Young Truths (Young Series) (20 page)

After a few minutes, Samantha and her friend pay their bill, and Samantha gently, sweetly wipes Tyler’s face of the mess he’s made. I smile softly at the sight. Once he’s clean, Samantha picks him up and they head down the street somewhere. I’m tempted to follow them, but I know the longer I do, the more difficult it will be to keep my distance.

I did what I came to do. I saw them. They are as okay as they can be under the circumstances. Two years have passed, after all; perhaps it’s time I move on myself. Even with that thought in my head, I know this visit will not be the last. I will end up back in Omaha at some point, watching my family from afar and wishing desperately things were different.

For the first time ever, I’m completely alone with my daughter. Everyone else has gone for dinner or a nap and at first, I was nervous about them leaving. The last time I was in the hospital, I was alone. Matthew was in Germany. Claire was taking care of her family and my son. I had Mark, but not before Natalie decided to pay me a late night visit. Not only that, I was facing the potential end of my relationship because of a doctored video of my then-fiancé and his ex having their own afternoon delight in his office at work. I still haven’t quite come to terms with what I saw on that video. I know it was in the past and I know she means less than nothing to him now, particularly after her betrayal of his trust, but I can’t deny how much it still hurts to know he was with somebody in that way after I left.

I shake myself from my thoughts, focusing only on my baby girl fast asleep in the little crib beside my bed. She is the result of my first night with Matthew in five years, the result of a love that runs so deeply that it will never fade completely no matter what happens. We’ve proven to each other time and time again that we belong together and if we trust one another and don’t allow the world to get between us, we can get through this and beat this thing. Whatever
this thing
might be.

“Knock, knock,” comes a soft voice from the door.

I smile, rolling over enough that Mark can see I’m not asleep. “I was wondering if you’d find it in your busy schedule to come see us,” I tease quietly, not wanting to risk my daughter waking up. This is the longest she’s slept so far and I intend to encourage this behavior as much as I can.

Mark chuckles, entering the room. “Sorry. I’ve been a little busy today. How are you feeling?”

“Good,” I tell him. “Really good, thank you.”

“And this must be your daughter...” He goes around my bed to get a better look at Olivia. “Samantha, she’s beautiful. But I’m sure everyone’s been saying that.”

“They have, but I never tire of hearing it. How’s Bonnie?”

His gaze darts to me and for a moment he looks confused at my question. “She’s fine,” he says with a small apologetic smile. “Last couple days have been pretty restless for me. I’m overdue for about eighteen hours of sleep.” He walks back to my other side and takes a seat beside me. “Bonnie’s okay. Her treatments are starting to take a bit of a toll on her, though; she hasn’t exactly been herself.”

I nod, looking down at my hands. I don’t need to ask him what he means by that; I saw enough with my mother’s illness to know precisely what Bonnie is going through right now. Still, no one has actually come right out and told me what’s wrong with her. Again, I don’t need them to. I already know. And I wish I didn’t.

“Hey,” Mark says, reaching over for my hand. “Bonnie’s a tough old broad; she’s not going to let this beat her before she’s ready.”

I give him a tight smile, patting his hand gently. “I know,” I tell him, subtly pulling my hand from his. I remember in very great detail the last time Mark and I were holding hands in a hospital room and Matthew walked in unannounced. Something passes through Mark’s eyes, but it’s gone quickly and he’s smiling again. “Anyway, when’s Jessica coming back? I bet you’re missing her.”

He stares at me for a moment before looking away sadly. “She’ll be back next week. And yes, I’m missing her.”

There’s something he’s not telling me. “Mark, what’s wrong?” I ask when I realize he isn’t going to elaborate.

Running a hand through his short, curly hair. “One of the reasons I haven’t been sleeping is because Jessica has decided she wants a break from our relationship,” he says resignedly. “Apparently, we’re moving a bit too quickly for her tastes. When she told me, I blurted out that I wanted to marry her and she said she wasn’t looking for marriage so soon in a relationship.”

“I’m so sorry,” I say genuinely. I thought Mark and Jessica would be in it for the long haul, particularly after witnessing how incredible they were together on Thanksgiving. “Maybe if you just give her some time she’ll change her mind.”

He shrugs. “I’m not sure about that, but I appreciate you saying it. This might be a little odd, but I’ve been thinking a lot about what you told me about how you and Matt met. How you only knew each other a short time before you were inseparable. I thought I had that with Jessica, but...”

“Matt and I were a fluke,” I tell him honestly. “The day I met him, I wasn’t even supposed to work. One of the other waitresses was sick and asked me to cover for her. If she hadn’t asked or if Matt and his friend had decided to stop for food a little later than they did, I wouldn’t know him.”

“Sounds like fate,” Mark comments softly. “Or a miracle.” I smile in response, looking back over at my daughter. “Speaking of your dear husband, I figured he’d be here with you.”

“He’s spending the day with Tyler,” I explain. “We thought that with the new baby it would be important to make sure he doesn’t feel left out.”

Mark nods. “Good call,” he says approvingly. “It’s not easy going from an only child and getting all the attention from their parents to having to share.”

My eyebrows rise. “You seem to speak from experience. I didn’t know you have siblings.”

“One sibling,” he clarifies. “A sister. Well, half-sister to be more precise. My mom met her dad a couple years after my dad died. I was around Tyler’s age when she was born and I wasn’t particularly pleased about it. Her dad is an asshole and only put up with me because of my mother.”

“That’s terrible,” I say. “Are you close to her?”

“Not really when we were kids, but since she moved out of my parents’ house, she sort of bridged the gap and we’ve started to get to know each other. She’s a sweet kid; I think you’d like her. A couple years ago, she got burned by this guy she’d been seeing. That was pretty rough on her. She kind of threw herself into work after that, and she’s done pretty well for herself. I don’t see her as much as I’d like, but...” He shrugs again. “Anyway, I think if my mom had made the effort to make me feel included, my sister and I might have been closer much sooner. As it is, I spent most of my formative years resenting her for taking my mother from me.”

“At least you’ve got her now,” I say rather lamely. I can’t imagine being in that position, having just lost a parent while my only remaining one moves on with somebody else. Or having to watch that remaining parent shower love and affection on a new child.

Mark smiles a little. “Yeah, I do,” he says quietly. “What about you? Are you close with your siblings?”

I shrug. “It goes in phases. We were all pretty close when we were young, before I left to be with Matt. Since my dad died a few years back, my older brother has kind of taken over that fatherly role. And he’s overprotective at the best of times. He hated Matt for so long.” I grin rather fondly at the thought. “And my younger sister... She decides every other day what she wants to do with her life. Lately, she’s decided she’s determined to be an actress, but between you and me, the girl couldn’t act her way out of a paper bag. Still, she’s got goals and I’m glad for that. Now if you want to see a really close sibling relationship—Claire and Matthew. They could argue all day, but they adore each other. Good luck getting them to admit it, though.”

Mark chuckles softly. “Do you think Tyler and the baby will be close?”

“I hope so. I think once he grows used to the idea of having her around, he’ll love being a big brother, and he’ll be great at it, too.”

“I’m sure he will be.”

Beside me, Olivia begins fussing and I realize she’s probably hungry again. I start to get myself out of bed to pick her up, but Mark beats me to it. He reaches down for her, shushing her when she fusses louder, and hands her to me. “Thank you,” I say quietly. It’s a moment or two before I realize there’s no reasonable way to do this without flashing Mark.

He seems to recognize my predicament at the same time. Clearing his throat, he shuffles a little uncomfortably on his feet. “I’ll, um, give you two some privacy,” he says, smiling tightly. “And I’ll come see you again before you go home.”

When he leaves, I roll my eyes at myself. He’s a doctor for God’s sake; I’m sure this wouldn’t be the first time he’s seen a breast. Of course I’m well aware that our relationship is more than a simple doctor/patient one, so it’s probably best that he left. I wouldn’t want to see Matthew’s reaction to that...

While Olivia does her thing, I allow my mind to wander, curious as to how Matthew and Tyler are doing on their day out. They’re probably stuffing their faces with all sorts of junk food that I’d never allow them to have before dinner. Then they’ll go home and play videogames until long past Tyler’s bedtime. Whatever they’re doing, I’m glad they’re doing it together. Matthew doesn’t have to say it out loud, but I know he worries about being a good father, not only to Tyler, but to Olivia as well. He lost so much time with his son, time that he’s been making up for over the last several months. He’s a great dad, just as I always knew he would be. He’s attentive and affectionate, and has no qualms about pushing his work aside for playtime. He’s Tyler’s teacher and his best friend; I can’t wait until Olivia and I go home so he can start making memories with her.

I’ve had to remind myself a couple times since giving birth to my daughter that the nursery Matthew so painstakingly put together for her isn’t where she’ll be sleeping. I was looking forward to sitting in the rocking chair beside the window for late night feedings and watching her sleep in her crib and later, playing on the plush-carpeted floor. It occurs to me only now that we haven’t actually done much to prepare the apartment for our baby’s arrival. I suppose we’ve been preoccupied with everything else going on around us. Matthew will probably have it all figured out by the time we leave. He seems to have a knack for thinking of the details no one else remembers.

Looking down, I smile at the black head of hair on my daughter. It really will resemble her father’s and I really do pity her when she reaches her teenage years. I’ve seen pictures of Matthew when he was fifteen or sixteen when he was trying to look cool with long hair. He failed miserably, only achieving the impression of a chia pet. Or like he was struck by lightning. I teased him for months after seeing those pictures about how afros did not look good on him. Tyler is going to end up the same way. My poor children...

Only a year ago, I never would have foreseen where I am right now. Watching my daughter close her eyes, I can’t imagine being anywhere else.

I wake up from a nap and find Olivia fast asleep, her cheek resting against my still exposed breast. A glance at the clock tells me I’ve only been out for about half an hour, which leaves me hoping nobody has come to check on me in that time. As quickly as I can, without jostling my daughter too much, I lower my shirt. My timing is perfect; the moment I get us adjusted and comfortable again, there’s a soft knock on the door. I wonder briefly whether Mark has come back to finish our chat. He seemed so down about Jessica despite the cheery, carefree façade he projected. The discussion about his sister was interesting. I try to remember whether he’s ever talked about her before, but I think he’s only ever mentioned his mother. There was a point after my mother died where my siblings and I thought our father might start dating again. One of the waitresses at Chet’s, Doris. I liked her enough until I realized she was interested in him; after that, I started giving her the cold shoulder. It might have been unfair to both of them, but the thought of my father with anybody else was nauseating at the time.

Shaking myself from my thoughts, I look over as the door is pushed open and Bonnie pokes her head through, smiling when she sees I’m awake. She looks rough; her skin is gray and seems to just hang off of her. I remember this stage of the illness... It’s one of the last stages.

“Am I interrupting?” she asks, crossing the room carrying a pink gift bag.

I smile back. “No, not at all,” I say quietly. “She fell asleep eating.”

Bonnie chuckles and sits down beside me. “Just like her daddy,” she teases.

I laugh, remembering one of the many evenings Bonnie had demanded we come to her home for dinner. Matthew had been working ridiculous hours at work and probably hadn’t slept more than eight hours in a week and a half. By the time we realized he was asleep, his head had slipped off his hand and into his mashed potatoes. I’ve still got the pictures somewhere. I really should find them; they’re incredible blackmail material. “Would you like to hold her?” I ask.

Bonnie beams at me. “Thought you’d never ask,” she replies, standing up to take Olivia into her arms before sitting again. “You know, I think the last baby I held was Tyler. Fitting that I’m doing this now.”

My smile is slightly sad as I wonder whether she’ll ever hold another, but I know better than to say anything. “She likes you,” I say instead. Olivia’s eyes are open again and she’s looking right at Bonnie without the slightest movement.