quietly at the grill, Matthew’s eyes darting over to me every so often to make sure I’m okay. “Right...
” I turn back to Tom, taking a deep breath before speaking. “Tom, I know I’ve hurt you and I’ll understand if you want nothing more to do with me, but if you want, I’d like us to still be friends. I do miss you.”

He gasps inaudibly. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he says softly. “Am I allowed to hug you or—”

Knowing immediately my husband is watching my every move, I close the distance between Tom and me, wrapping my arms around his waist. “Take care of yourself,” I whisper as his arms encircle me.

“Yeah, you too,” he whispers back, breaking our embrace. “And tell Tyler I’m sorry I couldn’t stay long
enough to see him.”

“I will.” Hugging myself, I watch as he turns around, shoving his hands into his jeans pockets, and leaves. Almost the moment his car disappears, I feel Matthew standing beside me.

“Are you okay?” he asks, sliding an arm around my shoulders.

I nod slightly. “Yeah, I think so
,” I say, still staring at where Tom’s car had been.

He sighs. “Let’s go for a walk,” he declares suddenly. I look at him
, frowning in suspicion. “Come on, just you and me. It’ll be nice.”

“I should probably get back to Olivia,” I argue.

He rolls his eyes, taking the hand that had been holding Tom’s a few minutes before. “Olivia is fine. Walk with me.”

Resignedly, I agree and we head down through the lawn away from the noise of the party towards a grouping of trees that hides the stream. I used to come out here when I was young
er to get away from my family and to just be alone with my thoughts. The first time Matthew visited, I brought him here and we spent most of the night on the ground, his jacket beneath us, talking. That had been a great night and I love that he’s bringing me out here again.

We don’t speak until we reach the stream and take our usual spot on a rock I always thought resembled a couch. A very uncomfortable couch, but a couch nonetheless. He grins as he removes his jacke
t and spreads it out on the surface, gesturing for me to sit before he does. For a few minutes we just sit together, looking up through the gap in the trees at the smattering of stars in the sky and I feel a sense of peacefulness wash over me.

“How’d it go?” he murmurs against my temple.

I sigh. “Better than I expected,” I reply truthfully. “He doesn’t seem to hate me, at least.”

“If he did, he’s more of an idiot than I ever gave him credit for,” he informs me. “I actually kind of feel bad for the guy.”

I pull away, turning to look at him in surprise. “What? Why?”

He smiles very slightly. “Because I know what it’s like to be hopelessly in love with you, yet unable to hold onto you.” Before I can properly get myself into a guilt trip, he speaks again. “You’re a difficult woman to get over, Sam, and I am ridiculously lucky to have somehow managed to get you back. I’m not saying Saunders and I will ever be b
est friends, but I can sympathize with how he feels.”

Sliding closer, I rest my head against his shoulder again. I never know what to say when this topic comes up. I’ve apologized a hundred times for leaving, Matthew has apologized for
letting
me leave, and we’re better off now than we ever were before. We don’t take each other or our relationship for granted, and it feels wonderful to know we’re both on the same page about the need to appreciate every second we have together.

“Did he ask about Olivia?” Matthew whispers so quietly I wonder whether he actually wants
me to hear it.

“Yes,” I whisper back.

I feel him nod. “Can’t blame him for that,” he says reluctantly. “I’d want to know, too.”

“I don’t think he believes Olivia is your daughter.”

He stiffens. “Well, that’s just too fucking bad, isn’t it?” he says tightly. “I know she’s mine. You know she’s mine. That’s all that matters, right?”

I don’t reply, uncertain if that
is
all that matters. All Tom needs is slight doubt and he’ll shake up our lives even more than it’s already been shaken. From the moment I found out I was pregnant with Olivia, I never doubted Matthew being her father. He did, briefly, but my certainty was enough for both of us. Now with Tom questioning it, it’s only a matter of time before Matthew or I question it as well. And it would devastate me for my husband to think Olivia is someone else’s. What would that do to our relationship?

“Did I ever tell you about the time I came out here to visit your dad?” he asks quietly. My brow furrows and I shake my head. He gives me a smile. “Yeah. Remember that business trip I went on right before I proposed? I took a slight detour before reaching my final destination.”

“Why would you come visit my dad without me?” I ask him cluelessly.

I can feel his smirk against my temple. “Well, if memory serves, you and I weren’t exactly speaking at the time
, and I think you had some doubts about the future of our relationship—apparently, I was shit at making sure you knew what you meant to me. I always knew what I wanted when it came to you and I was reasonably sure you wanted the same, even though we never actually discussed it. That fight we had before I left was my fault. I just assumed you knew where our relationship was headed and when you asked me how long it would be before I got bored and left, I panicked. I thought maybe that was your way of telling me
you
wanted to leave, but you were too nervous to come right out and say it.

“Before I even got to the airport to leave, I knew what needed to happen. I made some adjustments to the flight plan, got here, rented a car, and came to talk to your father. He knew why I was there the moment he opened the door and didn’t see you with me, but he never let on; he just let me get out what I needed to say, which was asking for his blessing to marry you. I’ve never been so nervous in my life than
when I was sitting in your dad’s kitchen, sipping a beer, and trying to hold his gaze while we talked. I promised him I’d always take care of you and love you, and that I’d never hurt you. He stopped me there, telling me the not hurting you bit was bullshit, because all couples hurt each other at some point. Maybe not deliberately, but it does happen. He told me a little about his marriage to your mother and how difficult it was to come to terms with losing her.” He pauses, swallowing hard.

“That got me thinking about what it would be like if I were to lose you, whether by death or something I did. We talked a little about the fight you and I had before I left and I thought he was going rip me a new asshole. He didn’t, though; he just wanted to know that I would fix th
ings between us and never let you doubt what you mean to me. He told me how relieved he’d been to see the change in you after we met and he thanked me, Samantha. Actually thanked me for bringing you back from what you’d been after your mother died.”