You Are Mine (9 page)

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Authors: Jackie Ashenden

BOOK: You Are Mine
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As she turned away, she caught a glimpse of her own reflection in the window and her heart missed a beat. The expression on her face was exactly the same as the one on the faces of those tourists: shell shock.

You're going to meet someone from the house without Zac. Your safety. Your refuge. Who's always,
always
there.

Despite the warmth of the car and the blanket across her knees, the cold seeped into her, stealing her anger and her determination, sapping her will.

No, this was ridiculous. She wouldn't be alone. Alex would be with her. True, Alex didn't have Zac's calm. He was more quicksilver to Zac's immovable granite. And he didn't—

Keep you safe.

The tension had crept back into her muscles again, squeezing around her heart. She couldn't breathe, her fingers knotted tight into her blanket. When it got this bad, she had difficulty even getting out of the car.

Shit. It wasn't going to work. Thinking she could take Alex and Katya, and expecting to be able to operate normally. Because she couldn't. Because Alex wasn't Zac. He hadn't spent years at her side, and she didn't know him like she knew the tattooed mercenary who'd rescued her from that house. He didn't represent the same things to her that Zac represented.

And if she went to pieces when she was supposed to be questioning this guy, then that wouldn't help anyone. This was about more than herself and her stupid feelings. And it was too important to fuck up, especially given there were other people involved with this. People she cared about. Gabe and Alex. Honor.

Zac had been right. She couldn't allow her own stubbornness to get in the way.

Of course, it was going to mean she'd have to give him what he wanted. The trust she no longer had a supply of. Tricky.

“You do exactly what I say, when I say it. No argument, no protest.”

Could she really give someone power over her like that again? Everything The Man had done to her at that house had shown her how powerless she was, how insignificant, and she never wanted to feel so vulnerable and helpless ever again. Yet now Zac was asking her to do exactly that. Put herself in his power.

Well, she couldn't. Even after seven years, he was an unknown quantity and she had no idea what he might ask of her. That alone was reason enough to refuse.

But there was something else she could offer him. Something else he wanted.

Herself.

A small, primitive part of her screamed in denial but she ignored it. After all, it was only sex and it wasn't like she hadn't had it before. No big deal. What she'd done with The Man in that house had nothing to do with anything. It didn't affect her. It didn't matter. She was strong. She moved on.

Hell, all you did was lie there and spread your legs and …

“Think of England,” she said ironically to the empty car.

Though it didn't mean she wasn't still pissed at him for changing the rules on her. For wanting something he shouldn't and using it against her.

Wanting you …

She swallowed as a sensation she couldn't quite identify whispered down her spine. Like heat or … no. It was nothing. Nothing at all.

Grabbing her phone, she quickly sent off a text to Alex
. I think we're going to need Zac for this. Wait until I've managed to get hold of him.

Then she leaned forward and pressed the intercom. “Temple? I've changed my mind. We're going to Zac's office instead.”

He wanted things to change? Well, they were about to.

 

CHAPTER FIVE

On the desk beside him, Zac's phone buzzed. He picked it up instantly, glancing down at the screen. Alex.
She's just canceled
, the text read.
Says she needs you after all. WTF is going on with you two?

Zac put the phone down without replying, his heart beating slightly faster than normal. Alex had sent him a text earlier with the name and address of the man Eva had identified. And a comment saying
Apparently you're too “busy”?

He'd expected Eva would choose to follow up this lead, but he couldn't deny the bitter disappointment of her choosing to do it without him.

You don't give a shit.

Her words rankled. Because that was the entire problem, wasn't it? He
did
give a shit. He gave too much of one and yet she would only ever see it as betrayal. She wouldn't see just how their peculiar kind of friendship was twisting their lives into shapes they weren't supposed to be in. Stunting both of them.

He'd had to do something. Take some kind of action. Sure, telling her he'd never see her again the night before had been a calculated risk and leaving her one of the more difficult things he'd ever done. Yet one of the most necessary. He didn't regret it. Nor did he regret the ultimatum he'd given her. Emotional blackmail, she'd called it and maybe it was. Then again, she'd been using the same technique on him for years She just didn't see that herself yet.

Maybe she never would.

Still. Looked like his actions had had some effect.

She needs you after all …

He pushed back his elegant, leather chair and stood up, moving around the massive oak desk and over to the expensive wooden bookshelves that stood along the wall of his office. Pausing there, staring sightlessly at the spines of his beautifully ordered library. He had many more in his apartment, this was just the overspill. Kept because he liked knowledge. And beautiful things. And …

Jesus Christ, why was he thinking of books? Eva was coming. Which meant she was going to give him what he wanted. What she should have given him a long time ago. Her trust.

About fucking time.

Something stirred in him. Something hungry, but he quelled it. Took a long, silent breath, composing himself. Naturally the Dom in him liked the idea of Eva's trust, of her obeying him, and naturally it made his cock hard. Christ, how he'd love to test that trust, test her. Show her what her body was capable of, the pleasure it could give her.

But that wasn't going to happen. Sex wasn't his objective, and most especially not when she didn't want him the way he wanted her. What was more important than that was the fact that she had a lead. The first one they'd had since Alex had returned from Monte Carlo with the videotape.

He was pleased about that since regardless of what he'd told Eva, he hadn't actually wanted to leave Alex and Gabe in the lurch. They were important to him. Hell, they were more family to him than his own ever were and that meant something. Plus there was also the fact that the deepening mystery around the Lucky Seven was a fascinating puzzle he didn't want to give up. And now it looked like he wouldn't have to.

Zac straightened his tie, flicked a bit of lint off the lapel of his suit jacket, then strode back over to his desk and sat down behind it again.

So. She apparently needed him. Which meant she was either going to call or he would be blessed with a personal visit. He was hoping for the latter.

And indeed, fifteen minutes later, the door to his office banged open without ceremony and Eva came in, slamming the door shut behind her.

He couldn't take his eyes off her. Not that she looked any different—black jeans with a Nine Inch Nails T-shirt this time. Black leather jacket. Beanie. Silver hair caught at the nape of her neck in a ponytail. The same clothing she'd worn all the years he'd known her. And the same expression on her face—stubborn determination and fierce, angry pride.

Yet he drank her in because despite the fact that he'd told himself the risk was a calculated one, that she'd probably come to him eventually, he hadn't been sure.

And now she
was
here. She'd made her choice. And her choice was him, whether she knew that consciously or not.

“Good morning, Eva,” he said calmly.

Her gaze narrowed, her sharp gray eyes moving over him. “So. I've been thinking. This obeying-your-commands / trust bullshit is just a front, right? For what you really want.”

What the hell? He frowned. “What do you mean ‘what I really want'?”

“You told me you wanted me. So I'm prepared to do that, give you what you want.” Without any preamble at all, she shrugged off her leather jacket and threw it down on the plush armchair near his desk. One hand moved to the buttons of her jeans, beginning to undo them. “Where do you want it then? On the desk? Or the floor, I don't care.”

He went still, his calm beginning to drain away. “What are you doing?”

“Taking my clothes off. What does it look like?”

Shock crawled down his spine as he struggled to understand. “Why?”

Her fingers undid another button. “You said you wouldn't help unless I gave you what you wanted. And since I figured trust was just a metaphor, I thought I'd cut out the crap and go straight for what you meant. May as well get it over and done with, right?” Yet another button undone, the denim coming apart.

“Stop.” His voice sounded strange. This was not what he'd asked for and definitely not, in any of his dirtiest fantasies, how he'd expected it to go with Eva.

“Oh, come on. Please don't tell me you're embarrassed. You were the one who broached the topic after all.” She undid the last button on her jeans, revealing the plain black waistband of what surely had to be plain black cotton panties.

His breath caught and the strange paralysis that had him in its grip broke. He surged to his feet, palms flat on the top of his desk. “
Stop, Eva.

Her fingers stilled. There was a stubborn cast to her chin, a defiant look in her eyes. And satisfaction, oh yes, that was there too.

It made him furious. “You think I said that about trust because I wanted to get into your pants? A quick fuck to get it ‘over and done with'?”

Her shoulder lifted. “Wasn't that what you told me?”

“No. That's not what I said.” He stared at her, at the expression on her face. And beneath the defiance and the satisfaction, he saw anger and fear. This would have cost her, he knew it. A blow to her pride to have to come to him. Not that she was here exactly for him anyway. She was here because she needed a fucking security blanket and he was it.

Fury sharpened its claws against muscle and tendon, tensing him up. He pressed his hands harder on the wood of his desk, directing all that energy down and away from him. “Why are you
really
here, Eva?” He wanted her to say it, admit it. “Did your nerve fail?”

Her chin came up at that. “No, of course not. You're better at interrogation than I am. I asked Alex to come along, but he's too impatient for this kind of thing. He doesn't have the finesse that you do.” She paused, making no move to do up the buttons on her jeans, the way she was standing revealing a strip of soft white skin just above that tantalizing black waistband. “And hey, you were the one that told me this was too important to let my personal issues get in the way. So here I am. If sex is your price for your help, then I'll pay it. No big deal.”

She made it sound like nothing. Like it was, indeed, no big deal. And yet at the same time sleazy and cheap.

Slowly, Zac took his hands off the desk and straightened, let the fury burn its way through his body. Let it show in his eyes. Because he'd be fucked if she thought she could come in here, waving her assumptions around like they were truth. Reducing his wants to sex because she was the one who was afraid. And she was afraid, of that he was certain.

She'd give him her body—no matter her past—but not the real prize. Her trust. Apparently even after seven years he still hadn't earned it.

“You think, after all this time, that all I want from you is a quick fuck on my desk?” He said the words clearly, enunciating every one. “If that's all I wanted, I would have taken it years ago. I would have had you so many times by now you wouldn't be able to walk straight.”

Color swept through her pale face. “Like I would have let you.”

Holy Christ, she had no idea. No clue at all. He held her gaze, letting her see all the savage rage burning its way through him. “You would have begged me, angel. I could have made you. But I didn't. Just remember that. Not once did I touch you, not fucking once.”

Her lips pressed together, soft pink compressing into white. “So, what? I guess that's a no then?”

More bravado. More pretense. Did she really and honestly believe that's all he wanted? Or was that just a lie she told herself so she didn't have to give any part of herself away? To keep him at arm's length?

God, it made him so angry. The Dom wanted to punish her, teach her a lesson as if she was an insubordinate sub. And hell, why not? She deserved it for even thinking a quick fuck was what he wanted. Was
all
he wanted. For reducing seven years of care into a meaningless physical connection.

She stood on the other side of the desk, her chin tipped up, defiance and challenge written all over her face. A red rag to a bull. A virgin to a dragon.

Well, this dragon was hungry and furious, and that virgin needed to be taught a fucking lesson. He wasn't going to be kept at arm's length any longer.

“My price has just changed,” he said, putting the edge of steel into his voice. “Since you seem to assume that all I want from you is sex, I've decided I'll take both. Your trust
and
your body.”

For the first time since she'd come into his office, open fear flickered in her gaze. Clearly she hadn't actually expected him to take her up on her offer. And no wonder. Despite her tough looks, foul mouth, and the moments when she seemed old beyond her years, she was in many ways an innocent. She'd seen a lot of evil, a lot of pain and misery. And she'd known intimately the cruelty that could be between men and women.

But he'd bet his soul that she wouldn't know the pleasure.

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